The Healing Power of Friendship by R. Murali Krishna, M.D. R. Murali Krishna, MD, DLFAPA, noted and well respected Oklahoma City psychiatrist, has recently published his first book, VIBRANT: To Heal and Be Whole - From India to Oklahoma City which he coauthored with Kelly Dyer Fry, president of news at OPUBCO. For more information visit http://www.drkrishna.com.

1. Dr. R. Murali Krishna, M.D.
President and COO, INTEGRIS Mental Health and James L. Hall,
Jr. Center for Mind, Body and Spirit
The Healing Power
of Friendship
www.drkrishna.com

2. Laura is a new sales representative with a growing company. Although she
doesn’t have to work in an office environment and maintains a home office instead, she’s
seen her work hours nearly double in just the past few months. Her close friendship with a
college roommate has dwindled to a once a month lunch. She feels terrible about it. But
what can she do?
Chad is a busy attorney with a growing practice. He finds himself spending his days
– and nights – meeting deadlines, preparing for trials and engaged in lengthy telephone
conferences. Over the past year, he’s had less and less time to spend with a group of golfing
buddies.
Barbara was promoted to director of her department six months ago. She’s
found herself at the office at least one day each weekend. She also brings work home, while
her husband takes of care of the evening rituals of feeding, bathing and tucking in their
two young children. She’s often at her computer monitor until bedtime.
>> It seems to be a growing conflict in many professions (a recent survey of lawyers in
Boston, for example, found that 43 percent of new associates quit within three years
because they believed they had to choose between a career and a family). Not only are
families and jobs increasingly at odds, friendships are also often falling victim to the
busy workplace our superheated economy has created.
>> While the fictional characters of the NBC hit sitcom “Friends” continue to lounge on
couches at a New York coffee shop, the rest of us are finding it more difficult to fit
friendship into our busy lives.
>> While the fictional characters of the NBC
hit sitcom “Friends” continue to lounge
on couches at a New York coffee shop,
the rest of us are finding it more difficult
to fit friendship into our busy lives.
The consequences may be
more than just a lack of a
social life. Our health and
well-being are at stake
too.
Blame it on longer work hours, more insulation in the electronic cocoons of our homes or
even the wall that e-mail tends to place between us.
Whatever the cause, The Wall Street Journal recently felt compelled to ask,
“Whatever Happened to Friendship?”
The Healing Power of Friendship
www.drkrishna.com

3. As a culture, we may be abandoning friendship at our own peril. Medical research is
showing the more healthy relationships you have, the better off you are. True friendship
and sound health are inextricably linked.
Having friends not only gives you more meaning and purpose, it also lessens
your stress level and may even add years to your life.
In my own experience, I’ve found there are three levels of healthy relationships
central to fulfilling that most basic of human needs – connection:
>> Friendship with yourself
>> Friendship with a higher power
>> Friendship with others
>> In our present society, we have a lot of “hi-and-goodbye” relationships. Few are able to
develop long-term, nurturing and supportive relationships.
>> In the United States, a quarter of our population moves every year. We pack our bags
and move somewhere else, establishing new contacts. We may be better off in terms of
salary and jobs and stature, but we’re lacking in something else.
>> We humans have a need to connect, and that need is artificially taken away from us by
modern culture and modern technology. Even the bravest of our explorers throughout
history had a need to connect with other people. Christopher Columbus wanted to
discover the New World so that he could return to the Old World to share the news.
When we deprive ourselves of connection, we rob ourselves of a key component of healthy
living. You need to look no further than the latest science for proof of this. Medical research
on the positive effects of friendship is striking:
>> Researchers at Yale University surveyed death rates among 10,000 seniors with
different degrees of social contact. They discovered a 50 percent reduction in the risk of
death over a five-year period.
>> A study last year at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center looked at the health
status of 2,800 seniors. Seniors with friends had a lower risk of disabling health
problems and recovered faster when they became ill. The more friends, the greater the
health benefits.
>> Researchers studied 7,000 people in Alameda County, California over a nine-year
period. People with the most social support and connectedness had the best health and
long life. People with poor ties died two to five times higher than people with solid
social ties.
The Healing Power of Friendship
www.drkrishna.com

4. More research is also turning up the dark side. Isolation is bad for you:
>> Researchers studied the impact of living alone after a heart attack. They tracked about
1,200 heart-attack patients for an average of two years. In this time, the patients who
lived alone, compared to those with companions, had twice the risk of a second heart
attack and twice the risk of dying.
>> Connecticut researchers tracked for six months nearly 200 men and women over age 65
who had a major heart attack. During this time, nearly 40 percent of the patients died.
Taking into account the usual risk factors, lack of emotional support was deadly.
Compared to those who had close friends, men and women who said they had no
emotional support were three times as apt to die.
>> Emotionally-abandoned babies develop a syndrome called “failure to thrive.” As a result
of severe loneliness, the babies’ pituitary glands fail to produce sufficient growth
hormone. These children literally wither away, despite having adequate nutrition. Many
of them die before reaching toddler hood. Those who survive are emotionally damaged.
It seems clear that maintaining healthy ties to other people
can have a significant impact on our health.
But how do we do it in today’s super-fueled Information Age?
We should focus on having a handful of quality relationships. It’s also valuable to maintain a
few healthy relationships in different spheres of life. An obvious friendship can be had with
your spouse, another with one or two colleagues, and another with one of your neighbors.
>> Many urban professionals who want to foster friendships often face the constant twin
challenges of deadline pressure and competition. But to experience close friendship, we
must be willing to shed some of our professional armor.
>> Sharing is one of the most important qualities of genuine friendship. You should be
willing to open up to this other person you call your friend. It must be a mutual
exchange, an interaction. You must feel comfortable sharing opinions, ideas, feelings,
hopes, frustrations and dreams. And you should offer feedback, advice and sometimes
admonition.
Sharing is one of the most
important qualities of
genuine friendship.
The Healing Power of Friendship
www.drkrishna.com

5. >> In your friendship with yourself, this process can work through keeping a daily journal,
where you share with your own spirit and heart the issues that are most important to
you. In your relationship with a higher power, you can experience a similar exchange
through prayer.
>> In friendships with others, simply sharing a common activity can open your relationship
up to a deeper kind of understanding. It can be something quite superficial, such as golf,
tennis, fishing or riding bicycles. These common bonds act as a glue that keeps
relationships together until they mature and strengthen.
Henry Adams once wrote,
“One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many;
three are hardly possible.”
He may have been right. But I tend to think we can find many meaningful friendships in
our professions, our communities and even within ourselves.
Forging friendships is a powerful tool that can shape your life
and give your daily existence more meaning.
And it seems to be an almost magical tool for improving your health.
The Healing Power of Friendship
www.drkrishna.com

6. About the Author
R. Murali Krishna, MD, DLFAPA is a psychiatric expert and pioneer in mind, body, spirit
connection. His study of the brain has given him insight to the why of mental health and the how
of living a healthy, vibrant life. Dr. Krishna’s mental health knowledge and experience is valuable
and unique not only because of his extensive study and research of brain function, but also
because of his true empathy. He has recently published his first book, VIBRANT: To Heal and Be
Whole From India to Oklahoma City which he coauthored with Kelly Dyer Fry, president of news
at OPUBCO.
R. Murali Krishna, MD, DLFAPA
Co-Founder & President, James L. Hall, Jr Center for Mind, Body and Spirit
President & COO, INTEGRIS Mental Health
President, Oklahoma State Board of Health
Founding President, Health Alliance for the Uninsured
Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Univ. of OK Health Sciences Center
Dr. Krishna, an inspiring and engaging speaker, educates his audiences on the latest science in
mental health and the healing power of the mind, body, spirit medicine connection. He is often
interviewed by television and print news organizations for his expert opinion on mental and
emotional health issues. For more information visit www.drkrishna.com
About the Book
Dr. Krishna has recently published his first book, VIBRANT: To Heal and Be Whole From India
to Oklahoma City which he coauthored with Kelly Dyer Fry, president of news at OPUBCO.
In this book, Dr. Krishna shares his insights on human resilience and the power of living a
vibrant life. He draws upon his own childhood experiences in India; coming to Oklahoma, his
passion for helping people understand the importance of a mind, body, spirit connection; and his
efforts to help people move forward following the tragic 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah
Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
In this book Dr. Krishna reveals the secrets to living a vibrant life while overcoming:
Anxiety
Trauma
Sleep dysfunction
Stress
Obesity
Emotional dysfunction
Depression
Addiction
Substance abuse
Loss
Anger
Unresolved issues
Relationship stress
Mental illness
Alcoholism
www.drkrishna.com