1. Stories and analogies
Illustrations and analogies for motivation,
inspiration, learning and training
Here are some stories, analogies, research findings and
other examples that provide wonderful illustrations for
learning, and inspiration for self-development.
Read about the travellers and the monk, tickle me elmo,
get in the wheelbarrow, the shoe box story, the scorpion
and the frog, murphy's plough, Pavlov's dogs, the
monkeys and the stairs, and more.
Look at the stories index for stories listed by subject.
Or go straight to the stories.
Analogies, stories, fables and case-studies are great
ways to illustrate teaching, training and business lessons.
Stories, examples, fables and research references add
colour and substance to presentations and reports, and
reinforce learning of all types.
Some of these stories are ironic and so can best be used
to illustrate pitfalls and vulnerabilities rather than best
practice. If you know who wrote any of the unattributed
stories below please let us know so that credit can be
given.
Read and enjoy and send me your own favourite stories
and anecdotes.
Some of these stories might be offensive to certain
people in certain situations. If you are a strong advocate
of political correctness or are easily offended please
don't read this page, or the rest of this website, and for
goodness sake don't go near the acronyms page.

2. So, please don't use any of these stories in any situations
that might cause offence to people.
See also the quotes page, which contains many more
motivational, educational and amusing anecdotes for
writing, speaking, learning, teaching and training.
Please note that The Person Who Had Feelings story,
which was on this page for some while (with suggested
but uncertain attribution to Barbara Dunlap) has been
removed at the request of Barbara Dunlap Van Kirk, its
author, who has kindly contacted me to explain that she
is indeed the author, and that the work is protected and
so is not to be reproduced. The version on this page was
also somewhat different to Barbara's original. I hope to
help Barbara's work be more widely and fully accessible
in the future.
stories index
Most recent first:
story title learning, lessons, messages,
examples of uses
the blind man and communications, empathy,
the advertising story connecting with people, advertising,
marketing, language meaning,
intervention, helping others,
expertise
the shoes story positive thinking vs negative
thinking, opportunities vs problems,
attitude, mindset
the pub story racial discrimination, lateral
thinking, language meaning
the inflatables story context and meaning, discipline and

3. admonishment, self-respect
the mechanic and perceptions, differences, the devil
the surgeon story is in the detail
the zodiac signs example of story mnemonic
mnemonic (memory aid)
the two bulls story tactics, strategic thinking, planning,
impulse, enthusiasm, wisdom,
maturity
the thief and the planning, resources, project
paintings story management
the gardener's positive thinking, attitude, seeing
badge story the good side, successful business
the rich man and the possessions, enjoyment,
jewels story materialism, owning things
the atheist and the loyalty, payback and reward, taking
bear story sides, changing sides
the fairy story strategic alliances, ageism, sexism,
tactical awareness, the sisterhood,
loyalty, motives, assumptions,
choices, karma, be careful what you
wish for
circus story developing young people,
coaching, advising, talent
development, career choices
stranded car creativity, thinking outside of the
dilemma story box, decision-making, ethics
the school story attendance, sickness, overcoming
fears, responsibility
the soldiers and the leadership
trench story

4. the john wayne story communications, confusion,
understanding, instructions
the blind men and dependency, risk, stretching,
the road story motivation, achievement, lifting
personal limits
the doctor and the ethical decision-making, challenge
thief story and change choices
the preacher and the duty, regardless of demand and
farmer story reward - adapt provision according
to needs
the old lady and the tactical advantage, underestimating
hearing-aid story people
mobile phone story assumptions, approvals, authority,
control, security, identity
the trench-digger initiative, self-development, self-
story discipline, making things happen,
career advancement, getting
experience before you get the job,
getting a job requiring experience
when you have none - also making
assumptions and imagining or
suspecting the worst
the double-positive make your point and then know
story when to stop, language,
communications, lateral thinking,
quick-thinking
the bath and bucket lateral thinking, making
story assumptions, dangers of judging
people
the stamp story customer services,
communications, product design,

5. customer inertia
the shot at dawn ethics and culture, leadership
story integrity and styles, decision-
making, policy-making
direct mail campaign human nature, integrity, delegation
clanger story and training, and advertising is a
funny business...
the god and eve gender and sexual discrimination,
story equality, battle of the sexes
debates, after-dinner speeches
the wrong guy interviews, preparation, thinking on
interview story your feet, communications, media
nonsense, persuasion (this is the
famous BBC Guy Goma interview
story and video clip)
the very old lady positive attitude, self-image,
story ageism, age and beauty,
perspective, wisdom
the train travellers relationships, assumptions,
story marriage, weddings speeches, best
man speeches, sex, sexism
the william pitt story working creatively to reach
agreement, managing situations
and environments, facilitation of
agreements, negotiation
the biscuit factory making assumptions, other people's
story perspectives, individual needs and
motivations
the eggs story time management, creative thinking
and problem-solving, marriage,
weddings speeches, best man

6. speeches, sex, sexism
the translator story communications, assumptions,
creativity, deceit, language,
relationships, karma, cheats don't
prosper
the buddha and the conflict, responding to other
abuse story people's negative behaviour, angry
customers, disruptive kids, bad-
tempered bosses
the gandhi shoe selflessness, compassion,
story generosity, logic, objectivity
the greta garbo negotiation tactics, negotiating
negotiation story position, independence and the
power of choice
the jesse james tactics, strategy, planning, morality,
story good and bad in us all, yin and
yang
the gorilla story negotiating, understanding
communications, agreeing clear
objectives and responsibilities
the priest and the time management, being late,
politician story public speaking
lipstick kisses on the creative thinking, creative problem-
mirror story solving, creative management
techniques, avoiding confrontation
measuring by analysis, measurement, statistics
averages story
the blind golfers an ironic example of lack of
story empathy, and different people's
perspectives

7. the sales and for teams, motivation, team-
marketing rugby building, departmental cooperation,
analogy story training, public speaking
the lock and key kindness and generosity, 'good
story pebble ripples', memorable
customer service experiences
the stranger and the making assumptions, think before
gingernuts story you act, different perspectives
the england football foundational failure, strategic
story analysis, alignment and philosophy,
viability
the new employees importance of induction training for
stories new starters, initiative and lateral
thinking, interpretation, delegation,
rules, checking and monitoring
the bedtime story communications, communications
methods, relationships, marriage,
weddings speeches, best man
speeches, sex, sexism
the sergeant major's management styles examples,
rude parrot story autoctratic management,
submissive behaviour, threats,
meeting difficult behaviour head-on
the farmer and the helping others, inspiration, gratitude
boy story and appreciation, good comes from
doing good, the power of legen
the brewery story to challenge belief systems and
assumptions, and the need for
questioning pointless routine or
policy
the rowing identifying and managing

8. competition story performance improvement,
establishing cause and
accountability, theory x vs theory y,
daft executive judgements
the performance theory x shortcomings, mis-
evaluation story management
the no exit story different perspectives, viewpoints,
how different perspectives cause
one thing to appear as two different
things
the old couple story positive/negative outlook, blame,
attitude
two brothers and the initiative, responsibility, thinking
geese story outside the box, anticipating,
strategic anticipation, adding value
to service, value and reward
the piano story mentoring, coaching, understanding
the other person's development
needs
the angry customer funny customer service example,
story keeping calm, keeping control,
managing conflict, angry customers
the clap and cheer positive attitude, taking pride in
story whatever you do
the bank story a lesson in customer service, how
bad policy encourages poor service
the fish baking story to challenge belief systems and
assumptions, and illustrate pointless
routine and the need for
questioning

9. the donkey story positive attitudes, turning problems
into opportunities
the shepherd story IT consultants, business
consultancy, knowing your facts
the speed camera creative thinking, teamwork,
story understanding and using modern
technology - do not try this at
home..
the three engineers different approaches to problem-
story solving, modern IT
the sweet old couple dangers of making assumptions,
story understand before you intervene
the men and women the other person's perspective,
differences story gender empathy, for weddings,
best-man speeches, johari window,
empathy, NLP, etc
the aunt karen story using lessons, morals, analogies,
examples, interpretation, relatives,
families, drinking
the tickle me elmo induction training, communications,
story giving instructions, delegation,
confusion
the get in the belief, trust, faith, commitment,
wheelbarrow story walking the walk
the charles plumb supporting others, supporting roles,
parachutes story leadership, acknowledging others,
saying thank you
the chickens story communications, confusing
instructions, testing, research and
development

10. the chihuahua and creative thinking, quick thinking,
the leopard story escaping, averting disaster, bluff
and boldness
the cannibals story management, managers,
secretaries, initiative, habits,
conforming, rules and rule-breaking
the dog and the be content with what you have,
bone story greed and envy seldom pay (more
Aesop's fables)
the "always done it time management, challenging
that way.." story habits, assumptions, procedures,
belief systems
the dam story how to write a good letter, making
assumptions, jumping to
conclusions, and how to defend
wrong accusations with humour
the blind men and perception, truth, perspective,
the elephant empathy, communications and
understanding
the owl and the executive policy-making, theory
field-mouse story versus practice
the rat and the lion do good, what goes around comes
story around, karma
the two mules story show off expensive things at your
peril, the more you have the more
you have to lose
the travellers and positive attitude, life outlook,
the monk story positive philosophy, finding what we
seek, self-fulfilling prophecies
the human new starters induction, ironic

11. resources story reference to human resources
management, keeping promises,
employment standards, changing
jobs
the shoe box story delusion, men and women,
marriage, relationships, secrets,
weddings and best-man speeches
the businessman ambition, work and fulfilment,
and the fisherman purpose of life, wealth creation,
story change for change's sake
the microsoft story computers, WYSInotWYG, ironic
reference to computer software
problems
the "it will for that making a difference, compassion,
one" story personal and social responsibility
the negotiation story negotiating, men and women, funny
responses
the mcclelland david mcclelland's achievement
motivation story motivation experiment, motivation
references and examples
the butterfly story coaching, teaching, enabling,
facilitating, interventions
the swimming pool reviews and asessments, assessing
story people, things are not always what
they seem
the butcher story business ethics, chickens come
home to roost, sins discovered,
getting caught out, lying to
customers
the pavlov's dogs behaviour, conditioning, fears and

12. story neuroses, embedded attitudes and
responses
the beans up the accentuate the positive,
nose story visualization, auto-suggestion,
negative suggestions and attitudes
the hawthorne effect elton mayo's motivation
story experiments, motivation
the naval stand-off negotiation, do your research, know
story your facts
the room service understanding, communicating,
story interpretation, empathy, meaning,
language and translation
the project story project management, six phases of
a project, leadership and
management
the mswindows car the power of PR, clever publicity,
story using humour for publicity, don't get
mad get even
the balloon story business, IT, humour, funny
business story
the monkey story company policy, organizational
development, group behaviour,
group beliefs, inertia and
assumptions
the creativity story ten ways to murder creativity,
leadership, growth and
development, innovation and
motivation
the scorpion and the responsibility, blame, reality,
frog story acceptance, delusion, expectations,

13. personal responsibility, empathy
the rocks in bucket time management, personal
story change, managing your activities
and environment, project
management, life-balance
the rocks in the alternative funny version, students'
bucket story II perspective
the murphy's plough positive thinking, negative thinking,
story retaliating before being attacked,
thinking the worst of people, tit-
for-tat, eye-for-an-eye
Stories for teaching, training,
lessons and amusement
Stories add interest and enjoyment to learning, teaching
and training - for teachers, trainers and students.
Stories also increase impact and make ideas and
concepts far more memorable.
Stories can be used to illustrate all sorts of themes and
lessons, and most stories are extremely flexible.
The themes suggested for the stories in this collection
are the obvious examples.
Use your imagination - in most stories you can find many
other themes to suit your own purposes.
the blind man and the advertising
story
An old blind man was sitting on a busy street corner in

14. the rush-hour begging for money. On a cardboard sign,
next to an empty tin cup, he had written: 'Blind - Please
help'.
No-one was giving him any money.
A young advertising writer walked past and saw the blind
man with his sign and empty cup, and also saw the many
people passing by completely unmoved, let alone
stopping to give money.
The advertising writer took a thick marker-pen from her
pocket, turned the cardboard sheet back-to-front, and
re-wrote the sign, then went on her way.
Immediately, people began putting money into the tin
cup.
After a while, when the cup was overflowing, the blind
man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign now said.
"It says," said the stranger, " 'It's a beautiful day. You can
see it. I cannot.' "
(My Dad told me this story when I was a teenager in the
1970s. I saw it recently on a video on the web. This story
illustrates in a timeless way how important choice of
words and language is when we want to truly connect
with and move other people. Thanks BC and SD)
the shoes story (positive thinking,
negative thinking, attitude,
perspective, mindset)
You will perhaps have heard this very old story illustrating
the difference between positive thinking and negative
thinking:

15. Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe
manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report back on
market potential.
The first salesman reported back, "There is no potential
here - nobody wears shoes."
The second salesman reported back, "There is massive
potential here - nobody wears shoes."
This simple short story provides one of the best examples
of how a single situation may be viewed in two quite
different ways - negatively or positively.
We could explain this also in terms of seeing a situation's
problems and disadvantages, instead of its opportunities
and benefits.
When telling this story its impact is increased by using
exactly the same form of words (e.g., "nobody wears
shoes") in each salesman's report. This emphasises that
two quite different interpretations are made of a single
situation.
See also the glass half-full/empty quotes.
the pub story (racial issues,
discrimination, exclusion, inclusion,
lateral thinking, different meanings in
language and communications)
A Sikh, a Muslim, an Englishman, an Irishman, a
Scotsman, a Welshman, a Jew, a Buddhist and a Hindu
go into a pub.
The barman looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a
joke?"

16. (This short aside can be used to illustrate or draw
attention to issues related to racial
stereotyping/discrimination. Separately it offers an
example of lateral thinking, and also an example of
double meaning in language. The ethnicities may be
changed for your own situation or part of the world.)
the inflatables story (context is
everything, discipline and
admonishment)
In the land of inflatables (bear with me..), at the inflatable
school, what did the inflatable teacher say to the naughty
inflatable boy caught misbehaving with a pin?
"You let me down, you let yourself down, and worst of all
you let the whole school down."
the mechanic and the surgeon story
(perceptions, the devil is in the
detail, the nature of big differences)
A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a
regular service, where he usually exchanged a little
friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially
wealthy mechanic.
"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering
about what we both do for a living, and how much more
you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a
big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it

17. up, fix the valves, and put it all back together so it works
good as new.. We basically do the same job don't we?
And yet you are paid ten times what I am - how do you
explain that?"
The surgeon thought for a moment, and smiling gently,
replied,"Try it with the engine running.."
zodiac star signs story (for
remembering the signs of the zodiac,
and memory aid example for teaching
mnemonics methods)
This story is a mnemonic (pronounced 'nemonic' -
meaning memory aid) for remembering the twelve Signs
of the Zodiac, in order, starting in January.
While this example is useful for pub quizzes, more
importantly the method of creating a story
mnemonic can be used to retain all sorts of difficult-to-
remember pieces of information, for yourself, and taught
to others. Mnemonics stories need not make sense -
they simply need to be memorable.
In January, a goat (Capricorn), drinking from a stream
(Aquarius) said, "Look, a fish (Pisces)."
A ram (Aries), and a bull (Taurus), carrying the twins
(Gemini) said "There's also a crab (Cancer)."
A lion (Leo) roared in agreement, which startled the
young maiden (Virgo) so that she dropped and smashed
her scales (Libra).
"That's no crab - it's a scorpion (Scorpio)," said the
archer (Sagittarius).

18. Note that the Signs of the Zodiac are normally deemed to
start and end anything between the 18th and the 24th day
of each month, depending on interpretation. It is not by
any means a precise science.
the two bulls story (tactics, wisdom,
planning, youthfulness vs maturity,
impulse vs patience)
Two bulls, one young and full of enthusiasm, and the
other older and wiser, see a herd of cows.
The young bull says, "Let's charge down this hillside and
have our wicked way with a couple of those cows."
The old bull replies, "No, how about we stroll gently down
this hillside and have our wicked way with them all."
You will perhaps have heard this story told with more
fruity language. Feel free to adapt it for your own
situation.
(Thanks A Dobson for suggesting it. See also Softly
softly, catchee monkey.)
the thief and the paintings story
(planning, preparation, resources,
project management)
A thief was caught after stealing some paintings from the
Louvre in Paris, when his getaway van ran out of fuel.
Given bail at his first hearing, a reporter asked him on the
steps of the courthouse how he forgot such a vital part of
his plan.
"Simple," said the thief, "I had no Monet for Degas to

19. make the Van Gogh."
(Ack CB)
the gardener's badge story (positive
thinking, attitude, seeing the good
side)
A landscape gardener ran a business that had been in the
family for two or three generations. The staff were happy,
and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the
staff work on their gardens or make deliveries - anything
from bedding plants to ride-on mowers.
For as long as anyone could remember, the current
owner and previous generations of owners were
extremely positive happy people.
Most folk assumed it was because they ran a
successful business.
In fact it was the other way around...
A tradition in the business was that the owner always
wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great!
The business was indeed generally great, although it went
through tough times like any other. What never changed
however was the owner's attitude, and the badge saying
Business Is Great!
Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably
asked, "What's so great about business?" Sometimes
people would also comment that their own business was
miserable, or even that they personally were miserable or
stressed.
Anyhow, the Business Is Great! badge always tended

20. to start a conversation, which typically involved the owner
talking about lots of positive aspects of business and
work, for example:
w
the pleasure of meeting and talking with different
people every day
p
the reward that comes from helping staff take on new
challenges and experiences
c
the fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work
environment
e
the fascination in the work itself, and in the other
people's work and businesses
p
the great feeling when you finish a job and do it to
the best of your capabilities
t
the new things you learn every day - even without
looking to do so
l
and the thought that everyone in business is blessed
- because there are many millions of people who
would swap their own situation to have the same
opportunities of doing a productive meaningful job, in
a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real
worries.
And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a
person was, they'd usually end up feeling a lot happier
after just a couple of minutes listening to all this
infectious enthusiasm and positivity.
It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this,
but to one extent or another it's probably a self-fulfilling
prophecy, on which point, if asked about the badge in a
quiet moment, the business owner would confide:
"The badge came first. The great business followed."

21. the jewels story (enjoyment,
fulfillment, possession, wealth,
materialism, greed)
Once there was a very rich and greedy man. He loved
and hoarded jewels.
One day a visitor asked to see them.
So the jewels were brought out, amid much expensive
security, and the two men gazed at the wonderful stones.
As the visitor was leaving he said, "Thank you for sharing
your jewels with me."
"I didn't give them to you," exclaimed the rich man, "They
belong to me."
"Yes of course," replied the visitor, "And while we enjoyed
the jewels just the same, the real difference between us
is your trouble and expense of buying and protecting
them."
(Thanks Jackie Carpenter, adapted from an original item
in New Internationalist 137.)
the atheist and the bear story
(loyalty, conviction, payback and
reward, changing sides)
A committed atheist (that's someone who steadfastly
does not believe in a god of any sort) was on a trekking
holiday when he became lost in some dense woods.
A large angry bear, with ten starving cubs back home and
claws like kitchen knives, suddenly emerged from the

22. undergrowth.
The atheist screamed in terror, turned and ran. The bear
was quicker however, and after a long and desperate
chase eventually cornered the atheist in a gully.
The exhausted atheist sank to his knees, shaking.
The bear, seeing that its prey was trapped, moved slowly
towards the petrified man, drooling. The bear was
drooling too.
The atheist lifted his head, with tears in his eyes, and
uttered the words he thought he would never say in all his
life: "God help me..."
With these simple three words, a blinding flash of
lightning lit up the sky. There was a deafening crash of
thunder. The clouds parted. A brilliant light shone down.
The forest fell silent. The bear froze still, in a trance. The
atheist stood gaping, transfixed.
A voice came loud from above. Louder than twenty
AC/DC concerts all happening at the same time. We can
safely assume this voice to have been the voice of a god
of some sort.
"You atheists make me seriously mad," boomed the god,
"You deny me all your life. You tell others to deny me too.
You put your faith in all that bloody Darwinian airy-fairy
scientific nonsense, and then what a surprise - you get
lost because you can't read your stupid map, and now
you're about to get eaten by an angry bear all of a
sudden you're on your knees snivelling and begging for
my help?......... You must be joking..."
The atheist looked down, realising that he was not
arguing from a position of strength.

23. "Okay, I take your point," said the atheist, thinking on his
feet, while he still had them, "I can see it's a bit late for
me to convert, but what about the bear?... Maybe you
could convert the bear instead?"
"Hmmn... interesting idea..." said the god, thinking hard,
"...Okay. It shall be done." At which the brilliant light
dimmed and vanished; the clouds closed; and the noises
of the forest resumed.
The bear awoke and shook its head, a completely
different expression on its face. Calm, at peace.
The bear closed its eyes, bowed its head, and said, "For
what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly
thankful, Amen.."
THE END
_________________________________
N.B. The grace prayer in the punchline is the version
commonly taught in UK schools. Alternatives might work
better depending on the audience, for example:
"Come Lord Jesus, be our guest, let this food of ours be
blessed. Amen.." (suggesting an Australian bear of
unspecific denomination)
"Lass't uns beten! O Herr, segne uns und diese deine
gaben, die wir von deiner Güte nun empfangen werden.
Durch Christus, unseren Herr'n! Amen.." (suggesting a
German Catholic bear)
You will perhaps devise your own endings. Perhaps your
own animals. Perhaps your own god.
It has been suggested that this story could offend certain
sensitivities.

24. I apologise therefore to bears everywhere.
(Adapted from a story sent by S Hart, thank you.)
A much shorter and simpler version of this story (thanks
D Baudois) is as follows:
the missionary man and the lion story
A missionary came upon a hungry lion in the middle of
the African plain.
The missionary knelt and prayed, "God, please give this
lion a christian soul!"
The lion stopped, knelt, and prayed also: "Lord above,
may this meal be blessed.."
the fairy story (strategic alliances,
tactical awareness, ageism, sexism,
being careful about what you wish
for and how you go about getting it)
A couple were dining out together celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary.
After the meal, the husband presented his wife
romantically with a beautiful very old gold antique locket
on a chain.
Amazingly when his wife opened the locket, a tiny fairy
appeared.
Addressing the astonished couple, the fairy said, "Your
forty years of devotion to each other has released me
from this locket, and in return I can now grant you both
one wish each - anything you want.."

25. Without hesitating, the wife asked, "Please, can I travel to
the four corners of the world with my husband, as happy
and in love as we've always been?"
The fairy waved her wand with a flourish, and magically
there on the table were two first-class tickets for a
round-the-world holiday.
Staggered, the couple looked at each other, unable to
believe their luck.
"Your turn," said the fairy and the wife to the husband.
The husband thought for a few seconds, and then said,
with a little guilt in his voice, "Forgive me, but to really
enjoy that holiday of a lifetime - I yearn for a younger
woman - so I wish that my wife could be thirty years
younger than me."
Shocked, the fairy glanced at the wife, and with a
knowing look in her eye, waved her wand.....
and the husband became ninety-three.
(Adapted from a suggestion from J Riley, thanks.)
circus story (developing young
people, talent, career choice,
parenting)
This short story - it's a joke really - can be used to
illustrate attitudes to developing young people, career
direction, and especially the advice and aspirations of
parents and coaches, which might be different to the
dreams of the individual...
In a circus, the Bearded Lady and the World's Strongest

26. Man fell in love, and decided to start a family.
Soon the Bearded Lady fell pregnant.
A few weeks before she was due to give birth, the
Bearded Lady and the circus ring-master were talking.
"How's it going?" the ring-master asked, "Are you well?"
"Yes thanks - very excited," said the bearded lady, "We
have so many plans for the baby - we want to be
supportive parents."
"That's nice," said the ring-master, "Do you want a boy
or a girl?"
"Oh, we really don't mind as long as it's healthy," said the
Bearded Lady, "And it fits into the cannon.."
(Thanks DC)
stranded car dilemma story (creative
thinking, ethics, decision-making)
This story is adapted from a scenario which featured in a
widely circulated email, in which (supposedly) job
applicants were given loosely the following question to
answer, to indicate their personality and decision-making
motives (supposedly). The job application context is
extremely doubtful, but the lesson in creative thinking is
interesting, especially if people are not given too long to
dwell on it:
You are driving alone in two-seater car on a deserted
road in blizzard conditions, when you see another car
which has recently run off the road and into a tree. There
are three people in the stranded car, none of whom is
injured:

27. an old friend, who once saved your life
a
your childhood sweetheart greatest lost love
y
an elderly lady
No-one has a phone. The likelihood of any more passing
traffic is effectively zero. The conditions are too
dangerous for people to walk anywhere. It is not possible
to tow the crashed car. The nearest town is an hour's
drive away.
The question is: Given that your car is just a two-seater,
in what order should the stranded people be taken to the
nearest town?
Answer
the school story (attendance,
sickness, responsibility, parenting,
and various other uses)
My apologies if this story is well-known to you. It's an old
joke, yet a useful illustration for various themes.
A mother repeatedly called upstairs for her son to get up,
get dressed and get ready for school. It was a familiar
routine, especially at exam time.
"I feel sick," said the voice from the bedroom.
"You are not sick. Get up and get ready," called the
mother, walking up the stairs and hovering outside the
bedroom door.
"I hate school and I'm not going," said the voice from the
bedroom, "I'm always getting things wrong, making
mistakes and getting told off. Nobody likes me, and I've
got no friends. And we have too many tests and they are
i

28. too confusing. It's all just pointless, and I'm not going to
school ever again."
"I'm sorry, but you are going to school," said the mother
through the door, continuing encouragingly, "Really,
mistakes are how we learn and develop. And please try
not to take criticism so personally. And I can't believe
that nobody likes you - you have lots of friends at
school. And yes, all those tests can be confusing, but we
are all tested in many ways throughout our lives, so all of
this experience at school is useful for life in general.
Besides, you have to go, you are the headteacher."
(Based on a suggestion from P Hallinger, thanks.)
the soldiers and the trench story
(leadership)
The story goes that sometime, close to a battlefield over
200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode past a small
group of exhausted battle-weary soldiers digging an
obviously important defensive position. The section
leader, making no effort to help, was shouting orders,
threatening punishment if the work was not completed
within the hour.
"Why are you are not helping?" asked the stranger on
horseback.
"I am in charge. The men do as I tell them," said the
section leader, adding, "Help them yourself if you feel
strongly about it."
To the section leader's surprise the stranger dismounted
and helped the men until the job was finished.

29. Before leaving the stranger congratulated the men for
their work, and approached the puzzled section leader.
"You should notify top command next time your rank
prevents you from supporting your men - and I will
provide a more permanent solution," said the stranger.
Up close, the section leader now recognized General
Washington, and also the lesson he'd just been taught.
(This story is allegedly based on truth. Whatever, similar
examples are found in history, and arise in modern times
too, so please forgive the mythical possibility of the
above attribution; the story's message is more important
than its historical accuracy.)
the john wayne story (instructions,
communications, understanding,
confused messages)
It is said that when filming the biblical epic The Greatest
Story Ever Told, the director George Stevens was trying
to encourage extra passion from John Wayne when
delivering the highly significant line, "Truly, this was the
Son of God."
"You are talking about Jesus - think about it," said
Stevens, "You've got to say it with awe."
For the next take John Wayne duly summoned his most
intense feelings. He paused dramatically, and said:
"Aw, truly this was the Son of God."
the blind men and the road story
(stretching, dependency, risk,
achievement under pressure)

30. A blind man had been waiting a while at a busy road for
someone to offer to guide him across, when he felt a tap
on his shoulder.
"Excuse me," said the tapper, "I'm blind - would you
mind guiding me across the road?"
The first blind man took the arm of the second blind man,
and they both crossed the road.
Apparently this is a true story. The first blind man was the
jazz pianist George Shearing. He is quoted (in Bartlett's
Anecdotes) as saying after the event, "What could I do? I
took him across and it was the biggest thrill of my life."
There are times when we think we cannot do something
and so do not stretch or take a risk. Being forced to
stretch and take a risk can often help us to reduce our
dependencies (on others, or our own personal safety
mechanisms), and to discover new excitement and
capabilities. The poem Come to the Edge is another
wonderful perspective on risk and stretching.
the doctor and the thief story (ethical
decision making - also adaptability,
flexibility, accepting what cannot be
changed)
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've become
a compulsive thief."
The doctor prescribes him a course of tablets and says,
"If you're not cured in a couple of weeks would you get
me a widescreen television?"
This is not a lesson of ideal behaviour, it's a humorous
illustration of options - whether to try to change

31. something, to accept it or to actively support it. Such
decisions normally have two main reference points - the
difficulty of the change, and the ethical implications of
the situation.
The Serenity Prayer is a different and less cynical view of
change and choices.
the preacher and the farmer story
(understanding the needs of your
people, caring for minorities and
individuals, looking deeper than the
mainstream)
An old hill farming crofter trudges several miles through
freezing snow to his local and very remote chapel for
Sunday service. No-one else is there, aside from the
clergyman.
"I'm not sure it's worth proceeding with the service -
might we do better to go back to our warm homes and a
hot drink?.." asks the clergyman, inviting a mutually
helpful reaction from his audience of one.
"Well, I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But
when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns
up, I sure don't leave it hungry."
So the clergyman, feeling somewhat ashamed, delivers
his service - all the bells and whistles, hymns and
readings, lasting a good couple of hours - finishing
proudly with the fresh observation that no matter how
small the need, our duty remains. And he thanks the old
farmer for the lesson he has learned.
"Was that okay?" asks the clergyman, as the two set off

32. home.
"Well I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But
when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns
up, I sure don't force it to eat what I brought for the
whole herd..."
From which we see the extra lesson, that while our duty
remains regardless of the level of need, we have the
additional responsibility to ensure that we adapt our
delivery (of whatever is our stock in trade) according to
the requirements of our audience.
(Adapted from a suggestion from P Hallinger, and based
apparently on a story told by Roland Barth, whom I
assume to be the US educationalist.)
the old lady and the hearing-aid
story (assumptions about
weaknesses, underestimating people,
tactical advantage)
An old lady had a hearing-aid fitted, hidden underneath
her hair.
A week later she returned to the doctor for her check-up.
"It's wonderful - I can hear everything now," she reported
very happily to the doctor.
"And is your family pleased too?" asked the doctor.
"Oh I haven't told them yet," said the old lady, "And I've
changed my will twice already.."
(Thanks BC. Based on a letter published in the
newspaper several years ago, written by the doctor. I

33. suspect variations of this story have been told many
times elsewhere too.)
the mobile phone story
(assumptions, authority, control, the
risks of modern communications and
technology, privacy, security,
identity theft, etc)
Several men were in a golf club locker room.
A mobile phone rings.
"Yes I can talk," says the man answering the call, "You're
shopping are you? That's nice."
The listening men smile to each other.
"You want to order those new carpets? Okay.. And they'll
include the curtains for an extra five thousand?.. Sure,
why not?"
More smiles among the listeners.
"You want to book that week on Necker Island?.. They're
holding the price at twenty-two thousand?.. Sounds a
bargain.. You want a fortnight?.. If that's what you want
honey, okay by me."
Smiles turn to expressions of mild envy.
"And you want to give the builder the go-ahead for the
new conservatory? Seventy-five thousand if we say yes
today? Sounds fair.. sure, that's fine."
The listeners exchange glances of amazement.
"Okay sugar, see you later.. Yes, love you too," says the
man, ending the call.

34. He looks at the other men and says, "Whose phone is
this anyhow?.."
the trench-digger story (initiative,
self-development, making things
happen, career advancement, how to
get a job requiring experience when
you have none)
This is adapted from (apparently) a true story.
An elderly couple retired to the countryside - to a small
isolated cottage overlooking some rugged and rocky
heathland.
One early morning the woman saw from her window a
young man dressed in working clothes walking on the
heath, about a hundred yards away. He was carrying a
spade and a small case, and he disappeared from view
behind a copse of trees.
The woman thought no more about it but around the
same time the next day she saw the man again, carrying
his spade and a small case, and again he disappeared
behind the copse.
The woman mentioned this to her husband, who said he
was probably a farmer or gamekeeper setting traps, or
performing some other country practice that would be
perfectly normal, and so not to worry.
However after several more sightings of the young man
with the spade over the next two weeks the woman
persuaded her husband to take a stroll - early, before the
man tended to arrive - to the copse of trees to
investigate what he was doing.

35. There they found a surprisingly long and deep trench,
rough and uneven at one end, becoming much neater
and tidier towards the other end.
"How strange," the old lady said, "Why dig a trench here
- and in such difficult rocky ground?" and her husband
agreed.
Just then the young man appeared - earlier than his
usual time.
"You're early," said the old woman, making light of their
obvious curiosity, "We wondered what you were doing -
and we also wondered what was in the case."
"I'm digging a trench," said the man, who continued,
realising a bigger explanation was appropriate, "I'm
actually learning how to dig a good trench, because the
job I'm being interviewed for later today says that
experience is essential - so I'm getting the experience.
And the case - it's got my lunch in it."
He got the job.
(Adapted from a suggestion - thanks R Columbo)
double-positive story (make your
point and then know when to stop,
language, communications, lateral
thinking, quick-thinking)
On hearing one of his students use the expression, "I
don't know nothing about it..." a teacher took the
opportunity to explain about double negatives and correct
grammar to the class.
The teacher explained, "In the English language a double
negative makes the statement positive, so your assertion

36. that you 'don't know nothing about it' is actually an
admission that you do know something about it."
Encouraged by the interest in this revelation among
certain class members, the teacher went on to
demonstrate more of his knowledge of world languages:
"Of course not all languages operate according to the
same grammatical rules, for example, in Russian, a
double negative remains negative, although perhaps
surprisingly, there is not a single language anywhere in
the world in which a double positive makes a negative.."
At which a voice from the back of the classroom called
out ironically "Yeah, right.."
(This is adapted from a story sent to me by M Morris.
Apparently the original story was based on a true incident
at a Modern Language Association meeting in New York
in the mid-1970's, reported in the NY Times. The quick-
witted response in the original story, actually "Yeah,
yeah..", seemingly came from from Sidney Morganbesser,
a professor of philosophy who was noted for his speedy
retorts. Thanks M Morris, Apr 2007.)
the bath and the bucket story (lateral
thinking, making assumptions,
dangers of judging people)
Given the title (on the subject of buckets..) and its quick
simple message, this story is a good partner analogy to
the rocks in a bucket time management story.
The story illustrates lateral thinking, narrow-mindedness,
the risks of making assumptions, and judging people and
situations:

37. A party of suppliers was being given a tour of a mental
hospital.
One of the visitors had made some very insulting remarks
about the patients.
After the tour the visitors were introduced to various
members of staff in the canteen.
The rude visitor chatted to one of the security staff, Bill, a
kindly and wise ex-policeman.
"Are they all raving loonies in here then?" said the rude
man.
"Only the ones who fail the test," said Bill.
"What's the test?" said the man.
"Well, we show them a bath full of water, a bucket, a jug
and an egg-cup, and we ask them what's the quickest
way to empty the bath," said Bill.
"Oh I see, simple - the normal ones know it's the bucket,
right?"
"No actually," said Bill, "The normal ones say pull out the
plug. Should I check when there's a bed free for you?"
the stamp story (customer services,
communications, product design,
customer inertia)
The staff at an old people's home were puzzled when one
of the residents began gargling with TCP. They asked her
why but all she would say was that something had
happened at the post-office. This is what actually
occurred.
The old lady, who rarely ventured out, had visited the

38. post office to post a letter.
She bought a stamp, and since there was a long queue
behind her she stepped aside. She put her change in her
purse, licked the stamp and put it on her letter. Despite
pressing and thumping and licking it again, the stamp
failed to stick.
"Excuse me, this stamp won't stick," said the old lady.
"You need to peel the paper off the back," explained the
clerk.
The old lady put on her spectacles, fiddled for a few
seconds to peel off the backing paper - and then licked
the stamp again.
"It still won't stick," interrupted the old lady again.
"It's a self-stick stamp," said the assistant.
"Well this one isn't sticking at all - there's something
wrong with it," demanded the old lady.
"Well it won't stick now because you've licked it."
"Well I'm totally confused now," said the old lady.
"Just give it here and I'll post it for you," said the cashier,
and doing her best to explain continued, "These new
stamps don't need licking. They are self-sticking. They
save time. They are already sticky."
The old lady continued to look blankly at the assistant.
"Look," said the well-meaning but desperate post-office
clerk, "Just imagine they've already been licked..."
Which sent the old lady scurrying out of the door and
across the road to the chemist.
(Thanks Stephen Rafe for the original tale from which the

39. above was adapted. Stephen also provided another
example of confused customer service communications,
in which the customer was convinced for a while that the
customer service person was somehow carrying on his
work from inside prison, because the bad line was due to
him speaking from his cell-phone..)
the shot at dawn campaign story
(ethics and culture, leadership
integrity and styles, decision-
making, policy-making,)
By December 1916 more than 17,000 British troops were
officially diagnosed as suffering from nervous or mental
disability (we'd say shell-shock or post-traumatic stress
disorder these days), despite which the British military
authorities continued to charge and convict sufferers with
'cowardice' and 'desertion', and to sentence to death by
firing squad many of those found 'guilty'.
On 16 August 2006 the British government announced
that it would pardon 308 British soldiers who were shot by
firing squad for 'cowardice' and 'desertion' during the
First World War of 1914-18. The decision was ratified by
Parliament on 7 November 2006, and represented a
remarkable u-turn by this and previous governments who
had always firmly refuted any evidence and justification
for pardoning the victims.
This reversal followed and was largely due to decades of
persistent lobbying and campaigning by organisations
and individuals, many being families and descendents of
the victims. It is not easy to imagine their suffering,
especially of the widows and parents long since gone, for
whom this decision came a lifetime too late.

40. The story emphasises two things: first, that people in
authority have a responsibility to behave with integrity.
Second, that where people in authority fail to act with
integrity, the persistence and determination of ordinary
people will eventually force them to do so.
Here is more background about the Shot At Dawn
campaign, and the history of this particularly shameful
example of British institutional behaviour.
It provides lessons to us all about doing the right thing,
and calling to account those who do not.
See the related discussion ideas for developing
awareness and understanding of the issues and how they
relate to us all.
N.B. Some people will not agree with this
interpretation. This makes it such an interesting
subject for debate, especially in transferring the
issues and principles to modern challenges in
organisations, and the world beyond.
direct mail campaign clanger story
(human nature, integrity, delegation
and training, and advertising is a
funny business...)
This is a true story. Some years ago a client engaged a
consultant to help with a small postal mailing to the
purchasing departments of blue chip corporations. The
consultant sourced the list (which was provided on
MSExcel) and drafted the letter. Thereafter the client was
keen to take control of the project, ie., to run the mail-
merge and the fulfilment (basically printing, envelope-
stuffing and mailing).

41. The consultant discovered some weeks later that a junior
member of the client's marketing department had sorted
the list (changed the order of the listed organisations in
the spreadsheet), but had sorted the company name
column only, instead of all columns, with the result that
every letter (about 500) was addressed and sent to a blue
chip corporation at another entirely different corporation's
address.
Interestingly the mailing produced a particularly high
response, which when investigated seemed to stem from
the fact that an unusually high percentage of letters were
opened and read, due apparently to the irresistible
temptation of reading another corporation's mail...
the god and eve story (gender and
sexual discrimination, equality, battle
of the sexes debates, after-dinner
speaking, etc)
"God, I've been thinking.." says Eve one day.
"What's on your mind Eve?" says God.
"Well, I know that you created me and this beautiful
garden and all of these wonderful creatures, but lately
I've been feeling that maybe there's more to life."
"Go on..." says God.
"Sometimes I get a bit bored - I fancy a bit of fun. And I
get a bit fed up with all the heaving lifting and carrying,
and warding off the mammoths and sabre-toothed tigers,
not to mention that bloody snake. This garden can be
dangerous place."
"I see," says God, pausing for thought.

42. "Eve, I have a cunning plan," says God, "I shall create
Man for you."
"Man?" asks Eve, "What is Man?"
"Man..." says God, "Is a flawed creature. He will have
many weaknesses and disgusting habits. Man will lie,
cheat and behave like an idiot - in fact mostly he'll be a
complete pain in the backside. But on the plus side he'll
be big and strong, and will be able to protect you, and
hunt and kill things, which might be handy sometimes. He
will tend to lose control of mind and body when aroused,
but with a bit training can reach an acceptable standard
in the bedroom department, if you know what I mean."
"Hmm," says Eve, "Seems like this Man idea might be
worth a try, but tell me God, is there anything else I need
to know?"
"Just this," says God, "Man comes with one condition...
In keeping with his arrogant, deluded, self-important
character, Man will naturally believe that he was made
first, and frankly we all have better things to do than
argue, so you must keep all this a secret between us, if
that's okay with you. You know, woman to woman.."
(unknown origin - if you can shed any light on the origin
please contact me - thanks CB)
the wrong guy interview story
(interviews, preparation, thinking on
your feet, communications)
This is a true story. It concerned Guy Goma, a lovely
cuddly business graduate from the Congo, who on 8th
May 2006 attended the BBC building in West London for
an interview for an IT job. At the same time, the BBC

43. News 24 TV channel was expecting a Guy Kewney (now
sadly deceased), editor of the website Newswireless.net,
for a live 10.30am studio interview about the Apple court
case judgement. (Apple Corps, owned by surviving
Beatles McCartney and Starr, lost their case against
Apple Computers, in which they sought to prevent the
Apple name being used in relation to iTunes music
downloads.)
Due to failed communications, entirely the BBC's fault
(both Guys were blameless in this), the BBC News 24
staff grabbed the wrong Guy (waiting in a different
reception to Guy Kewney), who, being an unassuming,
foreign and extremely polite fellow, dutifully took his
place in the studio, and after declining make-up (really),
was introduced on live TV to viewers as Guy Kewney,
editor of the technology website 'Newswireless', and then
asked three questions by the BBC News 24 business
presenter Karen Bowerman about the Apple judgements
and its implications for internet music downloading.
Meanwhile the real Guy Kewney sat and watched 'himself'
on the monitor in the BBC reception. See the 'wrong Guy'
interview. (At some stage in the future the link to the BBC
interview clip might cease working - I don't know how
long they keep these things. Let me know when and if
you can no longer see the video clip and I'll try to source
it elsewhere. As at Jun 2010 - thanks Joe - it seems that
the clip is not so easy to play as it once was, although
the video is still available via the BBC's 'Launch in stand
alone player' link for the 'wrong Guy' item.
What's so utterly fascinating about this story and the
supporting video, is:
Guy Goma initially expresses surprise about the interview

44. situation, but, largely due to his broken English and heavy
French accent the interviewer interprets and leads Mr
Goma's response to mean that he is surprised about the
court judgement. If you listen carefully Guy Goma does
actually mention his 'interview' in his first answer. See the
transcript below. However the pressure of the situation is
too great and he has little option other than to play out
the role that the fates have created for him. He actually
does quite well, given that he knows little about the
subject. Subsequent media reports that Guy Goma was a
taxi driver are false - he's a business graduate. He later
attended his IT job interview but regrettably was
unsuccessful. You can read what Guy Kewney thought of
it all on his own blog at www.newswireless.net (there are
several entries - read them all to see the full picture).
As mentioned, sadly Guy Kewney has since died, on 8
Apr 2010. His blog as at Sep 2010 still stands. Please let
me know if it ceases to be available. On hearing of Guy
Kewney's passing (thanks D Guy - another different
Guy..) I considered whether to remove or retain this item
and obviously I decided to retain it. I never met Guy
Kewney. From what I understand he seems to have been
a lovely man. The opportunity to say this is part of my
decision.
the wrong guy interview transcript
Karen Bowerman: ...Well, Guy Kewney is editor of the
technology website Newswireless.
[Camera switches to Guy Goma's face, portraying a
mixture of shock, disbelief and impending disaster.]
KB: Hello, good morning to you.
Guy Goma: Good morning.
KB: Were you surprised by this verdict today?

45. GG: I am very surprised to see... this verdict, to come on
me because I was not expecting that. When I came they
told me something else and I am coming. Got an
interview... [another word, impossible to discern] .... a
big surprise anyway.
KB: A big surprise, yes, yes. [seeming a little anxious]
GG: Exactly. [growing in confidence]
KB: With regard to the costs involved do you think now
more people will be downloading online?
GG: Actually, if you go everywhere you are gonna see a
lot of people downloading to internet and the website
everything they want. But I think, is much better for
development and to empower people what they want and
to get on the easy way and so faster if they are looking
for.
KB: This does really seem the way the music industry's
progressing now, that people want to go onto the website
and download music.
GG: Exactly. You can go everywhere on the cyber cafe
and you can take [maybe 'check'?], you can go easy. It's
going to be very easy way for everyone to get something
to the internet.
KB: Thank you [actually sounds more like 'Thank Kewney'
- as if Ms Bowerman was a little distracted, no wonder].
Thanks very much indeed.
Lessons from this:
L
Good clear communications are essential when
managing any sort of interview.
m
Pressure situations can easily lead people (especially
interviewees) to give false impressions, which are no
help to anyone.
h
The behaviours demonstrated in this incident illustrate

46. the power of suggestion, and NLP, albeit used mostly
inadvertently in this case; the point is that all
communications involve a hell of a lot more than just
words..
w
The power of the media to interpret just about
anything for their own journalistic purposes is bloody
frightening.
the very old lady story (positive
attitude, self-image, ageism)
A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had
three remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive
soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she
braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.
Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning,
preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two
hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a centre
parting today." She duly parted her two hairs, and as
ever, she had a great day.
A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left
on her head. "One hair huh...," she mused, "I know, a
pony-tail will be perfect." And again she had a great day.
The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was
completely bald.
"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I
won't have to waste time doing my hair any more.."
(Ack CB)
the train travellers story
(relationships, assumptions, etc)

47. A wealthy businessman who is used to getting his own
way finds himself sharing a sleeper compartment with a
beautiful young woman as they travel to Brussells on the
train. It is winter and the heating is not working so the
compartment is cold.
The two settle down to sleep.
"Two strangers, on a train..." says the businessman.
"Yes," says the woman.
"A man and a woman - away from home - probably
never meet again.." Says the businessman.
"Yes," says the woman.
"It's cold, isn't it?" says the businessman.
"Yes," says the woman.
"Could you pass me another blanket?" says the
businessman, "... Or maybe we could pretend to be man
and wife for tonight?.."
"Yes, that would be good," says the woman, "Get your
own bloody blanket."
the william pitt story (working
creatively to reach agreement,
managing situations and
environments, facilitation of
agreements)
There is the story of William Pitt, 1759-1806, British
statesman and Prime Minister from 1783-1801, who once
sought to expedite a crucial agreement in Parliament for
the movement of the British fleet to defend against the
French. The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Lord

48. Newcastle, had certain objections, but when Pitt called
on the Chancellor endeavouring to resolve the
differences, he found the Chancellor distinctly unhappy in
bed suffering with gout. The bedroom was freezing, and
when Pitt remarked on this, Lord Newcastle replied that
the cold weather would hinder the fleet movement, but
more particularly that the combination of the cold
conditions and the gout would prevent any further
discussion of the issue at that time, which Pitt quickly
judged to be at the root of the problem. Begging the
Chancellor's pardon, Pitt calmly removed his boots,
climbed into bed and drew up the covers (apparently
there was another bed in the room..), whereupon the two
were able to discuss the matter and soon agreed a united
way forward.
the biscuit factory story (making
assumptions, other people's
perspectives, individual needs and
motivations)
This is a true story. Some years ago the following
exchange was broadcast on an Open University
sociology TV programme.
An interviewer was talking to a female production-line
worker in a biscuit factory. The dialogue went like this:
Interviewer: How long have you worked here?
Production Lady: Since I left school (probably about 15
years).
Interviewer: What do you do?
Production Lady: I take packets of biscuits off the

49. conveyor belt and put them into cardboard boxes.
Interviewer: Have you always done the same job?
Production Lady: Yes.
Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?
Production Lady: Oooh Yes, it's great, everyone is so
nice and friendly, we have a good laugh.
Interviewer (with a hint of disbelief): Really? Don't you
find it a bit boring?
Production Lady: Oh no, sometimes they change the
biscuits...
My thanks to Shirley Moon for this lovely story, who also
points out the following lessons within it:
p
Do not impose your own needs and ambitions on to
other people who may not share them.
o
Don't assume that things that motivate you will
motivate someone else.
m
Recognise that sources of happiness may vary widely
between people.
See also the sections on personality styles, multiple
intelligence and learning styles, and motivation, which all
relate to this story.
a short story about eggs (time
management, creative thinking and
problem-solving)
A young woman was in her kitchen.
A pan of water was simmering on the stove.

50. She was making boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walked in.
Their eyes met.
"Make love to me here, now," she said.
They made love on the kitchen table.
"Couldn't resist me, huh?" he said.
"The egg timer is broken," she replied.
Of course this story is a bit far-fetched given that an egg
timer lasts for three whole minutes..
(Ack Detoxman)
the translator story (communications,
assumptions, creativity, deceit,
language, relationships, just deserts)
The story goes that a prominent, married, philandering,
wealthy politician took advantage of a young female
Italian translator during an overseas visit. Shortly after his
return home he received a phone call at his office from
the woman informing him that she was pregnant and that
he was definitely the father.
Seemingly experienced at dealing with such situations,
the politician instructed the young woman, "I will arrange
for you and the child to be provided for. Do not worry
about money. I will pay ten times the typical Italian
settlement, but this must be kept secret."
"I see," said the young woman, a little taken aback, but
since she knew the man and his reputation she was not

51. unduly surprised, and was also entirely happy never to
see or speak to him again.
He went on, "Don't ever call me again. Send me a
postcard with some sort of coded message confirming
date of birth, that the child is healthy and whether a boy
or girl. Use your imagination - you are a translator after
all."
"As you wish," said the young woman, and ended the
call.
A little under nine months later the politician's wife (who
was also his PA) was opening his mail. When she came
to a particular postcard the politician noticed and
suddenly became attentive.
"Here's a postcard..." said his wife.
"Oh yes," said the politician, "What does it say?"
"Just a silly joke I think," said his wife, continuing, as she
watched the colour drain from her husband's face, "It
says: 'March 12th - Just had three big beautiful bowls of
spaghetti - all with meatballs..' "
(Ack SF)
the helpful old lady story (check the
facts, false assumptions, etc)
One afternoon, an old lady, laden with shopping, noticed
two small boys on the front step of a house. With their
bags and uniforms they were obviously going home after
school. They were on tip-toe trying to reach the door-
bell with a stick.
"Poor little lads, they can't get in," she thought, "Parents
these days just don't seem to care."

52. So she marched up the path, reached over the boys and
gave the bell a long firm push.
The surprised boys turned around and screamed "Quick,
run!" and promptly disappeared over the garden wall.
the buddha and the abuse story
(responding to other people's
negative behaviour; angry customers,
disruptive kids, bad-tempered
bosses, etc)
A tale is told about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483BC),
the Indian prince and spiritual leader whose teachings
founded Buddhism. This short story illustrates that every
one of us has the choice whether or not to take personal
offence from another person's behaviour.
It is said that on an occasion when the Buddha was
teaching a group of people, he found himself on the
receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a
bystander, who was for some reason very angry.
The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented
his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to
the stranger, "If someone gives a gift to another person,
who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then
own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to
accept the gift?"
"The giver," said the group after a little thought. "Any fool
can see that," added the angry stranger.
"Then it follows, does it not," said the Buddha, "Whenever
a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on
us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the

53. abuse; whether to make it ours or not. By our personal
response to the abuse from another, we can choose who
owns and keeps the bad feelings."
(This is related to Transactional Analysis)
the gandhi shoe story (selfless
compassion, generosity without
strings)
Mohandas [Mahatma] Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948),
the great Indian statesman and spiritual leader is noted
for his unusual humanity and selflessness, which this
story epitomises. Gandhi was boarding a train one day
with a number of companions and followers, when his
shoe fell from his foot and disappeared in the gap
between the train and platform. Unable to retrieve it, he
took off his other shoe and threw it down by the first.
Responding to the puzzlement of his fellow travellers,
Gandhi explained that a poor person who finds a single
shoe is no better off - what's really helpful is finding a
pair.
Separately, Gandhi was once asked what he thought of
Western Civilisation. Gandhi replied: "I think that it would
be a very good idea."
The notion still applies.
(More inspirational and amusing quotes.)
greta garbo negotiation story
(negotiation tactics, negotiating
position, independence and the
power of choice)

54. Great Garbo (1905-90), the 1930's Swedish-born film
star, demonstrated how to negotiate with a bullying
adversary, and particularly the tactic of 'walking away'.
After Garbo had become established as a major star, she
decided to negotiate a contract that suitably reflected her
considerable box-office value to the producers.
Accordingly she demanded a weekly fee of $5,000 -
compared to the derisory $350 a week she'd previously
been paid. When film mogul Louis Mayer heard Garbo's
demand he offered her $2,500. Garbo replied simply, in
her Swedish-American accent, "I think I go home.." And
off she went.
Garbo returned to her hotel and stayed there, not
budging, while Mayer stewed - for seven months - at
which Mayer eventually caved in and gave Garbo what
she asked for.
(Interestingly Garbo never actually said, "I want to be
alone". There phrase was in fact "I want to be left alone,"
which her character Grusinskaya said in Garbo's 1932
film Grand Hotel. The resonance of the words with
Garbo's real life didn't just extend to her negotiating
style: she retired in 1941 with the world still at her feet,
and lived the rest of her life an obsessive recluse in New
York after becoming a US citizen in 1951.)
the jesse james story (tactics,
morality, good and bad in us all)
The notorious American Wild West bank robber Jesse
James (1847-82) was hunted and demonised by the
authorities, but was held in high regard by many ordinary
folk. Here's an example of why:
The story goes that Jesse James and his gang had taken

55. refuge for a few days in ramshackle farmhouse after one
of their raids. The old widow who lived there fed the men,
and apologised for her modest offerings and the poor
state of the accommodation. While the gang laid low,
they learned from the widow that she faced eviction from
her landlord and was expecting a visit from his debt
collector any day. Taking pity on the old lady, as they left,
the gang gave her some of the spoils of their robbery to
settle her debt - several hundred dollars, which was a
small fortune in those days. The gang moved on, but only
to a nearby copse, where for a couple more days they
watched and waited for the arrival - and departure - of
the debt collector, whom they promptly held up and
robbed.
Of course robbing anyone is bad, but if you've got to rob
someone...
the gorilla story (negotiating,
understanding communications,
agreeing clear objectives and
responsibilities)
A zoo had among its animals a female gorilla, whose
mood was becoming increasingly difficult. The vet
concluded that she was on heat and that a mate should
be found. The vet contacted some other nearby zoos to
find a partner for the broody female, but to no avail. The
female gorilla's behaviour continued to worsen, but the
vet noticed that she grew calmer, and strangely
responsive, whenever a particularly well-built and none-
too-handsome keeper entered the enclosure. Being an
unprincipled and adventurous fellow, the vet put an
outrageous proposition to the keeper: For a fee of five

56. hundred pounds would the keeper consider spending a
little 'quality time' with the gorilla, purely in the interests
of research of course?....
The keeper, also an unprincipled and adventurous fellow,
pondered the suggestion, and after a few minutes agreed
to the offer, subject to three conditions. The vet,
intrigued, listened to the keeper's demands:
"First," the keeper said, "No kissing."
"Fine," said the vet.
"Second, no-one must ever know - if this gets out I'll kill
you."
"You have my word," said the vet, "And your final
condition?"
"It's just," said the keeper a little awkwardly, "Can I have a
couple of weeks to raise the five hundred quid?"
(With acknowledgements to Shane and apologies to vets
and zoo-keepers everywhere.)
the priest and the politician story
(time management, being late, public
speaking)
After twenty-five years in the same parish, Father
O'Shaunessey was saying his farewells at his retirement
dinner. An eminent member of the congregation - a
leading politician - had been asked to make a
presentation and a short speech, but was late arriving.
So the priest took it upon himself to fill the time, and
stood up to the microphone:
"I remember the first confession I heard here twenty-five

57. years ago and it worried me as to what sort of place I'd
come to... That first confession remains the worst I've
ever heard. The chap confessed that he'd stolen a TV set
from a neighbour and lied to the police when questioned,
successfully blaming it on a local scallywag. He said that
he'd stolen money from his parents and from his
employer; that he'd had affairs with several of his friends'
wives; that he'd taken hard drugs, and had slept with his
sister and given her VD. You can imagine what I
thought... However I'm pleased to say that as the days
passed I soon realised that this sad fellow was a frightful
exception and that this parish was indeed a wonderful
place full of kind and decent people..."
At this point the politician arrived and apologised for
being late, and keen to take the stage, he immediately
stepped up to the microphone and pulled his speech
from his pocket:
"I'll always remember when Father O'Shaunessey first
came to our parish," said the politician, "In fact, I'm pretty
certain that I was the first person in the parish that he
heard in confession.."
(Ack Stephen Hart)
lipstick kisses on the mirror story
(creative thinking, creative problem-
solving, creative management
techniques, avoiding confrontation)
A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a
persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the girl
students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The
caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls asking for the

58. practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the
caretaker would wipe away the kisses, and the next day
lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had
become a bit of a game. The head teacher usually took a
creative approach to problem solving, and so the next
day she asked a few girl representatives from each class
to meet with her in the lavatory.
"Thank you for coming," said the head, "You will see
there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this
washroom.."
Some of the girls grinned at each other.
"As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly
designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is not
easy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore
had to develop a special cleaning regime, and my hope is
that when you see the effort involved you will help spread
the word that we'd all be better off if those responsible
for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in
future.."
At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge
squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet cubicles,
dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of
the lipstick-covered mirrors.
The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were
no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.
(Thanks H)
measuring by averages story
(analysis, measurement, statistics,
etc)

59. Three statisticians went hunting in the woods. Before
long, one of them pointed to a plump pigeon in a tree,
and the three of them stopped and took aim. The first
fired, missing the bird by a couple of inches to the left.
Immediately afterwards the second fired, but also missed,
a couple of inches to the right. The third put down his
gun exclaiming, "Great shooting lads, on average I
reckon we got it..."
(ack K Hutchinson)
the blind golfers story (an ironic
example of lack of empathy, and
different people's perspectives)
A clergyman, a doctor and a business consultant were
playing golf together one day and were waiting for a
particularly slow group ahead. The business consultant
exclaimed, "What's with these people? We've been
waiting over half and hour! It's a complete disgrace." The
doctor agreed, "They're hopeless, I've never seen such a
rabble on a golf course." The clergyman spotted the
approaching greenkeeper and asked him what was going
on, "What's happening with that group ahead of us?
They're surely too slow and useless to be playing, aren't
they?" The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime." The three golfers fell silent for a
moment. The clergyman said, "Oh dear, that's so sad. I
shall say some special prayers for them tonight." The
doctor added, rather meekly, "That's a good thought. I'll
get in touch with an ophthalmic surgeon friend of mine to
see if there's anything that can be done for them." After

60. pondering the situation for a few seconds, the business
consultant turned to the greenkeeper and asked, "Why
can't they play at night?"
(Other job-titles can be substituted instead of business
consultant to suit the purpose of the story, for example,
government advisor, venture capitalist, engineer, project
manager, accountant, finance director, quality manager,
etc)
the sales and marketing rugby
analogy story (for teams, motivation,
team-building, departmental
cooperation, training, public
speaking)
I am assured this is a true story. A consultant was asked
to give a talk at a sales conference. The CEO asks him to
focus on the importance of cooperation and teamwork
between the sales and marketing teams, since neither
group has a particularly high regard for the other, and the
lack of cohesion and goodwill is hampering effectiveness
and morale. The marketing staff constantly moan about
the sales people 'doing their own thing' and 'failing to
follow central strategy'; and the sales people say that the
marketing people are all 'idle theorists who waste their
time at exhibitions and agency lunches' and have 'never
done a decent day's work in their lives'.
Being a lover of rugby, the consultant decides to use the
analogy of a rugby team's forwards and backs working
together to achieve the best team performance:
"......So, just as in the game of rugby, the forwards, like
the marketing department, do the initial work to create

61. the platform and to make the opportunities, and
then pass the ball out to the backs, the sales
department, who then use their skills and energy to
score the tries. The forwards and the backs, just like
marketing and sales, are each good at what they do:
and they work together so that the team wins..." said
the consultant, finishing his talk.
The audience seemed to respond positively, and the
conference broke for lunch. At the bar the consultant
asked one of the top sales-people what he'd thought of
the analogy - had it given him food for thought?
"Yes, I see what you mean," said the salesman, "It does
make sense. The sales people - the backs, yes? - the
backs need the marketing department - the forwards,
yes? - to make the opportunities for us, so that we, the
backs, can go and score the tries - to win the business.
We work together as a team - each playing our own part
- working as a team."
The consultant beamed and nodded enthusiastically, only
to be utterly dashed when the salesman added as an
afterthought, "I still think our forwards are a bunch of
wankers..."
(with thanks to Martin Deighton)
the lock and key story (kindness and
generosity, 'good pebble ripples',
memorable customer service
experiences)
A British family were on holiday in a rented motor-home
in the USA. Travelling through California they visited the
Magic Mountain amusement park close by Los Angeles.

62. Mid-afternoon, halfway through what was turning out to
be a most enjoyable day at the park, Mum, Dad and the
three kids came upon a particularly steep plummeting
ride. In the queue, the ride attendants strongly warned
everyone about the risks of losing hats, spectacles, coins
and keys, etc., and these warnings were echoed by large
signs around the ride. During the ride, Dad lost the keys.
Due to the fact that the motor-home was a replacement
vehicle resulting from a breakdown earlier in the holiday,
there were no spare keys. And there were six keys on the
lost bunch: ignition, front doors, side door, fuel tank,
propane tank, and storage cupboards.
The park attendants drove the family back to the motor-
home, suggesting the least damaging ways to break into
it.
Fortunately a window had been left slightly open,
enabling the middle son to be put in and to open the
doors from the inside.
Inside the motor-home Mum and Dad discussed what to
do. They were stranded.
Middle son (all of six years old) said he'd got a key - said
he'd found it - but no-one was listening properly.
"Perhaps it will fit, I'll get it." (The optimism of young
children of course knows no bounds.)
Not thinking for one second that little lad's key would fit,
Dad tried it. Incredibly the key fitted the ignition - and the
driver's door. Middle son is a hero. It seems he'd found
the key in a cupboard when packing his clothes soon
after the motor-homes were swapped after the first
vehicle broke down.
The next day back at the camp site, Dad called a local

63. locksmith to see what could be done.
"I might be able to make new keys from the locks, if you
bring the vehicle to me," said the locksmith, so the family
drove to the locksmith, whose business was in a small
shopping centre in the California countryside.
The locksmith looked at the motor-home, and said he'd
try. "If you come back in an hour I'll know better what I
can do for you."
The family went to the nearby shops and a coffee bar to
pass the time. Dad returned to the locksmith to see how
things were going. The locksmith says he thought he
could make new keys for all the locks, but it would be a
long job.
In fact the job took the locksmith most of the day. The
family hung around the locksmiths, visited the shops
again, and generally made a day of being at the little
shopping centre. While working on the locks and the
keys, the locksmith talked with the family about England,
about America, about the rides at Las Vegas, about
motor-homes, about business, about locks, about
families and kids, about lots of things.
Late on in the afternoon the locksmith said that he'd
nearly done - "But you have time to go get something to
eat if you want. When you come back I'll be done." So
the family went to a burger bar for something to eat.
An hour later the family returned to the locksmith's shop.
It was 4pm and they'd been at the shopping centre since
10.00 in the morning.
When Dad entered the locksmith's shop the locksmith
was smiling. He put two new gleaming bunches of keys
on the counter. "Here you go - a new set of keys for all

64. the locks, and a spare set too," said the locksmith, "And I
tell you what I'm going to do..."
Dad offered his credit card, gratefully.
"You know, I've had such a great time with you guys
today," says the locksmith, "You can have these for free."
This is a true story. It happened over ten years ago. I still
tell people about it now, like I'm telling you. The company
is Newhall Valencia Lock & Key, in the El Centro
Shopping Center, Canyon Country, California. This little
company gave me and my family an experience that
transcended customer service, and I was delighted when
I found their business card in my kitchen drawer the other
day, because it prompted me to share this story and to
properly express my thanks.
Just a final note - I'm not suggesting that great customer
service is about giving your products and services away.
Obviously that's not a particularly sustainable business
model. What I'm saying though, is that there are times
when you'll see opportunity to do something really special
for a customer, or for another human being, and when
you do it, the ripples of your 'good pebble' can stretch
around the world, and last for years and years. So, within
the boundaries of what's possible and viable for you,
drop in a good pebble whenever you can and make some
ripples of your own.
the stranger and the gingernuts story
(making assumptions, think before
you act, different perspectives)
At the airport after a tiring business trip a lady's return

65. flight was delayed. She went to the airport shop, bought
a book, a coffee and a small packet containing five
gingernut biscuits. The airport was crowded and she
found a seat in the lounge, next to a stranger. After a few
minutes' reading she became absorbed in her book. She
took a biscuit from the packet and began to drink her
coffee. To her great surprise, the stranger in the next seat
calmly took one of the biscuits and ate it. Stunned, she
couldn't bring herself to say anything, nor even to look at
the stranger. Nervously she continued reading. After a
few minutes she slowly picked up and ate the third
biscuit. Incredibly, the stranger took the fourth gingernut
and ate it, then to the woman's amazement, he picked up
the packet and offered her the last biscuit. This being too
much to tolerate, the lady angrily picked up her
belongings, gave the stranger an indignant scowl and
marched off to the boarding gate, where her flight was
now ready. Flustered and enraged, she reached inside
her bag for her boarding ticket, and found her unopened
packet of gingernuts...
(Adapted from a suggestion submitted by S Frost.
Apparently the story appears in a variety of urban legends
dating from at least 30 years ago, and is also described
in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, book
four, 1984, 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish'. Ack L
Baldock.)
the england football story (cause and
effect, foundations of failure,
fundamental strategy, structure,
planning and philosophy, strategic
analysis)

66. When a business fails or struggles in some other way
people commonly look for recent tactical or incidental
causes, but the roots of failure are usually far deeper in
foundational strategies, structures and philosophies.
The poor performance of the England football team at the
FIFA 2010 World Cup offers an example of a venture
inflicted with fundamental problems, and therefore likely
to fail.
Here are some indicators (as at FIFA World Cup 2010) of
foundational weakness and vulnerability in the basic
organization and ethos of the England national football
effort. Think of it like a business. Success is difficult
when foundations are flaky and misaligned. With a little
imagination it is easy to relate these lessons/examples to
the business world.
The English Premiership (England's top domestic league
and effectively the pool from which the national team is
selected) is dominated by clubs which are:
s
Mostly owned, and the teams managed/coached, by
people/companies from outside of the UK, who have
little interest in the success of the England national
team, and in many cases have very strong national
football loyalties overseas.
f
Mostly staffed by players from outside of England
(two-thirds are from overseas), which restricts the
pool of available English national talent, and also the
opportunities for English home-grown talent to
develop and become experienced.
d
Clubs are very strongly profit-driven, and are so
debt-ridden as to be effectively bankrupt.
d
As a consequence of these commercial pressures,

67. players are forced to play too many games in a
season (generally far more than their international
counterparts), without break, and so that when the
World Cup happens it is during the one month in the
year when players would normally be resting and
recovering.
The leadership of the Football Association, guardian of
England's national game, has for some years been
chaotic and disjointed, indicators being:
c
Recent resignations of Chief Executive and Chairman.
R
Regular scandals and infighting.
R
Lack of control over domestic game and clubs.
Other 'foundations of failure' indicators:
O
England has approximately 10% of the number of
FIFA qualified coaches compared to European
countries like Spain, Germany, Italy, and France
(about 2,700 compared to about 20,000 or 30,000 in
these other countries).
t
The coach of the national team is not English and
cannot speak English properly. It is not ideal to have
coach who cannot communicate effectively, and by
virtue of his foreign nationality cannot possibly have
English national pride in the truest sense. Would an
Englishman ever coach the Italian or German national
team? This is not xenophobia (dislike of foreigners)
or discrimination, it is practicality and common
sense.
s
The coach is paid £5 million (or £6m, depending on
interpretation) per year, regardless of performance;
moreover failure and early departure is effectively

68. rewarded because of a contracted fixed two-year
term termination payment (although the effect of this
is probably to maintain a failed situation - because
the cost of change is prohibitive).
t
England players are paid around £100,000 per week;
for doing another job (playing for their clubs). Failure
at national level may be slightly upsetting for a day or
two, but it does not really hurt or matter.
t
At least one England squad member had to be asked
by the coach to make himself available for his
country. Another could not be persuaded. National
representation is a peak sporting achievement. It's
worrying when candidates reject this notion, and just
as worrying when such candidates are pursued and
recruited.
r
Culturally the integrity and ethos of football -
especially what it means to be a footballer - has
been lost to the corporate world. The focus (of the
role-models and therefore the kids) is no longer on
ball skills and being the best - it's on the brands, the
replica shirts, the day-glo boots and the millionaire
celebrity lifestyles. Not much works well when hype
dominates substance.
A national football team is in many ways like a business.
It needs solid strategic and philosophical foundations.
Misalignment at a basic level eventually produces
problems at the level of tactical or operational
implementation. Like a national football team, if a
business fails at a tactical or operational level, the causes
- and therefore the solutions - are generally much
deeper than they seem.
This story can be useful in demonstrating/exploring the

69. strategic business analysis tools such as SWOT, PEST
and Porter's Five Forces model, and in researching
fundamental drivers/indicators of strategic viability.
the new employee stories
(importance of induction training for
new starters, initiative and lateral
thinking, interpretation, delegation,
rules, checking and monitoring)
These (allegedly true) short stories provide amusing
examples of lateral thinking and initiative, and staff
training (or lack of) at the workplace. It is better to train
people properly rather than assume that new starters
have the necessary initiative to work out for themselves
what they should be doing..
the new bus driver story
While transporting some unfortunate mental patients from
one secure place to another, the newly appointed bus
driver stopped at a roadside restaurant for natural break.
On his return to the bus, all twenty patients were gone.
Being a resourceful fellow and fearing the consequences
of his negligence, he drove to the next bus stop, where
he claimed to be a replacement for the usual service.
Allowing twenty people aboard, the driver made straight
for his destination, where he warned staff at the gates
that the 'patients' were deluded and extremely volatile.
The angry 'patients' were duly removed, sedated and
incarcerated, and remained in detention for three days,
until staff were able to check the records and confirm
their true identities. The actual patients were never found.

70. the new elevator cleaner story
A new hotel employee was asked to clean the elevators
and report back to the supervisor when the task was
completed. When the employee failed to appear at the
end of the day the supervisor assumed that like many
others he had simply not liked the job and left. However,
after four days the supervisor bumped into the new
employee. He was cleaning in one of the elevators. "You
surely haven't been cleaning these elevators for four
days, have you?" asked the supervisor, accusingly. "Yes
sir," said the employee, "This is a big job and I've not
finished yet - do you realise there are over forty of them,
two on each floor, and sometimes they are not even
there.."
the bedtime story (communications,
men and women, communications
methods, relationships)
A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as
bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It
was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of
silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion
the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at
4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and
being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife
to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was
in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: 'Please
wake me at 4:30am - I have an important flight to catch'.
He put the note on his wife's pillow, then turned over and
went to sleep.
The man awoke the next morning and looked at the
clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he'd missed his flight,

71. he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her
a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note
on his bedside cabinet.
The note said: 'It's 4:30am - get up.'
the sergeant major's rude parrot
story (examples of management
styles)
A retired sergeant major inherited a talking parrot from a
recently departed relative who had run a busy dockside
pub. For the first few days in his new home the normally
talkative parrot was distinctly shy. The old major, despite
his stern and disciplined ways, felt sorry for the bird, and
gently encouraged it with soft words and pieces of fruit.
After a week or so the parrot began to find its voice - a
little at first - and then more so. Responding to the kind
treatment, the parrot's vocabulary continued to recover,
including particularly the many colourful expressions it
had been taught in the dockside pub. The old sergeant
major began to be quite irritated by the parrot's incessant
rudeness, and after a few more days of worsening
profanities, decided action was required to bring the bird
under control. The sergeant major tried at first to
incentivise the parrot with the promise of reward for good
behaviour, but to no avail. He next tried to teach the bird
a lesson by withdrawing its privileges, again to no avail;
the parrot remained stubbornly rude. Finally the old major
flipped into battleground management mode; he grabbed
the bird, clamped his hands around its beak, and thrust
the struggling, swearing parrot, into the top drawer of the
freezer, slamming the door tightly shut. The swearing and
struggling noises continued inside the freezer for a few