5. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

6. Same Picture – Different Perspectives

7. Different perspectives 
Different attitudes

8. Need to have
EFFECTIVEINTERPER
SONALCOMMUNICA
TIONSKILLS
to understand and accept differing
attitudes and each other!

9. What is INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION???

10. Definition
• A complex process that can be described in
simplified terms by a Sender and a Receiver who
exchange messages containing ideas and feelings,
mixed together.

11. The Sender
• The Sender encodes the messages
using Verbal, Vocal and Visual
elements.
• The words form the Verbal
element.
• The Vocal element includes the
tone and intensity of our voice.
• The Visual element incorporates
everything the Receiver can see.
The Visual, non-verbal element is
the most powerful element,
grabbing and holding Receiver’s
attention.

12. The Receiver
• The Receiver takes in
the messages and
decode them by sorting
out and interpreting the
elements according to
their own experiences,
beliefs and needs.

13. Why do we need it?
• We communicate in order to:
• Get acquainted
• Express emotions to others
• Share information
• Persuade others to understand our personal views
• Build relationships

14. WE ARE ABLE TO SEND MESSAGES FROM THE MOON,
BUT WE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO RELATE TO THOSE WE
LOVE.

15. COMMUNICATION ROADBLOCKS

16. For the Sender….
• Different meaning of the words
• Hiding thoughts and feelings
Behaviour
Thoughts
Feelings

17. For the Receiver…
• Hearing through own filters.
• Attention filters keeps us from being overwhelmed by excess
sounds and information.
• Emotional filters that block or distort our understanding.
• Our expectations of others that distort our behaviour.
• Easily distracted
- people can think much faster than they can talk (avg rate for
speech is 125-150/min. The ear and brain can process about
four times more and faster).

18. Reactions that block communication
• Judging the other person (criticising, name
calling, diagnosing)
• Sending Solutions (ordering, threatening,
moralising, advising)
• Avoiding the other’s concerns (diverting,
logical argument)

19. How to overcome roadblocks
• LISTENING!!!
• 70% of our waking time is spent in
communication (9% writing, 16% reading, 30%
talking and 45% listening)
• Active listening – way of listening and
responding that improves mutual
understanding.

20. Five levels of active listening
• Basic acknowledgement: includes verbal and visual signs that let
the speaker know we are listening with interest and respect.
• Attentive Silence: Keeping silent to find out more information
from the speaker. During this time, observe, imagine and decide
what is the best answer.
• Questions: asking in order to show the speaker interest in what
is being said and their point of view. Open-ended are preferable.
• Paraphrasing: focuses on the content and clarifies correct
understanding.
• Mirroring feelings: reflecting back to the speaker
the emotions he/she is communicating.

21. ROLE PLAY TIME!

22. PARALANGUAGE (the VOCAL)
• Language communicates not only by what is said
but also by how it is said.
• Paralanguage refers to all the non-linguistic
accompaniments of speech - volume, stress,
pitch, speed, tone of voice, pauses, throat
clearing, grunts and sighs (Knapp, 1978; Trager,
1958).

23. • Timing, pitch and loudness (Argyle, 1975) are
particularly important, as they can dramatically change
the meaning of utterances: a rising intonation at the
end of a statement transforms it into a question or
communicates uncertainty, doubt or need for approval
(Lakoff, 1973).
• Low pitch = sadness or boredom, while high pitch =
anger, fear or surprise (Frick, 1985).
• Fast speech often communicates power and
control (Ng &Bradac, 1993).

24. NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

25. Communication without words
• Do you:
• Use gestures on the phone?
• Misunderstood/been misunderstood by the
meaning of a text?

26. Functions of non-verbal
communication
• Collect information about feelings and
intentions of others
• Regulate interactions
• Express intimacy
• Establish dominance or control

27. Type of non-verbal communication
• 1) Facial Cues
• The human facial expressions associated with
basic emotions appear to be relatively
universal.
• Ekman and his colleagues (1971) showed
people a series of photographs of faces
expressing the six basic emotions (happiness,
surprise, sadness, fear, disgust and anger)and
had them report the emotions being expressed
• People from a variety of Western cultures
(Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Germany, Greece, Italy,
Scotland, the United States), Asian cultures
(Hong Kong, Japan, Sumatra, Turkey) and tribal
cultures (Borneo, New Guinea) were
remarkably accurate in identifying the six
emotions from facial expression by people from
both the same and different cultures

28. Kinesics
• The study of the role of gestures and other body movements in non-verbal
communication.
• Birdwhistell(1970)identified up to seventy basic units of body movement
(e.g. flared nostrils) and described rules of combination that produce
meaningful units of body communication (e.g. the combination of a
shoulder shrug, raised eyebrows and upturned palms).
• There are gender differences: research by Schubert (2004) indicates that
men are more likely than women to raise a clenched fist as a symbol of
pride or power.

29. Kinesics
• Gestures are often classified as:
• 1) Emblems
• 2) Illustrators
• 3) Adaptors
• 4) Regulators

30. Emblems
• Gestures that
substitute for words

31. Cross Cultural differences

32. Illustrators
• Gestures that
accompany
speech and
depict what is
being said

33. Adaptors
• Gestures that help one to cope with emotional
reactions

34. Regulators
• Gestures that
accompany speech
and help to
coordinate turn-
taking

35. Touching
• Social touch is perhaps the earliest form of
communication we learn.
• From an analysis of 1,500 bodily contacts
between people, Jones and Yarbrough (1985)
identified five discrete categories of touch:

36. Five categories of touch
• Positive affect - to communicate appreciation, affection,
reassurance, nurturance or sexual interest.
• Playful - to communicate humour and playfulness.
• Control - to draw attention or induce compliance.
• Ritualistic - to satisfy ritualised requirements (e.g. greetings
and departures).
• Task-related - to accomplish tasks (e.g. a nurse taking one's
pulse, or a violin teacher positioning a student's hand).
» Negative affect (gently pushing an annoying hand away) and aggressive
touches (slaps, kicks, shoves, punches) were added by Burgoon, Buller &
Woodall (1989).

37. PROXEMICS
• Study of interpersonal distance.
• The closer two people are, the greater the
number of non-verbal cues that can be detected
• We use interpersonal distance to regulate privacy
and intimacy: the greater the distance, the more
private you can be.

38. Four Zones of space in social
interaction: how close is comfortable?
• Anthropologist Edward Hall (1966) identified four
interpersonal distance zones:
• Intimate distance
• Personal distance
• Social distance
• Public distance

40. Intimate distance
• Up to 0.5m
• Physical contact can take place.
• Cues come from sight, sound, smell, body
temperature, and depth and pace of
breathing.

41. Personal Distance
• 0.5-1.25m
• Transitional area between intimate and formal
• The norm in Western countries for everyday interactions
with friends and acquaintances.
• Touching is still possible.
• Many cues are still available but effects of body
temperature, smell and breathing are greatly reduced

42. Social Distance
• 1.25-4m
• Typical for both casual and business
interactions.
• Many cues are lost, but verbal contact is easily
maintained.
• Furniture arrangement helps to achieve this –
a bigger desk can signal rank.

43. Public Distance
• 4-8m
• Communication cues now lose some impact.
• Common distance for public speakers, celebrities and
lecturers.
• Lecterns are usually placed about 3.5m back from the first
row of seats.
• Courtrooms use this space to prevent easy exchanges with
the judge.

44. Intimacy-equilibrium theory
• Predicts that when intimacy signals are increased in
one modality, they are decreased in other modalities
(e.g. eye contact with approaching stranger).
• Scenario: crowded lift.
• According to intimacy-equilibrium theory, we reduce
intimacy cues by staring at the numbers for each
floor level.

45. Research
• Proxemics can differ across age, gender and cultures.
E.g. Aiello and Jones (1971) found African Americans and working
class children tend to stand closer than White or non-working class
children. Argyle & Dean (1965) found people in Southern Europe,
the Middle East and Latin America stand closer and some tribal
communities in Africa and Indonesia often touch while talking.
• Middlemist, Knowles and Mutter (1976) – The urinal test
demonstrates how people are often stressed when their personal
space is invaded.

46. In Sum…
• Interpersonal communication involves a sender and a
receiver exchanging messages.
• 3 elements: verbal, vocal, visual
• Miscommunication may occur due to the sender’s barriers of their
thoughts and behaviour, or the receiver’s filters (attention, emotional),
expectations or distraction.
• Reactions such as judging, sending solutions and/or avoiding may also
prevent effective communication.
• Active listening involves basic acknowledgement, attentive silence,
questioning, paraphrasing and mirroring feelings.
• Paralanguage is the study of the vocal element
• Kinesics is the study of body language.
• Gestures are classified into: emblems, illustrators, adaptors, regulators.
• Five types of touch: Positive affect, playful, control,
ritualistic, task-related
• Proxemics is the study of interpersonal distance
• Four zones: Intimate, personal, social, public