INTERPERSONAL AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS CHAPTER 4

1. Social Protocol, Etiquette
and Communication

2.  LEARNING OBJECTIVE:
 Identify the concept of protocol
etiquette

3. Protocol
• A protocol is a rule which guides how an
activity should be performed, especially in
the field of diplomacy. In diplomatic
services and governmental fields of
endeavor protocols are often unwritten
guidelines.
• Protocols specify the proper and
generally-accepted behavior in matters of
state and diplomacy,

4. Protocol (continuation)
• For example, showing appropriate respect
to a head of state, ranking diplomats in
chronological order of their accreditation at
court, and so on. One definition is:
• Protocol is commonly described as a set
of international courtesy rules. These well-
established and time-honored rules have
made it easier for nations and people to
live and work together.

5. You're at a dinner party there with
some people and you have done your
bit in minding your manners. You
engaged in sophisticated exchange
with your companions. Then when
dinner was served, you were
suddenly self-conscious. You found
yourself not knowing the right cutlery
to use. Ever found yourself in
situations such as this? if you have,
surely a sense of an oncoming faux
pas (blunder) is in the making. And
maybe, a lesson of etiquette should
be planned for you. Before going on
to the definition of etiquette, let us
quickly find out its origin.
Etiquette

6. THE ORIGIN OF ETIQUETTE
 Etiquette comes from the
French word tiquette,
meaning label or ticket. It was
in the form of written
instruction to newcomers to
the French Court in order to
avoid committing a faux pas
in the presence of royalty. In
a nutshell, each etiquette
contains written rules of good
behavior. As social rules
become related throughout
the years and with fewer
people familiar with etiquette,
those trying to interpret a
complicated code of formal
conduct may find it a
discouraging task.

7. ETIQUETTE DEFINED
• Etiquette is defined as “something that relates to a code of behavior
among people within an organization, group, or society. It is a
people-made artificial set of rules often considered by many as
fixing class origin”. (Ampikaipakan nad Asnida Daim,1995. )
• Etiquette encompasses the right image for people. Image has two
components:
(i) Appearance
(ii) Presentation
Appearance concerns how you look while presentation
is with regard to the right way of behaving.
Etiquette falls in the latter component.

8.  The main purpose of
etiquette is to minimize
conflict among human
beings. This happen over a
span of civilization, where
human beings develop
ways of talking, interacting,
eating and etc.
 Etiquette differs from one
society to another and is a
voluntary system of
behavior.

9. THE IMPORTANCE OF
ETIQUETTE Etiquette is not the business of
superficial people, who are trying to
impress. It plays an important role in
forming an opinion of another. Since
you’re constantly judged,
impressions, especially in the
workplace is important. In view of
business, an etiquette blunder may
translate into a lost deal worth
millions of dollars. Conduct in one
culture may seemed classy but may
be deemed barbaric in another.

10.  Some argue that etiquette not only deals with
dos and don'ts in social interaction but also with
looking into oneself and one’s psychology.
 There’re also dimensions of personality
development and emotional intelligence to
etiquette (Das,2000).
 Das believes that etiquette should start off by
getting in touch with who we’re inside, for
example self-actualizing. It's not enough to know
how to behave appropriately if you haven't gotten
in touch with who you’re inside. This is where
self-confidence plays a vital role in etiquette. She
believes that if the emotional part of a person’s
psyche is not uncovered, there is no point in
refining the behavior of a person.

11. CONCLUSION
 In a nutshell, etiquette portrays the right
image that should be in a person
especially with regard to appropriate
conduct. There are many reasons why
etiquette plays an important role in the
different contexts of our life. It
encompasses all roles that we play
whether in the office, at home or in public
places. The important thing is how far is
our understanding of etiquette. Is it
limited it us saying “please” and “thank
you”? Well ,one thing for sure, it
definitely covers more than that.

12. CONTEXT OF ETIQUETTE
 LEARNING OBJECTIVE:
 Identify the context of etiquette

13. INTRODUCTION
 It’s quite an eye-opener watching
people making a bee-line for seats
once they become empty. A good
trick is to muscle your way to the
seat at the precise moment when
some one is leaving it. Or to
whole-heartedly and single-
mindedly focus your attention on
the seat and give other people
the“get loss that seat is mine” look.
May be this is a rather selfish
attitude especially when there are
old folks, pregnant women, or
handicapped people around. Well,
the context of etiquette
encompasses a wider spectrum of
behaviors and conducts than what
can be specified here.

14.  Etiquette is all about presentation. How you put on your best
behavior and the show of good manner.
 However there are two major components of etiquette:
 (i) social
 (ii) business
 There are seven essential part of etiquette (Irene Low [1996]) :
Social etiquette
Dining etiquette
Business etiquette
Office etiquette Telephone etiquette
Road etiquette Cross-culture etiquette
 There are numerous other parts of etiquette. However, only
certain aspects of social and dining etiquette will be touched
here.

15.  Low (1996) puts principle that should be followed within social
etiquette. “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS
DO UNTO YOU”. Putting other’s interest before your own will
project a good image of yourself unto others and general points to
note are:
The use of ‘please’ ,
Thanks and I’m sorry
Give sincere
compliments
Consider other’s
feelings
Always keep
one’s promise
Do not boast
Social Etiquette

16.  As there are gender biases in the day-to-day conduct of our life, so
does in social etiquette. Reminder for manners in MEN can be
taken from this principle:
“Humility comes before honor.”
 Allow a lady to enter a dining
room first.
 Help her to be seated if the waiter
has not done so.
 Stand when a lady enters the
room.
 Place the lady’s order with the
waiter.
 Open the car door for the lady.
 Assist the lady when she is
carrying heavy packages
(Low,1996).

17.  Reminder of manners to WOMEN can be taken from this principle:
“ A kind hearted woman gains respect ”
 Do not hesitate to open the
door for a man with his arms
full
 Be ready to first extend social
courtesies to everyone in
general
 Do not use your charm with ill
intentions. For instance,
 luring a man to buy you
expensive gifts
 Do not criticize a man if he fails
to extend social manners to
you.
(Low,1996)

18. Dining Etiquette
 There’re two types of what is considered to be the “standard”
international dining styles.
 The American style dictates that when cutting food, the knife needs
to be in the right hand and the fork in the left. When you begin to
eat, the knife is laid down and the fork transferred to the right.
 But the Europeans will cut one bite-sized piece of meat and then
transfer it to your mouth without passing the fork over to the other
hand.
(Low,1996)

19. Eating Manners
 Since we are dwelling on
the issue of dining
etiquette, let us look at
some eating manners
that should be practiced.
Specifically, we will look
at the peculiarity of
behavior in these
categories:
While eating
Social conversation
Posture
Napkin and cutlery

20. While eating
 Don’t talk if you have food in your mouth
 Don’t chew with your mouth open
 Don’t wash down mouthfuls of food with water
 Don’t butter the whole slice of bread and then fold it like a sandwich.
Break off one bite-sized and butter it and eat it before going for
another piece
 Don’t slurp while drinking soup

21. Social Conversation
 Do make small talk with your guests so they feel comfortable
 Steer off taboo topics
 Sharing gossips and crude jokes should not be practiced . They can
sometimes turn into conflict between the communicators.

22. Posture
 Keep your elbows off the table.
 Lean forward slightly and bring the food to you mouth. Do not lower
your head to reach the food.
 In between courses, when your table is clear of food an arm or wrist
may rest against the side of the table.

23.  Place the napkin on your lap. A bib
will be offered when a difficult-to-eat
food is served.
 When you have finished eating,
touch your lips lightly with the napkin
and place it on the right side of the
plate
 If you drop any cutlery, ask for it to
be replaced
 Place your cutlery on a “rest"
position (fork and knife crossed on
the bottom half of the plate) if you
have not finished eating. When you
have finished eating, your knife and
fork should be placed side by side
with the fork facing upward.
Napkin and Cutlery

24. Conclusion
 Looking at the examples of what
should be observed during social
interaction, it is clear that we can
make a better presentation of
ourselves in many situations. It may
seemed like common sense to
some. However to many, especially
people from different cultures, this
may prove to show the differences
of what is accepted internationally.
For instance, in Malaysia it is
common to eat with the hands.
However , this practice is not a
standard of practice. So it is
important to take consideration of
where you are and “if in Rome, do
as the Romans do.”

25. THANK YOU