The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents. http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT

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The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
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Rearing children has never been an easy task. Children are human beings in an underdeveloped
state and just like their adult counterparts; they exhibit personality traits that can be challenging.
Unfortunately, more and more parents are opting for the easy way out and not promoting healthy
development in their children. More and more parents are focusing on the intellectual and athletic
development of the child ignoring the psychological and sociological development. What is a
parent to do? Are there enough words to help develop a truly well rounded adult? Below you will
find the best four letter words every parent should use to rear healthy, competent, loving, and
happy children.
TIME
"Quality Time vs. Quantity Time" has been kicked around for two decades as a way of absolving
parents from their key responsibility: rearing their children. Bussing children around from one
sporting event to another is not quality time. Only one in 16,000 children will grow up to be a
professional athlete. How many "Hall of Famers" have you heard thank their little league
coaches? Unless that person was a parent, the answer is none. How many wealthy men have
left their fortune to any of these groups? However, wealthy men who left vast amounts of money
to the Boy Scouts of America for the same reason: promotion of values, family involvement, and
civic involvement. A parent must ask the following questions: Why am I carting my children off to
all these events? Is it truly for the child or are you living vicariously through the child? Are you
using your child as a status symbol? When we are together, are we talking about the child, or the
activity? One last question, ask your child what the child would love to do if the child could choose
the activity. If your child truly thinks of you as a parent and not a dictator (one who dictates
activities) then the answer might surprise you.
PLAY
Playing is a child's work. It is through play that a child discovers and develops certain skills. A
two-year-old needs to learn how to roll a ball back and forth, and preliminary social skills not the
alphabet. A parrot can memorize the alphabet, and a chimpanzee can learn sign language.
There is no great skill or higher intelligence in that. Playing is a child's version of stress release. It
seems odd that someone who in 1968 could enter first grade without knowing how to read, attend
a school day that included two fifteen minute recesses and an hour lunch, during a school year
that began the day after Labor Day and concluded before Memorial Day and still grow-up to
graduate college and end up a CEO of a major company. Why do we think that play is a waste of
time? Play is fun. It makes you laugh thus lowering blood pressure, includes using various
muscle groups through activity which keeps weight down, and is multi-dynamic: teaches life
lessons, sharing, patience, reading, problem solving, arithmetic, rhythm, strategy, cause and
effect, decision making, honor, self-worth, dignity, self-esteem, etc. Anytime a child plays any

2. game, even if alone, a valuable lesson is learned. Just because a self-absorbed workaholic
parent cannot see that does not make it less true. It is even more important for children to have
parents play with them. Educational television is the poorest substitute for parental involvement,
the parent is the primary educator in a child's life. Do you really want your child to talk about
playtime with an animated character as the happiest childhood memory?
Video games only count if they last for an hour or less, and the whole family is actively involved. A
child that spends more than an hour, and worse, alone playing video game does not gain any
tangible intellectual, physiological, psychological, or sociological reward. Bill Gates does not own
a video game system.
TALK/DINE
Children want parents to talk with them, even when they say, "Nothing" or "I don't want to talk
about it." How will a child know what is important in life if the parent will not talk to the child? One
of the best times to talk with your child is at the dinner table, not in some restaurant, fast or five
stars, but in the safety and quiet of home. Home is safe base; it is a time for the child to have the
parent alone. Practice rephrasing questions so that they are open-ended, cannot be answered
with "yes" or "no." Parents need to listen to their children and talking with them about their day
even if the events may not seem important or educationally sound to you. It does not matter the
child's nationality, creed, race, or favorite team most of them will answer this question the same
way:
PARENT: "What did you do in school today?"
CHILD: "Nothin' "
It is surprising how many parents accept that answer carte blanche. Many adults answer that
question the same way when "work" is substituted for "school." The reason is simple, school is
repetitive, the same subjects everyday. The child is just regurgitating an auto response. The
teacher or teachers are teaching and the child is learning. Try reframing: "Did anything new,
exciting, interesting, insane happen today?" The humor of the question will flip the auto switch off,
and the choices will hit upon a memory. Unfortunately, parents want to hear about the joys of
arithmetic, writing, reading a classic. If parents will honestly recall their own childhood, they will
remember that PE, art, recess, etc. were their favorite times, too. The object is to accept this
answer, expound upon it and lead the child toward the academics. Share some of your own
experiences, good and bad.
Let your children know what you value and why. Why must the child make all As? Is it for a better
future for them, or parental bragging rights at work? Studies have shown repeatedly that the B-C
student is the most successful in life because the student understand failure is transitory and the
student has the power, ability, to effect change upon the grade; the student is not the grade.
PRAY
It is not the fact that God has been removed from schools but that parents have removed Him from
the home. A child who is given a spiritual support system tends to handle the difficult moments in
life. The world is not worse, contrary to popular belief; however, the coping skills are nonexistent.
Everyone needs to know that there is a Higher Force in control when they have lost control. It

3. does not matter how this Higher Force manifests itself as long as it is positive. A centering prayer
is a good way to help a child refocus when Life throws a curve ball. Prayer can give a parent the
needed time to rephrase before reacting in a harmful manner, whether physically or verbally.
Pray with your child, for your child, for yourself, for others who encounter your child.
WORK/EARN
Children need to learn that money, privileges, items, grades, etc. are earned not owed. Children
get a true feeling of accomplishment when they work and earn something. A parent does not help
a child by giving the child everything the child wants without earning it. A baby chick that is helped
out of the shell instead of pecking its way out is not strong enough to survive. It is true with
children who never learn the value and accomplishment of earning something through work. A
parent who completes a child's homework because the child says it is too difficult sends one of
two messages: the child is not capable of completing the work, or the parent is a tool to be
manipulated. Work with the child, reframe for the child, teach the child to ask the teacher for help,
but do not complete the assignment for the child. Often a child is frightened of failure, or the
unknown outcome and is looking for reassurance from the parent. When a parent gives in the
child's unspoken fear is now validated: I'm not smart/strong/good enough.
LOVE
You may not always like your children but you must always love them. It is important that parents
tell children often that they love them. All children go through periods of doubt, especially when
they have committed some offense. Children do not always "know" that parents love them. If a
parent cannot say the words, "I love you," to a child something is wrong and the child will interpret
it as rejection. Things are not love, love belongs to people not to things. It is not money that is the
root of all evil but the love of money. A child will reciprocate to the world the love received at
home.
Lust is not love. Children need to learn that sexual desire does not equate love. If a child is not
shown love at home, hugs for example, then the child will seek that physical connection
somewhere else. Children need to be loved in a safe and accepting environment in order to grow
into loving adults.
Love carries an obligation to be good, kind, and gentle to those who are weaker. Love means
that, though someone makes you angry you have no right to harm them or hate them. As a
parent, you need to teach your child to let go of the hate and anger created by the child's actions
or the actions of others. Love does conquer all but you have to let go of hurt feelings to
experience that caused the anger.
HOPE
Children need to know that "the sun will come out tomorrow." Children need to know that no
matter how hard a situation becomes it will get better, it might take some time, but it will get better.
Children need to know that they are a parent's hope for the future. The parent knows the world
will be better because they are in it. The truth is because of hope the world will get better.

4. LIFE
Life is not fair. Life is not easy. Life happens. Life is disappointing. Life is boring. Starting in the
mid-70s parents decided they needed to protect children from Life. You cannot. Children need to
experience life in order to learn how to navigate past the difficult parts. Children who are taught
they can say or do anything they wish without consequences fail in life. Life means "no" more
times than "yes." The work force has taken a serious turn toward the worst because children have
not learn the meaning of "no," discipline, responsibility, honor, pride, or love.
Life is beautiful because other people share in it. Life offers many fulfilling opportunities the most
important of which is the number of diverse people in it. Life is rewarding because of the beauty it
holds through Nature. Life is worth living because of every single life each person touches
whether the other person realizes it at the time or not. Every child's life has a purpose and it is the
obligation of every parent to encourage every child to seek and fulfill that purpose.
REAL
Aging teaches children the difference between reality and fantasy as long as the parent guides the
child through the process. It is not reality to give children everything they want because that is not
Life. Children who do not learn that there is a hierarchy will fail to become productive in the
business world. The real world teaches everyone that there will always be someone else to whom
they answer. Even someone who owns a business is accountable to suppliers and customers.
The real world proves every day that an adult who throws a tantrum is either mentally ill or
immature and not to be taken seriously.
In the real world, there are consequences for actions. Physics, every action has an opposite and
equal reaction, cannot be denied forever even if it seems a person has gotten away with an illegal
or unethical activity. Every Holy Book has some equivalent of "what goes around comes around."
Children need to know that a parent cannot always rescue them from problems of their creation.
WANT/NEED
There is a huge difference between want and need. Children, by their egocentric nature, want
everything. However, if a parent provides too many material things to a child at an early age then
how does the child learn appreciation or gratitude? If a child needs the latest style in clothes in
order to express individuality, or an item because everyone else has one, or a high tag item to fit in
and the parent gives in without explanation, then parent has proven to the child material
possessions are more important than personal growth.
A prime example of this is the perceived need for portable media devices. There was a time when
a family trip afforded the perfect opportunity for families to reconnect. Only family members were
allowed because the point was family togetherness. The long drive's entertainment included
talking, singing (either to the radio or family songs when the airwaves were not available), arguing,
reading, crossword puzzles, or travel size version of board games. Now, however, cars are
equipped, or can be equipped with DVD players, each child has an individual handheld video
game, several members may have MP3 players, or a member is on the cell phone all this going on
in place of true communication. Children literally tuning out the world with their parents on the
outside. Even when the family shops children and their parents can be seen ear plugged into MP3

5. players, and cell phones. It is interesting to note that more and more youth retreats and school
field trips no longer allow children to bring their electronic devices. One reason is a security issue;
however, behind that is an issue that schools are finally starting to address: personal
communication between students.
Children's worlds are by nature egocentric, it is a parent's job to help them ascertain between want
and need. Take an inventory of a child's room and see how many wanted items have been set
aside and neglected for the latest fad.
FREE
What is a list of four-letter word without the "F" word? The entire list if items are free to every
individual and maybe that is the problem. In today's society, most individuals are wary of anything
that is free. People have been trained to believe that the most expensive is the best, the most
exclusive the ultimate. It is important to understand the essence of the human being: to be love,
understood, wanted, and productive. All unhappiness can be found in a shortage in one, or all, of
those four. Fortunately, all can be attained and parents are the most important supplier.
All parents want the best for their children. However, the past thirty years have placed modern
parenting on shifting sand and maintained this precarious foundation through psuedo-educational-
psychological smoke and mirrors. Professional educators, child psychologists, and toy
manufacturers have made millions on the backs of well meaning but ill- prepared parents. Stop
the decline by introducing four letter words into your child rearing vocabulary.
AE Wise is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writers. AE has been a
teacher, mentor and parent for over twenty years.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=AE_Wise
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The #1 Ultimate Empowerment Toolkit for Parents
http://94e532zp417v0y6bnoneyjqgfm.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=PARENT
==== ====