It's here, it's most likely queer and it's making your tow look like a sissy! What are you going to do? Read it. Duh!

2. We start with a glitch. After
graduation, everything was
hunky dory for young Miss
Daze and her Admiral Alice.
The future was full of such
hope and dreams of a better
tomorrow than the day
before it.
Well, then I started to move
her onto an empty lot and
saw this. That’s not right, I
thought. How weird. But I
thought that it might be okay
when we got started.

3. I was wrong.
‘Alice, I feel all wrong.’
I have a feeling that her
magic red hair has backfired
on her, destroying her pretty
face.
Luckily, I am, if nothing
else, a resourceful and
creative being, and with help
of all holy Boolprop, I
managed to fix Teal. After a
lengthy makeover and a
whole new wardrobe, we
were finally ready to get this
show on the road.

4. ‘*cackle* Alice, I feel
something evil approaching.’
I doubt it, Teal, darling. This
is a happy legacy, full of
light and love and all things
wonderful.
‘You’re kidding, right?’
Of course. I’m in charge.
Something wicked this way
comes.

5. Since I was not in the mood
to build a new house, I threw
Teal and her fiancé, Lore,
into this Maxis made thing.
After gutting and
redecorating it, it was fit for
the couple, if a little bare due
to lack of funds. On top of
the money Teal already had,
Lore brought in $17,000,
cementing my love for him.

6. Three guesses what the
happy couple got straight to
doing.
‘Get lost Alice. You want us
to have all these babies, then
at least let them be made in
privacy.’
Since when have you been
worried about your sexual
exploits being posted about
on the internet.
‘Since always. Now scram.’
Scram?

7. *wolf whistles* Get in there
my son!
‘ALICE!’
Sorry, Teal. I was just
leaving. Honest.

8. Houston, we have contact.
‘ALICE! GET LOST!’
Fine. Whatevers. Spoil all
my perverted fun why don’t
you?

9. Teal is loosing her Romance
ways. She actually spun up
the wants for a restorable car,
and to max the Tinkering
hobby. What happened to
you Teal? We were going to
take over the world.
‘I guess that I just love my
little Martian Man too
much.’
Freak. And should you really
be doing that in your undies?
Looks potentially disastrous.
‘I’ll survive…I hope.’
Me too.

10. ‘Hello half naked green man.
I’m still not seeing why
Alice sent me over here.’
*eye roll* Knowledge sims.
Smart as they may be, they
really do lack the sight to see
the really important things in
life. Like half naked men.
Anyways, that is Darcy, a pal
of mine who is an awesome
person and writer who
doesn’t seem to write
enough. Not at all. I’m still
in the middle or
redownloading simselves
into my game, so they are
currently few and far
between.

11. ‘Nipples at full salute.’
‘Oh…crap. Sorry. I should
get dressed.’
No! Don’t you dare, Lore!
Put on one more item of
clothing and it’s the
cowplant for you, boy!

12. Keep walking Marisa. No
naked alien is going to be
greeting you anytime soon.
You and your beak are not
welcome in these parts.

13. I just realized that Lore
hasn’t had his stats read yet,
so here we go.
Name : Lore Marsden-Daze
(former NPC bartender)
Aspiration : Knowledge
Secondary Aspiration :
Family
LTW : Become The Hand Of
Poseidon
Turn Ons : Fatness/Full Face
Makeup
Turn Off : Mechanical Skill
Personality : Pisces
(6,2,9,4,4)
Hobby : Sports
And I love his shirt. After all
that Captain/Admiral/
Commodore talk before, I
had to give it to him. Nobody
is perfect, except the captain.
Darn tooting, and don’t any
of you forget it.

14. The arse end of the welcome
wagon shows up, and it’s
more simselves. On the right
is me, and on the left is Linn,
another friend of mine.
‘I hate you.’
Why? The outfit? Well, I
thought it was amusing. And
it serves you right. Those
shorts you had me in in our
joint legacy gave me frost
bite. I do feel kinda bad
about this now, and will feel
worse if she decides to kill
me.
I hope she doesn’t.
It’s all just fun and games…
right? RIGHT?

15. ‘So, you’re the cause of all
this?’
‘Admiral LeQuia at your
service.’
‘You’re not as evil looking
as I was expecting.’
‘I am a master of disguise.
Deep down I am pure evil.
It’s just hidden under 10 nice
points, dimples and a round
face of freckles.’

16. Ladies, you are fooling no
one with this false display of
brains.
‘We are Knowledge sims,
you know.’
I do know. You’re staying in
my house at the moment.
Chatting about skilling and
what not. I need more
Romance sims to chat to.
Teal is bust and I’m all
alone.
*sniffle*

17. Simple minds are easily
amused. While the others
skill, my simself makes
straight for the coffee cups to
juggle.
It’s uncanny just how like
me she really is.

18. See? As soon as Lore gets
home, she stalks him to the
bedroom.
‘That bed looks soft.’
‘It is.’
‘Mind if I try it?’
‘Uhhh…sure?’
‘Want to join me?’
‘TEAL! HELP!’
‘*sigh* Will my want panel
go forever unfulfilled?’
It seems so.

19. How can you turn down that
face? She looks like a
fricking womrat for
goodness sake.

20. Okay, I have apparently gone
into stalker mode. Wherever
Lore goes, she goes.
I expect this behaviour of
Linn, but not me.
Linn : ‘I’m not even in the
shot! Leave me alone!’
Sorry, sorry. But she did
stalk the Pokecy V2 until I
married her in. And she also
stalked a few of my other
legacies.
But I am the kind of person
who gets stalked, not the
other way around.

21. Teal, just to warn you, my
simself may have blown a
fuse. She’s following Lore
about with what can only be
called unwavering devotion.
‘No worries. I have a ruddy
great wrench here and I
know how to use it.’
*gulp*

22. ‘Come on Alice, time to go
home and take care of Mini
you.’
‘But I wanna stay and oggle
the man candy. There’s no
men folk at my house.’
Go home, me, and I’ll
arrange for those hot male
dancers from Chicago to
come and visit you. I saw
Chicago the other day, live,
and it was awesome, even
with the annoying couple sat
in front of me. I’ve been
singing “Call Block Tango”
for the best part of three days
now.
Little tangent there to make
you all feel involved in my
life.

23. ‘Lore, I feel kinda sick.’
‘Maybe you had bad beans.
Now, more woo hoo?’
‘Pretend to care or you never
get woo hoo again. I have
other guys to make babies
with.’
‘*gulp* Yes ma’am. Sorry
ma’am. You okay honey?
Want some cake and a foot
rub?’
‘Much better.’
Whipped! *whip sound*

24. ‘This is the first time in
forever that I’ve gotten the
post without there being a
load of love letters.’
Well, we can go out on the
town and throw out a few
dates…please?
‘No. I will never cheat on my
little Lore again.’
Great. I just hope the kids are
more interesting than their
parents.

25. ‘My fiancé is so hot when
she’s parading around
outside in her undies.’
And that kids is about as
good as this chapter gets.

26. Not wanting the kid to be
born a bastard, I have the
couple finally get married.
No party or anything,
because I’m lazy. Just the
pair, an arch and me and my
camera.

27. Overly cute slides without a
real caption to lend itself to
them.
But I had to use this picture.
It’s so freaking adorable. I do
have a soft side too.

28. More cuteness. Sorry, but
it’s almost over now. Honest.

29. ‘Woah! Honey! What’s with
the red rings?’
‘Ummm…’
‘Do you not want to be
married?’
‘Hey, don’t judge me. I am a
Romance/Pleasure sim!’
This is more like it.
‘But I’ll never cheat on you.
Honest.’
Darn it!

30. ‘He he he he. Gullible
husband.’
Say what now?
‘I have to have three kids,
right?’
Five.
‘What?!?!?!?’
Personal preference. Three is
the minimum, but I want
five.
‘So, five. Whatever. Well,
five kids, and then it’s back
to being me! I just don’t
want the paternity of any of
my kids to be questioned.
They will all be Lore’s but
after that…’
Teal Daze, you are pure evil.
‘Why thank you.’

31. Teal finishes off maxing the
few skills she didn’t have
time to get in college.
‘Oh Mr Mirror, you breath is
so minty fresh.’
Let’s leave her to it.

32. ‘ALICE!’
What? What? I was throwing
gummy bears at my cat.
‘Alice, my awesome dress
disappeared and I got fat!’
It’s a baby. Why are all sims
so shocked. Woo hoo =
babies. Say it with me now.
‘Woo hoo = babies?’
Yes.

33. ‘This being pregnant thing
isn’t too bad, actually.’
Good to know. So you don’t
mind doing it up to five
times.
‘I guess not. But I’d rather
not, really. Can’t we keep it
at three?’
We’ll see what the first three
look like. In this house, looks
are everything.

34. Stupidly I left Teal’s
cauldron and spell book at
college, in the Greek House.
I may go and buy new ones
soon, but for now the only
magic we have is here
teleporting about.
‘Super special red-haired
magical sparkles!’

35. Wow, you saved all of three
seconds doing that rather
than walking.
‘Time is money, my friend,
and I need to see if my
dream job is here yet.’
Annoyingly neither Teal or
Lore’s dream job has come
up yet, but I am cheating
(kinda) by having Teal take
every job just to get the
career rewards.
Ain’t I a stinker?

36. Lore, I’m bored. So
something interesting.
‘No can do Alice. I’m
learning about machines and
screw drivers and other
manly things.’
*eye roll* I guess if you
want drama, you have to do
it yourself, not rely on nerdy
aliens to amuse you.

37. Teal! I’m bored! Entertain
me!
‘So the finding your own
drama went well?’
I’m too tired to bother. I
stayed up all night watching
both seasons of The Tudors
on DVD.
‘Well I’m too pregnant. It’s
your own fault, really.’
I preferred you when you
were stupid and danced a lot.
I never should have let you
max all those skills.

38. It’s like the bodysnatchers
have been. Teal is…doing
house work. Call Mulder and
Scully. They are going to
want to see this. *plays X
Files theme*

39. ‘Ahhh! An earthquake!’
No, just another bump. Sims
don’t have earthquakes.
‘Oh…crap.’

40. Lore, you may be boring,
but you do have your
moments of manly charm.
Men are never more manly
than when they are beating
pipes into submission with
wrenches.

41. COME ON GUYS! I am so
tempted to send you back to
college, for the fun!
‘How would that work?’
Boolprop.
‘I’m sure things will get
more interesting soon.’
They’d better, or I’ll have to
make things interesting the
only way I know how. With
pain, misery, adultery and
death!
*lightning and thunder*

42. And Teal has maxed all of
her skills.
‘I am so smart! S-M-R-T!’
You did that last chapter too.

43. ‘So, this is what it feels like
to be you?’
Yup.
‘It’s kinda nice, really. I like
the power.’
But remember, you’re only
experiencing it because I told
you to.
‘Oh.’
Uh huh.

44. ‘Have you been on that game
all night?’
‘Umm…what’s the right
answer?’
Poor Teal. But we’ve all
been there, right? The
sleepless nights where you
just have to get something
done, and then something
else and then you’ve played
through college in one
straight 24 hour block of Red
Bull endorsed playing.
For me that’s every night.

45. ‘Owwwie! You never said it
would hurt!’
What did you expect? You
know how big a baby is. It’s
going to hurt. It’s the curse
we bear for walking upright.
‘Huh?’
Well, birth is less painful for
animals that walk on four
legs. Have you seen a zebra
give birth? Plop and it’s
done. Humans gave up that
ease of birth to walk upright.
Yes, I am a nerd and I do
watch the Discovery Channel
too much.

46. ‘Oh my gosh! It’s a-’
I get to say what it is. Not
you!
‘Sorry.’

47. It’s a boy, which I was
hoping for, as I have mostly
boy names for this
generation. He is called
Rivers, after Rivers Cuomo,
the lead singer/guitarist of
Weezer, one of the best
bands in the world. And it’s
an awesome name too.
My Rivers has Lore’s
skintone and brow hair, and
Teal’s eyes.
And apparently Lore is not
best thrilled with his
firstborn.
‘He doesn’t seem to have
superpowers.’
And that’s important to you?
‘Well…yeah. I want him to
be smart like me and magical
like Teal.’
Well, I rolled his aspirations
at birth…and well, sorry
Lore. Plus, he’s Teal’s kid.
Brains are unlikely.

48. ‘Honey, stop shouting!
You’re hurting his little
ears!’
Wow, Teal is a good mother.
Apparently Through The
Looking Glass has come a
few generations early. That’s
the “T” theme.

49. Another hobby maxed.
Yipee! More plaques for the
wall to make it look super
impressive and like this
family isn’t a total failure.

50. It’s a terrible day for the
Daze house. Teal finally got
her dream job, and Lore is
out earning pennies in a
temporary job, so we had to
call in the nanny to watch
over little Rivers.
Burn down the house and it’s
a world of pain for you,
comprendez?

51. ‘I’m home! And I got
promoted! Again! Give
Daddy some love!’
Your only child is an infant
who cannot even lift his own
head, let alone run out to hug
you.

52. ‘Come on! Just one hug!’
I would, but my simself has
been restrained to prevent
wrench wounds to the head.
Teal gets home in a few
hours.
‘Then I’ll just wait here until
she gets back.’
But…I want the nanny to go
before Rivers gets hurt.

53. I sense a battle that you
cannot win.
‘What? I can take this joker.’
Clearly you need to get a
change of prescription for
your glasses.

54. *choirs of angels singing*
And Teal is perma-plat! Yay!
Her new LTW is to become a
Celebrity Chef, which isn’t
too hard, is it now?

55. These two celebrate in their
favourite way.
‘Alice. Out. Now!’
Going.
There was a lullaby. Rivers
won’t been an only child for
too long.

56. ‘He is really cute, Alice. You
never told me babies are
cute!’
They aren’t. Their novelty
wears off quick. Trust me.
I’m the oldest of five kids.
You’ll get bored of the little
guy soon enough.

57. See?
‘Well, you just can’t
compare a baby to a guitar.’
Indeed you cannot. Guitars
are awesomesauce.

58. So are leaves, apparently.
But is it impossible for you
to wear clothes, Teal?
‘Clothes are too restricting.’
Great. If you become one of
those elderly nudists, I will
disown you.

59. ‘Are you going to tell me to
wear more clothes too?’
Not in a moth of Sundays,
dear Lore. You can walk
around in as little as you like,
because my simself has a
soft spot for you, and so do I,
in all honesty. You may have
once been an overly moral
bartender, but you’re okay
now.
‘Cheers.’
Now back to robot making.
Every legacy needs a badly
wired Servo to wipe out half
the population every time it
freaks out.

60. Ladies and gentleman, the
first time Lore has held his
child, and only because Teal
is at work.
‘He has no superpowers.’
Give him time. He’s only
small.

61. One step closer to my Servo!
I may hate Servos, but they
can be hilarious at times.

62. ‘Who needs a car when you
can fly?’
Double shifts. Teal just got
home in the car, and I’m
sending her straight back out
for another promotion.
‘I’m overworked.’
Me too. I have to act as deity
to all you guys. It’s no
picnic, I can tell you that
much.

63. While Teal is at work (lucky
her) we reach the first in a
long line of tedious and
annoying birthday slides that
will plague this legacy.
‘Humour him, Alice. He’s a
baby.’
Fine. And he does look like
we’ve thrown him a surprise
party. Rivers’s expression so
says “for me? You didn’t
have to!’

64. Oh.
My.
Goodness.
Teal, Lore, you have finally
done something right. He’s
beautiful. Change of hair and
clothes, and he’s perfection.
His personality is just as
awesome. He’s a Virgo
(10,1,9,10,3). Neat, shy,
active, playful and mean. My
kinda guy.

65. Postmakover and complete
with ickle freckles.
‘What’s cooking good
looking?’
Aww, stop it you. You’re
two years old.
That’s it for now. See you
next time for more babies,
more skilling and hopefully
more drama.