Participants will learn a variety of strategies to promote effective collaboration between parents and staff in order to boost classroom success for students with disabilities.

1. Effective Parent Collaboration to
Support Students with
Disabilities
Nicole Coneby, LSW, BCBA
Assistant Director
Beautiful Minds of Princeton
director_familyservices@comcast.net
www.beautifulmindsofprinceton.com

2. Introductions
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Who am I
Who are you
◦ Job position (Teacher, Related Service, Para, etc)
◦ Age range of students
◦ Placement (Self-contained, Resource, In class)
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What do you hope to learn today
 All of today’s slides will be available online via Slideshare
and Facebook. You can also email me for more details on
some of the strategies talked about.

3. What is collaboration?
Technical definition – A style for direct
interaction between at least two co-equal
parties voluntarily engaged in shared
decision making as they work toward a
common goal (Friend & Cook, 2007)
 Refers to how you interact with
others, not what you are doing
 Occurs when members work together as
equals to assist students to succeed in
the classroom.
 All feel their contributions are valued and
goals are clear
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4. Collaboration is voluntary
You can choose how much or how
little you engage in this process
 Are you a collection of individuals, or
will you blend talents and create
new, teaching possibilities.
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5. We all have equal value
Everyone has a unique perspective on
how to successfully reach the student.
 This unique perspective must be
shared and valued.
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6. Requires mutual goals
Efforts are far more likely to succeed
when individuals ask explicitly about
the goals of the interactions.
 Often these questions are not asked
and it is assumed that we are working
toward the same goals.
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7. Involves shared responsibilities
Critical decisions are shared
 Tasks required to reach each goal are
assigned to each individual involved.
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8. Involves shared accountability
Implies all participants have
contributed to planning and
implementing a strategy and that they
fully accept the outcomes.
 This happens whether the outcomes
are positive or negative.
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9. Requires sharing resources
Each participant must contribute.
 By doing this, everyone shares
ownership for the activity or
intervention.
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10. Collaboration is emergent
Trust, sense of community, and
respect do not happen immediately.
 These characteristics grow stronger
as the collaboration grows.
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11. Prerequisites
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Reflect on your personal beliefs
◦ Do you value sharing ideas?
◦ Do you have the tolerance to change
standards or ideas if necessary?
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Refine your interaction skills
◦ Effective communication skills (i.e.
listening, nonverbal signals, asking
questions, making clear, nonthreatening
statements.)
◦ Interaction process skills (i.e. conducting
meetings, responding to resistance, resolving
conflict, persuading others)
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Contribute to a supportive environment

12. Some key elements
Knowledge, perspectives, and values
must be shared in order for it to be
successful.
 Develop and share common goals for
work
 Must be willing and able to
understand the ideas and suggestions
of the other contributors.
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13. The heart of collaboration
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Forging constructive interpersonal
relationships.
Working towards giving and receiving
help.
Sharing
information, expertise, observations, and
reflections.
Overcoming “turfism”.(Tilton, 1996)
Can’t be about you or your ego.
Working to improve communication
Common vision and purpose.

14. Implications

Collaboration takes time.
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Building trust.
Understanding roles and responsibilities.
Invite and answer questions.
Present information necessary for decision making.
Has to be based on respect that is demonstrated.
◦ Mutually convenient meetings.
◦ Everyone has the same info.
◦ Incorporating and giving validity to different views.
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Means that control must be shared or relinquished.
◦ You won’t always have answers.
◦ Need give and take to succeed.

15. Continuum of collaboration
Informing
Involving
Engaging
Leading

16. Informing
One way flow of information from staff
to parents.
 Not two way meaningful
communication.


17. Involving
An invitation to support an agenda
determined by the school staff.
 Parents are invited to participate, but
they are not decision makers.
 Usually marked by limited trust.


18. Engaging
Staff, parents, students, and
community members work together to
create the agenda, make
decisions, and take actions.
 Develops a higher level of trust.
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19. Leading
A norm of engagement is created.
 Participants work toward a shared
vision.
 Invested effort to create cooperation
and goodwill.


20. Some obstacles to collaboration
Scheduling/timing
 Personality conflicts
 Communication problems
 Resistance to change
 Loss of classroom autonomy
 Fear of criticism or judgment
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21. Other barriers

Attitudinal
◦ Knowledge
◦ Not believing in equality of partnership
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Socioeconomic and cultural barriers
◦ Understanding and honoring cultural and racial variations
◦ Finding common ground in spite of different belief systems
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Communication
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Difference in language
Understanding preferences for nonverbal communication
Preferences for direct vs. indirect communication
Eye contact, physical proximity, overt respect
Fears
◦ Accessibility of staff
◦ Resources

22. Cultural understanding
Other cultures may differ in the way
they understand disabilities and
special education.
 Educators must have a clear
understanding of any cultural
assumptions we have that guide our
own thinking.
 Explore and listen to parents’
concerns and perspectives.


23. Cultural reciprocity

Identify the values underlying
interpretations of situations.
◦ Key: Find out why?
Explore the extent to which values and
assumptions are recognized and
accepted.
 Acknowledge cultural differences and
explain how and why a particular value is
important.
 Collaborate to determine the most
effective way of adapting interpretations
and recommendations.


24. Assess judgments and values
What do you think about the parents
of your students?
 What assumptions have you made
about them?
 What do you think about parents with
advocates or attorneys?
 What do you think about parents that
miss meetings? Or parents that want
to meet frequently?


25. Parents- the untapped resource
Many parents do desire to be involved
in their children’s education.
 More than just homework
assistance, attending meetings, and
volunteering at school.
 Two way communication where
teacher isn’t retaining a position of
authority.
 Many parents complain they aren’t
“tapped” until it’s too late.
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26. What some parents want
Direct contact with teachers
 Frequent and specific information
 Immediate feedback
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27. Engaging families
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Keep promises
Ensure confidentiality
Be hopeful and honest about the student’s
potential
Help parents identify the student’s strengths
and choices available to them
Demonstrate and model problem solving
skills
Accept parents as equal partners and
consider their preferences in planning
Support parents as their child’s best advocate
Take care of logistical details when meeting

28. Effective communication skills
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Use knowledge as a frame of reference.
Understand that there are many “right” answers
when addressing learning and behavior.
Listen (This isn’t formulating your response while
the other is still talking)
Avoid immediately offering advice when
someone shares a concern.
Focus interactions on observable information.
Ask questions to encourage others to speak.
Monitor how much you talk.
Address disagreements as soon as possible in a
straightforward manner

29. More points on communication
Remember that nonverbal
communication can convey just as
much as words.
 Include important information in
writing.
 Disagree without being
disagreeable, and never involve the
child.
 Make sure parents are hearing more
than just negative comments.
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30. The parent meeting

Primary goal of the first meeting is to
have a relaxed conversation to
establish a strong collaborative
relationship.

31. Holding the meeting
Engage in social conversation
 Get to know the parent and child
 Provide and overview to the meeting
 Discuss confidentiality
 Transition into classroom concerns

◦ Start with positive aspects of the student’s
performance before discussing the
negative.
◦ When discussing the negative talk about
observable, measurable facts.

32. Discussing problems with
parents

Change talk- language that conveys a
person’s desire, ability, reasons, need, or
commitment to make a change.
◦ Why they want something to be different
◦ Statements about why the parent wants to
help the student change behaviors
◦ Personal statements about one’s intention to
change.
◦ Role of the teacher is to ask questions that
make it more likely that the parent will talk
about change rather than spending time
telling them what to do.

33. Effective questions
Problems with the status quo
 Advantages about changing
 Disadvantages of not changing
 Intentions to change
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Rule of thumb- If you hear yourself
arguing for change, do something
different.

34. Remember the RULE
Resist the righting reflex
 Understand the parent’s motivation
 Listen
 Empower
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35. Resist the righting reflex
Resist the human tendency to help set
people on the right course.
 Allow the parent to say the reasons for
change aloud.
 Makes it more likely to tilt the balance
of ambivalence in favor of changing.
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36. Understand parent motivation
Values
 What drives them to change
 What drives them to stay the same
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37. Listening
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Use active listening
◦ Allow parent to make approximately 9 out
of 10 statements
◦ Don’t formulate your responses while
talking
◦ Resist the urge to respond
◦ Active listening requires
practice, focus, and patience

38. Empowering
Get parent to see strengths and skills
 Make parents aware of how they
make changes happen themselves
 Show them the child’s capabilities as
well as their own.
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39. Don’t forget your OAR
Open ended questions
 Affirmations
 Reflective listening
 Summarizing
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40. Open ended questions
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Requires elaboration instead of a
single word response.
◦ What are your concerns about…?
◦ Why do you want these changes…?
◦ How have you handled these problems in
the past?

41. Evocative questions

Open ended questions that ask parents
to reflect on
desire, ability, reasons/benefits of
changing, needs/problems with status
quo, or commitment.
◦ “Tell me about how you want things to be
different.”
◦ “What would make you more confident that
this change is possible?”
◦ “In what ways does this concern you?”
◦ “What would you be willing to try?”

42. Affirmations
Verbal or non verbal behaviors that
convey acceptance, support, and
encouragement.
 Key- Must be genuine and sincere
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◦ “You really put a lot of thought into this.”
◦ “I see how hard you have been working
on this.”
◦ You did an amazing job with…”

43. Reflective statements
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Paraphrasing comments while giving
special attention to the feelings
implied by his or her statements or
behaviors.
◦ “You’re really frustrated by how things are
going.”
◦ “You really want what is best for your
child.”

44. Summarizing
Two or three sentences that link the
ideas expressed in the conversation.
 Show listening and understanding
 Allow you to reach an agreement or
highlight an ongoing theme.
 Effective transition to end topic ort
meeting.
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◦ “Let me make sure I understand…”

45. Responding to resistance
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Listen for the internal treasures can be drawn out and
highlighted
Remain optimistic and diligent about uncovering a parent’s
underlying good intentions
Ask good questions and listen for what is truly being said.
Respond with non resistance. Use a simple reflection to
acknowledge the parent’s perspective or feeling.
End with reflection in the favor of change.
Reframing – shift the flow of the conversation and thought
processes away from the negative to a more positive and
optimistic direction.
Agreeing with a twist – a simple reflection with a reframe.
Intended to acknowledge the parent’s position with a slightly
different spin or direction.
Shifting focus – acknowledge and shift to a new direction.
Emphasizing personal choice

46. Let’s watch…

In each of the video examples, how
are the teacher’s demonstrating
effective or ineffective communication
skills?
◦ What are they doing well?
◦ What should they change?
◦ What could they say instead?

47. Let’s practice…
In each scenario we need one parent
and one teacher.
 Act out the situation on the card.
 When I call time, the observers are
going to respond.
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◦ What are they doing well?
◦ What could they change?
◦ What could they say instead?

48. Beautiful Minds of Princeton
“Teach, Reach, & Expand Potential”
For more information:
Call: 1-800-675-2709
Email:
director_familyservices@comcast.net
or Visit us:
www.beautifulmindsofprinceton.com