One of my projects that I had to do in Substance abuse and the family!

1. Communication within Families Chrystal M. Dubay Argosy University PSY 481 March 15, 2010 Lee Budahn

2. Index Introduction about scenarios Family systems Boundaries How each boundary manifests itself Conclusion Reference

3. Introduction Family’s have a system and boundaries that most family’s need, either being extreme boundaries or not to extreme and leant. Those systems include the role of parents and children. Family’s are units that are the foundation of a family system. When one member does something it affects all the members of the family and a prime example would be the first scenario, in which the child has no boundaries and is told that she may go to the movies, but at last minute the mother revokes her privileges and instead makes her stay home and goes out to a bar. This affects the child in the family because not only she can not do what she was told she could do in the first place, her mother instead of full filling wishes goes to the bar. It is how parents effect their children in a way that can psychology affect them later on. The family system is how we set boundaries for all members of the family and not just one particular person.

4. Family Systems As said before family systems is one unit and every member is affect by one idea or action. It is assumed that all members have different personalities, habits, perspectives and interpretations of events ( Argosy University Online, 2010). Not all members of the family system is going to agree upon something's and parents are among that as well. When you shoot the cue ball into a cluster of other balls it scatters them in various direction; some more than others (Argosy University Online, 2010). Metaphorically speaking means that even one member of the family can affect each other. An example, would be in the second scenario the girl was told that she could not go to the movies because it was to late past her curfew and since she really wanted to go she asked her mother to talk to her father and she said no. If the mother would of talk to the father and full fill her daughters wishes the girl wouldn’t be upset. One event can shake up a house especially addiction and arguments.

5. Boundaries Many children need boundaries in a family system and without them they are going to do what they want that may cause issues within the family system. Permeable boundaries are clear and direct but flexible (Argosy University Online, 2010). An example would be the last scenario with the boy who also wanted to go to the movies and he’s parents were willing to let him stay out late only if he did his chores and homework. This is a reasonable solution for both the parents and the child. The parents put a health boundary for the child by given them a choice to either do their homework and chores then they could go to the movies or not. Family members communicate with one another with mutual respect and are considerate of each other’s needs to space and privacy(Argosy University Online, 2010). Communication is the key to extinguish boundaries with children within the family system. When rigid boundaries are in place there is a greater emphasis on “keeping the rules” over nurturing the relationships(Argosy University Online, 2010). Such as the second scenario of the child not being able to go because it’s to late, even though it is on the weekend. Putting restrictions on things can either be health or not and establishing health ones is important in a family system.

6. How each boundary manifests itself Diffuse kind of boundary can manifests itself into something controlling. Members offer each other a high degree of support but often are confused by where the boundary line between members exists(Argosy University, 2010). Such as the first scenario of the girl who’s mother told her that she couldn’t go at the last moment and went out to the bar instead. This may manifest into confusion and not understanding why her mother revoked her promise. This might manifest in one member speaking for another, or one member trying to control another member’s actions(Argosy University Online, 2010). The mother is controlling her actions by not letting her go to the movies at the last minute and doing what she wants to do. Homes that are characterized by substance abuse often have unhealthy emotional rules that dictate the way members express themselves or interact with one another(Argosy University Online, 2010). Since her mother feels that she can do what she wants her daughter may feel the same way too.

7. Conclusion In conclusion, boundaries is essential in a family system and having an equal level between rules is important. Children need boundaries, but they need health boundaries that can help provide a healthy way of living later on. One action can hurt every member of the family system and so it is crucial to set those boundaries.

8. Reference: Argosy University Online. (2010). The Family System. Retrieved on March 15, 2010 from http://myeclassonline.com/re/DotNextLaunch.asp?courseid=4013878