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5  minute  
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  course
Lesson  1	
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-
door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you
$800 to drop that towel.’
Lesson  1	
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few
seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?’
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?'
Lesson  1	
          Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with
 your shareholders in time, you
may be in a position to prevent
      avoidable exposure.
Lesson  2	
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.’

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. ’I want to be in
the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the world.’

Puff! She's gone.
Lesson  2	
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in
Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the
office after lunch.’
Lesson  2	
          Moral of the story:
Respect your boss. Let your boss
      have the first say.
Lesson  3	
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I
also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.
Lesson  3	
             Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you
 must be sitting very, very high up.
Note that in order to sit very high up,
  you’ll need to be strong enough
and have the knowledge and skills
            to be up there.
Lesson  4	
A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree'
sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?'
replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree.
Lesson  4	
The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
out of the tree.
Lesson  4	
           Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there… Your
 knowledge, skills, experience,
competency will be how you can
  sustain in a higher and higher
              position.
Lesson  5	
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped
some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he
began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing
for joy.
Lesson  5	
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him
out and ate him.
Lesson  5	
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is
your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of
shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep your mouth shut!

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The 5 minute management course

  • 2. Lesson  1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next- door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
  • 3. Lesson  1 After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?’ 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
  • 4. Lesson  1 Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
  • 5. Lesson  2 A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.’ 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. ’I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She's gone.
  • 6. Lesson  2 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
  • 7. Lesson  2 Moral of the story: Respect your boss. Let your boss have the first say.
  • 8. Lesson  3 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
  • 9. Lesson  3 Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Note that in order to sit very high up, you’ll need to be strong enough and have the knowledge and skills to be up there.
  • 10. Lesson  4 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
  • 11. Lesson  4 The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
  • 12. Lesson  4 Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there… Your knowledge, skills, experience, competency will be how you can sustain in a higher and higher position.
  • 13. Lesson  5 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
  • 14. Lesson  5 A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
  • 15. Lesson  5 Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!