4. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series
• Review
- Sexual addiction
- What sexual addiction means
5. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series
• Review
- Sexual addiction
- What sexual addiction means
- Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior
6. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series
• Review
- Sexual addiction
- What sexual addiction means
- Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior
- Introduced our Sexual Sobriety Map
7. Session 3: X3pure Men’s Series
• Review
- Sexual addiction
- What sexual addiction means
- Accepted, I assume, that we have Unwanted Sexual Behavior
- Introduced our Sexual Sobriety Map
- And just started touching on the concept of change
13. White Knuckle Change
• The change in behavior without addressing
the system, or environment, that is causing the
behavior.
14. White Knuckle Change
• The change in behavior without addressing
the system, or environment, that is causing the
behavior.
• Change in sexual activities without change in
the system, or environment can lead to
relapse.
15. White Knuckle Change
• The change in behavior without addressing
the system, or environment, that is causing the
behavior.
• Change in sexual activities without change in
the system, or environment can lead to
relapse.
- Relapse is when you have tried to abstain (or stop) from using a substance
of abuse but have returned to using it again and again.
17. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
18. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
19. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
- His current job?
20. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
- His current job?
- His vocation over all?
21. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
- His current job?
- His vocation over all?
- His societal expectations?
22. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
- His current job?
- His vocation over all?
- His societal expectations?
- His family-of-origin expectation?
23. Example
• The identified cause of this man’s desire to use
pornography was stress.
• Stress from?
- His current job?
- His vocation over all?
- His societal expectations?
- His family-of-origin expectation?
- His personal expectations?
28. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
29. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
- Heal your brains.
30. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
- Heal your brains.
- Engage in life-giving activities.
31. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
- Heal your brains.
- Engage in life-giving activities.
- Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we
maybe didn’t even know existed.
32. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
- Heal your brains.
- Engage in life-giving activities.
- Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we
maybe didn’t even know existed.
- Become servants of God.
33. Real Change
• Real Change is about making a decision to
abstain from our Unwanted Sexual Behavior not
because we want to please anyone, but
because we want to…
- Heal your brains.
- Engage in life-giving activities.
- Discover that wonderful person who is hidden inside of all of us that we
maybe didn’t even know existed.
- Become servants of God.
- And know God on a more intimate, amazing level than we ever before
dreamed.
37. Example
• This man made a decision to remain on the
Real Change side of our map, which means
that he chose to remain sober no matter the
circumstances.
38. Example
• This man made a decision to remain on the
Real Change side of our map, which means
that he chose to remain sober no matter the
circumstances.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from
work to exercise.
39. Example
• This man made a decision to remain on the
Real Change side of our map, which means
that he chose to remain sober no matter the
circumstances.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from
work to exercise.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would call a friend to get
support.
40. Example
• This man made a decision to remain on the
Real Change side of our map, which means
that he chose to remain sober no matter the
circumstances.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would take time off from
work to exercise.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he would call a friend to get
support.
- When he got stressed and wanted to use porn he thought long and hard
about whether or not he truly liked his job enough to remain in that position.
42. Real Change
• Your addiction, your Unwanted Sexual
Behavior, is not simply a “bad habit.” It is
God’s way of telling you that something is not
quite right with the way you live, and the way
relationships in it, are arranged. If you do not
seek to deal with what is “not quite right,”
either by continuing to use your Unwanted
Sexual Behavior or White-Knuckling your
change, you will be plugging your ears to
God’s voice in your life.
