2. Importance of Emotional
Intelligence
• The beginning of ‘everything’ happening in
business and core of all actions is human
activity
• People need people. Human experience
involves interaction or relationship with other
people.
• Nothing of and consequence happens until
human beings want to act
• Individuals are hired/selected based on their
technical skills but their success on the job is
based on Human Relation Skills

3. • Emotional Intelligence motivates you to
pursue your unique potential and purpose.
• Emotions are inherently neither positive nor
negative rather emotions are a source of
human energy, authenticity and drive.
• Emotions keep you honest, with yourself,
shapes trusting relationships, provide an
inner compass for your life.

4. • Teenager – One of the teenager pouring paint over
school desks/ computers/printers.
• Teenagers killing another school friend.
• Increase in the number of violent crime among
teenagers.
• Teenagers murder cases have quadripled from
1965 to 1990.
• Suicide rate for children increased – tripled during
1968-1985.
TEENAGERS

5. • Studies shown children rejected at the early age
and suffered during the childhood time are 4
time more likely to commit violent crime by
age 18.
• Sexual abuse of children on rise.
TEENAGERS

6. STRESS AND COLD VIRUS
• Little Stress
• Most Stress
• Couple who are unset
with their marital
fights.
• 27% came down with
cold after exposed to
virus.
• 47% get the cold and
evidence that stress
weakens the immune
System.
• They came down with cold
or upper respiratory
infection.

7. Year Marriages ended in Divorce
1890 10%
1920 18%
1950 30%
1970 50%
1990 67%
Divorce Rate in America
Three in ten of newly weds
can cound staying married
Present Trend
INTIMATE ENEMIES
The Current trends in marriage & divorce make emotional
intelligence more crucial than ever.

8. EMOTIONAL ECOLOGY OF
MARRIED PEOPLE
FINDING
•For two Decades the Ups & Downs of 200
couples was tracked by Goff man.
•In healthy marriage husband and wife feel
free to voice a complaint.
•But too often in heat of anger complaints
are expressed in destructive fashion as
attack on spouse’s character.
•It is important to understand the difference
of complaints and personal criticisms.

9. • In complaint spouse state what is upsetting her and
criticize the action not the partner.
• But in personal criticism spouse launches the attack
on the partner – you are selfish, uncaring.
• The person at the receiving end feel – ashamed,
disliked and blamed.
• Habitual criticism, contempt or disgust are danger
signs the spouse counterattack in return.
• Pessimistic spouse are prone to emotional hijackings;
- get angry hurt or otherwise distressed.

10. • Surging tide of aggression among the people.
• Freeway mishaps ending in shooting.
• Disgruntled ex-employees massacring former
fellow workers.
• Violence in the name of religion
• Political murders on the rise.
• Rising rates of depression worldwide.
• Heroin & cocaine usage multiplied manifolds.
EMOTIONS

11. • Family life is our first school for emotional learning;
• How we feel about ourselves and how others will
react to our feelings.
• Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, other
atrocious.
When girls play together
• Do so in small, intimate groups.
• Emphasis in minimizing hostility and maximizing,
co-operation.
• When someone get injured during the play – girls
stop the play and help the girl who is crying.
FAMILY CRUCIBLE

12. Boys Games
• Play in larger groups
• Emphasis on competition
• When games get disrupted due to someone getting injured
– the injured get out of the way and stop crying and game
go on.
• The boys take pride – in being alone
- tough minded
- independence &
- Autonomy
• Boys are more threatened by anything that challenge
their independence.
FAMILY CRUCIBLE

13. • Unable to please either father or mother in tension
and blinks as her eyes fill with tears.
• Parents start bickering, ignoring. Daughter came to
conclusion that neither her parents, nor anyone else
cares about her feelings.
• Parents teaching their daughter – how to play video
game – to the right, to the right – stop stop stop.
Mother – you’re not lined up.
Daughter – Her eyes rolling upward in frustration
yells over the advice, stop! Stop!
FAMILY CRUCIBLE

14. Emotional malaise is a universal price of modern life.
Withdrawal or social problems
Preferring to be alone
Sulking a lot
Feeling unhappy
Anxious and depressed
Being lonely, fears and worries, feeling unloved, feeling nervous,
sad or depressed.
Attention or thinking problems
unable to pay attention, sit still day dreaming, action without
thinking, being nervous to concentrate.
Emotional Malaise

15. Example:
Parents – Saving a cherished child.
Mothers sacrificing herself for the child.
Career girls murder Richard a seasoned burglar, habit of heroin
Regret every day on that moment, some twenty five year later.
He said, “I just went bananas. My head just exploded.
To this day he regrets those few minutes to rage unleashed.
Emotional Malaise

16. Latika – just playing a joke with her father, jumped
and yelled “Boo” father got scared and shot at her
own daughter and killed her.
Parents gone to a party and came late night, the
daughter who was staying in hotel can & wanted
give a surprise. In the process got killed.
Anita while describing here achievement on becoming
VP (Marketing) of a Multinational weeping and assertive
- My husband left me for another woman but I am
woman of substance now.
Emotional Malaise

17. Watch Out!!!!
• Persistent disturbances in mood - depression,
anxiety etc.
• Alteration in vegetative functions - sleep patterns,
appetite.
• Changes in behaviour - irritability, restlessness,
decreased initiative, reduced desire.
• Increasing dependence on alcohol, tobacco,
stimulants or any others drugs of abuse.
• Disturbance in cognition - concentration, memory,
attention-span.
• Persistent physical complaints despite investigations
revealing no abnormality or even after suggested
medical treatment has been completed.

18. Emotional intelligence is the
ability to sense, understand and
effectively apply the power and
acumen of emotions.
Emotional Intelligence

19. What is an Emotion ?
• Any agitation or disturbance of mind
• Refers to a feeling and distinctive thoughts,
psychological and biological states.
• There are hundreds of emotions, along with
their blends and variations.

20. Executive EQ
• With high IQ you get hired; with a high IQ
you get promoted, with high IQ you can
handle daily work routine. With high EQ,
you can thrive during times of change.
• With high IQ, you can be an efficient
professional manager. With high EQ you
become a Great Leader.

21. It is with the heart that
one sees rightly. What is
essential is invisible to
the eye.

22. Emotional Intelligence evolves over
a series of transactions and
instances between two or more
individuals.

23. The concept of Emotional
Intelligence comes from
understanding others’ feelings and
attitude, thereby developing more
respect for people and accepting
them as individuals

24. • Emotions are important determinants because
they affect personal and social adjustments.
• Emotions colour the individual’s perception of
himself, environment and affects his behaviour.
• An individual who feel frustrated will be more
hostile and impulsive.
• Emotions colour a person’s interest, attitude,
Emotional Determinants

25. Emotional Intelligence &
Intelligence Quotient
• IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people
with roughly equal promises, schooling, and
opportunity.
• 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were
followed into middle age. It was found that the men
with the highest test scores in college were not
particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring
peers in terms of salary, productivity, or status in their
own field. They also did not have the greatest life
satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with
friendships, family and romantic relationship.

26. Defining EQDefining Emotional Intelligence
•Knowing one’s emotions
•Managing Oneself
•Motivating oneself
•Recognizing emotions in others
•Handling relationships

27. Emotions, like
the eyes,
have long
been called a
mirror of the
soul

28. The problem is not with emotionality but
with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression.
The challenge is to manage our emotional
life with intelligence.

29. “To be angry with
the right person, to
the right degree, at
the right time, for
the right purpose,
and in the right way”
Aristotle

30. Emotional Skills
• Identifying and labelling feelings
• Expressing feelings
• Assessing the intensity of feelings
• Managing feelings
• Delaying gratification
• Controlling impulses
• Reducing stress
• Knowing the difference between
feelings and actions

31. Emotions - Categorised
• Anger - fury, outrage, resentment, wrath,
exasperation, indignation, vexation,
acrimony, animosity, annoyance,
irritability, and hostility and perhaps at the
extreme, pathological hatred and violence.
• Sadness - grief, sorrow, cheerlessness,
gloom, melancholy, self-pity, loneliness,
dejection, despair and when pathological,
severe depression.

32. Emotions - Categorised (contd)
• Fear - anxiety, apprehension, nervousness,
concern, consternation, misgiving, wariness,
qualm, edginess, dread, fright, terror; as a
psychopathology, phobia and panic
• Enjoyment: happiness, joy, relief,
contentment, bliss, delight, amusement,
pride, sensual pleasure, thrill, rapture,
gratification, satisfaction, euphoria, whimsy,
ecstasy and at the far end, mania.

33. • Love - acceptance, friendliness, trust,
kindness, affinity, devotion, adoration,
infatuation, agape
• Surprise - shock, astonishment,
amazement, wonder
• Disgust - contempt, disdain, scorn,
abhorrence, aversion, distate, resulsion
• Shame - guilt, embarrassment, chagrin,
remorse, humiliation, regret,
mortification
Emotions - Categorised (contd)

34. Impulses to Action
Tendency to act is implicit in every emotion. Each
emotion prepares the body for different kind of
responses:
Anger - Blood flows to the hands, making it easier
to grasp a weapon or strike at a foe. Heartbeat
increases. Rush of hormones such as adrenaline
generates a pulse of energy.
Fear - Blood goes to large skeletal muscles such as
legs, making it easier to flee - and making the face
blanch as blood is shunted away from it.

35. • Happiness - An increased activity in a brain
centre that inhibits negative feelings and fosters
an an increase in available energy.
• Love - Tender feeling and sexual satisfaction. It
is opposite to flight-or-fight mobilisation shared
by anger and fear.
• Surprise - It allows taking of larger visual sweep
and also permits more light to strike the retina.
Impulses to Action
contd...

36. • Disgust - The facial expression of disgust -
the upper lip curled to the side and nose
wrinkles slightly.
• Sadness - To help adjust to a significant
loss, such as death of someone close,
sadness brings drop in energy and
enthusiasm for life’s activities. It may lead
to depression, slows the body metabolism.
Impulses to Action
contd...

37. Thalamus
THE EMOTIONAL
BRAIN
(Signals translated
to brain signals)
Visual Cortex
(Signals analysed
and assessed)
Amygdala
(Triggers emotional
response via
emergency)

38. If you cannot say it, write it.
If you are so upset that you might not be
able to speak coherently, write a letter to
the person who has angered you. You may
wisely decide not to mail the letter, but you
will have emptied your anger.

39. Anger - The Enemy Within
You cannot experience sweetness
in bitter gourd;
Similarly, you cannot experience
happiness in a fit of anger.

40. As water remaining in a fridge
becomes ice, similarly,
anger occupying the mind
turns into animosity.

41. Milk becomes sour, when remains for days.
Similarly anger results into disaster
When accumulated for long time in mind.

42. Thinking about what had happened in the past,
Will give rise to new animosities.
If you wish to stay away from animosity,
then leave aside old scores and come
to a stage of settlement.

43. It is the memory which constantly disturbs
our psyche and nourishes ill feelings
towards an individual and ultimately
digs the grave for our happiness.

44. • Observe a small child getting angry. He might
kick his mother, but his anger does not get
converted into animosity. Within a matter of
minutes, he can be seen in the lap of his mother.
• The reason behind this is that the ego has not
yet developed.
• A child can, therefore, exhibit anger on one
person and also start playing with him, the very
next moment.

45. You must be knowing that a hockey stick
has only a head, not a brain. Whosoever
holds it, does not think of anything else
except tackling or attacking the ball. The
result :
» Constant Anxiety
» Constant Aggression
» Constant Hurry
» Constant Impatience

46. •Look at your face when
angry – face becomes
fearsome that you
yourself will fear to see
oneself.

47. Love has never done any wrong
And has never been nasty
Whereas anger has never done any good
And has never benefited anyone.

48. If you feel that the one who attacks
another is the powerful one,
you are mistaken.
It is actually the one who is scared,
who attacks others as his defense.

49. ABCs of Emotional Intelligence
Self Awareness - in the sense of recognising
feelings, seeing the links between thoughts,
feelings, and reactions and seeing the
consequences of alternate choices.
Self awareness also takes the form of
recognising one’s strengths and weaknesses
and seeing oneself in a positive but realistic
light.

50. All emotions flow from two basic emotions;
Fear and Love.
One group of emotions makes us feel
restless and uneasy, the other brings about
balance and harmony.
We label the two as positive and negative. It
also encourages us to accept the happy ones
and reject the others.

51. We grow up with the understanding that while
it is correct to feel happy, joyful, and
grateful, it is in bad form to feel guilty,
irritated, stressed or sad.
These are emotions which make us weak and
we could be pushed into being a loser,
unable to cope.

52. Not only do we get into the habit of being
unable to acknowledge what we are feeling
worse, gradually, we begin to suppress
those feelings as they arise.

53. Where do we hide our feelings?
We repress them within - in various parts of
our body.
• Anger hides in our liver- ruining our
digestion and creating acidity;
• Responsibility sits heavy on our shoulders;
• inability to let go of the past, of hurt and
resentment caused constipation;
• Financial insecurity might cause us
discomfort in our lower back.

54. • Once, we begin emotional management, we
will begin to feel empowered.
• We will live in the present moment free of
past burdens and future worries.
• We will learn the meaning of emotional
freedom.

55. Do Not Accuse
• You can explain what makes you angry
without attacking the other person.
• Say. “I feel angry when …. Not “You make
me angry….”.
• Using this approach makes you more
powerful.

56. Arrest Anxiety
Another emotion, one usually generated by
inner rather than outer demons is anxiety.
You may be experiencing performance
anxiety. Others include social anxiety
(shyness), information anxiety (the fear of
looking dumb), and panic, which have
come of anxiety’s most intense symptoms.

57. Learn to manage our emotions
• All negative thoughts are caused by a
disruption in the body`s energy system.
• With awareness, we can lift ourselves out of
irritation, restlessness, anxiety, fear and
more.
• We can equally let go of long term hurts
and bitterness.

58. Take a brisk walk
Exercise will burn off the
excess adrenaline that
fuels your feelings of
anxiety.
Exercise releases
endorphins, a potent
group of natural
chemicals in the body
that may block anxiety
and depression.

59. Listen to the wind chime
There is nothing
quite like the
sound of wind on
chimes when stress
gets to a high pitch

60. Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them.

62. POSITIVE ATTITUDE
• Life is “now”
• Time to do what you want to do is now
• Desire to achieve
• Commitment to achieve
• Capacity to get along with others
• Clarity in target/goals.

63. POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Key to Success
No Matter What Attitude We Adopt. The Flow of
Life Continues But in the Moment We Do Have
Choice About the Direction In Which We Lean.
When We Resist the Flow, Life Becomes More
Difficult.
“Positive Attitude Means Leaning in the Direction
in Which Life Is Flowing”

64. POSITIVE ATTITUDEPOSITIVE ATTITUDE
• You are what your deep, driving desire is:
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
• The good news is ----
The bad news can be turned into good
news ……… when you change your
attitude.

65. POSITIVE ATTITUDEPOSITIVE ATTITUDE
• Importance of positive attitude:
- Count your garden by the flower
- Never by the leaves that fall
- Count your days by golden hours
- Don’t remember clouds at all
- Count your night by stars, not
shadows
- Count your life with smiles, not
tears

66. DYNAMICS OF POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Attitude
Activator
Personality
Attitude In Action
Result
• Anticipation
• Expectation
• Hope
• Confidence
• Faith
• Patience
• Humility
• Love
• Belief
• Enthusiastic
• Courageous
• Optimistic
• Cheerful
• Sincere
• Warm
• Relaxed
• Success
• Recognition
• Happiness
• Growth
• Admiration
• Friends

67. DYNAMICS OF NEGATIVE ATTITUDE
Attitude
Activator
Personality
Attitude In Action
Result
•Fear
•Doubt
•Envy
•Anger
•Conceit
•Self Pity
•Suspicion
•Indecision
•Criticism
•Inconsiderate
•Pessimistic
•Weak
•Cold
•Sour
•Irritable
•Worry
•Tension
•Frustration
•Failure
•Sickness
•No Friends

68. IF YOU WANT AND IF YOU
CAN’T - YOU HAVEN’T TRIED.

69. ATTITUDE
Is a little thing that makes a BIG
difference.

70. ATTITUDE
Keep your face to the sunshine and
you cannot see the shadows.

71. ATTITUDE
Attack every problem with enthusiasm…
as if your survival depended upon it.

72. ATTITUDE
Attitudes are contagious…
Is yours worth catching ?

73. CHANGE
If you are not riding the wave
of change… you will find yourself
beneath it.
CHANGE
A bend in the road is not the end
of the road… unless you
fail to make the turn.

74. SUCCESS
Success is a journey, not a destination.

75. SUCCESS
Some people dream of success ….
While others wake up and work hard at it.

76. CHALLENGES
Anyone can hold the
helm when the sea is calm

77. RISK
You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

78. OPPORTUNITY
There is an island of opportunity in
the middle of every difficulty.

79. MOMENTUM
A little push in the right direction
can make a big difference.