1. percolator talk
Some of us want to be
mothers and some of us
don’t. We explore the
growing reality that not
all women have the
pitter-patter of little feet
in their plans.
The Mommy Instinct:
Do All Women Have It?
BY LORI BOSWORTH
Child
Promotions
Travel
Personal Time
Financial Comfort
JANUARY 2015 | THE MOVIE ISSUE58
FOTOLIA.COM

2. percolator talk
It’s universally accepted that all women possess
a maternal instinct. Once they enter their late
twenties, women are urged to start paying attention
to their biological clocks to ensure they leave
enough time for childbearing. Yet recent studies
reveal that not all women care to have children.
More to Life Than Children
While a woman’s place used to be at home raising children, today more
and more women want to focus on building their careers. In her research,
evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa found that intelligence is
correlated to childbearing. Kanazawa discovered that the more intelligent a
woman is the more likely she is to remain childless. The study determined
that for every increase of 15 IQ points, a woman’s odds of becoming a parent
will decrease by 21 to 25 per cent. Perhaps women with higher IQs have more
education and career opportunities, explaining their tendency to have fewer
children.
Unaffordable Costs
of Daycare and Beyond
Many women are foregoing motherhood because they simply can’t afford
children (or prefer not to take on the economical burden). Some families
cannot afford to have just one person working, yet with childcare costs in
some Canadian communities taking up more than a third of women’s income,
daycare is not always an option. An article in The Atlantic (Don’t Rule Out
Having Children Because You Want to Have a Career) notes, that countries
such as Sweden and France that offer affordable daycare and long maternity
leaves (Sweden offers 420 days of maternity leave), have witnessed an upward
tick in the birthrate while countries that do not offer these social programs
experience a decline in births.
Also expenses like diapers, baby food, furniture and clothes for an ever-
growing child are just the beginning of a long road of expenses like hockey,
music lessons, tablets, cell phones, video game consoles, birthday parties,
spending money and of course their education. The Financial Consumer
Agency of Canada reports that the average cost of annual tuition including
textbooks at a Canadian university is $6,772. And for students who choose
to live in residence, you can add upwards of $5,000 to that figure.
Maternity Leaves and Promotions
There’s also the question of whether women climbing the corporate ladder
are penalized for taking maternity leave. The Wharton Work/Life Integration
Project concluded that women recognize that having a family will impede
theircareerprogression.Incountrieswithlong,paidmaternityleaves,suchas
Canada, half as many women are in management versus an equal number of
women and men in management positions in the U.S. where parental leaves
are short. Not only do these women suffer from restricted career acceleration,
they also suffer reduced wages. A TD Economics report, Career Interrupted:
TheEconomicImpactofMotherhood,statesthatthe“motherhoodgap”could
explain differences in gender wages. The report found that women who went
on maternity leave experience “an unexplained, but persistent three per cent
wage penalty per year of absence.”
Attitude Shift
Women who opt not to have children are also facing less public pressure
than before. Over the past few decades, society has become more accepting
towardswomenwhodon’twantchildren.Forexample,aGeneralSocialSurvey
found that in 1988, 39 per cent of adults thought people without children
lead full lives, while in 2002, that figure rose to 59 per cent. Further, a study
in The Journal of Marriage and Family showed that women who choose not to
have children experience little unhappiness about their lifestyle.
Societal and Familial Pressures
Despite personal reservations, many women give in to societal or familial
pressures and have children. Fifty-seven-year-old Isabella Dutton in the U.K.
created an uproar when she published a confession in The Daily Mail saying
she regretted having children. Dutton said she caved into her husband’s
wishes and got pregnant; however, shortly after giving birth she realized
that having a child had been the biggest mistake of her life and that feeling
never went away. Even though she didn’t take it out on the children, saying
that since the decision was made she was determined to fulfil her role as
mother, she said her life was never again the way she wanted it. If it’s not
her husband, parents, in-laws, aunts, friends and even strangers constantly
bombard childless married women with questions about when they are going
to have kids or what they are waiting for? In order to gain acceptance, hush
the critics or because they start to question their decision, many women
choose the path of childbearing.
Cultural Pressures on South Asian
Women Who Don’t Want Children
In South Asia, arranged marriages, at ages as young as 18, are typical so South
Asian women in North America may experience a significant adjustment to
societal standards regarding marriage and children. In South Asian culture,
fulfilling one’s duty and obligations to parents is critical for children. If a
woman doesn’t want to have a family, South Asian parents typically use
guilt and shame to control her behaviour, making it difficult for South Asian
women to break free from the traditional cycle of early marriage and children.
Do unwanted children suffer?
Of course there are serious ramifications as a result of women bearing
unwanted children. An article in The Atlantic (Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely
Normal) references research conducted by The University of Michigan’s
Jennifer Barber that determined that children who were unintended received
less emotional support than planned children. Barber’s research considered
factors such as the number of children’s books in the home, and how often
a parent taught counting or language skills to their child. Not only were
unplanned children denied fewer resources than their planned counterparts,
they also experienced harsher punishment from their parents. Perhaps more
alarming is the fact that Barber noted that parenting unintended children
results in increased child health problems, child abuse and child mortality,
which Barber notes was due to added parental stress. ä
Fifty-seven-year-old
Isabella Dutton in
the U.K. created an
uproar when she
published a confession
in The Daily Mail
saying she regretted
having children.
TAP HERE TO CHECK OUT:
Saying “Not Now” To ParenthoodBLOG
ANOKHIMEDIA.COM 59