The document discusses the causes and effects of divorce. It notes that the most common cause is selfishness, and other factors include changing values, abuse, or substance abuse. Divorce hurts those getting divorced and those around them, like children. Children may feel rejected and alone after divorce. While some divorces relieve family stress, others devastate the family. The document provides tips for helping children adjust, such as decreasing conflict, maintaining relationships with parents, and consistent visitation with non-custodial parents.

2.  The most common cause of
divorce is selfishness.
 It could be selfishness with time,
money, work, caring and
communication.
 Other factors of divorce may be
changing value system, physical
and emotional abuse, religious
differences or alcohol/substance
abuse.

3.  No one ever escapes from a divorce unscathed.
 Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings
of rejection, security, and a loss of self-
esteem.
 The 4 major arguments against divorce are:
1. Divorce hurts you.
2. Divorce hurts those around you.
3. Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.
4. Staying married is better for you.

4.  Brings out selfishness, hostility and
vindictiveness
 Ruins your idealism about marriage
 Emotionally scars you
 Costs a great deal of money, reduces your
standard of living

5.  Devastates children for at least two years,
and possibly for life
 Family and friends are compelled to take
sides
 Places you against people you once loved

6.  Singlehood is full of rejection,
disappointment and frustration
 Even a successful relationship that leads to
another marriage often ends in divorce (75%)

7.  You do not have to disrupt your life for 2 to 7
years
 Solving marital problem provides a sense of
team work and stands as a concrete
accomplishment that enhances problem
solving skills in the larger world
 Marriage is statistically proven to be the best
status for your health

8.  Divorce people have more illness, more
premature deaths, higher suicide rates
and more accidents than those who are
married.
 When we divorce we learn to doubt that
any relationship can be permanent.
 Children fear that they caused the
divorce and they feel rejected and alone.

9.  The “social readjustment rating scale” which
lists life events most shattering to one’s
equilibrium, shows the following
 1. death of a spouse
 2. divorce
 3. marital separation

10.  Dealing with divorce is similar to coping
with a death.
 A person goes through three stages.
1. Shock and numbness – one blocks out reality,
denial.
2. Reality – deep sadness and great sense of loss,
depression and anxiety.
3. Recovery – they give up their hopes and plans
they had with the other person.

11. The consequences vary, depending on:
 children's ages,
 family characteristics,
 level of family conflict,
 parent-child relationships,
 socio-economic level,
 mental well-being of each parent,
 maternal employment,
 and amount of social support.
 Some divorces bring relief to families while others
leave the family devastated.
• Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the
family devastated.

12. Age Theme Symptoms What to do
2-5 Abandonment Sleep Explain custodial
disturbances parent will return.
5-9 Displaced, School Discuss fears,
Grief difficulties Contact with
non-custodial
parent.
9-12 Acting out Spying, fight Patience, love
with parents.
13+ Relationship Independence, Communication,
failure promiscuous encourage
relationships.

13. Parents can help children adjust to divorce by:
1. decreasing conflict,
2. relationship with parents,
3. economic stability,
4. and consistent visitation.

14.  Fold a piece of light colored paper into a
pamphlet
 Cover page- title “Divorce” and Name/class
period
 Page 1- Four arguments against divorce, and
explanations (notes)
 Page 2- three stages of coping with divorce
(notes)
 Page 3- 5 reasons FOR marriage (Article)
 Page 4- effects of divorce on kids (notes)
 Page 5- what parents can do to help kids
adjust (article)