DocNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, Part 3: An Asylum Challenge

1. DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths: An Asylum Challenge
Part 3: The Unusual Suspects
Asylum Challenge designed by SimScout: One playable Sim, seven uncontrollable Sims, limited funding, furnishings limited
in quality and quantity, challenge ends when the playable's LTW is met.
Playable:
SimNerd, my SimSelf, Knowledge Sim with LTW to Max 7 Skills.
Inmates:
Uranium Apocalypso (EphemeralToast on boolprop.com/ephemeraltoast on the Exchange's Apocalypso-A-Go-Go), Gaius
Caesar (Blite27/Netsfn1427's Ten Caesars), Salahuddin Chamcha (katrih83's Bookacy), Cecil Goodytwoshoes
(professorbutters/Loolooloo16play's Squeaky Clean Legacy), Kirstial Legacina (Orikes/orikes360's Pseudo Legacy), Vee
Semper (GintasticNecat's Science of a Legacy), Cypress Vetinari (DrSupremeNerd's Vetinari Dualegacy)

2. This is where I left you at the end of Part 2: Fortune Sim Cecil, whose crying over the state of his Aspiration is beginning to
cut into his bathtub piracy, set fire to his chili. Someone should tell him that the heat in chili is measured in Scoville units
rather than BTUs.
Cecil and Kirstial both took a hit. Gaius, not so much, but then, it wasn't Grilled Cheese that Cecil ignited. Lucky for Cecil that
he just got Aspiration for gaining a Cooking point.
Oh, and... it's 1:30 in the afternoon, and SimNerd gets home from work at 2. Longest thirty seconds of my life!

3. SimNerd: "Cecil, if you survive through this, I might just have to kill you myself. I got a promotion! I should be happy! And my
Aspiration should be that color rather than my plumbbob!"

4. Cecil: "My word. That was a truly frightening experience."
SimNerd: "Cecil! Look! I'm smiling and waving! I'm not mad at all, see? Why don't you come over here so I can give you a
hug or a cookie or a stack of unmarked nonsequential hundred dollar bills or something else equally appealing?"
Cecil: "...I do not believe your offer is genuine, nor do I feel that approaching you at this time would be in any way beneficial
to my health."
But who takes the biggest hit to become the first full-blown Aspiration Failure of the Asylum? Already-distraught Fortune Sim
Cecil? Aspirationally see-sawing Kirstial?

5. Ah, how the mighty have fallen...
Not bragging about your platinum plumbbob now, are ya, Cypress? Guess you've skilled so much that those points you have
left aren't coming so quick, huh?
Oh, Schadenfreude*, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... One: Cypress gibbering. Two: Cypress flapping his lips.
Three: Cypress in complete and total Aspiration Failure.
*Schadenfreude is the word for taking amusement in someone else's suffering. Not to be confused with Schadenfreud, which
is taking amusement in someone else's Oedipus Complex.

6. Gaius: "You know what? It's not even worth it to try the bathroom anymore."

7. Cypress: "Aspiration... meter... low... must... skill..."
SimNerd: "Have fun with that! I'm just gonna serve up some Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and hope that Gaius actually eats
one for a change."
Cypress: "Only... other... big... want... See... Ghost..."
SimNerd: "Vee's right over there, but she's not knocking on Death's Door right now. In fact, the only one who is is... you."
Cypress: "Be... Saved... From... Death... also... acceptable..."
SimNerd: "Dude, I wouldn't save you even if I could."
No, I don't know really know what Cypress's Want Panel looks like right now, but I can make a pretty good guess.

8. SimNerd: "Johnny! Come on in and hang out with my seven crazy, evil, in many cases smelly, and in one case, completely off
his rocker, roommates!"
Johnny: "Are you sure that this is an appropriate environment for a teenager?"
SimNerd: "You know what? Let's just say yes."
Johnny: "I don't know..."
SimNerd: "I'm the adult here, Junior, and I say it's okay, now get in there and mingle!"

9. SimNerd: "Uh... remember what happened last time I did this? Aspiration still hasn't recovered from the fire, and I really don't
wanna be joining Cypress in having deep conversations with Dr. Wilson."

10. Cypress: "What, Dr. Wilson? You say I should attempt to kill more of my fellow inmates? Why, that's a fantastic idea! I feel
better already!"

11. SimNerd: "You are SO lucky that worked."
Believe me, I know. Dishwasher's busted too.
SimNerd: "Let me at my arch-nemesis!"

12. SimNerd: "I do not get eaten by the eels at this time, right?"
You're safe.

13. Cypress: "Dr. Wilson! I need more of your wisdom! Lots and lots and lots more! What's the best way to kill Salahuddin? He's
survived both fires without taking any hits! He must go!"

14. Salahuddin: "You know, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. I mean, I detect a pattern forming..."
Cypress: "THE POWER OF DR. WILSON COMPELS ME!"
Salahuddin: "And now I'm POSITIVE this is a bad idea."

15. Cecil: "I had a most disturbing nightmare... I was trapped in a bedlam with six murderers and a grumpy SimSelf, and I was
unable to purchase expensive items or work to earn money, and several of my companions spent the day wallowing in their
own filth, and I set my supper on fire..."

16. Cecil: "...Oh..."

17. Cecil: zzzzzzzzzzzMylifeisanightmarezzzzzzzzzz

18. Vee: "Oh, look, dinner theater!"
Salahuddin: "I think he's doing Hamlet!"
Cypress: "What's that, Dr. Wilson? Hemlock in the omelets? Brilliant!"

19. Cecil: "Rolling food-related Wants seems to have saved me from Mr. Vetinari's fate."

20. Cypress and Gaius make Besties. Vee gets chubby. Looks like she needs to hit the Dance Sphere more and the piano less.

21. Uranium's portrait was an amusing shade of orange, so I had SimNerd turn the TV on to wake her up. I figured the only thing
worse than an alive Uranium is a dead, angry, ghostly Uranium.

22. Salahuddin: "Skill point. Need skill point. Skiiiiiiillllllllll."

23. Gah, Cecil manages to look creepy even when he's hugging people! If I were Salahuddin, I'd be running right about now.

24. SimNerd: "Explain to me how this is the easy way?"
Well, it's still faster than falling off the Dance Sphere!

25. SimNerd: "Look, all this means is that I sort of feel bad when I see you talking to the volleyball."
Cypress: "I don't know what you mean--Dr. Wilson is a highly-trained professional."
SimNerd: "I'm betting you're rolling the Want for a generic skill point or the Want to gain Logic Level Whatever. So we're
going to sit here and you're going to get the stupid point, and you'd better get some Aspiration out of it."

26. Cypress: "Look! Cecil's freaking out because his Fun Motive is tanked!"
SimNerd: "Wow. I guess the shower's been so busy since the fire that he hasn't been able to tub-pirate."

27. Guess he was rolling a Logic-specific Want. No more Aspiration Desperation for him for a while!
...Until the next fire. Then all bets are off.

28. Salahuddin: "Skiiiiiillllllll..."
Cecil: "I highly recommend rolling Eat Omelets, Eat Hamburgers, and Eat Chili con Carne."

29. Salahuddin: "I can't get at the coffee when Cecil is juggling in front of it!"
Cecil: "I would prefer to tub pirate, but this is an acceptable substitute, both in terms of its utility as a fun-booster and
evilness."

30. SimNerd: "Blite! Hey! Come make friends with my crazy people!"
Blite: "You brought this on yourself, you know."
SimNerd: "Yeah, but now I'm sharing the love. You gave the world Gaius. Think of this as payback."

31. Pen: "You know, you don't always have to interpret what I say as an invitation."
SimNerd: "I have a sick sense of humor, and yet you keep 'volunteering.' That speaks more to you than it does to me!"
Pen: "Well, at least there's no pants-fish."
SimNerd: "There is that. Oh, and try to stay away from Uranium."
Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy. And she should really know better than to mention that she's glad she's NOT doing
something in one of my stories!

32. Salahuddin: "I'm skilling myself into happiness!"
Vee: "I'm skilling myself into stinkiness!"
Uranium: "Is Kirstial up yet?"
Pen: "Oh crap, Blite, don't leave me alone with these people, okay?"
Blite: "Screw that, if Uranium looks over here, it's every man for himself!"
Gaius: "...Narrator guy?"

33. SimNerd: "Larch! I need a friend!"
Larch: "No hugs!"

34. That look is so much more entertaining when it's not directed at SimNerd.
...So then I got the brilliant idea to Flirt with him for the double-plus, and it didn't occur to me until after I'd done it that I'd just
effectively set SimNerd's gender preference...
Oh, yeah, this won't get awkward AT ALL.

35. Larch: "You're in your underpants."
Cypress: "I like the freedom."
Larch: "...I miss not wearing a shirt."
Cypress: "Wanna trade places?"
Larch: "Nope."
Cypress: "But all the skilling!"
Larch: "Family Sim."

36. SimNerd and Pen: "Larch dances like he belongs in here!"
Larch: "I have no idea what you're talking about!" *spinTHUD*

37. Blite?
Blite: "Yeah?"
...Never mind...

38. Gaius! At the stove! With a spatula!

39. ...Making pork chops.
Gaius = PHAIL

40. Cypress: "...and then I murdered my wife so I could get a Reaper Child! That was the best! My son and daughter were all
like, 'Waaaah, my mommy's dead' and I was all like, 'Muahahahaha, untold power at my fingertips or spleen or whatever!'
And then I got some Aspiration points for seeing her ghost."
Blite: "...Help?"

41. Uranium: "Can it be true? TWO sexy blonde Potty Worshippers?"
Larch: "What's a Potty Worshipper?"
Cypress: "You know, I'm really afraid to ask."

42. Larch: "Um..."

43. Larch: "Yeah, kinda saw that one coming."

44. Salahuddin: "Hooray! No more worry-hands!"
Pen: "Yay?"

45. Cypress: "Cecil was right about the Omelet-Want."
That's not Cypress's stink-cloud. He doesn't shower a lot, but he Primps CONSTANTLY. Nope, that's Vee's Trail O' Stench.

46. Larch: "BATHE, frammit! We can smell you next door!"
This is actually the day AFTER SimNerd invited him over to make friends with him. But now they're friends and since he has
10 Outgoing, he can--and does--invite himself in.

47. Vee: "Cecil's tub-pirating in the shower again, jerk!"

48. Uranium: "I have inexplicably gotten another Aspiration boost from skilling! Proof that aliens are the superior race!"
Vee: "Yeah, well, I'm gonna come over here and stink up your nook!"
...And then I saw something I couldn't immediately identify...

49. Randomly floating dolls of some sort?

50. SOCIAL BUNNY!
I've never actually seen one before. And whose little friend is this?

51. Looks like body odor and Larch aren't Vee's only problems.

52. Social Bunny: "Ahahahaha, Vee smells!"
Vee: "But aren't you supposed to be my friend?"
Social Bunny: "Okay, Stinky!"
I took a lot of Social Bunny pictures. Like I said, I've never seen one before, and it amused me.

53. This pretty much sums up the whole Larch/Cypress relationship, no?

54. Vee: "Make Cecil get out of the shower!"
Larch: "Doesn't exactly smell like daisies around here, huh?"
Social Bunny: "Vee smells bad--but she's HOT!"
Oh, and I was in CameraMan Mode taking these pictures of Vee's Social Bunny. No looking at her Needs or Wants Panels.

55. Larch: "Seriously! Take a bath!"

56. Vee: "You know what? MAKE ME."

57. Larch: "You know, you could work a little harder at convincing the others to be tidy."
Cypress: "Meh."
Vee: *HANDPUNCH*

58. Cypress: "Wow, Spider Jerusalem likes to talk about that too!"
Larch: "Really? I had no idea."
Vee: "WOOO SOCIAL BUNNY! I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go!"

59. Need more proof that Cypress is a clone of Larch? Here ya go!

60. Cecil: "I really am quite content. The lack of an expensive bar is nearly bearable."

61. Gaius: "Hey, is there lunch? I could totally go for some salad!"
Cecil: *eyetwitch*
Wanna know why Cecil turned out to be a cold, calculating sociopath? I'll give you three guesses, and your first two don't
count. Hint: He's Gaius's son.
'Kay, that wasn't so much a hint as the answer.

62. Kirstial: "So, Vee?"
Cecil: "Gossip is so tawdry! ...Do go on, Ms. Legacina."
Vee: "Hey! I'm standing RIGHT HERE!"

63. Kirstial: "She TOTALLY peed herself this one time!"
Cecil: "Scandalous!"
Vee: "Kirstial: You. Me. Insane amounts of unholy power. Two women enter, only one leaves."

64. Vee: "You don't believe that awful story, do you, Cecil?"
Cecil: "Please, Ms. Semper, no inappropriate contact!"
Vee: "...But I took a shower."

65. Yup... that's not gonna come back to bite me in the ass at all...

66. Oh, and one more to Uranium.

67. Cypress: "I can't get to the fridge because Salahuddin's standing in front of it!"
Salahuddin: "We have two fridges."
Cypress: "Oh yeah."

68. Well, this does not bode well for Vee or for Salahuddin.

69. I mean, if you're going to cheat someone skill points, why cheat them two or three? Larch has nine in everything.

70. Uranium: "WOOO SEXY POTTY WORSHIPPER!"
And if you look on the far right, Salahuddin's indulging his masochistic streak again.

71. Somehow, I don't think this helps Vee's Social Motive.

72. Vee: "How did I lose?"
Larch: "Well, CLEARLY you haven't been skilling Body."
SimNerd: "Be nice to my crazy evil people, Larch."

73. Vee: "Let's just stand here for a while and chat, huh?"
Kirstial: "Yeah. Let's just stand here and chat A LOT."
Vee: "Until, like, tomorrow."
Kirstial: "Or the day after."

74. Larch: "There is no escaping the wrath of Larch!"
Vee: "I am so zapping you when I get out of here!"

75. Larch is the first one to root for Uranium. I have literally never seen anyone cheer for her before now.

76. Uranium: "My alien superiority triumphs again!"
Kirstial: "I really have to start sleeping later."
Salahuddin: "WOOO! Yay for Uranium hitting someone other than me!"
Larch: "I still wanna know what a Potty Worshipper is."
Vee: "I'm tired!"
Cypress: *PRIMP*

77. Uranium: "I hunger... for WooHoo. And also food."
Larch: *SLAP*

78. Vee: *SLAP*
Kirstial: "So this one time, I totally won a fight with Uranium!"
Gaius: "Yeah, but just the once, right?"
Kirstial: "Still counts!"

79. Gaius: "Hi."
Cypress: "Hi."
Gaius: "I have nine nice points."
Cypress: "I don't."
Gaius: "I still killed a bunch of people."
Cypress: "I'm working on it."

80. Gaius: "So I think if there's another fire, I'm not gonna be doing so well. How 'bout you?"

81. Salahuddin: "I'm good."

82. Gaius: "Cheeeeeeeeese."

83. Cypress: "If you're good enough for my brother to hate, you're good enough for me to hate!"
Oddly, that was his reasoning behind his battle with Enemy Kevin back in college. And seriously, he's never shown any
animosity towards Vee before now. I mean, except for that one time when he and Gaius tried to make her starve to death, but
he was totally hugging her and chatting with her to do that, not beating her up. Killing with kindness--a gentler sort of Eeevil.

84. Vee: "That has gotta be the dumbest thing I ever heard!"

85. Vee: *POKE*

86. Cypress: *POKE*
After this, Cypress turned around and jumped on the Dance Sphere. Yes, he is a conniving little weasel. But a SMART
conniving little weasel.

87. And DrSupremeNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths seems to have been possessed by the Devil.
Let's just say if he falls off the Dance Sphere and the barf is green, I'm gonna start looking for holy water and a crucifix.
And, seriously, like Cypress needs HELP to be creepy and Eeevil.

88. Vee: *SLAPSLAPSLAP*
This one's for all of you who've been wanting to see this since Chapter 13 of the Dualegacy... Or, you know, before then.

89. Cypress: *SLAPSLAPSLAP*

90. Cypress: "Waaah! She hit me!"
I would seriously love to know what makes some of them cry and not others. Larch only cried when his parents and wife died;
Cypress only cries when people hit him. To my knowledge, Larch has never cried after a fight and Cypress definitely did NOT
cry when his parents or wife died. Kirstial and Vee both cry after getting slapped; Uranium doesn't.

91. But Cypress is still Cypress. Goes from 0 to GRRRRR in 0.5 seconds.

92. Looks like Cecil finally stopped rolling food-related Wants. And now he's back in worry/sob mode. He seems to be very
resourceful, though, so I have no doubt that he'll find some way to save himself again.

93. 35!
Halfway done!
Which I would be so much more excited about if it didn't take so freaking long to get those
higher skill points.
*sobs*

94. Salahuddin: "Hooray! This is painless!"
Uranium: "Is it? I was under the impression that these should be stuffed with heavy objects."

95. Salahuddin: "I love watching it, because it's not happening to me!"
Cypress: "Chick fight!"
Cecil: "Ms. Apocalypso, Ms. Legacina, if you could endeavor to keep the dust cloud out of my chili, I would be most grateful."

96. Uranium's now up 10-1 over Kirstial.

97. Gaius: "I need to potty!"
Cecil: "Perhaps you should head next door, where the commode is."
Gaius: "You make an excellent point."

98. SimNerd: "Um, Pen? I know I asked you to Hang Out, but I sort of meant more 'over there'-ish."
Pen: "Your knee's in my chest."
SimNerd: "You're sitting on my foot."

99. Larch: "This is giving me all sorts of great ideas. Am I right, man? Am I?"
Blite: "You know what, I'm staying out of this one. Way, way out."

100. Cecil: "Expensive painting?"
SimNerd: "What happened to rolling those 'Eat Omelets' Wants, huh?"
Cecil: "I cannot control what appears on my Want Panel. It re-rolls when I wake up."
SimNerd: "That's what the coffee's for--I haven't slept in three days!"
Cecil: "Is that entirely healthy?"
SimNerd: "Do you want to get out of here before you're old and gray?"
Cecil: "That would be preferable to the alternative."
SimNerd: "Then yes, caffeinating instead of sleeping is healthy. Time spent sleeping is not time spent skilling!"

101. Gaius: "CHEESE." *snifflesob*

102. I have given up on Gaius making any kind of sense to me. On one hand, I'm sort of glad that he just pulled himself out of
sniffle/whine mode, but on the other hand, if he'd just made a freaking grilled cheese sandwich, he'd also get points for
having made one and eating it.

103. Can you guess who has 10 Playful?
I'm not used to Playful Sims. Vetinaris are pathologically neat, outgoing, active, serious, and mean, with very few exceptions.
In 5 generations, I've had TWO Sims with more than 3 Playful. Cecil and Kirstial are sort of like exhibits in a zoo for me.

104. Hehehehehe. Maybe Cecil should choose times to tub-pirate when SimNerd's NOT in the shower. Playful, but shy. Cypress
would have finger-gunned.

105. Vee: "Hooray! I can stop making worry-hands now!"
Salahuddin: "That's great, just finish cheating so we can get back to the game."

106. Cecil: "I have stopped rolling Wants for generic skills and specific foods! I need more money!"
I reassessed the finances and determined that SimNerd could quit without getting another promotion. More time for skilling!

107. Uranium: "Potty Worshipper! How could you break the shower? The Potty God is displeased!"
Cypress: "But I didn't break it. Cecil did. I just cleaned it and used it and cleaned up the puddles."
Uranium: "Fortunately, the Potty God is a forgiving deity."

108. Uranium: "Speaking of the Potty God..."

109. Vee: *WHACK*
Uranium: "I need to shower!"
No, I don't know why Uranium was so insistent that she shower instead of going to the toilet.

110. Cypress: *WHACK*
Uranium: "MOVE."

111. Uranium: "I need to pee or possibly shower, and you all need to leave!"
Kirstial: "You need to pee, eh? I remember what happened LAST time you needed to pee and I picked a fight."
Cypress: "Well, this is awkward."
Vee: "We will never speak of this again."
Cypress: "I mean, I know you're magic and all, but..."
Vee: "I said we're never speaking of this again!"

112. Vee and Cypress finally throw down.

113. Vee wins!
That made me inordinately happy.

114. Cypress goes and cries about getting his ass kicked because he is a sissy.

115. And then Kirstial and Uranium got into it again.
Kirstial won again--Uranium really CAN'T fight when she needs to pee.

116. Uranium's not crying because she lost the fight. She's crying because Salahuddin was on the toilet when she got there, and
she was forsaken by the Potty God.

117. Cypress and Vee pretty much immediately have another brawl. This time, Uranium's mad because she's about thisclose to
green-fuming, and can't get to the shower since Cypress and Vee are in the way.

118. Cypress wins this one. They must be pretty evenly-matched.

119. Second set of Enemies in the Asylum!
Cypress: "Hah! I have outdone my brother! HE didn't make Enemies with Vee!"

120. Cypress: "I HATE VEE."
Uranium: "I smell."
Vee: "You totally do."

121. And it turns out that Cypress is like the Energizer Bunny of hatred. This is, like, the third fight between the two of them in
about five real-time minutes.

122. Cypress: "Hey, Gaius, can I borrow your head to use as a bludgeon? I hear they just pop right off. I promise I'll give it right
back."
Gaius: "DON'T TOUCH ME."

123. Cypress wins again. Now I think he's getting smug about it.

124. Gaius: "Get out! I want to shower! You all need to move!"

125. Cypress: "Care to restate that request, Bootsie?"
Gaius: "I mean, uh, maybe you could possibly please... THE EMPEROR DECREES THAT YOU VACATE THE BATHROOM!"
Cypress: "I'll allow it."

126. Number of skills maxed by the crazy evil people: 1
Number of skills maxed by SimNerd: 0
I am getting PWND.
By GAIUS. GAIUS. GAAAAIIIIIIIUUUUUUS.
My SimSelf is getting metaphorically spanked by Idiot Jed.
If you'll excuse me, I need to go slink under a rock and hide in shame.
And with this horrible perspective on the whole sad state of affairs, I will leave you until next time. Will SimNerd continue to
chip away at those skills? How many more times will Kirstial and Uranium and Cypress and Vee throw down? How long can
SimNerd go without sleeping? Will we finally see more full-blown Aspiration Failure? Stay tuned to find out!

127. Blite: "So, could I maybe sit on the couch?"
Uranium: "No."
Blite: "Okay then."