Dr. M David Kurland believes that when you allow Adolescents to form their own values, and when you nourish their curiosities, that is when results such as good health and good grades will, in time, come to fruition.
As a friendly reminder, and a message of peace, Dr. M David Kurland brings up the old adage, "Don't put the cart before the horse", to mean good grades and good health are ends, to achieve these ends, one should allow the individual to discover and nurture his or her own strengths and interests, and from their the rest, with good guidance, will simply be a consequence.
Good Stuff Happens in 1:1 Meetings: Why you need them and how to do them well
Adolescent Psychiatry: Health and Grades Will Come, First Focus on the Individual
1. Individuality is easiest when pressure is based on
an individual's own goals.!
Developing the Values of an Individual should bring
out the Best in any Adolescent.!
Anxiety and uneasiness is more often than not a
common experience in youth. Well anxiety could be
considered an inevitability for anyone and
everyone, prolonged anxiety, for long periods of
time, can be debilitating or taxing in one's daily life.!
!
Anxiety is not a necessary addition to life, though it
can be hard to avoid, or hard to deal with when it
strikes. In the life of an adolescent, anxiety can
affect health, grades, and most importantly, a child
or adolescent's sense of well being. Paradoxically
enough, Anxiety at this age can ofter be a
consequence of grades, while it is a surefire way to
affect grades themselves.!
!
At this point in an individual's life, the adolescent
must reconcile with changes in themselves, changes in their peers and social groups, and this
stretch of the journey of life is often considered the most difficult, or the most riddled with stress
and anxiety.!
!
A common theme for individuals at this point in life, is a feeling that something is missing. True,
that at the age of adolescence, the child is no longer an offshoot of his parents, but an
independent entity who, whether or not actively or not, has a dormant desire to actualize this
break, or an inner battle in which the individual must reconcile with the inevitability of this break
if it causes anxiety or is unwanted. This "loss' in itself is a legitimate experience as a part of the
individuals coming of age.!
!
How does this manifest in the life of an adolescent? It is as if each individual shoots off in their
own direction at the point of puberty. While it was once a closer feeling of unity amongst the
individual child and his or her peers before puberty, the individualization which occurs (or has
not yet occurred for some) sends adolescents on their own paths to self discovery, on a journey
to define themselves.!
!
The real question, is how can we assist
these individuals, how can we as a
community help, and contribute to their
becoming their own selves? It is my every
joy and pleasure to be able to offer council
and direction to youth, to guide them on this
journey, and help each individual in the
process.!
!
What isn't always clear for every person in
the adolescent stage of life is what
decisions can really define!
2. !
Guitar can be one of many talents and focusses of an Adolescent Individual.!
The Variety of Skills and Expertise from each Individual is a True Joy.!
them, and how the impact of time and patience can truly benefit them in their individualization. It
is not my duty or responsibility to impose a system of values on anyone, rather, I've found
myself a listener, who through empathy and experience with so many others, can lead others to
help themselves- to determine where their real interests and goals lay, to allow those individuals
to realize these pathways and modes of thought which will inspire them, on their own, to make
those "educated" decisions and life choices.!
!
In a time and community which wants the best for its children, where "the best" is often
measured by grades, school performance, and similar gauges from the adult perspective, and
an entirely different lens for the youth themselves, it is one of the most difficult things for an
adolescent individual to balance.!
!
The weight may seem as if it is all on their shoulders, like no one understands their struggle, or
that their peers and their family, and the posters on the side of the street all want to fit them into
some category that simply doesn't resonate with them. And how are those individuals to know
that the values by which they themselves feel judged are not the only values on which to judge,
and are perhaps not the best values for them individually?!
!
Though the end results of health and grades (and such things) are desirable things in the life of
any individual, it is important to remember "not to put the cart before the horse". With focus on
what primes and defines an individual, discovering what their values are and focussing on and
developing those areas, the other end wonderfuls of life should have an easier time coming to
be.