Relationships are one of the biggest influencers of our actions, behaviours, insights, opinions and development. All living creatures have relationships with other entities in their environment and human beings have relationships with other humans, animals, tools, their physical surroundings and, importantly, with their personal self. It is our ability to influence, develop and manage these relationships which will determine how successful we are in shaping our world, achieving our objectives and making a difference through our lives. This paper explores how gamification strategies can be developed to improve or strengthen our ability to influence others and explores the role that enabling technologies such as the internet of things, big data, cloud computing and social media will play in shaping the future of business and society. This paper refers to concepts explained in more detail in the “Gamification and Enabling Technologies White Paper” available for download at :- http://www.slideshare.net/dwortley/gamification-and-enabling-technologies-white-paper.

1. Gamification and Enabling Technologies in Relationships
David Wortley
CEO and Founder GAITSS, Gamification and Immersive Technologies Strategic Solutions,
6E Coriander Road, Leicester, UK
E-mail: david@gaitss.net
Keywords: Gamification, Relationships, Enabling Technologies, Future of Society, Social
Engineering, Leadership
Abstract. Relationships are one of the biggest influencers of our actions, behaviours, insights,
opinions and development. All living creatures have relationships with other entities in their
environment and human beings have relationships with other humans, animals, tools, their physical
surroundings and, importantly, with their personal self. It is our ability to influence, develop and
manage these relationships which will determine how successful we are in shaping our world,
achieving our objectives and making a difference through our lives. This paper explores how
gamification strategies can be developed to improve or strengthen our ability to influence others and
explores the role that enabling technologies such as the internet of things, big data, cloud computing
and social media will play in shaping the future of business and society. This paper refers to concepts
explained in more detail in the “Gamification and Enabling Technologies White Paper” available for
download at :- http://www.slideshare.net/dwortley/gamification-and-enabling-technologies-white-
paper.
1. Introduction
From the moment life begins in the womb, relationships play a crucial role in our development and
our ability to survive and prosper. Life begins with a relationship in which our development is not

2. only dependent on the mother, but also, directly or indirectly, with a network of other human beings
and entities over which we have no control. The interactions between human beings, the environment
and the genetic origins of our body eventually reach the point where we are born into what must be a
strange, alien environment after the comfort of the womb and after nine months in a “game” of
complex interactions has been played out, we enter the world and begin our journey and quest to
become an independent living creature.
Almost immediately the trauma of birth is over, we have our first experience of a “game” in
which we are “encouraged” to exercise our lungs and start to breathe by being held upside
down and given a smack on the buttocks. The reward for successful completion of this task is
to be reunited with the warmth of the human being who has been responsible for our
development inside the womb.
From this moment onwards, viewed through the perspective of the gamification lens, our
development is a process in which we start by relying on our genetic animal instincts to
explore and interact with our world but gradually, through this process, we begin to develop
the gamification skills which equip us with the tools to shape and influence the actions,
behaviours, opinions and responses not only of other human beings, but also of all manner of
objects, artefacts, entities and other living creatures.
3. Relationships, Reciprocity and Balance – the importance of the win-win
strategy
It is my contention that the genetic make-up of every living creature contains the motivation
to explore, understand and control its world. The Gamification cycle illustrates the
continuous nature of a process which begins with a challenge or identified need leading to a
response, measurement of the impact, feedback and an element of learning and development
which then helps to refine future actions. In understanding how this impacts relationships, it

3. is important to recognise that as far as relationships with other living creatures is concerned,
reciprocity and balance are very key to development strategies.
Anyone interacting with a baby cannot fail to get the impression that they are keenly
observing you and will react to your expressions or voices. This “game” we play with babies
is our attempt to get a positive reaction from the baby for our own satisfaction and feeling of
a connection or bond but babies also judge from our responses what kind of reaction they get
from adults when they smile or cry or express their feelings in other ways. This reciprocity
reflects the nature of the balance of a relationship and the importance of a win-win outcome
in any relationship. Relationships which are based on win-lose outcomes are neither effective
nor healthy but such relationships are all too common and destructive to our development as
individuals and a society.
3. Impact of Technology on Relationships - The Disruptive Shift from
Hierarchies to Networks
Our natural and genetic instinct to use gamification as a tool to influence and manage our world is
essentially based on hierarchical development. We start our lives at the base of a pyramid in which we
are not only dependent on those “above” us (meaning more developed and having higher levels of

4. influence or control) in the hierarchy, but we also, in the gamification of our lives, continually strive
to get to the next level, inspired and influenced by those above. We observe and learn from a whole
spectrum of our relationships what our capabilities are and develop response strategies to the world
around us to have some control or impact.
Today’s technologies have had a major and disruptive impact on relationships of all kinds through the
process of “disintermediation” which removes intermediate layers in the hierarchy and creates a more
networked structure in which there is apparent equality and a variety of interconnections that are not
based on hierarchical levels. This, together with the fact that every individual in this global digital
society is able to communicate and theoretically influence infinitely more human beings than ever
before is a major challenge, not only to relationships but also to the sustainability of existing social
structures. We are in essence the most connected society in history but paradoxically, because of the
weakening of bonds, the most disconnected society in history.
Digital Natives
Another critical manifestation of the impact of technology is the emergence of “digital natives” or
“Generation Y” who, through their natural gamification instincts and the availability of highly
intuitive, interactive and engaging technologies develop their gamification skills far more quickly than
ever before and where previously they would have been influenced by the greater authority and
aptitude of an older human being, their ability to use technology quickly overtakes those people who
would have been at a higher level in the hierarchy, creating challenges to authority and some of the
problems we now see in education.
Amongst the consequences of this shift to a networked society is the loss of leadership structures
which are a natural part of hierarchies but are absent in networked structures. This may be responsible
for what I see as a shift from an internal locus of control (in which individuals feel in control of their
future) to an external locus of control (in which individuals feel their actions make no difference). If
this is true, it is a potentially dangerous development for society because it reflects a disconnection
between power to act and a responsibility for your actions.

5. I believe that one of the most important values of gamification strategies and enabling technologies is
to develop essential leadership skills based on the facilitation of win-win relationships within a
networked structure as a basis for a sustainable future.
4. The Importance of Paradox in Relationships
The Accessible Inaccesible
One of the most important characteristics in the use of gamification strategies is the notion of the
paradox as an essential element in effective gamification. Games development companies are very
familiar with the need to balance the accessibility of gameplay with the inaccessibility of complete
mastery. The most successful games are those which users can get involved with very quickly without
a steep learning curve but are constantly challenged to reach an ultimate mastery which is always just
beyond reach.
This idea of a paradox in relationships has nothing to do with technology but is reflected by such
notions as “tough love” which I have heard described as the reason why a particular teacher had been
the biggest influence in someone’s development. This notion of tough love may seem at first glance in
conflict with “unconditional love” but the two ideals can be perfectly aligned. In any relationship
“easy love” in which love is given freely to anyone without reciprocity and balance does not bring
sustainability or respect. Many loving families who have given their children everything they wanted
without any discipline or rules to guide them have discovered they have raised monsters who believe
everything is a right without any responsibility to earn those rights.
5. Enabling Technologies and Relationships
It was very tempting to head this section “Disabling Technologies” and relationships because,
paradoxically, those technologies that have been most closely identified with building new
relationships in cyberspace are actually responsible for eroding the quality and effectiveness of
relationships in shaping a sustainable future. I have personally experienced both the benefits and
downsides of technologies such as internet dating sites and social media sites, both of which are
intended to facilitate the basic human need to build relationships which help us to shape our future.
Conceptually this is done by using artificial intelligence and “pattern matching” technologies to
connect people with similar interests together and whilst there any plenty of examples of people who
have formed mutually productive and sustainable relationships, all too often the accessibility and
attractiveness of new opportunities via the internet dilutes the strength and value of the kinds of
sustainable relationships we need as a society.

6. The A Team – Authority, Aptitude, Ambition, Alignment, Adjacency, Associates, Awareness,
Affectedness, Activation, Attractiveness, Accessibility, Affordability
If technologies are to become genuinely enabling to relationship development, my approach is to use
the Gamification cycle to explore ways in which technology can support the development of my “A
Team” attributes in each and every part of the cycle. This idea goes way beyond the use of “badges”,
rewards and incentives as tools for motivation but critically examines the human factors that influence
relationships to see how technology either supports or dilutes their effectiveness.
I believe that the greatest potential for the use of technology in the gamification of relationships is in
the measurement and feedback parts of the cycle. Good relationships depend on good communication
and feedback that reinforce effective actions and penalise or reveal ineffective actions, leading to
continuous learning and development and more balance within a relationship
.
6. Conclusions
We all depend on our ability to develop and manage relationships with other entities in our lives,
whether they be family, friends, business associates, pets, our home or the plethora of technologies we
take for granted today. The strength and nature of these relationships is vital to a sustainable society
and the profound impact of the disruptive technologies we rely on daily is undoubtedly creating many
problems for relationships of all kinds.
It is very important to better understand how the genetic animal instinct to use gamification to shape
the world around us can harness and shape technology as a power for good. Gamification in
relationships is an age-old practice which I have heard described as “benign manipulation” but
enabling technologies used in the gamification of relationships to develop the skills to influence
others can be used for both good and evil purposes. I believe we need to seriously consider how we
shape their use for ethical purposes to the benefit of all mankind. Gamification, with our without
enabling technologies, as a process to develop the leadership skills needed in today’s networked
society can make an important contribution to a sustainable future.

7. About the Author
www.gadgetstogodbook.com
David Wortley is the author of “Gadgets to God”, a historical perspective of mankind’s changing relationship
with technology over the last 60 years and a vision of the future impact of disruptive communications
technologies on business and society. He is also a freelance consultant on the strategic use of immersive and
emerging technologies such as serious games, virtual worlds and social networks. His passion is helping
organisations and individuals to leverage the power of these technologies for competitive advantage and
business/personal development.
David is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts (FRSA) with a career which has embraced the converging and
emerging technologies of telecommunications (Post Office Telecommunications), computing (IBM), digital
media and community informatics (Mass Mitec, a rural SME) and the creative industries (De Montfort
University Leicester, UK). He is a serial entrepreneur and innovator with a passion for applying technology to
social and economic development
Web Site: www.gaitss.net
Email: david@gaitss.net