We can begin to ‘re-frame’ the way we look at ourselves, and our beliefs about ourselves and others --- by changing our behavior --- which then changes the neuropathways in our brains, so that the new behaviors we practice can permanently change the way we think about ourselves. An excellent way to take advantage of this breakthrough begins with examining our current interpretation and response to our experiences.

1. EQ
The Power of Neutral

2. Emotional Intelligence
To review, Emotional Intelligence (EQ), is our ability to
perceive, understand and manage our emotions and
feelings.
Our beliefs about ourselves in great part forms the
foundation of our emotional intelligence. Until recently
we all thought these beliefs and thoughts were pretty
much set and unchangeable.
But current research is proving that we can change our
‘brain patterns’ by changing our behavior (this is called
neuroplasticity), and therefore change our thoughts.

3. Re-Framing
We can begin to ‘re-frame’ the way we look at ourselves,
and our beliefs about ourselves and others --- by
changing our behavior --- which then changes the
neuropathways in our brains, so that the new behaviors
we practice can permanently change the way we think
about ourselves.
An excellent way to take advantage of this breakthrough
begins with examining our current interpretation and
response to our experiences.

4. Experiences
• We have all heard the adage, perception is
reality. Simply put, it means that what we
experience and what we feel, we interpret as
reality, or fact (see illustration on the next
slide).
• Then, when we recall the event, we often recall
how we interpreted the event or situation
through the ‘lens’ of our perception.
• Obviously, this can be problematic because
others who were part of the experience may
not recall the event the way we do.

5. Event Experience/Perception
Emotional Reaction =
Reality/Fact
Experience Sequence

6. EQ: Self-Awareness
• Developing our EQ can help us be responsive and
proactive vs. reactive during highly charged situations.
• We do this by being self-aware during our experience.
Self-Awareness means neutrally noticing what is going
on, being curious about what is going on, allowing our
emotions to express themselves but not dominate or
‘color’ our perceptions.
• In this way we can have a response and recollection of
the experience that is more balanced and accurate (see
illustration on next slide).

7. Event
Noticing
Neutrally
Noticing w/
Curiosity
Experience
Emotional
Response
Integrated/Balanced
Response
Preferred Experience Sequence

8. Why Is This Important?
• Our emotional ‘hooks’ or ‘triggers’ are often set up
early in life
• We don’t always know we are carrying them
• They can become a ‘lens’, that may color our
reactions in situations i.e. this simply means if we
don’t maintain neutrality and curiosity – we may
see injury and insult when none was intended.

9. Events Are Neutral
• Events are exactly what you may expect - - something
happens.
• We often say that events are good or bad, but events,
in themselves are not bad or good.
• Rain is a natural process to help plants grow but when
it affects us we often attribute good or bad to it e.g. rain
is good in a drought, bad at a picnic… the rain didn’t
change, how we looked at it did.

10. Thinking about Events
Try this:
1. Recount what happened during the event factually.
2. Notice what emotions you may be having without
making it mean that anyone involved intended to hurt
you – keep feeling the emotion, just don’t let it control
you!
3. Think about the situation with curiosity and an open
mind
4. Now….you are ready to think or do the next thing!

11. Actually noticing and
staying neutral can
allow us to truly ‘hear’
someone and to not
damage ourselves
with our worst fears
This shift makes
you a proactive
participant in
your EQ story
The Power of Neutral

12. Thanks
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