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MarriageFire.com




Strong Marriages Getting Stronger
Were you dragged here?
Our Story – Lori & Tom Penton
• We started dating in 1989
• Married in 1994
• We have 3 kids: Aly (14), Brock (12), Eva (8)
• We live in Prior Lake
• We attend church at Hosanna!, Lakeville (since
  2000)
• We love to take vacations, go out on the boat,
  and watch sports together
Our Story – Lori & Tom Penton
• Discovered Love Languages and it changed our
  marriage!
• Became involved with a small group, mission
  trips, Dudes’ Group, retreats
• We became stronger as a couple
• Meanwhile, our friends began divorcing
• Why?
Decline of the American Family
Kid-Centric Crazy
A vision came to me to help counter divorce, to
      build a tool to strengthen marriages
Our Story (it’s a long one)
           Lori & Tom Penton
• 2008 - Slowly, but surely, MarriageFire
  community is building
• 2011 - Aligned with Alpha and The Marriage
  Course
• Fall of 2011 - Lori diagnosed with breast
  cancer
• Spring 2012 – Energized and ready to move
  forward – encouraging marriages
• Here we are today
How did they get so strong?
How did they get so strong?
How did they get so strong?
How did they get so strong?
How did they get so strong?
How did they get so strong?
STRENGTH
• Invest in the gym and eat right, you will be fit.
• Invest in your marriage and work at it, your
  marriage will be stronger.
• What you are doing right now, is equivalent of
  going to the gym for your marriage. We
  applaud you! It all adds up!
• Why stigma with working on marriage?
• TMC Husband Story – “I thought we had a
  good marriage?”
MarriageFire.com
Where did MarriageFire come from?
MarriageFire.com
“MarriageFire.com is the perfect companion to
 The Marriage Course. It’s one thing to talk
 about marriage best practices. MarriageFire
 helps put them into action, striving to keep
 your marriage strong, well after the course is
 over."
  – Derek and Cathy Rust, Directors The Marriage
    Course USA
Brain Storm
• Write down some LIFE goals (5 mins).
• Dream travel destinations, a marathon, bucket
  list, sky diving, etc.
• Share/discuss with your spouse (5 mins).
MarriageFire Analogy
The start of any hot romantic relationship.
MarriageFire Analogy
What happens when you sit back and do nothing.
MarriageFire Analogy
 Keep working at it and enjoy.
TMC Reflection
Taking Stock of Your Marriage
      Revisit Exercise 1
TMC Reflection
• Session 1 – Building Strong Foundations.
• This is the primary area of TMC that MarriageFire
  reinforces.
• How are you doing since the course?
• Are you going on a weekly date night?
• Are you connecting daily?
• Are you speaking each other’s love languages
  daily?
• Are you in the comfort zone?
• Comfort zone = Fade zone.
Brain Storm
• Write down some objectives that you would
  love to see accomplished in next 12 months.
  (5 mins).
• Share/discuss with your spouse (5 mins).
Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment
   Normal to come out of seminar fired up.
Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment
     Normal to go back in comfort zone.
Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment
Fade kicks in – tiny steps each day turn into miles.
• The best businesses constantly bench
  mark/measure themselves. So should
  marriages
Session 1 – Making Time
•   We need reminders.
•   We need a plan.
•   We need to be held accountable.
•   You build a list/Outlook/plan at work, why
    wouldn’t you do the same for your marriage?
Get a greater understanding
of each other – The ‘WishList’
Self Centered to Others Centered
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to
the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of
Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:4-5 NIV)

“You are most like Christ when you ask, “What are her/his needs, and
how can I meet them?” When you're angry, you're preoccupied with
yourself. But when you're like Christ, you look to each other's interests
and not merely your own.” - Pastor Rick Warren

That is what MarriageFire.com is all about. Tuning in better to your
spouse’s needs and how you can meet them. If you consciously did
that everyday and your spouse did the same, your marriage will be
stronger.
WishList
• Your WishList is broken down into several
  major categories:
  – My Favorites
  – Daily Wishes
  – Weekly Wishes
  – Monthly Wishes
  – Annual Goals
  – Life Goals
Get a greater understanding
of each other – The ‘WishList’
Click on ‘My Scheduler’
WishList Builder Exercise
• Fill out your WishList Form.
• If you have extra time, share with your
  spouse.
• 10 – 15 minutes.
Implementation
•   Fire up your lap tops and tablets
•   Enter your key data
•   Follow the packet
•   We’ll be here to support
•   Estimated session time 20-30 mins
Thank you!!!


• Feedback – will you help us improve?
• Make sure to sign email list.
• Email us at info@marriagefire.com
• Spread the word – sign up marriages(s) closest
  to you.
• Like us on Facebook.
• @MarriageFire
Have fun!


It’s your MarriageFire.
           Stoke It!
Building Up of the American Family
• How to Counter the ‘FADE’?
     • Invest in the marriage.
        – Bi-monthly date night reminders.
        – Doing exactly what you are doing right now (Church, seminars
          together).
        – The Marriage Course, Love Languages, Sheet Music,
          Rebuilders, MarriageFire.com.
        – Act on what is most important to your spouse.
        – Date night ideas/suggestions.
        – Daily ‘connection time ‘ reminders.
        – Counter lack of communication with email/text reminders.
        – Once set, reminders continue on far beyond the class and
          continue for the life of the marriage.

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MarriageFire_ TMC_tune up_nhlc

  • 3. Our Story – Lori & Tom Penton • We started dating in 1989 • Married in 1994 • We have 3 kids: Aly (14), Brock (12), Eva (8) • We live in Prior Lake • We attend church at Hosanna!, Lakeville (since 2000) • We love to take vacations, go out on the boat, and watch sports together
  • 4.
  • 5.
  • 6.
  • 7. Our Story – Lori & Tom Penton • Discovered Love Languages and it changed our marriage! • Became involved with a small group, mission trips, Dudes’ Group, retreats • We became stronger as a couple • Meanwhile, our friends began divorcing • Why?
  • 8. Decline of the American Family
  • 10. A vision came to me to help counter divorce, to build a tool to strengthen marriages
  • 11. Our Story (it’s a long one) Lori & Tom Penton • 2008 - Slowly, but surely, MarriageFire community is building • 2011 - Aligned with Alpha and The Marriage Course • Fall of 2011 - Lori diagnosed with breast cancer • Spring 2012 – Energized and ready to move forward – encouraging marriages • Here we are today
  • 12.
  • 13.
  • 14. How did they get so strong?
  • 15. How did they get so strong?
  • 16. How did they get so strong?
  • 17. How did they get so strong?
  • 18. How did they get so strong?
  • 19. How did they get so strong?
  • 20. STRENGTH • Invest in the gym and eat right, you will be fit. • Invest in your marriage and work at it, your marriage will be stronger. • What you are doing right now, is equivalent of going to the gym for your marriage. We applaud you! It all adds up! • Why stigma with working on marriage? • TMC Husband Story – “I thought we had a good marriage?”
  • 22. MarriageFire.com “MarriageFire.com is the perfect companion to The Marriage Course. It’s one thing to talk about marriage best practices. MarriageFire helps put them into action, striving to keep your marriage strong, well after the course is over." – Derek and Cathy Rust, Directors The Marriage Course USA
  • 23. Brain Storm • Write down some LIFE goals (5 mins). • Dream travel destinations, a marathon, bucket list, sky diving, etc. • Share/discuss with your spouse (5 mins).
  • 24. MarriageFire Analogy The start of any hot romantic relationship.
  • 25. MarriageFire Analogy What happens when you sit back and do nothing.
  • 26. MarriageFire Analogy Keep working at it and enjoy.
  • 28. Taking Stock of Your Marriage Revisit Exercise 1
  • 29. TMC Reflection • Session 1 – Building Strong Foundations. • This is the primary area of TMC that MarriageFire reinforces. • How are you doing since the course? • Are you going on a weekly date night? • Are you connecting daily? • Are you speaking each other’s love languages daily? • Are you in the comfort zone? • Comfort zone = Fade zone.
  • 30. Brain Storm • Write down some objectives that you would love to see accomplished in next 12 months. (5 mins). • Share/discuss with your spouse (5 mins).
  • 31. Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment Normal to come out of seminar fired up.
  • 32. Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment Normal to go back in comfort zone.
  • 33. Expectations – Reality = Disillusionment Fade kicks in – tiny steps each day turn into miles.
  • 34. • The best businesses constantly bench mark/measure themselves. So should marriages
  • 35. Session 1 – Making Time • We need reminders. • We need a plan. • We need to be held accountable. • You build a list/Outlook/plan at work, why wouldn’t you do the same for your marriage?
  • 36. Get a greater understanding of each other – The ‘WishList’
  • 37. Self Centered to Others Centered “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:4-5 NIV) “You are most like Christ when you ask, “What are her/his needs, and how can I meet them?” When you're angry, you're preoccupied with yourself. But when you're like Christ, you look to each other's interests and not merely your own.” - Pastor Rick Warren That is what MarriageFire.com is all about. Tuning in better to your spouse’s needs and how you can meet them. If you consciously did that everyday and your spouse did the same, your marriage will be stronger.
  • 38. WishList • Your WishList is broken down into several major categories: – My Favorites – Daily Wishes – Weekly Wishes – Monthly Wishes – Annual Goals – Life Goals
  • 39. Get a greater understanding of each other – The ‘WishList’
  • 40. Click on ‘My Scheduler’
  • 41. WishList Builder Exercise • Fill out your WishList Form. • If you have extra time, share with your spouse. • 10 – 15 minutes.
  • 42. Implementation • Fire up your lap tops and tablets • Enter your key data • Follow the packet • We’ll be here to support • Estimated session time 20-30 mins
  • 43. Thank you!!! • Feedback – will you help us improve? • Make sure to sign email list. • Email us at info@marriagefire.com • Spread the word – sign up marriages(s) closest to you. • Like us on Facebook. • @MarriageFire
  • 44. Have fun! It’s your MarriageFire. Stoke It!
  • 45. Building Up of the American Family • How to Counter the ‘FADE’? • Invest in the marriage. – Bi-monthly date night reminders. – Doing exactly what you are doing right now (Church, seminars together). – The Marriage Course, Love Languages, Sheet Music, Rebuilders, MarriageFire.com. – Act on what is most important to your spouse. – Date night ideas/suggestions. – Daily ‘connection time ‘ reminders. – Counter lack of communication with email/text reminders. – Once set, reminders continue on far beyond the class and continue for the life of the marriage.