Resolve Workplace Conflict in 5 Steps

How to resolve
conflict in the workplace

How to resolve conflict in the workplace

Let’s cut to the chase.
Conflict is an inevitable
part of life.

We either cause it or
are victims of it.

© Transnational Management Associates Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

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Whether it’s at home
or in the workplace,
conflict can erode

relationships, spread to
others who were not
originally part of the
conflicting situation
and cause so much
disharmony,
that business is
adversely affected.


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Let me shoot some facts at you, which will hopefully
whet your appetite to know how to tackle
conflict head-on

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Unresolved conflict represents the
largest reducible cost in many
businesses, yet it remains largely
unrecognized

The total value of lost work time due
to stress is estimated to be $1.7 billion

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Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a
decisive factor in at least 50% of
departures.

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4

Conflict accounts for up to 90% of
involuntary departures, with the
possible exception of staff reductions
due to downsizing and restructuring
Up to 30% of a typical manager’s time
is spent dealing with conflict

If you are a manager – the last fact is a scary statistic and
really underlines the need to get a better grip on dealing with
conflict.


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With this in mind, let’s take a look at
some golden rules when approaching conflict
and the first top tip is this:

Conflict doesn’t
necessarily have to be a
bad thing!

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This piece of enlightenment should be
embraced as most of us invariably shy away
from conflict or relish the prospect of going
toe-to-toe with our nemesis.

We’ll consider this passive or aggressive
stance a little later.
For now, understand and accept this simple
truth…


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It’s not the conflict that’s the problem, it’s
the way we deal with it that is.
If you see conflict as an opportunity that
presents a chance to enter into good
dialogue, then you’re half-way there.
This positive attitude really does make a
difference psychologically and will
subconsciously spread to all those involved.


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9


STRATEGIZE
Managers who are adept at
dealing with conflict often make
it look easy.

What is it about their laid back,
self-confident and approachable
demeanour?

Consider these three steps:

1
Diagnose
the
Problem

2
Strategize
for it

3
Solve
it

So let’s consider what each stage
entails…

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STRATEGIZE
Rest-assured, under that veneer
of calm – there lies an individual
who has invested time studying
the magic of interpersonal
effectiveness.
Good managers make it look
easy because they have put all
the right mechanisms into place
in the first instance.

Consider these three steps:

1
Diagnose
the
Problem

2
Strategize
for it

3
Solve
it

So let’s consider what each stage
entails…

1.
Diagnose the
Problem

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Firstly, it’s critical to understand
the conflict in the first place.
Ask yourself some questions:



Why has this happened? Is there a
history to this conflict?



Who are the main players?



How am I perceiving this conflict?



What is the balance of power?



What is the scope of the conflict now?
What about tomorrow?




What’s going on?

In what direction will the escalation go?
Up, down, across or every which way?

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1.
Diagnose the
Problem
Managers who take the time to
diagnose conflict have invested
their time wisely.
Having a better appraisal of the
situation allows you to facilitate
the right dialogue.


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2.
Strategize for it

In the 1970s, Kenneth W. Thomas and
Ralph H. Kilmann identified five styles of
dealing with conflict.
They argued that people typically have a
preferred style, ranging from a more
assertive to passive style of conflict
management.
They also noted that different styles were
most useful in different situations.

They developed the Thomas-Kilmann
Conflict Mode Instrument.
The styles are as follows:


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2.
Strategize for it
ASSERTIVE
Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding

Accommodating

UNASSERTIVE


COOPERATIVE

UNCOOPERATIVE

Competing

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2. Strategize for it
COMPETING

People who have a preference for a
competing style take a firm stance and
know exactly what they want.

These individuals tend to operate from a
position of power drawn from expertise or
persuasive ability. This style can be useful
when there is an emergency and a
decision needs to be made fast, also when
the decision is unpopular or when
defending against someone who is trying
to exploit a situation.

However it can leave people feeling
resentful when used in less urgent
situations and when applied for every
situation.

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COLLABORATIVE

People who have a tendency to employ a
collaborative style try to meet the needs
and expectations of all individuals
involved.

This style is useful when you need to
bring together a variety of viewpoints to
get the best solution, when there have
been previous conflicts in the group, or
when the situation is too important for a
simple trade-off.

However, one disadvantage is that the
collaborative approach can be time
consuming when trying to meet
everyone’s needs.

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COMPROMISING

People who prefer a compromising style
try to find a solution that will at least
partially satisfy everyone.

Everyone is expected to give up
something and the compromiser him- or
herself also expects to relinquish
something.

This style is useful when the cost of
conflict is higher than the cost of losing
ground, when equal strength opponents
are at a standstill and when there is a
deadline looming. However, the
disadvantage of compromising is just that.
When you compromise you have to be
prepared to sacrifice something.

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COMPROMISING
ACCOMMODATING

With the accommodating style, you try to
meet the needs of others at the expense
of your own needs.

The accommodator often knows when to
give in to others, but can be persuaded to
surrender a position even when it is not
warranted. This person is not assertive but
is highly cooperative.

Accommodation is appropriate when the
issues matter more to the other party.
This is a nice style to use when you want
to generate good will, but if you
accommodate all the time, you will be
taken advantage of.

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AVOIDING

People who use this style tend to dodge
the conflict entirely.

This style is typified by delegating
controversial decisions, accepting default
decisions and not wanting to hurt
anyone's feelings.

It can be appropriate when victory is
impossible, when the controversy is
trivial, or when someone else is in a better
position to solve the problem. However in
many situations this is a weak and
ineffective approach to take and if you
choose to always employ this style, you’ll
be perceived as weak and incapable of
managing situations.


The key to using these conflict management styles is by
understanding that if you predominantly use the same style all
the time, you’re probably using the wrong style, most of the
time.
A good conflict handler has the ability to flex their style,
knowing which one to use given the situation they are
confronted with.
This brings us to the third and final element of effectively
strategizing for greater conflict management.

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3.
Solve it

This stage looks at actually having the
conversation and that conversation could
be structured in the following way:

1
2

Inquiry

3

Acknowledgement

4

An invitation to
partner

5

Opening

Problem solving

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3. Solve it

1

Opening

Offer a few of these openers and
then ask for some input:
 I need your help understanding what
just happened. Can we talk?
 I have something I’d like to discuss with
you that I think will help us work
together more effectively.

 I’d like to talk about…, but first I’d like
to get your point of view.


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3. Solve it

2

Inquiry

 Get the facts and feelings.
 Beware of assumptions, preconceptions
and your emotion.
 Be curious rather than furious. Learn
about the other person’s point of view,
how do things affect them, and what
are their values and priorities?
 Let the person talk until they’re
finished. Don’t interrupt except to
acknowledge. You’ll get your turn. Don’t
rush. Whatever you hear, don’t take it
personally.


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3. Solve it

3

Acknowledgement

 Don’t argue about who’s right, explore
each other’s stories.
 Arguing without understanding their
perspective is unpersuasive.

4

An invitation to
partner

 When the person has expressed all their
energy on a topic, it’s your turn.

 What can you see from your
perspective that they have
missed? Help to clarify your position
without minimizing theirs.
 Draw the person into seeking a
mutually beneficial solution.


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3. Solve it

5

Problem solving

 When it comes to problem solving,
take the lead.
 Ask the other person what they think
would work.
 Whatever they say, find something
you can work with and build on.
 If the conversation becomes
adversarial, go back to inquiry.


Before we
conclude

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Before we conclude this article on how to
manage conflict, I mentioned that we’d
consider the issues of passivity and
aggression.

I’d like you to reflect on what your natural
orientation would be.

You may well be a more aggressive
individual, ready to stand their ground and
not shy of getting into conflict.


Before we
conclude

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Conversely, you may find this
uncomfortable – preferring to avoid conflict
at all costs.

Neither position helps you deal with
conflict. The only way to we effectively
manage conflicting situations is to learn the
skill of assertiveness.

For it is a skill – rather than
something we are born with.


Before we
conclude

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You may argue that by being aggressive,
you will get what you want.

Well – very possibly, but only in the short
term and in the meantime you will build up
a great deal of resentment from those you
bully and cajole into doing what serves you
best.


Before we
conclude

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Equally, passive people may keep their
heads below the parapets and acquiesce
when pressed – thus avoiding conflict, but
ultimately they will be overburdened with
tasks.

Effectively, they will become the proverbial
office beast of burden.


Before we
conclude

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Being assertive will give you the

tools to cope with conflict far more
effectively.


Before we
conclude

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Specifically, if aggression equals

my needs are greater than your
needs and passivity equals
your needs are greater than my

needs, then assertiveness is my
needs are equal to your needs.


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Conclusion
By learning to be
assertive, you’ll:

In conclusion, adopting these

 Avoid finger
pointing

guarantee that you will gain a

best practices will not

 Do your part in
fostering a blamefree culture

favourable outcome each and

 Communicate in a
respectful way –
thus initiating a
respectful
transaction of
views

guarantee that you have done

 Be confident that
you have
conducted yourself
in a professional
manner.

better about dealing with a


every time, but it will
everything possible to have
better conversations and that
in itself, will make you feel
part of life that can cause so
much stress.

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Written by Terence Brake, Director of Learning &
Innovation at TMA World.

Visit
www.tmaworld.com/insights

to discover the latest
thinking from our experts
on global, collaborative,
cross-cultural and virtual
working. There you’ll find
links to our:


Our new Borderless Working e-book series

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About Us
Visit
www.tmaworld.com/insights

to discover the latest
thinking from our experts
on global, collaborative,

Above all we’d like to hear from you
directly, so please don’t hesitate to send
any comments, questions or feedback
to us at: enquiries@tmaworld.com

cross-cultural and virtual
working.

Or visit our website:
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Resolve Workplace Conflict in 5 Steps

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