1. Class 8
EWRT 1A

2. AGENDA
 Presentation: MLA Format
 Editing Strategies: compound
sentences, dangling modifiers, homonyms
 Discussion: Open for questions
 In-Class Writing: Writing Workshop Editing

3. MLA Formatting Style
Hapi Tobia Student

4. MLA format: on our website under “MLA
Guidelines.”
Download “Hapi Tobia Student”
MLA (Modern Language Association) style is most commonly used to
write papers and cite sources within the liberal arts and humanities.
MLA style specifies guidelines for formatting manuscripts and using the
English language in writing. MLA style also provides writers with a
system for referencing their sources through parenthetical citation in
their essays and Works Cited pages.
Writers who properly use MLA also build their credibility by
demonstrating accountability to their source material. Most
importantly, the use of MLA style can protect writers from accusations of
plagiarism, which is the purposeful or accidental uncredited use of
source material by other writers.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/

5. Paper Format

6. Margins and Header: Last Name
Formatting 1
 1” all around  Double Click in
Header Area
 Go to “Layout” and
adjust margins or use  Type your last name
custom settings
 Justify right
 Times New Roman
 Go to “insert” and
12
click on “page
 Indent body number”
paragraphs ½ inch
from the margin

7. Heading: Double Title
Spaced
 Your Name  Original Title (not the
title of the essay we
 Dr. Kim Palmore
read)
 EWRT 1A
 No
 3 May 2012 italics, bold, underline,
or quotation marks
 Centered on the page
 No extra spaces (just
double spaced after
your heading and
before the body of your
text)

9. Short Quotations
 To indicate short quotations (fewer than four typed
lines of prose or three lines of verse) in your
text, enclose the quotation within double quotation
marks. Provide the author and specific page citation
(in the case of verse, provide line numbers) in the
text, and include a complete reference on the Works
Cited page. Punctuation marks such as
periods, commas, and semicolons should appear
after the parenthetical citation. Question marks and
exclamation points should appear within the
quotation marks if they are a part of the quoted
passage but after the parenthetical citation if they
are a part of your text.

10. For example, when quoting short passages of prose, use
the following examples:
 According to some, dreams express "profound aspects
of personality" (Foulkes 184), though others disagree.
 According to Foulkes's study, dreams may express
"profound aspects of personality" (184).
 Is it possible that dreams may express "profound
aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184)?
When short (fewer than three lines of verse) quotations from
poetry, mark breaks in short quotations of verse with a
slash, /, at the end of each line of verse (a space should
precede and follow the slash).
 Cullen concludes, "Of all the things that happened there /
That's all I remember" (11-12).

11. Long Quotations
 For quotations that extend to more than four lines of
verse or prose, place quotations in a free-standing
block of text and omit quotation marks. Start the
quotation on a new line, with the entire quote
indented one inch (10 spaces) from the left margin;
maintain double-spacing. Only indent the first line of
the quotation by an additional quarter inch if you are
citing multiple paragraphs. Your parenthetical
citation should come after the closing punctuation
mark. When quoting verse, maintain original line
breaks. (You should maintain double-spacing
throughout your essay.)

13. Common Writing
Errors
Wordiness

14. Wordiness: using more words than necessary
to express thought.
Many people write wordy papers because they
are trying to make their ideas sound important
by using long words and intricate sentences.
They think that their writing must be
complicated to seem professional. Although
these writers are trying to impress their
readers, they often end up confusing them. The
best writing is clear, concise, and easy to
understand. Your ideas are much more
impressive when your reader does not have to

15. Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in
one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine
redundancy as the following examples show:
Redundant Not Redundant
 The printer is located  The printer is
adjacent to the computer adjacent to the
 The printer is located in the computer
immediate vicinity of the
computer  The printer is near the
 The user can visibly see computer
the image moving
 The user can see the
 He wore a shirt that was
blue in color image moving
 The input is suitably  He wore a blue shirt.
processed
 The input is

16. Now you try it. Write this sentence in as few words as
possible without changing the meaning!
 The available receptacle, in
any case, was of insufficient
size to contain the total
quantity of unnecessary waste.

17. How to reduce
wordiness!
 1. Reduce Long  2. Reduce Phrases
Clauses
 Likewise, try to reduce
 When editing, try to phrases to single words:
reduce long clauses to
shorter phrases:  Wordy: The clown at the
end of the line tried to
 Wordy: The clown who sweep up the spotlight.
was in the center ring
was riding a tricycle.  Revised: The last clown
tried to sweep up the
 Revised: The clown in spotlight.
the center ring was riding
a tricycle.

18. Eliminating Wordiness Strategies
 3. Avoid Empty Openers  4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers
 Avoid There is, There are, and  Do not overwork
There were as sentence very, really, totally, and other
openers when There adds modifiers that add little or
nothing to the meaning of a nothing to the meaning of a
sentence: sentence.
 Wordy: There is a prize in every  Wordy: By the time she got
box of Quacko cereal. home, Merdine was very tired.
 Revised: A prize is in every box  Revised: By the time she got
of Quacko cereal. home, Merdine was exhausted
 Wordy: There are two security  Wordy: She was also really
guards at the gate. hungry.
 Revised: Two security guards  Revised: She was also hungry
stand at the gate. [or famished].

19. Eliminating Wordiness
 5. Avoid Redundancies
 Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use
more words than necessary to make a point) with
precise words. Remember: needless words are
those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the
meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and
distract from our ideas. So cut them out!
 Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our
work.
 Revised: Now we should edit our work.

20. Try these!
1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it
was necessary for him to help support his family.
2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced
by the bus company within the next few days.
3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested
in meeting foreign students may come to know one.
4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie on purpose.
5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have
been established for the safety of all.

21. Possible Answers
1. He dropped out of school to support his family.
2. The bus company will probably announce its
schedule during the next few days.
3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students
can do so in many ways.
4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie.
5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.

22. Find a Wordy Sentence
 Check your essay for wordiness. Look
for a sentence that falls into one of the
categories we just discussed. Edit it for
clarity and conciseness.

23. Punctuation

24. Compound Sentence
 A compound sentence is made up of two or more
simple sentences joined by one of the following:
 A comma and a coordinating conjunction
 I like to study grammar, and I love this class.
 A semicolon
 I like to study grammar; I love this class.
 A semicolon and an adverbial conjunction
 I like to study grammar; therefore, I love this class.

25. Coordinating

Conjunctions
Coordinating Conjunctions are used to join together two
independent clauses.
 For
 And
 Nor
 But
 Or
 Yet
 So

26. COMPOUND SENTENCE:
adverbial conjunctions
MOREOVER
HOWEVER
NEVERTHELESS
OTHERWISE
THEREFORE

27. COMPOUND SENTENCE:
CONJUNCTIVE ADVERBS
Thomas is cool; moreover, he is fashionable
Clause 1 . Clause 2
Independent Independent
Luke’s grandmother buys him sweaters;
however, he does not wear them.

28. Look for Run-On
Sentences
Look for compound sentences in your essay. Make
sure you are using both a comma and a conjunction.
Example: , and
Look for adverbial conjunctions; make sure you
have punctuated those sentences correctly.
Example ; however,

29. Common Writing Errors
Dangling modifiers

30. Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that modifies
a word not clearly stated in the sentence. A modifier
describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a
concept.
Having finished the assignment, Jill turned on the TV.
"Having finished" states an action but does not name
the doer of that action. In English sentences, the doer
must be the subject of the main clause that follows. In
this sentence, it is Jill. She seems logically to be the
one doing the action ("having finished"), and this

31. The following sentence has an incorrect usage:
Having finished the assignment, the TV was
turned on.
"Having finished" is a participle expressing
action, but the doer is not the TV set (the
subject of the main clause): TV sets don't finish
assignments. Since the doer of the action
expressed in the participle has not been clearly
stated, the participial phrase is said to be a
dangling modifier.

32. Strategies for revising
dangling modifiers:
1. Name the appropriate or logical doer of the action
as the subject of the main clause:
Having arrived late for practice, a written excuse was
needed.
Who arrived late? This sentence says that the written
excuse arrived late. To revise, decide who actually
arrived late. The possible revision might look like this:
Having arrived late for practice, the team captain
needed a written excuse.

33. 2. Change the phrase that dangles into a complete
introductory clause by naming the doer of the action in that
clause:
Without knowing his name, it was difficult to introduce him.
Who didn't know his name? This sentence says that "it"
didn't know his name. To revise, decide who was trying to
introduce him. The revision might look something like this:
Because Maria did not know his name, it was difficult to
introduce him.
The phrase is now a complete introductory clause; it does
not modify any other part of the sentence, so is not
considered "dangling."

34. 3. Combine the phrase and main clause into one:
To improve his results, the experiment was done again.
Who wanted to improve results? This sentence says that
the experiment was trying to improve its own results. To
revise, combine the phrase and the main clause into one
sentence. The revision might look something like this:
He improved his results by doing the experiment again.

35. Are these correct?
1. After reading the original study, the article remains
unconvincing.
2. Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, your
home should be a place to relax.
1. The experiment was a failure, not having studied the
lab manual carefully.

36. Incorrect: After reading the original study, the article remains
unconvincing.
Revised: After reading the original study, I find the article
unconvincing.
Incorrect: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, your home
should be a place to relax.
Revised: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, you should
be able to relax at home.
Incorrect: The experiment was a failure, not having studied the lab
manual carefully.
Revised: They failed the experiment, not having studied the lab
manual carefully.

37. Look for Dangling
Modifiers
Check your introductory clauses to
make sure that the doer is the
subject of the main clause that
follows it.

38. Misused Words

39. Homonyms
 Than and then
I am tanner than she.
We were both on the beach, but then she went inside.
 There, their, and they're
You can put your shoes over there.
Their shoes were dirty, so they left them outside.
They’re just walking around barefoot right now.
 To, too, and two
I am going to the mall.
Jesse said she wants to go too.
We are each looking for two new outfits.

40. Homonyms
 Weather and whether
The weather tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful.
I don’t know whether to go for a hike or a swim.
 Whose and who's
Whose scarf is this?
Who’s going to the movie with us?
 Your and you're
Your dog is bigger than my dog.
You’re going to have to keep him on a leash.

41. Check for Misused
Words
 Than and then
 There, their, and they're
 To, too, and two
 Weather and whether
 Whose and who's
 Your and you're

42. Writing Tips
 Write about literature in present tense
 Write about your experience in past tense
 Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and
“anything.”
 Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you”
unless it is in dialogue.

43. Surface Revision Strategies
Isolate Specific
Read Aloud Problems
 Reading the paper aloud slowly  Isolating specific problems
can often bring to attention large can help give objectivity to
and small mistakes missed in one's personal work. One
the writing and typing process. way to isolate specific issues
Read each sentence and ask
does it make sense? Is it is to circle them on a paper
awkward? Am I including words draft and look at them one by
that are not actually written on one. For example: circle all
the paper? Sometimes reading commas and then go back
the paper out of order can help and look at each comma
isolate problems. Try reading asking if it is in the
the paragraphs starting with the appropriate place with the
last sentence and then reading correct usage. Another
the previous sentence and so example would be to circle
on; this can reveal problems in
the sentences. all verbs and then go back
one by one and identify the
tense and verify subject verb
agreement.

44. HOMEWORK MAY 2/3
 Read: HG through chapter 16; SMG 134- 148
 Write: Edit Essay #2
 Journal #7: What is the appeal of reality TV? Do
you enjoy reality TV? If so, which ones and why?
How do our reality shows compare to the hunger
games? What do the similarities say about our
culture?
 Study: Vocabulary (1-16)
 Bring: Final draft of Essay #2; SMG