Introduction to non-violent communication

1. NON-VIOLENT
COMMUNICATION
Phil Adams

2. Empathetically listening to:
 Observations
 Feelings
 Needs
 Requests
Niclindh on Flickr

3. Honestly expressing:
 Observations
 Feelings
 Needs
 Requests
{studiobeerhorst}-bbmarie on Flickr

4. For and Against
 For
 Compassion
 Against
 fear,
 guilt,
 shame,
 blame,
coercion,
LWPrencipe on Flickr

 threat or
 justification for punishment.

5. Skills 1: Observation
 Differentiating
observation from
evaluation, being
able to carefully
observe what is
happening free of
evaluation, and to
specify behaviours
AMP Alex on Flickr and conditions that
are affecting us.

6. Skills 2: Identifying feelings
Differentiating feeling
from thinking, being
able to identify and
express internal
feeling states in a
way that does not
imply judgment,
criticism, or Xomiele on Flickr
blame/punishment.

7. Skills 3: Recognising needs
 Connecting with the
universal human
needs/values (e.g.
sustenance, trust,
understanding) in us
that are being met or
not met in relation to
what is happening and
how we are feeling.
Xomiele on Flickr

8. Skills 4: Making requests
Requesting what we would
like in a way that clearly
and specifically states
what we do want (rather
than what we don’t
want), and that is truly a
request and not a
demand (i.e. attempting
to motivate, however
subtly, out of fear, guilt,
shame, obligation, etc. U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service –
rather than out of Northeast Region on Flickr
willingness and
compassionate giving).

9. Should lead to:
 Respect
 Attentiveness
and empathy
 Mutual desire to
give from the
heart
Alasam on Flickr

10. More details:
 Center for Nonviolent Communication
 http://www.cnvc.org/