I was first introduced to the concept of Positive Influencing on a leadership course many years ago and I have tried to apply it ever since. The principle is simple but very effective. If the definition of influencing could be described as "affecting or changing the way that someone acts, behaves or thinks", Positive Influencing adds the caveat "...where both parties are happy with the outcome." If you enter into a conversation thinking purely about achieving a pre-determined, one-sided outcome, you may succeed but it will probably end up being a Pyrrhic victory. You may achieve a quick win but if one party is unhappy, it's unlikely to be the start of a successful, long term relationship. The objective is to achieve a win-win where both parties view the end result as positive. There are two main ways to influence people - using push (active) or pull (passive) behaviour. I've summarised these approaches and their pros and cons on a couple of slides - I hope you find them useful. Using the right techniques to positively influence people will definitely open doors for you. Please check out my full article on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/positive-influencing-pull-other-one-jon-stephenson

1. Jon Stephenson
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/stephensonjon
Positive Influencing – pull the other one!
Pull behaviours – being collaborative and visionary by:
• Exploring options – “So, let’s consider some of the different ways we could try to achieve X”
• Demonstrating openness – “So, I'm open to suggestions. How do you think we should do X?”
• Practising active listening – “So, you’re saying you’d be happy for us to do X, if we considered Y?”
• Painting a compelling picture – “So, just imagine how great it would be, if we did X and achieved Y”
• Focusing & building upon common ground – “So, we both want to improve Y; we could try doing X”
Push behaviours – being directive and persuasive by:
• Giving your views and opinions
– “I think we should definitely go with X because it will…”
• Expressing your feelings
– “I’m really not keen on Y, but I'd be happy to go with X”
• Stating your expectations
– “I need you to do X and it must be finished by DD/MM”
• Using incentives and pressures
– “I'll give you Y, if you do X” or “if you don’t do X, I will…”

2. Jon Stephenson
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/stephensonjon
Positive Influencing – pull the other one!
Adapt your approach according to the
situation and your relationship with
the person you’re trying to influence
STYLE
BEHAVIOUR
POSITIVE
IMPACT
NEGATIVE
IMPACT
Being collaborative and visionary by:
• Exploring options
• Demonstrating openness
• Practising active listening
• Painting a compelling picture
• Building upon common ground
When used correctly, it should:
• Achieve better outcomes (win-win)
• Have a longer-lasting effect
• Develop stronger relationships
When used inappropriately, it may:
• Take more time
The user may appear:
• Indecisive and lacking confidence
• Over-indulgent and ingratiating
Being directive and persuasive by:
• Giving views and opinions
• Expressing feelings
• Stating expectations
• Using incentives and pressures
When used inappropriately, it may:
• Be difficult to gain buy-in
• Damage the long-term relationship
The user may appear:
• Overpowering and impersonal
• Manipulative and coercive
When used correctly, it should:
• Achieve faster outcomes
• Create an immediate impact