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Everybody Loves Bertie, Chapter 13
1. To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge,
created by princedeej28. The point of the challenge is to
romance more than one Sim and earn enough points to make
Hugh Hefner jealous.
Last time, I let my Sims run pretty much autonomously and
much to my embarrassment, they racked up more points than I
had the rotation before. We also had our first death – Professor
Arianna Miguel – which means that the end is nigh, although
not in this episode.
Now that you’re all caught up, on with the story!
2. This time around, I decided to try a modified Obey Your Sims
handicap. With Obey Your Sims, you try to fulfill a minimum
of one Want per day. I locked the highest-scoring achievable
Want each morning and tried to fulfill it by the end of they day.
So Corey’s Want to Have Ten Best Friends Within The Next
Twenty-Four Hours Even Though I Currently Only Have Seven
Friends Total was not fulfilled, but Buy A Car was.
This car will not be used for woohoo purposes.
3. Vanessa’s Want for Woohoo was more readily achieved.
Please note that it did not involve a car.
4. I couldn’t resist taking the opportunity to rack up a few more
points while I was at it.
5. And in fact, it was that sequence of events that got Bertie and
Vanessa back in love with each other.
(rolls eyes) Romance Sims.
6. What with one thing and another, Bertie’s Want to Meet
Someone New didn’t get filled on the first day. It remained the
highest-scoring achievable Want the second day, since Bertie
has the sense to keep his hands off people who are already
spoken for. Fortunately, hiring a maid helped.
BERTIE: So how do you wike youw job? I bet you get a wot of
big tips.
DON PLATZ, THE MAID: See, the thing about Man Maid
Lust? It’s fiction. I just clean inanimate objects.
BERTIE (flustered): Oh no, I think you misundewstood me…!
DON PLATZ, THE MAID: I don’t. If you’ll excuse me, sir? I
have three more rooms to do on this side of the hallway.
7. Corey’s Social meter tanked overnight – I’m sure there was
some perfectly valid reason, but I forget what it was. When the
Social Bunny showed up, I figured that was a good chance to
clear up the Social meter and take care of Corey’s high-scoring
Meet Someone New.
Somehow, Social Bunnies don’t count.
8. They do, however, inspire other people to express concern for
the affected Sim.
BERTIE: Cowey, awe you okay? You’we tawking to thin aiw.
COREY: No, I’m not. I’m talking to my friend Harvey.
BERTIE: Hawvey? Cowey, how’s youw Sociaw metew?
COREY: Really pretty, actually. I’ve never seen it red before.
BERTIE: (hugs Corey) I’m so sowwy! I shouwd have noticed –
I showdn’t have wet it get so bad!
9. BERTIE: Wet’s see if we can’t make that nasty owd wabbit go
away, shaww we?
12. While the Social Bunny didn’t count as Meet Someone New,
possible-mayor Abhijeet St. Julien, who came home from work
with Corey did.
Theoretically, Corey is an architect, but since I don’t have Free
Time, he’s actually in the Politics career track. He topped it
some time ago, which means that everyone he brings home is
dressed like a mayor, even if they aren’t one. I didn’t ask Mr.
St. Julien what his actual rank was.
On day three of the rotation, Corey’s high-scoring reasonable
want was to become Best Friends with Mr. St. Julien, but I
wasn’t able to manage that for him.
13. On the other hand, relations with Albert and Buttercup have
improved again, to the point where the youngsters will invite
themselves over for a visit.
VANESSA: Albert! Oh, it’s so good to see you! It’s been too
long! How are you?
ALBERT: I am well, thank you, Mother. It looks like you are
well too, judging by your outfit. What are you doing now?
VANESSA: I can’t tell you. It’s T-O-P S-E-C-R-E-T.
ALBERT: I have a college degree, Mother. I know how to
spell.
VANESSA: Oh. Whoops.
14. All in all, with the Obey Your Sims handicap in place, Vanessa
was the one who made out best benefited the most.
VANESSA: Hi, Zenon. What are you up to?
ZENON: Oh, nothing. (sighs) Time was, when I couldn’t quiet
my thoughts down and sleep Arianna would get up and talk to
me. She was good at quieting things down. I miss her so much.
15. VANESSA: Well, you know, Zenon, there are other ways to
turn off those pesky thoughts of yours.
ZENON: There are?
VANESSA: Uh-huh. And you know, I’ve always thought you
were kind of cute?
ZENON: Really?
16. And bam! Two Loves At Once, completed!
Not that Vanessa has any intention of following through, and
Zenon isn’t particularly interested in specific people either.
Which is fine by me, since I get no points for interactions that
don’t involve Bertie.
Speaking of whom…
17. Vanessa and Bertie woke up early on day three, and I decided
to get Vanessa’s generic Woohoo Want out of the way nice and
early to leave the day free for other things.
And also get Bertie’s Flirt Want out of the way while I was at
it. I’m lazy, which means that I’m quite efficient.
19. COREY (impatiently): Bertie? Vanessa? How often do I have
to remind you about being quiet?
VANESSA: Sorry, Corey.
COREY: Really, Bertie, you make millions of dollars. How
hard would it be to have someone soundproof this room?
BERTIE: Sowwy, Cowey.
COREY: I already get up to pee twice a night. I really don’t
think that asking for silence during the few hours I’m actually
able to sleep is asking too much.
VANESSA: Sorry, Corey.
BERTIE: Sowwy, Corey.
I was not able to get the picture of Corey attempting to slap
Bertie, but believe me, he did his best.
20. And in the evening, the number of Sims in the household
decreased by one.
GRIM REAPER: .r. .and..s, s.r? Co… .ou .ig. .y ..urgl…? I.. a
.ug. fa..*
*“Mr. Sanders, sir? Could you sign my hourglass? I’m a huge fan.”
21. Gerard Sanders, age unknown due to a glitchy lifebar that
reflected the information for whatever Sim I’d looked at
previously. Although Gerard was something of a wheeler-
dealer in his youth, he calmed down and became a steady,
reliable, and largely ignored member of the household. As a
bass player, this is not exactly out of character: bass players
don’t get enough recognition either. Gerard and Beverly
decided to forgo children, opting instead for a one-seventh
share each in Little Bertie.
Rest in peace, Gerard.
22. And that is all for this time around. I’ll see you next time.
Score for this round
Assorted romantic interactions x 6: 30
Woohoo x 1: 30
Got caught at woohoo x 1: -40
TOTAL: 20
Score as of last round: 550
GRAND TOTAL: 570
Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime)
Bertie > Corey: 98/98. Married.
Bertie > Vanessa: 98/98. Best friends. Love.
Corey > Bertie: -72/-59. Married. Portrait is 15/16 red.
Corey > Vanessa: -6/11. Portrait is 7/8 red.
Vanessa > Bertie: 98/98. Best friends. Love.
Vanessa > Corey: 76/76.
Vanessa > Zenon: 96/96. Best Friends. Love. Two bolts.