The document discusses the revision and editing processes in writing. Revision focuses on big picture issues like development, organization, and coherence. Editing looks at minor grammatical issues like spelling, word choice, and punctuation. Both processes are important parts of strengthening a written work from the initial draft. Revision ensures the overall structure and logic while editing polishes the smaller details.

1. Editing and Revising
Mosaics Chapters 4-5

2. Revision
 The revision phase occurs after the first
draft
 Revision focuses on big picture issues –
development, organization, topic
sentence/thesis, unity and coherence
 Proofreading (or editing) is a different
step

3. Topic Sentence
 Does the topic sentence convey the
paragraph’s controlling idea?
 The topic sentence MUST reflect/explain what the paragraph is
about. That’s its job.
 If the topic sentence does not convey the main idea, either the topic
sentence or the paragraph must be rewritten.
 Does the topic sentence appear as the
first or last sentence in the paragraph?
 This makes it easier for the reader to locate and understand.
 Most of the time, your topic sentence should be the first
sentence of a paragraph.

4. Topic Sentence Practice
I have many friends. I know that if I talk to Sean about a
problem, he won’t repeat it to anyone. He’s also great to talk to
because he never really tells me what I should do. Instead, he
gives me what he thinks are all of my options and then helps me
decide what to do. Karen, on the other hand, is a wonderful
person, and I love to spend time with her. But I know she has
trouble keeping a secret. She is great to talk to about small
problems (things I don’t care if anyone else knows about), but
not the big problems. These friends mean a lot to me.
 Does the underlined topic sentence express the main idea of the
paragraph?

5. Topic Sentence Practice
I have many friends – Is this paragraph about the student’s many
friends, or two in particular?
 A better topic sentence would be “Sean and Karen are two of my
very different friends.” That better pulls together the point of the
paragraph.

6. Development
 Does the paragraph contain specific details that
support the topic sentence?
 Broad, general statements are not convincing, and are often
boring.
 The more specific you are, the more your readers will
understand.
 Does the paragraph include enough details to
explain the topic sentence fully?
 Make sure you have explained/discussed every aspect of
your topic sentence.

7. Development Practice
Which is better?
 Sarah is a talented musician.
 In high school, Sarah placed first in every regional and state solo
flute competition.

8. Development Practice
In high school, Sarah placed first in every
regional and state solo flute competition.
 This sentence not only tells us that she is talented, it also tells us
how we know she is talented, and even what instrument she
plays. The reader has a much better idea about Sarah in this
sentence.

9. Unity
 Do all the sentences in the paragraph support
the topic sentence?
 Sometimes it’s easy for a digression or unrelated idea to slip
into your paragraph. If it does not directly support the topic
sentence, it needs to be removed.

10. Reading helps bring back memories from our own
lives. I never liked to read until I had Ms. Fischer. If we
are reading about the thrill of McGwire’s record in home
runs, we might remember a great sports event in our
lives. I never liked sports, but my mom made me play
soccer. If we are reading about Jules Verne traveling
around the world, memories of our favorite trips might
come to the surface of our minds. I liked Europe, but all I
wanted to do was go home. I was also missing my
girlfriend. Reading is a wonderful way to lose ourselves
in the lives of others while reliving some important
moments in our own lives.
Which sentences are unnecessary?

11. Reading helps bring back memories from our
own lives. I never liked to read until I had Ms.
Fischer. If we are reading about the thrill of
McGwire’s record in home runs, we might
remember a great sports event in our lives. I never
liked sports, but my mom made me play soccer. If
we are reading about Jules Verne traveling around
the world, memories of our favorite trips might
come to the surface of our minds. I liked Europe,
but all I wanted to do was go home. I was also
missing my girlfriend. Reading is a wonderful way
to lose ourselves in the lives of others while reliving
some important moments in our own lives.

12. Organization
 Is the paragraph organized logically?
 Have you used chronological, spatial, or emphatic order?
 Is this the best, most easily understood pattern for your
reader?

13. Organization Practice
I know that I have about three feet when I get out of bed
before I run into the dresser. It is especially bad at night, when I
don’t have my contacts in and I have to get from my bed to the
bathroom. My sight is so bad that I can’t even see three feet in
front of me without my contacts. From the doorway, I then go left
and walk three steps to the bathroom. From the dresser, if I turn
right, I have to walk five steps to get to the doorway of my room.
If I reverse my steps and count backward, I can usually make it
to and from the bathroom without breaking a toe or crashing into
a wall.
Does this make sense? How could we move
sentences around to make it better?

14. Organization Practice
I know that I have about three feet when I get out of bed
before I run into the dresser. My sight is so bad that I can’t even
see three feet in front of me without my contacts. It is especially
bad at night, when I don’t have my contacts in and I have to get
from my bed to the bathroom. I know that I have about three
feet when I get out of bed before I run into the dresser. From the
dresser, if I turn right, I have to walk five steps to get to the
doorway of my room. From the doorway, I then go left and walk
three steps to the bathroom. If I reverse my steps and count
backward, I can usually make it to and from the bathroom
without breaking a toe or crashing into a wall.

15. Coherence
 Do the sentences in the paragraph move
smoothly and logically from one to the next?
 The connections between ideas may seem obvious to you,
but your reader may not be able to follow your train of
thought.
 Use transitions!

16. Coherence Practice
People should spay or neuter their animals so that we don’t
end up with kittens and puppies that no one wants. A family
might have a male cat that they let roam the neighborhood, and
this cat might get a female cat pregnant. Who will care for the
new kittens? Some people give them away or take them to a
neighborhood SPCA. Some people just let the kittens roam free,
hoping someone will take care of them. This irresponsible action
causes more problems.
Could we add some transitions to connect the ideas better?

17. Coherence Practice
People should spay or neuter their animals so
that we don’t end up with kittens and puppies
that no one wants. For example, a family might
have a male cat that they let roam the
neighborhood, and this cat might get a female
cat pregnant. Then who will care for the new
kittens? Some people give them away or take
them to a neighborhood SPCA. Some people, on
the other hand, just let the kittens roam free,
hoping someone will take care of them. This
irresponsible action causes more problems,
however.

18. Revision Checklist
 Does the topic sentence convey the paragraph’s controlling idea?
 Does the topic sentence appear as the first or last sentence in the
paragraph?
 Does the paragraph contain specific details that support the topic
sentence?
 Does the paragraph include enough details to explain the topic sentence
fully?
 Do all the sentences in the paragraph support the topic sentence?
 Is the paragraph organized logically?
 Do the sentences in the paragraph move smoothly and logically from one
to the next?

19. Editing (also called proofreading)
 Editing comes after revising in the writing
process.
 Editing looks at minor issues, including:
 Spelling
 Grammar
 Word Use
 Formatting

20. Editing Checklist
 Does each sentence have a main subject and verb?
 Do all subjects and verbs agree?
 Do all pronouns agree with their nouns?
 Are modifiers as close as possible to the words they modify?
 Are sentences punctuated correctly?
 Are words capitalized correctly?
 Are words spelled correctly?
 Does your paper follow requirements made by professor?
(font size, spacing, etc)