1. Here’s the deal. This chapter is PANTS. Not in the way that I say every chapter is. This one really is. But I said I’d get it up tonight and I haven’t have enough time to- hell, I don’t have enough time to explain that either! Basically, this is purely to tell you who won. And [insert winner’s name here] I’m sorry the wedding is a little short but really Godric should be enough of a prize. ;D

2. Night fell on day 5. Guess what? I lost the hot tub pictures! “NO!” I hear you cry. “But they were so incredibly interesting and in no way full of shoehorned conversation last time!” I know, I know. But we’ll have to move on without every knowing how deeply stimulating that group date was. Ever since day 4 or so, the girls have become less sporting about this challenge. The lot jealously is turned off but they’re still giving each other mega-evils . Like so>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Although, I don’t know why Ani Mei is worried because Godric has been spending more time with her than anyone else. ^

3. “Mmmmm, has anyone ever told you that you look gorgeous when you’re cold Godric?” “Yes actually.” she stared at him. “Well it’s just that I get told that I’m gorgeous quite a lot so statically-” “Ok! But put some clothes on.” “That’s something I don’t get told very often.” “You must be freezing! “ Godric magically put his clothes on with lickity speed. *shifty eyes* “Why were you in swimwear anyway?” “Ooh y’know...” he replied vaguely. “Just taking a swim...” The luuurrrvvvee penguin, who was passing the window, coughed loudly.

4. For he knew that Godric hadn’t just been taking a swim. He knew because he’d been in the garden catching up with his pal the snowman at the time. “-so then the barman says ‘Well I wouldn’t call that a racoon!’ and then the bird flew away!”

5. Although Godric wasn’t really lying. He had taken a dip. “Er, Godric? You asked me to meet you here?” “WEEEEEE!!!!” “Godric?” “Hmm? Oh right! Give me a sec.”

6. A lady should be treated better. ‘Give me a sec’? The insolence of that boy. Why if I had 3 lovely ladies- ENOUGH pervy mammoth. But- Shhh! Godric is topless. Godric had reached the stage where he actually felt bad for dating 3 girls at once. They obviously knew what was going on. It was a Bachelor Challenge after all! But he was trying to be a little more sensitive about it.

7. DAY 6 Day 6 began with some early morning ‘accidental’ perving on Iris who had woken up nice and early to take over my simself’s role as chief Myshuno freak.

8. “Thanks for calling Mar, it hasn’t been the same since you and Des left....No, no one else has left yet... At 12...It’s 7:30...Well because the rules say the eviction has to be at 12... No I can’t hurry it along a bit! I know you’re eager to know but.... Because they’re rules that’s why!” “Hey did someone order a flamenco stripogram?” “Over here.” “Right then! Let’s get- What are you doing?”

9. “Oh. I’m sorry, I was just thinking about all the poor cows who died to make your shoes.” “What about that sofa you’re sitting on?” *GASP* Bethan leapt up. Pablo was very conscious of how close she was now standing. He cleared his throat. “uh, shall I get on with it then?” “Sssh, don’t talk.” “Err, I don’t under-” “Sssh. Now let me tell you about a friend of mine called Reggie Frinkle...”

10. In the small hours of the morning, (and I mean SMALL) Ani Mei continually rejected romantic interactions from Godric. “I’m sorry, but we’ve known each other properly for 6 days and during that time you’ve been romancing seven other girls.” “But that’s-” “I know that that’s the point of the challenge. But can you see why I don’t want to let myself fall in too deep? I could accept your interactions and fall hopelessly in love with you, but that wouldn’t mean that I’d come out of this as your fiancé does it? That’s obviously what I want, more than anything! But I’m just trying to stop-” “I understand perfectly Ani, the challenge rules do kind of take the romance out of it “And this way, if I win, everything will be more special for us.” “Because I won’t be hurrying off to do the same thing with someone else before noon?” “Exactly.”

11. Bethan and Iris on the other hand were well up for it! *MUMBLEMUMBLETARTS MUMBLEMUMBLE*

12. No one was more shocked than me when 12 o’clock rolled around and the relationship scores demanded that Ani Mei leave the bachelor pad. Seriously, I thought that that oddball Bethan had had it. *is punched by Bethan*Ow. “I told you it was better that I didn’t let myself completely fall for you didn’t I?” she laughed as she gave Godric a warm hug goodbye. “Yeah. I really will miss you y’know. “Don’t worry! I’ll hang out with you and the missus all the time!” “Won’t that be awkward?” “Nah, Lauren told me that other Lauren- y’knowThe Voice- is going to set our relationship scores so that we’re all friends but there aren’t any potentially plot destroying crushes around” “So you’ll be at the wedding then?” “of course I will. I’ll be the one shouting ‘I OBJECT!’ ... “Kidding” “Oh right, yeah. I knew that....”

13. Awww., Ani Mei left and took her elf ear genes with her! >.< But let’s not be Nazi about this! There’ll be no eugenics here I say! *shakes fist*

14. Which of course means that Iris and Bethan were our two finalists. Off to the hot tub then! Time’s a wastin’. “The hot tub again?” Yes Godric, the hot tub again. I don’t like it because it’s boring to watch, you don’t like it because it makes you go all prunelike and I’m sure Iris and Bethan don’t enjoy sitting in pleasantly warm and bubbly water with a hot naked sim, but the rules say we will just have to endure it. “You can’t argue with the rules Godric. Isn’t that right Iris?” “Oh definitely not. Rules are rules!”

15. There was at least lots of playful splashing in the final hot tub group date of the challenge. It was very difficult to tell who was ahead at this stage. What’s that? Yes that was past tense. I ‘m way ahead of you, I know who’s won. And you’re just going to have to keep on clicking!

16. Don’t worry, I put them both in the same dress. It’s not some hideously awkward coincidence. I just felt the urge to make them spend the rest of their time in matching dresses and let them perform ritualistic synchronised smustling. They became so absorbed in perfecting their mad smustling skillz that they temporarily forgot that they were supposed to be frantically interacting with Godric.

17. “I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20 so come on and bring your duke box money! The love shack is a little old place where we can get together. Love shack baby! HEY!” “Huggin’ and a kissin’ dancin’ and a- IRIS!” Bethan stopped suddenly. “What?!” “HE COMES!” “What?” “Oooooh. He’s so dreamy when he runs...”

18. Godric skidded to a halt, panting for breath. “I fell asleep in the hammock! Do you have any idea how much making out we have to do by tomorrow?!” “Errr, a lot?” Bethan suggested hopefully. “Damn straight! You wait here and practise puckering. I’ll get started on Iris.” “Okilydokily!”

19. So Bethan waited patiently, completely oblivious to the concepts of privacy and personal space. “Dum de dum...” But she got there in the end. “ I’ve suddenly become aware that this is excruciatingly embarrassing! I must leave at once!”

20. And the last rule ordered kiss/flirt session yielded mutual floating love hearts. Iris knew that she was so close now. He loved her and she loved him. Surely this meant that she had as good as won?

21. But she didn’t dare get her hopes up too much. It wasn’t as if Bethan was completely out of the running. All three sims got very little sleep on that last night of the challenge. By the same time tomorrow, two of them would be engaged.

22. DAY 7 Godric took an extra long, extra cold shower that morning in an attempt to blast some sense into himself. This whole challenge was decided on his feelings. The girl he liked best would win. Really, he had nothing to worry about. But he couldn’t figure out how he felt. His head was a mess. He wished he could check his relationship scores like The Voice could.

23. Noon rolled around.This was it. I’m guessing you’d like to see who’s won? Well go on then!

24. OOPS! That’s not the result is it? That’s a picture I accidently took of Iris’s hair from inside her. Weird huh? Anyway! Sorry! Please press on.

25. So here we have two hugs. One is a ‘sorry you’re leaving’ hug and the other is a ‘I’m so happy that we’re spending our lives together’ hug. Can you guess which is which? I bet you can.* *They’re not as ambivalent as I had hoped they would be.

26. That’s right! Well done! Bethan is the runner up of this Marmite Legacy Bachelor challenge! I hope you agree that she’s kept us entertained with her spatula antics. She also provided lots of very funny shots where she was lurking eerily in the background whilst Godric flirted with someone else although most of these were unfortunately unusable. Anyway! Goodbye Bethan! WHICH MEANS THAT...

27. The fabulous Iris is the winner of the bachelor challenge and, consequently, Godric’s fiancé! Hopefully she’ll bring a touch of the Discworlds to the Marmite Legacy!

28. It was 4.00pm and, after an afternoon of solid smooching, Godric and Iris planned to make a toast to their future out in the garden. But they didn’t count on Jacques the skunk dropping by. JACQUES ^ “hey Iris!” Godric called. “Iris come quick! There’s a skunk out here! Are you some relation of the lurve penguin? He’s black and white and drops in unexpectedly too. Do you have a message from him for us?”

29. “Yeah,” the skunk sneered in reply. “I’ve got a message for yeh lover boy. But it ain’t from no love bird.” “That’s from me old pal the mammoth! Not so irresistible now are ya?” snickering to himself, Jacques strutted away leaving Godric stumbling around as the spray stung his eyes.

30. Once he had showered (and using one of the nice non conspiratorial indoor ones) Godric returned to his fiancé who had only just recovered from the hysterical laughter that had started when she arrived outside just in time to see Godric slip in some water that had mysteriously appeared in front of the mammoth and topple backwards over a railing. “Here’s to a fantastic future and the girl of my dreams.” “and the power of fangirlism!” added Iris. “I’ll drink to that!” Godric went to take a sip but Iris wasn’t finished. “And to cologne that can overpower skunk spray!” Godric gave her a playful glare. “But mostly,” Iris continued, “To love that can overcome any stink. “You mean that?” “With all my heart.”

31. So this was of course the natural moment for the formal proposal (although really the engagement was always a given) Naturally, Iris accepted and all was bliss until Godric went into aspiration failure. Although I keep forgetting it, he is of course a romance sim! So even though he’s head over heels for Iris and rolled the ‘marry Iris’ want...

32. ... He ended up making crazy faces on the floor. Incidently, these are potentially my favourite Godric pics EVER. Or as an adult at least. He’s so gorgeous when he’s crazy. *sigh*

33. Godric had been worried about this happening and had discussed it with Iris who immediately realised what was going on and enlisted professional help. Oh it’s no use doctor. Cart him off to the loony bin then! It’s so tragic really. He’s completely gaga. “Uh, I don’t think he is. Just a simple aspiration failure case.” “Yeah! Shut it tusks! Can you help him Doc?” “Oh I should say so. Now Godric, you want to marry miss Iris, correct? And have a long and happy marriage?” Godric nodded, wiping a splatter of drool from his chin. “Right, I think an aspiration change is in order. I’m not really supposed to do them...but my daughter is a huge fan of your band and-well, that is if you could-” “Autographs, backstage passes, gig tickets and a signed guitar.” Iris said as Godric did some kind of wild head movement that she took to be a nod. “Ah, excellent. Right then. How does being a pleasure sim sound?”

34. “Hey there future Mrs Marmite.” “I forgot about that weird last name of yours. Well I suppose I can put up with it, for you” *cough* “Hey, we’re allowed to be naff and cheesy! It’s one of the privileges of being newly engaged.” “Yeah Iris is right, and you know what one of the other privileges is?” He winked and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Iris laughed. “I think I have some idea...”

35. So that’s the end of the BC but only the beginning of generation H. Hold tight, we’re going to apparate through space AND time to get to the wedding. But we could have a bumpy landing.

36. “Whoa! Watch it!” Sorry Dr. Death! Am I in time for the wedding? “it’s just starting, you’ve missed the vows and such like.” Oh no! What were they like? “Oh y’know... I thank the gods for bringing you to me, I’ll always love you, you make me feel like dancing, come as you are, don’t you go changing to try and please me you’ve never let me down before... Blah blah.”

38. I’m sorry but I really really have to whizz through all of this if I’m going to get it uploaded tonight. I’m sorry.

39. Let’s say thanks to the BC contestants. Maryse My simself Maia Lucy Ani Mei

40. Not forgetting the guests who weren’t interested in the wedding! Desdemona Bethan

41. And here’s a slide to caption yourself. I thought it had the potential to be pretty funny but not the time to make it so.  I wouldn’t have left this chapter in such a state but I stupidly promised to have it up tonight. (my computer decided that it just had to run disk checks- TWICE. Thanks if you stuck with it and double thanks if you donated a sim!