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Agenda ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Hand of the Lord
Koinonia Connection PAST Here is something about my past that would help you  know me better DEFINING    A difficult life experience which  MOMENT   helped me grow as a person   was.. VALUES Here’s what I stand for… Ask follow up, onion peeling questions X Information + Feelings Information Only X
The Difficult Discussion ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],15
Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which you  come out from behind yourself into the  conversation and make it real.   robust intense    strong powerful    passionate eager    unbridled uncurbed   by Susan Scott 15
The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that  it can be interrogated. Everyone’s! 15
Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling… they do not feel their way into a new way of acting.  16
1. “You”   Listen to understand 2. “Me”   Ask… then present 3. “It”   Brainstorm solutions     (What’s right, not who’s right?) 4. “Us”   Agree to who will do what by    when… and set date to        inspect what you expect Difficult Discussions 101 16
Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get  the Facts One Minute Intro  “ You” “Me”  “It”  “Us” Inspect  What  You  Expect Results  Relationships Trust 16
Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get  the Facts One Minute Intro  “ You” “Me”  “It”  “Us” Inspect  What  You  Expect Results  Relationships Trust “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us? Enlarged on next slide ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],17
One Minute Intro ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],17
“ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?
Dealing with the KANI’s of  Life and Ministry ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],What are the Issues?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Tpr Difficult Discussions

  • 1.  
  • 2.
  • 3. Hand of the Lord
  • 4. Koinonia Connection PAST Here is something about my past that would help you know me better DEFINING A difficult life experience which MOMENT helped me grow as a person was.. VALUES Here’s what I stand for… Ask follow up, onion peeling questions X Information + Feelings Information Only X
  • 5.
  • 6. Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real. robust intense strong powerful passionate eager unbridled uncurbed by Susan Scott 15
  • 7. The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that it can be interrogated. Everyone’s! 15
  • 8. Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling… they do not feel their way into a new way of acting. 16
  • 9. 1. “You” Listen to understand 2. “Me” Ask… then present 3. “It” Brainstorm solutions (What’s right, not who’s right?) 4. “Us” Agree to who will do what by when… and set date to inspect what you expect Difficult Discussions 101 16
  • 10. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get the Facts One Minute Intro “ You” “Me” “It” “Us” Inspect What You Expect Results Relationships Trust 16
  • 11.
  • 12.
  • 13. “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?
  • 14.
  • 15.  
  • 16.  
  • 17.  
  • 18.  
  • 19.  
  • 20.  
  • 21.  

Notas do Editor

  1. Have each participant individually identify a difficult discussion he/she has been putting off. Why do we procrastinate when it comes to having the difficult discussion?
  2. Discuss Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversations.
  3. Discuss what it means to “get reality out on the table.”
  4. Discuss the impact of emotions as it relates to leadership. Discuss “praxis” – the idea of choosing your actions to effectively change your feelings. Give illustrations. Discuss leadership applications.
  5. Discuss a four-step approach to having a difficult discussion. Reinforce the Farmer Brown/Farmer Jones exercise as it relates to Step 1. Reinforce the Seven Habits teaching of “empathic listening” as it relates to information plus emotion.
  6. Discuss the other aspects of a difficult discussion…investigation, invitation and follow up. Exchange best practices for effective follow up after the difficult discussion takes place.
  7. Discuss the importance of a strategic one minute introduction before the actual dialogue ever takes place.