Influence Skills Friday April 5, 2013

1. Influence Skills
The Power of Influence
Andrew L. Urich, J.D.
Puterbaugh Professor of
Ethics & Legal Studies
Oklahoma State University
aurich@okstate.edu
www.andrewurich.com
405.744.8619

2. Can I Influence You?
McDonald’s Coffee Case
Is $3 Million Reasonable?
www.andrewurich.com

3. Idea #1
The Facts Don’t Matter………
If No One Believes You
 The FACTS don’t matter!
– Politics
– Marketing vs. Finance
 Literally a matter of life and death.
 Ability to influence is a key to success.
www.andrewurich.com

4. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
 I am a hypocrite.
 I play favorites.
 I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.
 I have been known to ignore rules that get in my
way.
 I like people better if they like me.
www.andrewurich.com

5. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
 I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.
 I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so.
 You cannot change how I see the world.
 It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others.
 I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I
know everything.
www.andrewurich.com

6. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
 I like to be “right.”
 I love to say “I told you so.”
 I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare
situations when it looks like I might be.
 Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want
the answer to be – and then make up the logical
reasons to support my decision.
www.andrewurich.com

7. Idea #3
Conflict Is Underrated
 Everyone wants to participate in
decisions that affect them.
 Dispersion of power causes conflict and
growing pains.
 Conflict
identifies opportunities for
improvement.
www.andrewurich.com

8. Idea #4
Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN
 Use competence and commitment instead of
position and status.
 Team building and leadership are not based on
authority.
 We are influencing all of the time – positively or
negatively.
 The sign in PS 101
 My daughter wants to go to Vegas
 Authority at Tinker Air Force Base www.andrewurich.com

9. Idea #5
When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”
 It’s
not what you say….it’s how you make
them feel.
 My neighbor’s pictures
 Baby pictures
 The IT people
www.andrewurich.com

10. The Advantage of Ethical Influence
“A lie can travel halfway around
the world while the truth is putting
on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain
www.andrewurich.com

11. Keys to Influence &
Informal Negotiation
Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!
 A little preparation saves the day.
 It’s not always what you do say – it’s
often what you don’t say.
www.andrewurich.com

12. Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning
1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger.
(Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.
(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
www.andrewurich.com

13. COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS
If They Aren’t Listening…
It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.

14. Communication Blockers
Multiple Choice Question
a) U.S.D.A.
b) A.A.A.E.
c) OSU Ag College
d) K Fed
www.andrewurich.com

15. Communication Blockers
Multiple Choice Question
a) U.S.D.A.
b) A.A.A.E.
c) OSU Ag College
d) K Fed
www.andrewurich.com

16. Limit the Impact of Your Point of View
 Areyou impacted by experience?
(Driving Rule of Relativity)
 Are you assuming everyone should think
like you?
 Could you be wrong?
www.andrewurich.com

17. Overcome the Bias of Others
 What stereotypes might they have about
you?
 How can you outflank their bias?
 People can only hear and incorporate
things they understand.
www.andrewurich.com

18. Learn to Open Closed Minds
 Things are exactly as people choose to
see them.
 Is it important enough to care?
 Value diversity.
www.andrewurich.com

19. Win/Win Opportunities
Managing the Impact of Self Interest.

20. Factor in the Interests
of Both Sides
 How will the other person profit from your
relationship?
 Can you make the other person’s job easier?
 Can you help the other person appear better in
the eyes of his/her superiors?
www.andrewurich.com

21. Win/Win
Make the Pie Bigger
Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It
 Win/Win is an attitude.
– 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy.
– Pay close attention to their concerns.
– Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to
identify new options.
www.andrewurich.com

22. Win/Win Attitude
 Ka-shing

23. Become a Persuasive Manager
Be Likeable and Look the Part!

24. Learn to Become EVEN More Likeable
We prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.
 We like, trust, and believe people who like us.
www.andrewurich.com

25. Learn to Become More Likeable
It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.
Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:
– More productive
– Responsible
– Personally acceptable
– More intelligent
– More honest
– Hardworking
– Taking their job seriously www.andrewurich.com

26. Learn to Become More Likeable
 Consistently search for similarities between
yourself and those with which you deal.
 Develop the habit of giving sincere
compliments.
 Familiarity and contact enhance liking.
www.andrewurich.com

27. Learn to Become More Likeable
 Listening and taking an interest in the other
person
 Friendliness
 Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in,
eye contact
 People like optimistic and enthusiastic people.
www.andrewurich.com

28. Avoid Conflict and Confrontations
Make Them Feel Good About You.

29. You Will Never
Prove Them Wrong
 Have you ever done it before?
 Would you rather be right, or would you
rather be happy?
 How would you feel if someone proved
you wrong?
www.andrewurich.com

30. Avoid Confrontations
 What they say – has a lot to do with what
you already said.
 Theirlife experience is different than
yours.
 Focus on the issue – don’t make it
personal.
 Be very considerate. www.andrewurich.com

31. Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning
1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger.
(Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.
(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
www.andrewurich.com

32. Summary of Influence and
Persuasion
The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
1. The most important thing – do they like you?
2. The other most important thing – break through
communication blockers.
3. Authority is out – influence is in.
4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you
to great success.
5. Look for Win/win opportunities. www.andrewurich.com

33. Summary of Influence and
Persuasion
The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
6. You have a point of view.
7. Do not underestimate self-interest.
8. You will never prove them wrong.
9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them
feel.
10. Good relationships provide power,
security and success! www.andrewurich.com

34. Thank You
Please keep in touch.
aurich@okstate.edu
www.andrewurich.com
I Like You!
www.andrewurich.com

35. References
 Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.
 Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
 Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980
 Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster,
1989.
 Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997.
 Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981.
 Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993.
 Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984.
 Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
 Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.
 Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993.
 Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994.
 Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995.
 Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993.
 Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs,
N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.
www.andrewurich.com