Be your Own Valentine!

February 2014

Inside: Self-love and Valentine Gifts
Instantly downloadable

Butterfly You!

Emerge! Express your Unique Gifts in the world

Article

SHANNON R. RIOS
Are you single?
8 ideas on
how to
celebrate
St. Valentine

Poem
I am

JULIE-ANNE
SHAPIRO

Ode to
your
Sacred Self
MISA HOPKINS

Are you Facing Illness?
Love can Help You!

VALENTINE ART

BY

Inspirational Article
Single?
Want Soulmate?
Married?

Love Yourself Unconditionally
Romance Life Openly
Receive Love Tenderly

Go from Caterpillar You to Butterfly You!
You were born
to delight
the world with
the beauty
of your Essence.

Emerge in your true colors.
Express your unique gifts in the world.
Join the MagicMark your Life Community
Your Life-creation Daily Toolkit
Manifest your dreams > Embody your Purpose > Express your gifts

Click here to Join our FREE community!

IN THIS ISSUE

I Am
Ode to your Sacred Self
Illustrated poem by Maria Mar
This poem inspires you to name your gifts and value as an
exercise to increase self-love. Includes writing instructions.
Page 6

Guest Articles

Includes a
Valentine Gift!

Julie-Anne Shapiro

5 Top Things to Attract and Keep
Your Valentine
Valentine Day is here. If you’re single this may fill you with
dread as you contemplate yet another year watching couples
celebrating together while you wonder when your true love will
come along. Here’s what to do instead to have a great
Valentine day and attract your Valentine for the rest of your
wonderful life. Page 11
Shannon R. Rios

Be your own valentine! 8 ideas
on how to celebrate St. Valentine

Includes a
Valentine Gift
and a discount!

There’s a reason that Self-love Day comes before Valentine
Day! Your soulmate is out there, but he (or she) is a Sacred
Mirror to you. Therefore, in this Valentine, don’t sulk, complain
or ignore the whole subject. Instead, use these 8 ideas to be
your own Valentine and ignite your sensuality, self-love and
delight. Give yourself the love you want your soulmate to give
you, and you will attract the love you desire. Page 16

www.dreamalchemist.com

2

Not perfect? Love yourself as you are!
Misa Hopkins

Are you facing Illness?
Love can help you!

Includes
Valentine
Gift and
Selfhealing
resources!

You don’t have to be perfect to love yourself. What if you are ill? Healing is a
spiritual journey but we often feel so much pain and frustration that instead of
receiving the lessons and growth in our healing we become bitter and cranky, and
end up abusing ourselves and others who want to love and support us through it.
I’m so grateful to best selling author Rev. Misa Hopkins, a breakthrough healing
coach, for this article on how to bring love to yourself and others if you are going
through an illness or physical limitation right now. Find out how love and kindness
are part of your healing toolkit. Page 20

Featured Inspirational Article
Maria Mar

Single?
Love Yourself unconditionally
Want Soulmate?
Romance Life Openly
Married?
Receive Love Tenderly

3

Whether you are happily single, manifesting a
soulmate or happily married but in need of revamping
your love life, there are three powerful alchemical
actions you need to do to in order to be a love magnet!
In my life as a Wise Woman I’ve lived and loved deeply.
I’ve also struggled with wounds that steal love both
from myself and from my beloved. In this article, I go
to the deepest well of love and wisdom within me to
reveal the three alchemical actions essential for your
love life… and to have a life you love! Page 26


Bonus
Article!

Julie-Anne Shapiro

You Want his Love!
Sure, but are you Ready
to RECEIVE it?
One of the gifts of the Sacred Feminine is the Art of Receiving. You heard right!
Receiving is a power and an art. Many of us are great at giving and at praying for
what we want. But we are not ready to receive it. Get ready to receive love with this
bonus article by Julie-Ann Shapiro. Page 38
VALENTINE ART BY

Tanya Torres

Featured Art

I’m doing Julie-Anne’s 14-day “Attract Your Valentine” Boot
Camp to attract my soulmate this year. She recommends to
place images of loving couples in your home and environment.

What a great idea! I’ve added this sensual art created by my
best friend and Goddess artist Tanya Torres. I invite you to do
the same. This piece is called Eros & Psyche.
See Back cover for link to purchase this art.

This magazine is published by

ShamansDance Publishing & Productions
Like the shamans of old, we dance, tell stories and create
ceremonies of transformation that empower women and
their communities to release fear and limitations and express
their beautiful essence, tapping into their full potential. The
Dream Alchemist is one of our sites.
219 E 97th Street, New York, NY 10029, USA
Tel. 715-303-7326
Email: maria@shamansdance.com


4

Editorial
This Valentine Issue inspires you
to infuse your psyche and your life with
the magic of love, starting with selflove. It helps you with the alchemy of
igniting love as part of a romantic
couple or magnetizing your soulmate.

Maria Mar

Love requires an almost mystical balance. The balance between self-love and love
for your beloved is perhaps the fundamental one; and many women suck at it because
we’ve been indoctrinated to be selfless. Shannon’s article and mine help you to sustain
the self-love essential to enjoy a healthy relationship. The balance between giving our
best and accepting our limitations is often challenged by our belief that we need to be
perfect. Misa’s article helps you confront illness from a place of love. The third
balance we address is between giving and receiving. Here again modern Western
women have been indoctrinated into being independent by not receiving (while still
giving excessively) and then told that we are assertive when we pursue a man. This
combination is a recipe for exhaustion. Julie-Anne’s two articles help you restore this
balance by magnetizing a man instead of pursuing him and receiving instead of
constantly giving. With these three balances in place, you have a good chance in love!

Find Maria in Social Media

TIPS
Download this magazine and schedule the reading into your
calendar so that you take advantage of each article.
To print: Select the “Scale to fit paper” option, as magazine is
10X13 size.

5


I Am…

Ode to Your Sacred Self

By Maria Mar
Every year for my birthday I
write an Ode to my Sacred
Self and entitle it “I Am.” It
is a ceremony to name my
deepest, truer self and
recognize how my Essence
unfolds as I grow in my life.
This is one of my poems,
followed by instructions to
write your own.

… A speck of dust
flying in the wind.
The pollen perhaps
that germinates a field.
The oxygen atom
that revives a breathless man.

I am
A tiny drop
in the vast ocean.
The drop that joins others
to rise in a huge wave.
The drop that carries
food to a school of fish.

How can you know and love your Sacred Self? Go deep into your BodySoul and
connect to your inner truth. Find out how to Shapeshift into your Dream in this
shamanic journey with Maria Mar. (See Page 9.)


6

I am
a wee light
glowing in the
Great
Darkness.
The light that
brings the
lost ships to
harbor
and guides
the child
safely home.

I am not so big
that I burst out of
my own skin.
Not so small
to be insignificant.
Not less.
Not more.
I am enough;
perfect, in fact,
for the purpose for
which
I was created.

And while that
purpose
may not fill a
stadium,
it feels my heart.
And that is a
vastness
for which no
words exist
except my own.
Maria Mar
March 30, 2012
*From Diary of Now

Pin this issue of Butterfly You!

7


Writing exercise to create the
I Am Ode to your Sacred Self

Use the I Am poem to create a life retrospective and self-celebration, selflove poem.
STEP 1: Find something in nature that is very tiny, yet carries a great
elemental power, like a drop of rain or snow. Describe its smallness and its
greatness.
STEP 2: Describe how you are as small and as great as that element.
STEP 3: Repeat this process with 3 to 5 elements, each time describing an
aspect of your "smallness" (your human frailties, mistakes, limitations) and
your greatness (your human superpowers, values, creativity) that is like that
element. You can compare yourself to the element (simile) or describe
yourself as if you were that element (metaphor).
STEP 4: Reflect on the measure of your smallness that helps you to stay
"within your skin" and in the measure of your greatness that helps you to
transcend any limitation and create new experiences.

STEP 5: End the poem by describing how you are perfect for your purpose

That's it. Happy poetizing!

If you like poetry, you will enjoy my Sacred Poetry Transmissions. You
can also subscribe to my free newsletter Life is Poetry.


8

Great Self-love Gifts for you and your girlfriends!

Shapeshift from
Caterpillar to
Butterfly
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9

February 27. 2014
6PM-10PM EST
More dates.

Regular Price $125 USD
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Great Self-love Gifts for you and your girlfriends!

Great Self-love Gifts
This Valentine Day issue features
love-enhancing gifts that you can
give yourself or your girlfriends.
Digital gifts can feel a bit “abstract.” That’s
why we’ve created a beautiful line of
egreetings featuring Maria Mar’s art. After
you pay, you will find a link to our unique
egreetings, which you can personalize and
send to warm your beloved or friend’s heart
before the gift arrives. Perfect for friends that
live far or those you won’t see in person… or
for an added surprise!

Give & Receive Specials
Wherever you see this badge, you can get your
own gift when you purchase one for your
girlfriends. You download your own gift
immediately, then send the egreeting to your
friend. We will deliver the gift directly to your
friend.


10

5 Top Things

to Attract and
Keep Your Valentine
JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO

Valentines Day is here. If
you’re single this may fill
you with dread as you
contemplate yet another
year watching couples
celebrating together while
you wonder when your
true love will come along.
Success in attracting true love can only
happen from a place of joy and happiness
within yourself. So what can you do in
order to keep your joy flowing and your
attractor power high?
Here are 5 top things that work from the
inside out to attract your 2014 Valentine –
and make him your very own Valentine for
the rest of time!

BONUS ARTICLE
See Julie-Anne’s generous
Bonus Article on Page 38

11

1

Stop wishing – be on
a mission!

Are you dreaming, hoping, wishing
and longing for love?
You can go for years wishing and
dreaming. Like most of us, you were
probably brought up to believe in
fairytales – that one day (if you wait
long enough) your prince will come and
you will live happily ever after!
Perhaps you think that you’re at the
mercy of love coming your way –
maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Or
maybe you think that only lucky
people have love.


A confident, radiant woman who knows her
worth is incredibly attractive to a man.

2

Love yourself up

At this time of year the loneliness can
feel crushing and old negative thoughts
such as “Everyone gets love except me”
or “I’m not good enough” can set in.
But these beliefs actually run your
love life. So if you are walking around
thinking you’re not good enough or are
not lovable, then you will probably meet
men who don’t think you are either.
A confident, radiant woman who
knows her worth is incredibly attractive
to a man.
Start to catch those negative voices
and begin telling your self what you
would like your Valentine to tell you;
that you’re beautiful, lovable and so
worthy of love.

3

Stop “doing” and
start “being”

Our society teaches us to depend on
external factors for love. In other words
if only you were slimmer, younger, fitter,
had more money, had better hair and
teeth or joined the next dating site then
maybe just maybe you would “get” love.

But love has less to do with what
you’re doing and everything to do
with the person you are being. When
you stop focusing on finding the right
person and instead focus on being the
right person, magically the right
person comes along.
So concentrate on becoming the
most delicious version of yourself you
can be and you’ll attract a man who
finds you totally irresistible.


12

Get clear on the type of man you are looking
for and what you need in a relationship.

4

Be around supportive,
uplifting people

When you’re on a mission to become
your best you to attract love, it’s vital to
surround yourself with positive people
who uplift you and make you feel good.
Limit the time you spend with
unsupportive people. Make sure you
don’t engage in negative conversations
for example: how men are all the same or
love is impossible. These just keep you
going in a downward spiral.
Tell friends you trust about your
mission and ask for their support.
Get clear on the type of man you are
looking for and what you need in a
relationship. Then tell your friends that
you’re open to meeting anyone they
know who may be a good match.

13

5

Write an Irresistible
Online Dating Profile

So now that you’ve focused on the
inner you, it’s time to put out your love
signal! This kind of profile will
eliminate the kinds of men you don’t
want and only attract good matches
for you.
You want your profile to state clearly
and confidently who you are, what you
need and what you’re looking for, while
also being receptive, open, engaging and
welcoming to another person.
Here are some tips:
• Write about your life-values and your
life-vision: Shared life-values and lifevision are essential for lasting love so
get clear on yours now.


• Use sensory language: Describe how it feels to do the things you love and enjoy in
order to give the reader an experience of you.

• Ask a friend to write about their experience of being your friend: Then use some of
these elements in your profile. This gives the reader an insight into what it’s like to
be in relationship with you.
• Know the top 3 things you must have for it to work: Get clear on the things you
MUST have.
• Be honest! Don’t lie about your age or use false photos! If you want children,
state it clearly. If you don’t, state it clearly.
• Your Photos: Use photos that convey warmth, confidence and radiance.
Follow these top 5 things now and draw towards you your 2014 Valentine – like
a magnet.

JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO is an International Love & Relationship Expert,
Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of
women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through her
private coaching (available via Skype or phone from anywhere in the world),
dynamic live events and home study programs.

Sign up for her complimentary Ebook & Video Series: Your 7-Step Path to Mr.
Extraordinary on her website: www.magnetizinglove.com


14

Great Holiday Gifts for you and your girlfriends!

• Discover the
Essential Gifts with
which you were born.

This series of three audios takes you into a
peaceful shamanic journey that energizes
each of your cells with the experience of
the intrinsic value of your Unique Essence.

• Love yourself, just
as you are right now.

•Know and feel that you are a success right
now

• Clarify your life
purpose.

•Dissolve the emotional blocks that stand
on the way to your success and love
•Enjoy peace of mind and relaxation
•Achieve a genuine sense of fulfillment
•Experience a deep appreciation for the
authentic value you bring to the world
• Know the value you bring into
relationships

Only $45 USD
For the set of 3 MP3 audios
Immediately Downloadable

15

Buy Now!
MP3 format
20MB to 49.7MB


Be your
Own
valentine!
8 Ideas on
How to Celebrate
St. Valentine
SHANNON R. RIOS

This year, my advice is
just focus on loving
YOU! You deserve it.
I can guarantee you that the more you
love you, the easier it will be to attract that
next amazing partner.
Send yourself flowers! I did
when I was single and it was wonderful. I
signed it “I love you beautiful girl!” You
can make yourself happy.

Do whatever you love to
do: get a massage, take a hot bath, take
care of you and love you!

Buy a card for your
future partner; know they are on the
horizon, envision all of their wonderful
characteristics and write those
down! Believe it will happen and feel
the love you will feel with this person.


16

Get together with
girlfriends and have a wonderful dinner.
Send your best single
girlfriend flowers so she has a happy day
today!
Volunteer somewhere in
your community today or commit to
volunteering. There is nothing like
focusing on others to let us know how
lucky we are.

Decide to take yourself
on a solo journey of self-love – have fun
solo, you can take a charter trip or just
go anywhere solo! I traveled to
Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, India and
Thailand Solo. Best trips of my life!

Do whatever it takes to
love yourself more! Whether you have a
partner or not, this is the key to happy
life and relationships!
websites:
www.inlovewithme.com
www.healthychildrenofdivorce.com
www.rioscoaching.com

17

My wish for you is an amazing
and love-filled Valentine’s Day
where you celebrate the most
important person in the world –
YOU! If I could send flowers to
every single one of you I would, but
instead I am sending you a BIG
virtual hug all the way from
Denver, Colorado! Take a deep
breath and feel it!
SHANNON R RIOS MS LMFT is a Life Coach,
Leadership Coach and a Marriage and Family
Therapist. Her passion in life is partnering with
clients as a coach to allow them to manifest their full
potential in the world. She is honored to partner with
you on this beautiful journey. Please visit her website
www.inlovewithme.com for further information on
her self-love programs and books.
Her new book, In Love With Me: 7 Self-Love
Strategies for Successful Partnerships, Parenting and
Performance will be released Spring/Summer 2014. To
pre-order a PDF copy, go to http://bit.ly/loveme7


Your Valentine Gift
This heart-opening meditation allows you to:
•Work with your heart to receive love and
universal messages for yourself.
•Open your all-knowing heart and hear it
speak to you.
It has been useful for individuals that have
had or are going to have heart surgery to
really connect to their hearts.

“I was surprised that this
meditation actually connected
with me and enrolled me to
envision the strength and love my
heart still expresses and feels. My
first time ever meditating was
quite healing and comforting to
me”.
58 year-old, four-time heart surgery
patient who previously had never meditated

Sign up to receive this healing
meditation and her monthly
newsletter.

Yes! I want my Valentine Gift!
MP3 downloadable audio

Abundance and Love

Whatever is currently happening in your life right
now, if you have chosen these meditations, you
have chosen a life of love.

Two for One Deal
ONLY $8.99 USD
for two MP3 Format
downloadable audios

Healing ourselves is the first step in becoming all
we came here to be. Sometimes this process
involves pain and transition. We can transform
this pain into abundant love.
You deserve the life of your dreams. The key to
manifesting this life is deep self-love. When we
love ourselves, we create abundance in our lives
and in the world.


18

Great Holiday Gifts for you and your girlfriends!

Inspirational Novella

An inspiring story that takes you in a
magical journey of discovery to find
and heal the wounds you’ve inherited
that steal health, wealth and love
from you. Break free from your
family karma and personal history.
A story to change your story
and claim your victory!
Walk the Sacred Feminine Storytelling
Path to transformation.

Only
$25 USD

Buy Now!
PDF format

It is Christmas, and the shaman prepares to visit her Aunt Emma. Why is she feeling
so stressed out? Why is her stomach churning? Why is she forgetting where she put
her things? At Aunt Emma’s Night Wolf, the shaman's Power Animal, follows the
scent of a Shadow that has been stealing the shaman's health, wealth and love.
Once more, she is frustrated by Aunt Emma’s constant refusal
to receive help. But this time, Night Wolf shows the shaman
her own refusals as the she-wolf tracks down the family karma.
As a reader, you witness the multiple dimensions in the
shaman's psyche: the Hunter Power Animal, the conscious
mind, the Inner Children, the Wise Woman and the Victim who
still carries her learned limitations. As you witness the
shaman’s struggle, you gain understanding of your own karmic
challenge, with a resulting increase in self-compassion.

19


Not perfect? Love yourself as you are!

Love can help you!
REV. MISA HOPKINS

When you just aren’t seeing
the healing process that you
would like to see, you can
become quite discouraged.
That discouragement can
lead to you being really hard
on yourself, your doctor,
your healer, your family or
the Divine.
It becomes far too easy to blame and
difficult to be kind. In fact, we sometimes
use the fact that we are not feeling well to
be tough on someone else—to be rude or
cranky. Somehow we think because we are
feeling bad, it gives us the right to take it
out on the people around us. I share this
from first-hand experience. I’ve been rude
to a loved one when I wasn’t feeling well.

Healing and bad feelings are not
compatible. And bad feelings make us
and everyone around us feel worse.

I wish that I had understood then that
my lack of kindness was feeding my
illness. It is almost impossible to heal in
the midst of frustration and anger.

I remember when my mother was
dying. Bless her heart, she was tough
on her kids.

In fact, many illnesses are born from
negative emotions, so perpetuating
them won’t help us find any relief or
comfort, and may very well drive away
the very people that are there to
help us.


20

“In fact, many illnesses
are born from negative
emotions, so perpetuating
them won’t help us find
any relief or comfort, and
may very well drive away
the very people that are
there to help us.”
But when my aunts or the caretaker
from hospice came over to help, she was
as sweet as she could be, even in the midst
of the worst pain.
After a couple of days, I decided not to
tend to her because my presence only
stimulated her frustration. I left her in
the care of my aunts for my sake—so
that I wouldn’t have to face her growing
anger.
Given the same scenario today, I would
choose to talk with her about my desire
to leave and why I would prefer to stay,
experiencing our last days together with
as much pleasantness as possible.
I also understand that if my mother
was able to be kind toward my aunts, she
might have been experiencing a little
more kindness for herself, and kindness
makes any experience a little sweeter.

21

Rev. Misa Hopkins

In my first career as a Special
Education teacher, I spent a year
teaching children that were terminally
ill. They showed me that a person can
be quite ill and yet be quite kind. They
were amazingly gentle with others and
grateful even as their bodies gave way
to their illnesses. Their little souls
showed me the power of kindness
amidst adversity.
If you are suffering from a chronic
illness, the illness is there because of
something that is out of balance
emotionally and physically that
perhaps you do not yet remember or
have not yet been able to forgive
or heal.


Getting to the place of complete surrender to the Divine is a
journey —some days clearer and easier than others.
Kindness carries you through the days when you might not feel like you are
making enough progress. It is your love that makes it safe for memories and
emotional wounds to heal. And it is your love that invites Divine assistance. Anger
and frustration with your illness and others keeps away what you most need in
order to heal.
If anger and frustration is coming up, then it is these emotions that need your
attention most…and your kindness. In the presence of your kindness the healing
energy of love can flow.

REV. MISA HOPKINS is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, The Root of All
Healing: 7 Steps to Healing Anything, which has been called the first-aid handbook for
the new 21st century consciousness. With over 30 years of teaching and training
experience, including teaching hundreds of healers, Hopkins is an astute observer of
human motivation and potential. Her observations about the healing progress of her
clients, students and friends, and her own miraculous healings led her to groundbreaking conclusions about how miracles are created.
Free Downloadable Report! Beating the Odds: 10 Beliefs that can short-circuit your Healing, plus regular
Inspired Healing messages from Misa Hopkins at: http://misahopkins.com/


22

Healing Your Heart
Attracting Your Desires- Through the Power of Sound
(Sound Healing for Wellness)
•

Discover Your Own Sound Healing Power with the Sound Healing for Wellness Audio
Course.

•

You’ll experience your fundamental or signature sounds for healing and well-being.

•

You’ll experience conscious breathing – opening the resonating chamber of your
body.

•

You will learn how to take your breathing into the cellular-level.

•

Powerful exercises you can do at home.

•

Inspirational stories so that you can consider what is truly possible.

•

Actual case studies as Misa addresses participant’s specific conditions.
The original live tele-course sold for $365 to overflow capacity… but
today you can receive the recorded Audio Course for just $197…
more than $150 off the original course price!
Yes! I’m ready to receive 12 sessions,
delivered weekly, with over 15 hours of
training to develop my sound healing
abilities with Misa.
I understand that I will also receive MP3
audio recordings of the Breathing Your
Way to Physical Freedom Meditation and
the first step of the Creation Meditation—
The Holding.
I understand that I am receiving over $150
off the original price of the live tele-course.

I want to unlock my sound
healing powers in 12 sessions!

23


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24

Great Valentine Gifts for you and your girlfriends!

Gift one, get one!

Do you Deserve Success?
The Answer is Yes!
This first book in the Bless your Success Book
Series is a portal for women and Spiritual
Creatives to walk into Authentic Success.

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• It helps you find the Unique Essence at
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I say Yes to success! • It allows you to experience right now that
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• When you release these self-diminishing
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Meet the Sacred Storyteller
Maria Mar

Enter the story!

26

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Featured Inspirational Article
Maria Mar

A woman’s ride from her pressing problems to her brightest potential


28

MARIA MAR

Single?

•If you long for love so bad that it hurts,
don’t seek it yet. Instead, make a fierce
commitment to love

yourself
unconditionally just as you
are right now.

Soulmate Searching?

•If you are committed to finding your
soulmate this year, don’t go in a dating
binge. Instead, romance

openly

life

every day, savoring each
moment and enjoying the presence of each
person you choose to meet and the magic
each brings into your life.

Married?

•If you are in a long-term love relationship
and you feel that the magic is dwindling,
don’t push to “spice up” things. Instead
open your heart to receive

tenderly.

love

I am an elder and I have lived and loved magically, freely
and passionately. Like a ripe fruit, love has yielded its
delicious essence and poured it abundantly into my heart.
Today I want to share some secrets it has whispered and
others it has roared.

29


At the same time, I am a baby boomer
who started youth as a feminist, a child of
divorced parents and a woman wounded by
the arrows of 20th century biases and
traumas around love and gender. This
personal herstory has left deep imprints that
I’ve had to lovingly, painfully remove, like
long sharp splinters embedded in my heart.
These splinters harden the female heart
with lonely beliefs that pit love against
freedom, independence or personal power.
Our fear shows up in each love story and
gives it the same painful ending until we stop
believing in happy endings and romance.
Though I still believe in romance, my fears
and defensiveness have often gone to battle
with my romantic, sensual nature.
Unfortunately, they have often won.

The Gift in Heartbreak
My heart has been broken often. Not only
by romantic love, but by filial or family love,
friendly love and most frequently by my own
faltering self-love.
But in each heart break I have noticed a
recurrent story. I am suddenly thrown into a
situation that breaks my heart. The pain
seems unbearable. My heart is stabbed,
pierced, shattered and finally broken. The
agony is excruciating. I think I’m going to
die of heartbreak. But I don’t. Instead,
something different happens. My heart is
cleansed, renewed, remodeled and expanded
into a higher frequency of love.

I have finally
understood what love is
telling me at the
moment of heartbreak.
It is showing me
something that I did
not want to see about
my own capacity to love
and be loved, to give
and receive and to be
fully me and fully alive
and awaken or to put
away pieces of me in
order to be accepted,
loved or safe.


30

In my 20s I used to chase love with the
same desperation that I rejected it. The
battle between love and freedom was part
of it. But the larger enemy in this battle
was my utter lack of self-love. I spent my
energy defending myself from ghost
attacks, mirages of the self-attacks I
perpetrated daily against my
vulnerability, sensuality and deep
empathy. And sure enough, the Men
Mirrors showed me again and again how I
was devaluing my Female Gifts and
trampling all over my heart.

The Love Hunger
If you long for love so bad that it hurts,
this is not the moment to search for it out
there. Or if you do, understand that it’s
not about there being no “good men out
there.” What is happening is that you are
meeting your Sacred Masculine in the men
you attract.
A good self-love practice for you right
now is to understand how your Sacred
Masculine responds to your Sacred
Feminine.
•
•
•

Does your logical mind honor your
heart?
Do your skill and choices serve your
Soul’s desires?
Do you listen as much as you talk? Do
you listen to yourself? Your BodySoul?

31

•

Do you receive as much as you give?

• Do you feel beautiful, lovable and
valuable?
• Do you nurture your creativity and
trust your intuition?
• Do you value your vulnerability or
are you constantly hardening up
against it?

Vulnerability is the power to
dive into your loss to find
your love.
Make a fierce commitment to love
yourself unconditionally just as you
are right now, without judgment.
Cultivate the gifts of your Sacred
Feminine: vulnerability, compassion,
love, grace, soul, receptivity, beauty,
creativity, intuition and intimacy.


The men you are attracting now are
Sacred Mirrors that show you how
your Shiva is treating your Shakti. If
you don’t like the outer relationship,
change the inner relationship.
As you do, observe how your Sacred
Masculine reacts to these gifts.
•

Is it defensive against your
vulnerability?

•

Is it cynical about your romanticism?

•

Does it reproach you when you don’t
talk and instead listen?

•

Does it badger you when you don’t
argue to win, but try to understand
instead?

•

Does it judge your intuitive choices?

Heal your Shiva (Male) Energy and
nurture your Shakti (Female) Energy
and you will experience a subtle shift.
•

You will be less hungry, less empty
and more balanced.

•

You will not feel alone in your own
company.

•

You will stop defending yourself
against the world.

•

You will not be scared of male
energy.

•

The Soulmate Search
If you are committed to finding your
soulmate this year, I have a recommendation. Before you send a call to arms to
all your friends announcing that you are
seeking to meet available men, spend
some months Romancing Life.
What do I mean by that?
There was a period in my life
where I engaged in the terrible
practice of Kissing Frogs.
This is my name for something women
often do. We project our magic, majesty
and mojo onto little men who cannot
handle or understand our greatness.
We dress them up with kingly attire
and pour onto them the magic that is
ours. We fall in love with a frog that we
have turned into a Prince.

You will not be at war with it, either.

Then one day, shazam! The frog
escapes our spell and we are faced with a
frog in our bed.


32

Before you invent a romance with a
man, spend sometimes Romancing Life,
romancing yourself.

•

Not receive his love,

•

Resent and blame him for all of the
above, and

•

What magic do you bring to an
encounter?

•

Still you won’t do things that make
you happy!

•

What magic do you need in life?

•

What are you passionate about?

•

What awakens your sensuality?

•

What makes you laugh?

•

What fills your heart?

The way I healed my Kissing Frog
malady was simple, though not easy
because it demanded that I change the
way I lived to match the way I create
as a poet and artist.

•

What brings you delight each day?

•

What are you grateful for?

After a particular bad choice
in an almost-date, still in the
high of the oxytocin burst; but
clear headed, I examined what
happened inside me when I was
“in love.”

Wake yourself back to the
aliveness and wonder you had
as a child. Enjoy the adventure
of life. Do things that make
you happy.
For some reason, women tend to deny
ourselves the things that make us happy.
As long as you are doing this, you will
also:
•

Attract men who won’t make you
happy,

•

Allow your man to transgress
boundaries, take you for granted,
make you invisible, etc.,

•

Lose yourself in him,

33

•
•

I was kinder,

•
•

I was happy for no reason,
I smiled spontaneously and

In the presence of the beloved my
body produced huge clouds of
oxytocin that mellowed me down,
sweetened me up and brightened
the colors of every object in the
room.

As I observed this state, I realized
that the man was not there, and it
was still happening. Therefore, I was
doing this! The other person was just
a catalyst.


At that point I decided that I was going to live in a state of being in love.
But how to do this, how to “fall in love” when there is no man who arouses your
passion, when you are alone?
I discovered that to be in love is to Romance Life. In Spanish we talk of “El
Duende” —the mysterious force that poet Federico Garcia Lorca describes as a halfangel, half-demon that possesses the artist after he abandons the muse, wrestles
with his fear and surrenders beyond his skill.

Romancing life is

Suddenly, like a burst of crystal marbles

To see the immense magic

rolling under your feet,

in a tiny coincidence,

they trample your plans.

to dive, heart first, into the sunset

You lose your footing.

drinking its vibrancy and

You fall and fall deeper and deeper.

swimming in the ebb and flow

Any moment now you will break

of its hues.

against the bottom!

It is to caress each perfect vein

Instead your wings open.

in the leaf,

Love shows up as El Duende.

trembling in awe.

You rise.

It is to seize

You fly in the ecstasy

the passionate metaphors

of your unfolding soul.

life throws at you.


34

Source your experience from the
compass of your Soul and you will
Romance Life.
•

Do what makes you happy,

•

Fill your heart with the beauty and
magic of this world,

•

Dare to dive deeply into your truth,

•

Dare to fly high into your
possibilities and

•

Open your heart to let your Essence
step into your present.

When you are living in a state of love,
you won’t have to seek. Your soulmate
will show up. He will be a mirror of the
best in you and you will be ready to
embrace that mirror.

You Love but are no Longer
“In Love”
If you let it, routine can settle in. But
that routine that you keep using as an
excuse to keep romance at bay is not
real. It is a mask.

Routine is the facsimile of
life we create when we close
our heart to life.

35

I remember once as a young woman
protesting to my beloved because I did
not want to fall into any routine in our
budding relationship. Wise as he was,
he said nothing. He simply pointed
towards the sunset right in front of us.
At that moment I felt a spiritual
slap that woke me up. Without words,
he gave me a great gift that until this
day paints my life in wonder.
Routine is an illusion. Life is a
miracle. Every second is a wonder.
Like the sunset, life happens every day
with its trillion miracles. The sunset is
never a routine. Yet, you may walk
past it without noticing it if you are
obfuscated.
There is no routine. It is our senses
that get stale, our mind that gets
blunt, our imagination that goes to
sleep. And then we live in autopilot,
wrapped in the veils of routine.


Yet it is normal and simply human.
Dealing with the bills, the kids, the
mortgage or the in-laws can take a toll.
If you are in a long-term love
relationship that’s been going on for a
while, you may love your partner deeper
than ever; yet you may feel that you are
no longer “in love.”

Savor the tiny moments with your
beloved. Trace the lines in his face with
your fingers and allow the wonder of his
life to climb into your nerves. Feel the
miracle that brought this man into your
life. Look at him. Really look at him. Let
his beloved countenance enter your heart.
Carve his features into your Soul.

If this is happening to you, it’s
probably happening to him, too. But
before you try the Kama Sutra or sky
diving to spice things up, try a simple,
subtle Internal Action.

Dare to stay there, feeling this
tenderness, this vulnerability and this
tremor in your heart. Stay. Don’t go.
Don’t change the topic. Don’t do or say
anything. Stay in your heart, with him.

Open your heart to receive
love tenderly.

Dive deeply into his eyes until you feel
his soul. Open your heart and let him dive
deeply into your eyes until you feel him
touching your soul and you become one.

Here are things that help you do this:
•

•

Walk in nature. Earth Mother’s
magic awakens our innermost being
to love.
Listen to the song of birds, the
whispers of trees and the ecstasy of
flowers. They will help you listen to
your own Sacred Heart.

Dare to open your heart and
receive love so tenderly.
The truth is that we stop seeing the
people, sites and situations that become
familiar. We take them for granted. And
as we do, our heart closes a little
each time.


36

We stop kissing, hugging, contemplating
each other, enjoying the magic of the
moment. We become scared little creatures,
moving jerkily from one thing to the other,
fearful of resting in the beloved’s arms. We
go up into our heads and talk, talk, talk,
do, do, do, think, think, think to cover the
pain that we feel for abandoning our soul.

When you open your
heart to the beloved,

We become habituated to this veil of
routine that separates us from the beloved
and truth be said, from our own Sacred
Self. This makes us fearful of opening our
heart again, fearful of being rejected.

that wants to shower
you in its passion;

But our heart won’t give up. If we listen,
we can hear its cries.
Your Sacred Heart wants to be as open as
the silence that stretches far into the night
while it wraps around your skin, singing
you into harmony with creation.

his love will pour onto
you,
for it is a river that
has been struggling to
reach you,

that longs to bathe
you in its sweet
waters.
You are blessed with
love.

Receive this miracle
anew.

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37


I went from Caterpillar Self to Butterfly Woman.
That’s why I can help you in your metamorphosis!
I’ve done it so often it’s become a way of life.
Here’s my last journey: I went from homeless
to the CEO of my own corporation! The
.I Ching has a number that means both
Emergency and Emergence. Do not confuse
where you are at with who you are. No
matter your conditions now, you can
EMERGE because the Butterfly You
is growing within you right now.
Maria Mar is the creator of the Butterfly You !
magazine. Here are some juicy bits about her.
 She is a storyteller. Whether in her writings or
performances, her stories are journeys of instant
transformation.
 She is an alchemist that creates ARTchemy; art as
alchemy. If you are a crafty chica, you will love the
arts & crafts alchemical projects Maria creates to
help you express your mojo and achieve
manifestation and transformation, as well as
specific life or business goals.
 She is a mystical, ceremonial poet. Her poetry is
created as a ceremony for deep insight into your
soul and radical healing of limiting patterns.

 She is a Woman of Power. She was trained as a
shaman and underwent her death and rebirth .
 She loves dancing, writing and sharing poetry,
enjoying the beauty of the natural world and
having rich conversations with other Butterfly
Beings.
 She is the CEO and founder of ShamansDance
Publishing & Productions.


38

Angelina and the Law of Attraction is an
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Angelina is taking the train to what she
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The ordinary train ride becomes a quest
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part of her soul that carries her dream and
that is now sequestered and rapidly fading.
Will Angelina have the wisdom to spot and
release the obstacles she has unconsciously
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courage and stealth to save her DreamSelf
and become her most cherished Dream?
Find out!
•If you love fantasy or women’s fiction,
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•If you are applying the Law of
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39


Bonus Article

You Want his Love!
Yes, but are you ready to
JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO

RECEIVE

it?

In romantic relationships, there is a
giver and a receiver.

Some people call this a pursuer and an accepter,
but the central idea is that one person leads the
dance and the other follows as long as the
second person feels happy and comfortable
following. The receiver/accepter can always bow
out and stop dancing at any time.
Typically, male energy wants to pursue. That’s
a man’s natural state. Female energy receives
and appreciates.
Women have more and more power in the
workforce, politically, and personally. This leads
to living in male energy that spills over into
relationships and short circuits the close, loving
bond based on this giving and receiving
dynamic with a special man that every
heterosexual woman craves.
JulieAnne
Shapiro

When we women allow someone to give to
us and receive their gift with appreciation, a
connection forms. Continue to receive, and the
connection grows.


40

Giving and Receiving: The Core
Elements of Romantic Relationships
Tapping into your female energy, ask
yourself, Am I more comfortable giving or
receiving? If giving, what is your underlying
motivation for giving? Are you trying to gain
love, acceptance and approval? Proving that you
are worthy and capable? Protecting yourself from
being vulnerable? Do you feel like asking for
support makes you a burden to others? Selfsufficiency takes away our capacity to receive and
have healthy mutuality in a romantic
relationship.
Sometimes mother energy also steps in and
causes us to over-deliver, to mother and smother
our man. This is another way to shut down his
natural desire to give to us. Then we wonder why
he stops giving and becomes distant.
What are your non-negotiable needs? Write
them down. Here are a few to get you started:
•

I need to be told I’m beautiful.

•

I need to be cherished.

•

I need to be seen and heard.

List everything you can think of, then ask
yourself:” For which of these would I rather be
alone than do without?” These are non-negotiable
for you. These will qualify the man who becomes
your man.

41

Open up to receiving those nonnegotiable needs by allowing the
warm energy of appreciation to
flow out of you. Be concise and
clear about what you need, and
give him a choice to give to you
rather than demanding. Ask him,
“What do you need from me in
order to give me what I need?”
Make it easy to give to you. Enroll
and inspire him to give to you.
Even when we ask, sometimes
people can't give us what we
need. Maybe the man you are with
doesn’t know how to give.


Maybe he wants to give you things that make you uncomfortable. Don't
make that mean something about you. Your value is sure and constant. You are
a deeply worthy and beautiful woman with so much to contribute. If he is not
willing or able give you what you need, you are simply not a match.
There is someone out there who will be excited and “lit up” by you. There is
someone who can’t wait to give to you. That person is waiting to meet you too,
so don’t waste time and energy on someone who is not a match or on devaluing
yourself. Shine your radiant light and you will draw your true love to you.
What new choices and actions can you take today to put yourself in
alignment with expanding and receiving from that special someone?
Would you like help with making new choices and actions right now? Ones
that will bring brand new results – an extraordinary, loving partner? Are you
READY and WILLING to go for it?

If you are ready, then consider this very comprehensive downloadable
program that takes you on a step-by-step journey to love. It covers a wide
range of topics – everything from opening up and setting your intention for
love, healing past pain and patterns, becoming your best, irresistible and
radiant self, navigating dating and the exact steps to determining and
attracting your ideal match. Read more.
JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO is an International Love & Relationship Expert,
Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of
women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through her
private coaching (available via Skype or phone from anywhere in the world),
dynamic live events and home study programs.

Find the program for you here.

42

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43

Maria Mar

Why curl,
hide,
can

Master the art of shaping your life into your dream.

and Fly now!

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crawl or
when you
fly!

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44

Join the MagicMark Your Life Tribe!

45


Join the

ButterflyYou
Fall 2013 Contest
Calling all spiritual, creative women who are working to serve
the world through the expression of their own unique gifts
and talents. Share your story of how you shed Caterpillar You
and embrace your Butterfly Self.
YES! I join the

Butterfly You Contest

Click the button to fill out the form and read the instructions and terms.

If you are selected, you receive:
•A face-to-face interview with Maria Mar to share your Butterfly Woman Story. Maria will
transform this interview into an article and you will be featured in an issue of the magazine.*
•A MagicMark your Life Private Session with Maria Mar to explore how to fly higher,
strengthen your wings and increase your expressive power to embody your purpose and live
ecstatically. (2 hours).

In return, you agree to:
You agree to participate in the promotion of that issue of the Butterfly You! Magazine,
promoting it in social media and to your list for the launching week.
*You need Skype and a webcam for this.

What to do:
Submit your Butterfly You story summary in any of these formats: video, writing or audio, plus
at least one full-figure, frontal facing high resolution photo. (To give you the Butterfly Woman
Wings). You also need to submit your social media, blog, site, articles, videos and stores URLs,
so that we can appreciate what you are sharing with the world.
Submit your entry, get instructions and terms here.


46

Featured Art

Eros & Psyche
By Tanya Torres
Available in greeting card or art print in several sizes at

Etsy’s Yellow Butterfly Store
I want to have these lovers in my home!
To celebrate my love/ attract my soulmate

Be your Own Valentine!

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