FMCS3100 Digital Culture Production Project

1. Caught in a Digital
Romance
FMCS3100 Digital Culture – Production Project
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561

2. Profiles, iChat and Webcams Oh My!
“What was once understood as a valuable component of
American national security has blossomed into an
international social microcosm, where online communities
are created, social networks thrive, business transactions
occur, future marital partners are found, and even sexual
desires can be fulfilled”
- Wysocki, 1998 1
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3. The following e-presentation
considers how the influx of technology
and social media has veered the
naturalistic conventions of romance
and dating.
Today, a field of research examines
this developing civilization of virtual
worlds and cyber-relationships, the
complexities among its inhabitants,
and how romantic interpersonal
activities can come to exist in this
seemingly inanimate and impersonal
global matrix of computers.
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561

4. Relationships are an integral component to the divine fabrics of humanity
and identity. Our notions of self, as well as the reality of the world
surrounding us, are inevitably affected by our ability to construct and
uphold „connections‟. When one examines contemporary practices, it
becomes apparent that interpersonal relations have experienced a
transformation during the last decade of the twentieth century. 2
These „connections‟, which were once established and maintained
primarily via face-to-face interactions, have now come to be complemented
by a digital sphere of social technologies that, in turn, is creating a new
genre of interpersonal relationships. 3
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5. Let‟s Get
Physical Digital
The purpose of this project is to
consider the ways in which modern
technology (MySpace, Facebook and
the like‟) have come to influence and
shape the nature of relating to another
individual in terms of a romantic
relationship.
Specifically, it will consider the modes
of organic vs. digital courtship, the
concept of computer-mediated
relationships (CMR), the marketing of
identities and self-management, and
the argument that technology insights
a pseudo-sexual approach to physical
intimacy.
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6. With the number of connected
users surpassing the entire
population of Japan, this dramatic
propagation of the Internet is
prompting what Nunes (1995)
describes as a „new civilization‟ –
“one that exists on the
shimmering surface of our
computer screens”. 4
This contention can be somewhat
buttressed by a recent Ziff-Davis
Market Intelligence report
indicating that e-mail, or
electronically transmitted
correspondence to another user,
has endured as the most common
use of the Internet. 5
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7. When Culture Goes Pop!
As a result, popular culture media has developed a fascination with
cyber social orders and the incessant perils of online romance. Such
has inspired prolific social commentary as well as blockbuster
narratives such as „You've Got Mail‟ (a film dedicated to the tale of two
strangers who discover love while using the Internet). Albeit, modern
society has acknowledged this contemporary style of relationship
across both academic and cultural planes. 6
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8. Relationship Formation
& Dissolution
Interpersonal relationships do not
come to exist as fortuitous events;
rather they are subject to a
number of variables that
determine the probability that two
individuals will discover an affinity
sufficient enough to form a
relationship. These variables are
likely to differ for computer
mediated versus face-to-face
relationships because of the
distinctive environments in which
each relationship comes to exist. 7
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9. „Rejected By 7 Different
Technologies‟
CLICK TO WATCH: Excerpt from the 2009 feature film „He‟s Just Not That Into
You‟, where Drew Barrymore‟s character Mary discusses new-age dating. 8
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10. Digital Dating + Virtual Relating
In their work „Digital Dating and
Virtual Relating: Conceptualizing
Computer Mediated Romantic
Relationships‟, Merkle and
Richardson (2004) offer a
comparison between computer-
mediated and face-to-face
relationships according to a number
of dimensions:
i. The process of relationship
formation and dissolutions;
ii. The nature of self-disclosure;
iii. Methods of conflict
management, and
iv. The meaning of infidelity. 9
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11. So How Do We Successfully Form A
Relationship – Millennium-style?
According to Merkle and As users, we understand that the
Richardson 2004, the global presence of the Internet:
characteristics of computer
mediated relationships:  Diminishes the need for
spatial proximity between
“represent a developmental and subjects;
behavioral sequence far removed
from customary methods of finding  The textual and graphical
attraction and intimacy with based interface of e-
another person”. 9 applications reduces the
salience of physical
Most research considering this attractiveness;
social exchange perspective posits
 E-communication permits
that there exist numerous
anonymity; and candid self-
discrepancies between organic and
emergent virtual modalities of disclosure becomes
courtship. significant as the only means
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561 for two users to know one
another. 10

12. I Am A Sex-Machine
This lends itself to consider the work of
Susan Bordo (1993) in which she likens our
body to a piece of machinery due to the
advancements we have witnessed within
both medicinal and scientific fields. Whilst
Bordo‟s (1993) contentions have been
branded slightly radical, her words hold
some weight in a culture where cyberspace
dating has interchanged personal, physical
interaction. 11
For example, when one enters a virtual
relationship they begin dating the tools of
social softwares (cameras, instant
messaging etc.). Services that wish to
project an extension or representation of an
individual, but are not essentially an
individual. The traditional milestone of
carnal or bodily knowledge is unattainable
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here. 12

13. This concept is portrayed, once again, in a scene from the feature film ‘He’s Just Not
That Into You’:
Mary: “I like him, I mean, you know, he probably hasn‟t called yet or
anything cause we just had coffee last night, I mean we video i-chatted while holding
coffee. That‟s the same right?”
Co-worker 1: “um, yeah”.
Mary: “oh hi, ….. he asked me out!”
Co-worker 2: “he called!”
Mary: “well no”
Co-worker 2: “he emailed!”
Mary: “uh no”
Co-worker 1: “what? He left his calling card with your lady in waiting?”
Mary: “He MySpaced me.”
Co-worker 1: “ouch”
Co-worker 2: “oh girl, I don‟t know about that. My trampy little sister says MySpace
is the new booty call.”
Mary: “Well what am I supposed to do? I mean things have changed,
people don‟t meet each other organically anymore, you know? If I would like to make
myself seem more attractive to the opposite sex, I don‟t go and get a new haircut, I update
my profile, that‟s just the way it is, you know?”. 13
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561

14. Marketing Identity: Individuals as
Merchandise
Presenting ourselves to the world is a fundamental and complex process,
one that has been further complicated by communication technologies that
allow us to self-present online. 14
Avedissian (2009) reflects on this activity, commonly referring to it as
the „marketing of identities‟. In her work, she states that many of the
apparatuses of cyber-dating employ “individuals as merchandise to be
sold during the initial meeting stage”. 15
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15. Given our wider acceptance of commercial culture and the discourses
surrounding consumerism, it could be argued the reliance on „initial-
impression management‟ is not an entirely novel concept. Cultural
signifiers of dress, speech, gesture, body language and so forth represent
this value, too, in our offline contexts. Yet, perhaps through digitalizing
romantic playing fields, the tools of social softwares have stretched the
boundaries of this social practice, in turn, naturalizing its hyper-
performance. 16
Like the advertising broadcasts from our television sets disseminate the
certain ideologies necessary for target markets to purchase products, a
Facebook profile peddles the ideologies necessary for the social group that
constitutes the audience („followers‟, „friends‟, „potential partner‟ – what
have you) to purchase the merchandise; in this case the profilee. 17
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16. Goffman defines the art of „self-presentation‟ as
“packaging and editing the self in order to create a
certain impression upon the audience”. Online
daters make self-presentational choices regarding
what information to disclose, how to disclose it,
and whether or not to engage in deception, such
that the profile attracts desirable potential mates.
18
According to the research of Hancock and Toma
(2009), these self-presentational choices are
characteristically guided by two underlying
tensions:
i. Self-enhancement, or daters' desire to appear
as attractive as possible in order to be noticed
by potential mates;
ii. Authenticity, or the need to appear honest in
their description of themselves. 19
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17. Up-close &
Personal
Another principle development
with the emergence of profile-
based social networking sites
concerns what academics refer to
as „the laws of attraction‟. Now,
online self-presentations are no
longer limited to text-based
descriptions.
The profile photograph has
become a central component of
online self-presentation, and one
that is paramount to relational
success. 20
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561

18. Getting It On(line)
Ori Schwarz (2010) touches on the new role assumed by digital photography
in virtual romantic relationships in his work „Negotiating Romance in Front of
the Lens‟. The ubiquitous applications of digital cameras, he contends, “have
been incorporated into multiple scripts of courtship, reconciliation, erocticism,
and relationship formation”.
Further, he suggests that due to the medium being semiotically laden,
photographic exchange in romantic contexts is more structured and selective
than in platonic conditions. Beyond the realms of tangibility, this form of
imagery serves as a tool for the production of romantic moments more so than
perhaps in the offline context of face-to-face relationships. 21
Elizabeth Bowen 3095561

19. Beyonce – Video Phone
Once again, this movement has
been captured through popular
culture, and can be demonstrated
in Beyonce‟s hit single „Video
Phone‟ ft. Lady Gaga. The
following excerpt from the song‟s
lyrics signify this new age custom
and how virtual applications
extend the perceptual
connectedness between users
associated with intimacy:
“You saying that you want me? …If you liking this position you can tape it
So press record and let you film On your video phone
me I never seen a smile so pretty
On your video phone I need to know I'll always have you wit' me
Make a cameo So take your picture on my video phone
You can pick your own song
Tape me on your video phone
And you could be the only one”. 22
If you want me you can watch me
on your video phone…
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20. If You Liked It Then You Shoulda Put A
Ring Status On It
Researchers such as Reckwitz (2002) and CLICK TO WATCH: The following scene from
Swidler (2001) contend that with regards to the 2010 feature film „The Social Network‟,
virtual communities, the constitution of depicts Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg
romantic ties should be considered from a (played by Jesse Eisenberg) discussing the
praxis-oriented perspective. Meaning, this need for relationship status online: 24
form of perceptual connectedness is a
product of performance and negotiation.
If relationships types are embodied in and
differentiated by the activities the parties
share in relation to one another, then at least
some of these activities will function
performatively as statements negotiating the
relationship‟s status. Here, individuals rely on
cultural codes in the formation and cementing
of connections, but moreover, they are in turn
constrained by knowledge of how their
actions will be interpreted by others. 23
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21. The architecture of social media platforms relies on applications of status.
For example, in the case of allocating romantic status on Facebook the
user is allowed a hierarchy of options. Those who wish to do so can
disseminate alert notifications to their respective publics signifying the
milestone of exclusivity in a relationship.
Facebook also extends the option of having a link embedded as part of
users biographical information, sending audiences to the page of their
prospective partners. This activity operates as a component of the user‟s
„social CV‟, appearing alongside accolades such as employment, tertiary
study etc. Research suggests that this not only helps to signify the
relationship constitutively (in both a virtual and offline sense), but further
reflects the Inclination for people to assign ownership over another within
the virtual arena. 25
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22. Handle It Accordingly Virtually
Comparatively, the site has introduced a „break-up‟ notifier, allowing
its users to communicate the dissolution of a relationship in a
sweeping press release, much like the role of public relations for
celebrities or public figures. This service also allows relative publics to
„like‟ the event, by hitting a status button and furthermore provides a
„Comment‟ section for discussion. 26
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23. „Was It Good For You?‟
So, do emergent social technologies transform the nature of romance and
intimacy? Insofar as these online connections are mediated by the
technologies of a contemporary world, efforts to understand their impact on the
nature of courtship must be located in a broader set of questions about the
nature of self and identity in a global era.
Within current research, the dominant theoretical frameworks for
understanding digital relations are espoused by a shared belief that we exist in
a time of de-traditionalization. It appears, as Bawin-Legros (2004) argues, that
if we are to view the transformative possibilities of digital romance then what
we are faced with can be described as “a new sentimental order”. 27
Critics such as Bauman (2003) suggest that the art of loving has been
substituted by a commodified imitation, in other words „the love experience‟.
Yet, it appears reasonable to suggest that online dating activities have
produced new norms and opportunities for interaction, while negotiating the
traditional values and networks in which intimacy transpires. 28
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24. References
• Avedissian, L 2009, „Love @ First Sight or Love @ First Website‟, retrieved 20 October 2012,
http://laraavedissian.blogspot.com.au/2009_04_01_archive.html.
• Bauman, Z 2003, Liquid Love, Cambridge: Polity Press.
• Bawin-Legros, B 2004, „Intimacy and the new sentimental order‟, Current Sociology, vol. 52, iss. 2, pp. 241-50.
• Brehm, S 1992, Intimate relationships, New York : McGraw-Hill.
• Bordo, S 1993, „Material Girl: The Effacements of Postmodern Culture‟, Michigan Quarterly Review, vol. 24, pp. 123-135.
• Cooper, A & Sportolari, L 1997, „Romance in cyberspace: Understanding online attraction‟, Journal of Sex Education and
Therapy, vol. 22, pp. 7–14.
• Ellison, N, Heino, R, & Gibbs, J 2006, „Managing impressions online: Self-presentation processes in the online dating
environment‟, Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, vol. 11, pp. 345-361.
• Facebook Relationship Status, 2010, online video, accessed 20 October 2012, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lCgYnKj8EQ.
• Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. New York: Anchor.
• Hancock, J T & Toma, C L 2009, „Putting your best face forward: the accuracy of online dating photographs, Journal of
Communication, vol. 59, iss, 2, pp. 367-386.
• Kraut, R, Patterson, M, Lundmark, V, Kiesler, S, Mukopadhyay, T, & Scherlis, W 1998, „Internet paradox: A social technology that
reduces social involvement and psychological well-being‟, American Psychologist, vol. 53, pp. 1017–1031.
• Leary, M R 1996, Self-presentation: Impression management and interpersonal behavior, Boulder, CO: Westview Press.
• Merkle, E R & Richardson, R A 2004, „Digital dating and virtual relating: conceptualizing computer mediated romantic
relationships, Family Relations, vol. 49, iss. 2, pp. 187-192.
• Metro Lyrics, Beyonce – Video Phone, accessed 20 October 2012, http://www.metrolyrics.com/video-phone-lyrics-beyonce-
knowles.html.
• Nunes, M 1995, „Jean Baudrillard in cyberspace: Internet, virtuality, and post-modernity‟, Style, vol. 29, pp. 314–327.
• Reckwitz, A 2002, „Toward a theory of social practices: a development in culturalist thinking‟, European Journal of Social Theory,
vol. 5, iss. 2, pp. 243-263.
• Rejected By 7 Different Technologies, 2010, online video, accessed 20 October 2012,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gGXylVz6KI.
• Schnarch, D 1997, „Sex, intimacy, and the internet‟, Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, vol. 22, pp. 15–20.
• Schwarz, O 2010, „Negotiating romance in front of the lens, Visual Communication, vol. 9, iss. 2, pp. 151-169.
• Swidler, A 2001, Talk of Love: How Culture Matters, Chicago & London: Chicago UP.
• Toma, C, Hancock, J T, & Ellison, N 2008, „Separating fact from fiction: An examination of deceptive self-presentation in online
dating profiles‟, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, vol. 43, pp. 1023–1036.
• Williams, M 1996, Intimacy and the Internet, Contemporary Sexuality, vol. 30, iss. 9, pp. 1–11.
• Wysocki, D K1998, „Let your fingers do the talking: Sex on an adult chat-line‟. Sexualities, vol. 1, pp. 425–452.
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