1. 12 Most Offensive Phrases
You Could Use in Your
Business
Marc Ensign
Aug 3, 2012 in Blog, Business, Communication, Education and
training, Inspiration, Networking, Relationships, Talent &
Professional Development
2. Listening to most business people talk makes me cringe.
They purposely sprinkle their language with fancy schmancy
catch phrases and five dollar words in what I can only
assume is an effort to make up for years of being picked last
in kickball. Could you be one of them?
Let’s take a look at 12 of the most offending phrases and find
out…
3. 1. Out of the box
Are you an “out of the box” thinker? Guess again. If you
actually use the phrase out of the box for anything other than
making fun of people that say out of the box, you are about
as inside the box as you can get. You know that stray
styrofoam peanut that gets wedged under the inside flap
deep inside the box? Yeah, that’s you.
4. 2. I’m a guru
Please don’t call yourself a guru just because you are pretty
good at something. You aren’t a guru. If you think you are,
clearly you don’t know what a guru is. It’s not clever. Nobody
takes you seriously. We’re not impressed. Perhaps you
should call yourself a unicorn instead. It’s equally as absurd.
5. 3. My two cents
Is that all your advice is worth? If you don’t think that what
you are about to say is worth more than 2 cents, what am I
supposed to think of it? I’ll tell you what, how about you keep
your 2 cents and only speak up when you are ready with your
$2 million dollar advice?
6. 4. Let me give you my card
If I wanted your card, I would have asked for it. Now you’ve
not only killed a tree but because I’m going to throw away
your card the second you turn around, you’ve now put it on
my conscience. How about this? Make me want to ask you
for your card instead. Try spending more than a few minutes
with me. Learn who I am. Tell me something really interesting
about yourself. This is called building a relationship.
7. 5. Literally
I am literally going to gouge my eyes out with a dull butter
knife if you continue to use the word “literally” when you
literally mean figuratively. Seriously.
8. 6. It’s not rocket science
Is this the official measurement that determines if something
is difficult nowadays? It’s not rocket science. I bet it’s not a
bologna sandwich either so why not use that instead?
Because it doesn’t make any sense?
Gotcha.
9. 7. We have synergy
Peanut butter and chocolate have synergy. You and some
guy that you just met at a local networking event do not. And
telling them that you feel synergy in an effort to sell
something to them or their clients is pretty crummy.
10. 8. Social media ROI
Stop talking about ROI when it comes to social media. Social
media is meant for building relationships. If that turns into
business, great. If it doesn’t, great. It shouldn’t be your sole
purpose. We, as your customers, friends and followers are
offended by it. Ask your spouse what the ROI on your
marriage is and let me know how it goes.
11. 9. State of the art
You can’t describe something that is state of the art with a
phrase that is not state of the art.
12. 10. New media
Newsflash! The Internet is well over 20 years old. Google is
almost 15 years old. Facebook is 8 years old. This is not new
media. It’s media. Stop pretending like you created this new
form of marketing and interaction to share with the world. You
are using the same tools as the rest of us.
13. 11. Cyberspace
Would you please just call it the Internet already? I think that
pretty much covers this one.
14. 12. To be honest with you
No, I would prefer that you lie to me. The problem with saying
“to be honest with you” insinuates that everything else you
have said up until this point has been a complete and utter
lie. For example, I have the ability to communicate with sea
urchins but to be honest with you, I really like hot dogs.
15. So, how did you fare? Don’t worry if
you failed. We’re all guilty of blurting
out a phrase or two at some point or
another. Besides, who’s to say I’m even
right? It’s just my 2 cents.
