Slides from direct marketing masterclass, Dublin 30 September 2011

1. DM Masterclass
Creating persuasive messages and
writing great copy for direct marketing
Damian O’Broin

2. More
www.askdirect.ie
www.twitter.com/damianobroin
www.slideshare.net/damianob
www.delicious.com/damianob
damian@askdirect.ie

3. What was...
...The best movie you saw this year
...The best novel you read this year

5. Propositions

6. Your Message Here

11. A journey back in time to the centre of the brain....

12. “Researchers have demonstrated that [we] make decisions in an
emotional manner and then justify them rationally”
– Renvoisé & Morin, Neuromarketing
The most effective
messages appeal
here

13. Rational
tio nal
E mo
Switch - Chip & Dan Heath
The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt

15. !"#$%&'()*#+'
,(-.%/'*//(0/"1%.2
“When people ask me what difference
345
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5;<=,<>=55 a donation can make, I reply that
4/&*([*2()*#+'G donations to Starship transform lives.
D%/'(@/#@E/(&27(C/(+%&.(F"99/*/'?/(&(F#'&."#'(?&'(C&7/G(H(*/@EI(.%&.(F#'&."#'2(.#(!.&*2%"@(.*&'29#*C(E"J/2K(L&*/'.2(
%&J/(.#EF(C/(+".%(./&*2("'(.%/"*(/I/2(+%&.(".(C/&'2(.#(7'#+(.%/"*(?%"EF("2(*/?/"J"'1(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?&*/(&.(!.&*2%"@K(
Parents have told me with tears in
-'F($/%"'F(/J/*I(#'/(#9(.%/2/(?%"EF*/'(.%/*/(&*/(?#C@&22"#'&./(@/#@E/(E"7/(I#B(F/F"?&./F(.#(%/E@"'1K(M%&'7(I#BK
their eyes what it means to know their
N#B*(F#'&."#'(+"EE(%/E@(!.&*2%"@(2B@@#*.(?%"EF*/'(&'F(.%/"*(9&C"E"/2(&.(.%/"*(C#C/'.(#9(1*/&./2.('//FK((H.("2(&.(.%/2/(
C#C/'.2G(+%/'(&(?%"EFO2(E"9/(?&'(%&'1("'(.%/($&E&'?/G(.%&.(I#B*(F#'&."#'($/?#C/2(.*BEI(.*&'29#*C&."#'&EK(
child is receiving the best possible care
H(%&J/(2//'(%#+(&(2/*"#B2EI("EE(?%"EF(?&'(9&?/("'?*/F"$E/(2".B&."#'2(+".%(&(C&.B*".I(+/EE($/I#'F(.%/"*(I/&*2K(M%/2/(
at Starship.
?%"EF*/'(?&'(/P%"$".(&'("'2@"*&."#'&E(&$"E".I(.#(?&**I(#'(+".%(&(2C"E/(&'F(&'(&C&Q"'1EI(@#2"."J/(RE"J/(E"9/O(&..".BF/K(
)B.(&(@#2"."J/(&..".BF/(&E#'/("2'O.(/'#B1%(.#(1/.(.%*#B1%(&(E"9/(.%*/&./'"'1(C/F"?&E(?%&EE/'1/(S(I#B*(F#'&."#'(C/&'2(A/+(
T/&E&'F(?%"EF*/'(%&J/(&(+#*EF(?E&22(9&?"E".I(.#(1"J/(.%/C(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(%#@/(9#*(&(9BEE(&'F(%&@@I(E"9/K(M%"2("2(.%/(7"'F(
#9(?&*/(H($/E"/J/(/J/*I(?%"EF(F/2/*J/2K And behind every one of these
N#B(?&'(7//@(B@(.#(F&./(+".%(2#C/(#9(.%/(2B??/22(2.#*"/2(I#B*(1"9.(%&2(C&F/(@#22"$E/($I(J"2"."'1(
+++K2.&*2%"@K#*1K'Q<9#B'F&."#'G(#*("9(I#B(%&J/(&'I(UB/2."#'2G(@E/&2/(?&EE(#'(=V(,=8(WVX8K
children there are compassionate
M%&'7(I#B(&1&"'(9#*(1"J"'1(JBE'/*&$E/(I#B'1(?%"EF*/'(.%/($/2.(@#22"$E/(?%&'?/(&.(E"9/K people like you dedicated to helping.
)/2.(+"2%/2G
Your donation will help Starship
)*&F(YE&*7 support children and their families at
their moment of greatest need. It is at
Y%"/9(ZP/?B."J/
these moments, when a child’s life can
hang in the balance, that your
3/?/"@.(ABC$/*: !'()$()
%&'()*&'+,-.-*/-0+1*)2+)2('34+5,&67
!"#$%&'()*#+'
donation becomes truly
4#'&."#'(#9: !"#$##
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345 transformational.”
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16. Old Brain New Brain
Emotional Rational
Automatic Reflective
Elephant Rider

19. The Six ‘Old Brain’ Stimuli
1. Self-Centred 6. Emotions
2. Contrast 5. Visual Stimuli
3. Tangible Input 4. Beginning & End

21. Up 84%
on-year
ye ar-

22. “You” or “Your” is repeated
14 times on Page 1
(and donor’s name appears four times)
Visual stimulus
Articulation of need
Introduces story...
Thanks donor and
demonstrates impact

23. Contrast Implied Beginning & End
Visual Stimuli
Self-Centred
Tangible
Emotions

24. Diagnose the Differentiate your Demonstrate the
PAIN CLAIM GAIN
What is the need? Why is your organisation How are you going to
Why is this a problem for your best placed to make things better?
supporter? address the need? And why does this matter
to your supporter?
Deliver to the
OLD BRAIN

25. Deliver to the
OLD BRAIN
Create
STICKY
MESSAGES

26. S imple
U nexpected
C oncrete
C redible
E motional
S tories
heathbrothers.com

27. Simple

28. J FKFB INAT OUP SNA SAI RS
JFK FBI NATO UPS NASA IRS

29. Simple

30. Unexpected

31. Unexpected

33. Concrete
“Twelve pennies will give a
poor child a day’s treat.”
Irish Independent,
May 1905

34. Concrete
1450 LODESTAR ROAD, UNIT 18
TORONTO, ON M3J 3C1
1010943
YOUR 1 DOLLAR = 2 MEALS

35. Credible

36. Credible
More details
Vivid Concrete
CREDIBILITY
stories words
Active language

37. Emotional

40. “P.S. As a token of our
appreciation for your gift,
we will add your name to
our supporter dedication
wall which will be featured
on the real Rainbow
Warrior. Your name will
stand alongside others
from around the world who
are prepared to contribute
to a greener world.”

44. The Mother Teresa Principle
If I look at the mass, I will never act.
If I look at the one, I will.

45. Every year, 15
million children
die of hunger

46. Stories
Rebirth
Tragedy
Comedy
Voyage and Return
The Quest
Rags to Riches

47. Overcoming the Monster

51. Renvoisé & Morin Heath Bros. Cialdini
Self-centred Simple Reciprocation
Contrast Unexpected Consistency
Tangible Input Concrete Social Proof
Beginning & End Credible Liking
Visual Stimuli Emotional Authority
Emotions Stories Scarcity

52. Propositions, again.

58. What makes a good story?

61. t tar g et
Bea 3%
by3

65. Writing direct response copy

67. ‣ Never use a metaphor, simile or other
figure of speech which you are used to
seeing in print.
‣ Never use a long word when a short one
will do.
‣ If it is possible to cut a word out, always
cut it out.
Geroge Orwell ‣ Never use the passive where you can use
the active.
Politics and the
English Language ‣ Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific
(1946) word or a jargon word if you can think of
an everyday English equivalent.
‣ Break any of these rules sooner than say
anything outright barbarous.

76. Copywriting Case Study

79. Helpline Number
1800 341 900
Clear, tangible, early ask
in standfirst
Content warning
Starts telling the story…
(visual descriptions)
Emotion
Detail (credibility)
Letter mentions “you”,
“your” or “yourself ” 11
times on first page.

80. “you” / “your”
mentioned a further 8
times here
Need emphasised
Deadline to build
urgency
Specific ask linked to
benefits
Personal testimony to
build credibility

81. Emotion (Anger)
3rd Ask

82. Benefit / Solution
Personal and emotional
Benefit / Solution

83. Thanks
Specific examples of
what your gift will do
4th Ask
5th Ask

84. Data capture at top
Helpline Number
1800 341 900
Prominent reference to
€250 tax efficient giving
level
Repeat of call to action
from Margaret

85. The Results…
New donors recruited: 196 (30% ahead of target)
(36% more than 2009)
Average Gift: €141 (Increase of 67% on 2009)
Net cost per acquisition: €0 (down from €121 in 2009)

86. What you need to know
about direct response copy
‣ Long copy almost always beats short copy
‣ Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ but mostly ‘You’
‣ Use active rather than passive language
‣ Keep and language simple, the sentences
short
the
avoid jargon like the plague

87. What you need to know
about direct response copy
‣ Make it sounds like someone is taking
‣ Appeal on the basis of benefits, not needs
(or features)
‣ Tell(make a gift of €25; email your localthem to
do
people exactly what you want
TD)...
‣ ... And make it as easy as possible for them
to do it.

88. What you need to know
about direct response copy
‣ You can drive up response by using...
- urgency
- deadlines
- targets

89. What you need to know
about direct response copy
‣ Tell stories
‣ Use emotion
‣ Make it personal
‣ PS: Always include a PS - it’s usually read
first and most often

90. Make it easy to read
‣ Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif
typeface
‣ Indent paragraphs and vary their length
‣ Break up the text images, handwritten notes
underline, italics,
with sub-heads, bold,

91. Make it easy to respond
‣ Be clear what you’re looking for
‣ Large donation forms and plenty of room
to write
‣ Make forms easy to negotiate

92. Copy Exercise
1. Headline/Standfirst / Johnson Box
2. First page
3. PS
4. Call to action on response device

93. Thank You
www.askdirect.ie
www.twitter.com/damianobroin
www.slideshare.net/damianob
www.delicious.com/damianob
damian@askdirect.ie