You made a choice of your spouse when saw him/her. So you have to work out your marriage and the key to successful marriage is forgiving each other.

1. 1
FORGIVENESS IS
KEY IN MARRIAGE
Monday,
October 28,
2013
To sustain your marriage, you must live
forgiving.

2. 2
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your
wives in an understanding way,
showing honor to the woman as the
weaker vessel, since they are heirs
with you of the grace of life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered”.
 Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

Monday, October 28, 2013

3. 3

Romans 12:19-21
„Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but
leave it to the wrath of God, for it is
written, “Vengeance is mine, I will
repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary,
“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if
he is thirsty, give him something to
drink; for by so doing you will heap
burning coals on his head.” Do not be
overcome by evil, but overcome evil
Monday, October 28, 2013

4. 4

Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive others their
trespasses, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you, but if you do
not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive
your trespasses”.
Monday, October 28, 2013

5. 5

John 20:23
“If you forgive the sins of any, they
are forgiven them; if you withhold
forgiveness from any, it is
withheld.”
Monday, October 28, 2013

6. 6

Second only to our relationship
with God, marriage is the single
most important relationship that
we will ever have. People enter
into a marriage with great joy and
wonderful expectations of
spending the rest of their days
with the love of their life.
Monday, October 28, 2013

7. 7

Vows are exchanged,
commitments are made, and the
journey of learning how to make
two distinctly different individuals
become one begins.
Monday, October 28, 2013

8. 8

As people stay together, they
realize that the husband/wife has
many faults and it is not the same
person you knew before. Marriage
conflicts become part of their
staying together. To survive or to
sustain that marriage the couple
has to learn to forgive each other.
Monday, October 28, 2013

9. 9

Forgiving your spouse does not
mean that you must tolerate and
accept abusive behavior, whether
it is mental, emotional, physical, or
marital infidelity.
Monday, October 28, 2013

10. 10

Those types of behaviors are
absolutely unacceptable, and
should never be tolerated by
anyone. Living with the attitude of
forgiveness towards the abuser is
mandatory, living with the abuser
is not.
Monday, October 28, 2013

11. 11

For any marriage to succeed, the
couple must respond with
forgiveness from the very heart of
Jesus. Whether it is marital
unfaithfulness, mistreatment, or
any other reason, forgiveness
must reign.
Monday, October 28, 2013

12. 12

It has been said, and I think rightly
so, that “Marriage at its best is a
struggle”. In order for a marriage
to continue and grow strong it
must flow in forgiveness.
Monday, October 28, 2013

13. 13

Forgiveness can be quite painful
when it involves someone you are
madly in love with. In marriage,
forgiveness is not "Don't worry
about what you did, I'm fine with it
and we all make mistakes."
Monday, October 28, 2013

14. 14

It sounds spiritual and great
coming out of our mouths, but
inside we are struggling with
hypocrisy. We are plagued by an
abyss of pain, anger, bitterness,
and resentment. Forgiveness is
not lip service. It is a change
Monday, October 28, 2013

15. 15

Forgiveness is not forgetting the
offense. Forgiveness is not
choosing to inflict the price for the
offense.
Monday, October 28, 2013

16. 16

Forgiveness becomes a struggle
when we seek to please our flesh.
We struggle because the Holy
Spirit demands that we be like
Christ. God is as displeased with
unforgiveness as he is with sexual
sins, deception, lying, and envy.
Monday, October 28, 2013

17. 17

We should be concerned for
ourselves when we seek revenge
on the people we promised to love,
honor, and cherish. Unforgiveness
unequivocally implicates the
wickedness hidden in our hearts
and the depravity of our own
souls.
Monday, October 28, 2013

18. Real Forgiveness Is
18
Real forgiveness is threefold.
 1. Forgiveness means excusing
the penalty for an offense, offering
pardon.
 2. Forgiveness means renouncing
anger and resentment.
 3. Finally, forgiveness is a choice.
God gave all of us the power to
choose.

Monday, October 28, 2013

19. 19

These definitions are simplistic,
but they pack enough power to
loosen the stronghold of
unforgiveness.
Monday, October 28, 2013

20. 20

Forgiveness is a gift not a given
thing. When we choose to forgive
our spouse, we are giving up our
"right" to hold something against
them.
Monday, October 28, 2013

21. Asking for Forgiveness
21

1. Make an unconditional
apology
An unconditional apology
focuses on our responsibility in
the matter – not our spouse's. It
should sound something like
this, "I was wrong for what I did
and I am so sorry." Period.
Monday, October 28, 2013

22. 22

We don't make excuses or point
the finger at our spouse. An
unconditional apology should not
sound like this, "I am sorry, BUT IF
YOU wouldn't have..." That is NOT
an unconditional apology.
Monday, October 28, 2013

23. 23

2.Humbly ask for the gift of
forgiveness
Again, since forgiveness is not a
given thing, we must ask for it.
After our apology we need to
sincerely ask our spouse to
forgive us.
Monday, October 28, 2013

24. 24

3. Follow up with action
This is what gives substance to
apologizing and asking for
forgiveness. We need to sincerely
repent – or turn away – from our
wrongs. Whether it's attitudes or
actions, we need to show our
spouse that we are changing.
Monday, October 28, 2013

25. 25

And, we need to be open to his/her
input as to what constitutes
satisfactory change. Remember,
he/she is the one who has been
hurt so he/she might require more
from us than we think necessary.
But, we should be aware of his/her
needs and be open to his/her
suggestions.
Monday, October 28, 2013

26. 26

4. Give your spouse time
Even if your spouse does accept
your apology and grant
forgiveness, we can't expect
things to be better right away. Now
sure, you might get over the small
things more quickly – but for
bigger things, it can take your
spouse time to warm up to you
Monday, October 28, 2013

27. 27

Be patient with them. Time will
show that you are changing and
are sincere about not hurting them
again.
Monday, October 28, 2013

28. Granting Forgiveness
28

1. Forgiveness is a choice not a
feeling
We may not feel like forgiving our
mate. We may want to harbor the
anger and hurt and make them pay
for what they have done. But, once
you decide you want to grant
forgiveness, you can begin to work
through those feelings.
Monday, October 28, 2013

29. 29

2. Share your hurt
After your spouse has apologized
and asked for forgiveness you
need to talk about the matter
before you move on. It might be
uncomfortable, but you need to
share how you feel about what has
happened.
Monday, October 28, 2013

30. 30

Don't point a finger at them; just
share how you feel, so they
understand the depth of your hurt.
Make sure you feel heard, before
you move on.
Monday, October 28, 2013

31. 31

3. Plan for change
Decide together what your
spouse's change of heart will look
like. Be clear about what you
expect and what you need. The
goal here is not to punish with
requirements, but to set up
guidelines that you both agree to.
That way, there will be fewer gray
areas that can lead to
Monday, October 28, 2013

32. 32

4. Stop Mentioning Those Things
Again and Again
When your mind starts to wander
and you begin to dwell on the
incident and the hurt they caused
you, tell yourself to stop. It's one
thing to need to talk to someone
like a pastor or a counselor about
your pain so you can move past it,
but it's another when you keep
inflicting the pain on yourself by
dwelling on the hurt.
Monday, October 28, 2013

33. 33

Deciding to truly forgive your
spouse is re-committing to your
relationship. Don't sabotage that
recommitment by focusing on the
negative.
Monday, October 28, 2013

34. 34

5. Give yourself time
Just deciding to forgive will not
strip away all of the pain of the
incident. You need to give yourself
time.
Monday, October 28, 2013

35. 35

No one can make you forgive. It is
your choice. But, if you decide not
to forgive you will suffer the
consequences of bitterness and
frustration that harboring
resentment brings.
Monday, October 28, 2013

36. 36

On the other hand, when you grant
forgiveness you are taking the first
step in ridding your heart of the
pain you now feel. You are saying,
"Yes, you hurt me and what you
did was wrong. But, I am giving up
my right to punish you. In so
doing, I am rising above the pain
you have caused me."
Monday, October 28, 2013

37. 37

Finally I say like this about
marriage: You made a choice of
your spouse when saw him/her. So
you have to work out your
marriage and the key to
successful marriage is forgiving
each other.
Monday, October 28, 2013

38. 38
From the word SEE, I would suggest
the following:
 S- Suffering in your marriage
 E- Enduring your marriage
 E- Enjoying your marriage.
 In order to enjoy your marriage you
must live a forgiving life.
 FORGIVE..
FORGIVE…FORGIVE….FORGIVE…..

Monday, October 28, 2013