1. Difficult Conversations in Creative Environments ~ IA Summit 2009 Presentation Transcript
• 1. Mastering Difficult Conversations Dan Brown & Chris Detzi EightShapes, LLC IA
Summit 2009, Memphis, TN
• 2. Introductions
• 3. About Us Who we are Why we’re here
• 4. About You Your Name Your Occupation Why you’re here
• 5. Our Agenda Introductions done! Best Practices 15 minutes A Model 15 minutes The
People 60 minutes The Situations 60 minutes Sample Scenarios 30 minutes Summary of
Techniques 30 minutes
• 6. Let’s Start with the Basics the Basics Communication Best Practices
• 7. Be Positive Engage Your Audience Empathize Lighten Up
• 8. Rephrase the negative statements Negative = "We can't start until we get
requirements" Positive = "Please give us the requirements so we can
start." Rise above the Naysayers “ We can’t do that.” “ That’s way to complicated.”
Always Start with the Good “ What I like about this so far is....” Openness over
Defensiveness “ I think that’s a great idea. Perhaps we can talk about it how it might
work?” Communication Best Practices Be Positive
• 9. Personalize the Message “ Great Question, Molly .” “ Jason , what do you think about
that?” Repeat the Questions You’re Asked “ So the question is .... Did I get that right?”
Position Your Questions for Success Use Humor Communication Best Practices Engage
Your Audience
• 10. Know the situations, not just the people Listen and Seek to Understand Don’t be
quick to dismiss (even if you disagree) Respond with an acknowledgement of situation /
emotion Communication Best Practices Empathize
• 11. Humor can be a powerful communication tool Reduces anxiety and hostile moods
Establishes a positive environment Helps “gauge” the audience Provides a way to make a
point, without attacking Does not have to mean insincerity or frivolity Make it relevant
Be on the lookout for material Prep & Plan (don’t assume it will just ‘come to you’)
When in doubt, point to yourself Communication Best Practices Lighten Up
• 12. A Site Map of Communications A model for interpersonal interactions
• 13. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 14. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 15. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 16. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 17. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009

2. • 18. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 19. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 20. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 21. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 22. Difficult Conversations :: © Copyright EightShapes, LLC 2009
• 23. Common behaviors in creative environments They’re the People that You Meet that
You Meet
• 24. What makes people hard to work with?
• 25. No Direction They can’t tell you what’s wrong Symptoms Float with the wind Broad,
non-specific or emotional feedback Fear conflict Techniques Be mindful of goals
Separate yourself from the issue Ask good, specific questions
• 26. Misdirected Passion They feel strongly about the strangest things Symptoms reaction
not commensurate with issue taking things personally Techniques See other
perspectives/agendas Pick your battles Let others have their say Set expectations and
explain context
• 27. Inconsistent messaging They talk out of both sides of their mouth Symptoms “That’s
not what we discussed...” “I don’t recall saying that specifically....” “Well he told me...”
Techniques Bite your tongue (well, nibble it) Pick your battles Validate and capture
messages
• 28. Unwilling to admit ignorance They get stuff wrong Symptoms outputs show
misunderstanding “Let me try that again!” Techniques Deflect responsibility Avoid
distractions
• 29. No Vision They don’t know where they want to go Symptoms Willing to listen to any
direction Can’t separate good from bad Techniques Ask good questions Find out what
stifles their vision
• 30. No Structure They are disorganized Symptoms unaware of project plan missing
deadlines Techniques Define action items Set expectations and explain context
• 31. No Strength They are easily taken off course Symptoms a new problem every week
Techniques Avoid distractions Set expectations and explain context Remind of
implications
• 32. Not Available Eighty percent of success is showing up Symptoms missing meetings
not responding to email Techniques Set action items Set expectations and explain context
• 33. Tunnel Vision Other things get in the way of their view Symptoms refusal to
compromise Techniques Ask good questions Let others have their say Tell a good story
and align it with audience Deflect responsibility Set expectations and explain context

3. • 34. Prioritize reputation Rather save face than admit they're wrong Symptoms
(might come with other habits, like lack of focus) Techniques Letting others be right
Picking your battles Setting action items: how do we fix this?
• 35. Poor communication skills They can't articulate concerns Symptoms rambling
messages difficult to map/contextualize messages Techniques Ask good questions Define
action items Find out what’s stifling
• 36. Poor use of communications tools They love love love love love email Symptoms
long emails detailed project correspondence in IM tangents in meetings Techniques See
other people's perspectives Find out what stifles them Redirect to another tool
• 37. They’re the people that you meet No direction Misdirected passion Inconsistent
messaging Unwilling to admit ignorance No vision No structure No strength Not
available Tunnel vision Prioritize reputation Poor communication skills Poor use of
communication tools
• 38. The situations we face and techniques to master them It’s Called Work Work
• 39. What situations do you face?
• 40. The Challenge The size of the ‘stakeholder’ or interested party list is unwieldy and
dramatically inhibiting progress. The Techniques Identify the Influencers and speak
directly to them Don’t ask questions of the group, ask of specific individuals Provide
channels for individual feedback, but publish for broader consumption Managing Bumps
in The Road (Circumstances) Too Many People Involved
• 41. The Challenge The performance of one or several team members is jeopardizing
project success The Techniques First identify all of the positive aspects of the
performance Avoid explicit and implicit personal attacks Coach don’t point Use Positive
language Express confidence about abilities Managing Bumps in The Road (People) Poor
Team Member Performance
• 42. The Challenge The project is facing seemingly insurmountable complications, losing
support, and overall confidence is waning The Techniques Get out of the Weeds
Reminders of Why we’re here, What we’re doing Change the conversation; focus on Path
Forward There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel Managing Bumps in The Road
(Circumstances) Losing Momentum
• 43. The Challenge Clarifying and rationalizing design choices when challenged The
Techniques Establish “common practices” before design exercise Pick your battles If
supporting data isn’t there, explain the hypothesis Know Your why’s Make sure
stakeholders are on the ride for the whole way Communicating Design Defending
Decisions
• 44. The Challenge Communicating Design to varied interests and perspectives The
Techniques See Others Perspectives / Agendas Identify the Influencers and speak directly
to them Get Your Story Straight; Prep with the ‘Whys’ Pick Your Battles; know your
give points Communicating Design Design Reviews

4. • 45. The Challenge Creating a shared understanding of scope, timelines, and
accountability for a complex, multi-faceted design project The Techniques Prepare
Questions for Success...and ask every one of them! Expose the Elephants Clarify & Set
Expectations Confirm and Validate those Expectations Planning Design Resources,
Scope, & Timelines
• 46. The Challenge Divergent ‘stakeholder’ (client) interests are inhibiting progress The
internal team is not in agreement on the design direction The Techniques Work from a
foundation of agreements Listen; understand the scope of the disagreements Focus on the
positive aspects of each of the ‘approaches’ Remove personal interests from the equation
Take it offline, if necessary (ideate with each person separately or collectively) Managing
Bumps in The Road (People) Resolving Conflicts
• 47. The Challenge Divergent ‘stakeholder’ (client) interests are inhibiting progress The
Techniques Work from a foundation of agreements Encourage discussion to arrive at the
root disagreement Ideate with each stakeholder (collectively or separately) Focus on the
business; take personal interests out of the equation Forward Focused Managing Bumps
in The Road (People) Resolving Conflicts (among Stakeholders)
• 48. The Challenge The proverbial finger is pointing at you relative to lack of progress or
missteps The Techniques Avoid the Situation through Proactive statusing and risk
cataloging Don’t point -or deflect- the finger Facts and Objectivity are key Change the
conversation; focus on path forward Managing Bumps in The Road (Circumstances)
Defending Status & Progress
• 49. The Challenge Despite all of your best efforts, the project has failed The Techniques
Communicate the reusable parts, not everything that was done was for naught Remind
people of the good work that is still relevant Remain confident and upbeat Outline the
Lessons and keep them at the ready Managing Bumps in The Road (Circumstances)
Project Failure
• 50. Planning Design Resources, Scope, & Timelines Communicating Design Design
Reviews Defending Decisions Managing the Bumps in the Road People Resolving
Conflicts (internal & stakeholder) Poor Team Member Performance Too many people
Circumstances Defending progress Losing Momentum Project Failure The Situations
That We Face
• 51. Sample Scenarios
• 52. Situation: Poor Team Member Performance You have a client meeting on Wednesday
to present a draft deliverable. You’ve arranged a meeting with the IA responsible on
Monday to discuss progress and conduct a review. The IA arrives at the review meeting
without the document, claiming she/he didn’t have a chance to work on it.
Characteristics: Doesn’t admit ignorance, Poor communication skills Role-Playing » The
Missing Deliverable The Missing Deliverable
• 53. Situation: Defending Design Decisions Your client sets up a meeting between you
and another stakeholder. You’ve heard of this person, but haven’t ever met with him/her

5. before. Your client wants you to walk this person through the work done to-date. Your
client says that this person is paying for part of the project, and wants to get a sense of
what’s going on. During the meeting, the new stakeholder pokes all kinds of holes in the
design. Characteristics: Tunnel vision, No structure Role-Playing » The Late Stakeholder
The Late Stakeholder
• 54. Situation: The Design Review You're reviewing a design but the feedback
you're getting is broad, and non-specific. When it is specific, it's centered
around inconsequential details that don't help you move the design forward in a
meaningful way. You can sense from the body language and tone of the comments that
there's some confusion or uncertainty about the design but they can't seem
to articulate it well and they may not be comfortable with providing direct, potentially
damaging feedback. What do you do? What tactics / techniques do you use to facilitate a
meaningful discussion? Characteristics: No Direction, Poor Communication Skills,
Misdirected Passion Role-Playing » The Evasive Critique The Evasive Critique
• 55. A summary of skills and techniques discussed Tricks of the Trade the Trade
• 56. Tricks of the trade Telling a good story and aligning it with your audience Seeing
other perspectives/agendas Picking your battles: knowing when to turn on the passion
Setting expectations/context Setting action items: the art of what do we do now?
Avoiding distractions, even if timely and relevant Deflecting responsibility Asking good
questions Letting others be right Letting others have their say Encouraging discussion
Finding out what stifles people Channeling other people
• 57. Thanks! Dan Brown • dan@eightshapes.com Chris Detzi • chris@eightshapes.com

6. before. Your client wants you to walk this person through the work done to-date. Your
client says that this person is paying for part of the project, and wants to get a sense of
what’s going on. During the meeting, the new stakeholder pokes all kinds of holes in the
design. Characteristics: Tunnel vision, No structure Role-Playing » The Late Stakeholder
The Late Stakeholder
• 54. Situation: The Design Review You're reviewing a design but the feedback
you're getting is broad, and non-specific. When it is specific, it's centered
around inconsequential details that don't help you move the design forward in a
meaningful way. You can sense from the body language and tone of the comments that
there's some confusion or uncertainty about the design but they can't seem
to articulate it well and they may not be comfortable with providing direct, potentially
damaging feedback. What do you do? What tactics / techniques do you use to facilitate a
meaningful discussion? Characteristics: No Direction, Poor Communication Skills,
Misdirected Passion Role-Playing » The Evasive Critique The Evasive Critique
• 55. A summary of skills and techniques discussed Tricks of the Trade the Trade
• 56. Tricks of the trade Telling a good story and aligning it with your audience Seeing
other perspectives/agendas Picking your battles: knowing when to turn on the passion
Setting expectations/context Setting action items: the art of what do we do now?
Avoiding distractions, even if timely and relevant Deflecting responsibility Asking good
questions Letting others be right Letting others have their say Encouraging discussion
Finding out what stifles people Channeling other people
• 57. Thanks! Dan Brown • dan@eightshapes.com Chris Detzi • chris@eightshapes.com