This document introduces emotional intelligence (EQ) and its benefits. It discusses EQ frameworks and techniques for developing skills like self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These skills can lead to personal, academic, and business success by improving motivation, focus, collaboration, health, and reducing conflict. The document promotes developing EQ through behaviors like empathy, optimism, listening, and inclusion.
16. EQ Behaviors EQ is visible in behaviors: High EQ Bouncing back Listening Empathizing Risking Flexing Including Low EQ Blaming Resenting Attacking Stonewalling Judging Excluding
24. PPP vs TIE Optimist temporary isolated effort lacking Pessimist permanent pervasive personal Failure / Adversity Success / Fortune Optimist permanent pervasive personal Pessimist temporary isolated accidental
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29. EQ-In-Action What am I feeling? What options do I have? What’s my empathic and principled choice?
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31. Review: EQ Behaviors What will create more of these? And less of these? High EQ Bouncing back Listening Empathizing Risking Flexing Including Low EQ Blaming Resenting Attacking Stonewalling Judging Excluding
Objective: Participants will know what is being covered. Don’t read the slides unless you are in a room where people can not read them. Welcome the group, thank them for their interest in this incredible area.
Objective: Participants will feel a personal connection w. presenter. Say something about why you are doing this work, perhaps how you got involved with Six Seconds and EQ.
Objective: Participants will know they are learning something practical. Give one specific benefit of EQ for this group. “In addition to these other objectives, this work is going to be beneficial in your/our efforts to…”
Objective: Participants will feel engaged, take some responsibility for learning, and know you are modeling good instruction. This is not a “sit back and listen” presentation -- for the next 2 hours we’re going to be thinking, feeling, and doing EQ. Activity: If you want to use the “interactive joke” idea, now is when you pass out jokes. Humor decreases cortisol and stress, increases creative thinking, and boosts immune performance. 240 heart patients saw 30 min of humorous clips per day, disease was reduced, less likely to have heart attack in year following first attack (Lee Burk, 2001) U Maryland study, people w. heart disease 40% less likely to find humor than others. kids laugh 300xday, adults 15 (Elias book: Karen Bullock (UCSD), Robert Adler & Nicholas Cohen, Sandy Levy, Norman Cousins)
Objective: Participants will know EQ is a growing phenomenon In the last decades there have been tremendous advances in learning about how people learn, how they relate to one another, and how the brain works. Some science resources: Joseph LeDoux - The Emotional Brain (http://www.cns.nyu.edu/home/ledoux/) Candace Pert - Molecules of Emotion Debra Niehoff - Biology of Violence (http://www.eqtoday.com/niehoff.html)
Objective: Participants will know EQ is not all new. While there is a great deal of new research behind EQ, the core ideas are not new.
Objective: Participants will know EQ has personal benefit. The green circle means there is an activity to go with this page. Activity: Top Ten In small groups, or people sitting near, create a list of 10 of the skills and capacities that have made you successful. Option: Give different groups different assignments -- 10 of the skills and capacities that make successful… leaders, students, parents, teachers, administrators, innovators, change-makers, etc. Put the list up on a flip chart. Ask the audience to identify which might be primarily due to emotional intelligence. The vast majority will either be directly part of EQ or strongly influenced by EQ. Conclude by asking: What does this tell you about emotional intelligence?
Objective: Participants will know EQ has personal benefit. These 3 “case study” slides will be stronger if they are accompanied by a story -- perhaps a personal life or work example of how EQ has been of benefit to you, or in your organization.
Objective: Participants will know EQ has academic benefit.
Objective: Participants will know EQ has business benefit.
Objective: Participants will know EQ is researched as a intelligence There are many definitions of emotional intelligence. Jack Mayer Ph.D. and Peter Salovey Ph.D. are the premiere researchers on the subject. Together with David Caruso, they created the MSCEIT test.
Objective: Participants will know a simple definition of EQ, and identify that EQ integrates. The Six Seconds’ definition and model have a bias on practice -- teaching and learning. While Peter et al are looking for the internal capacities, we are looking more at what people DO. The premise is, “you are what you do, not what you say you do.” The triangle model shows how EQ integrates all 3 domains -- there is no thinking without feeling, there is no acting without thinking and feeling, there is no feeling without thinking. While in many ways thought is in the “driver’s seat,” it does not have primacy! In the EQ context, emotions, thoughts, and actions are part of a reinforcing feedback cycle.
We’ve found that these three pursuits help people to live and lead with emotional intelligence. Know Yourself is about increasing awareness. Choose Yourself is about being more intentional. Give Yourself is about connecting with your deep sense of purpose. Underneath these three areas are 8 specific competencies.
There are 8 specific competencies in the model - divided among the 3 areas. Note that this model is a circle - as you use these competencies you become better able to use the competencies in the other areas as well.
Objective: Participants will be able to see how EQ affects behavior. This is a selection of behaviors. You could ask for additions.
Objective: Participants will know the goal is synthesis, not “heart over head.” “Fusion is the active state of engagement that comes when heart and mind are in synch. It feels awake, powerful, compassionate, and courageous.” - Josh Freedman Remind the audience that this is an integrative model -- the goal is to put people back together, not to just shift the dominance from mind to heart.
Objective: Participants will recall the first part of the model. Know yourself is about self-awareness. Emotional literacy is the ABCs of EQ -- the basic building blocks. Just like “English literacy” prepares you to make meaning of and express through words and writing, emotional literacy prepares you to make meaning of emotions. The brain is wired for patterns. We find a response that sort of works, and repeat it over and over. The brain is simplistic about “works” -- if it feels good for a moment, or if it does not kill you, it works. So, we usually follow patterns that have very short-term benefit. If you want to use Biodots, this is a good time!
Objective: Participants know that emotions, learning, and attention are related While the “triune brain” model is not totally accurate, it is a useful metaphor. There is a part of the brain called the limbic ring, and there are several key regions tied to emotional function. The brain is like a swamp or a stew (not like a computer!) -- it is non-linear, confusing, and a bit random. The brain and body are awash in chemicals, the “molecules of emotion.” Many are generated in the limbic ring -- but also throughout the brain and body, especially around the heart and gut. These “neuropeptides” form something like a second nervous system.
Objective: Participants know concept of Hijacking. Joseph LeDoux developed this model and presented it in The Emotional Brain. Normally, signals go to the thalamus, then to the cortex for interpretation, then to the amygdala for action. In a state of threat -- perceived risk -- the thalamus bypasses the cortex and signals go right to the amygdala. Reaction occurs without intellectual thought. There is an intelligence at work, but it is not well trained in most people! More: http://www.eqtoday.com/hijack.html
Objective: Participants able to create a six second pause. The Six Seconds pause is a mechanism to shift to conscious thinking so we can return to fusion. More: http://www.eqtoday.com/pause.html Activity: Six Seconds Pause After explaining the idea of the pause, and perhaps telling a story, ask the audience to think of a time when they were hijacked. You could also ask for examples of “hot buttons.” Have them pair-share. Now, repeat that a pause button will engage high-order thinking like language, math, music, synthesis, analysis, or reasoning, and ask them to think of a pause button they could try. Pair share. Ask the audience to share, and write the list. Send the list to staff@6seconds.org for a book! Remind them that they can start practicing this now, it will work much better with practice! It is not just for anger, but any time they want to interrupt an emotional reaction or get out of a pattern.
Objective: Participants will recall the second part of the model. Signpost that you are moving on to the next part of the model. This is a good place for a discussion of how much do we choose. You can ask people to line up on a continuum from “no choice” to “total choice.” Ask them to pair-share how they came to that belief. Perhaps ask each end of the line to share out loud. It is challenging for people to accept that they have choice over their feelings. Especially for teenagers!
Objective: Participants able to assess core values; know “alignment;” begin to learn meaning of optimism Activity: Value Sort Cards Introduce the exercise by putting it in context -- we can not choose ourselves without having some internal compass for making choices! Either hand out value sort cards or blank index cards. A variation is to let people start by writing their own top 8 things they value (you value something if you put time and money toward it). Tell them they can define these cards however they like -- peace, for example, could mean “peace and quiet,” or “the end of war.” Ask them to sort the cards in order of importance -- from the one which is most important to them right now, to the least important. Over time, sometimes we have to make choices to give up things -- so take 3 cards out of your hand that you are going to give up. [pause] Life continues to go on, and now you have to give up 2 more. You should be left with 3. Pair share. Repeat, but this time turn cards face down and have neighbor randomly pull discards. When they turn over, ask them to pay attention to thoughts, feelings, and actions. Discuss choices, priorities, alignment, and optimism.
Objective: Participants know meaning of optimism and begin to practice reframing In the Value Sort Cards, many people practice reframing. They redefine the situation or the experience to make it more positive. Optimists reframe in three specific ways. You can share a story about how you experienced this, do the “live wires” exercise, or just present the data. More: Learned Optimism , Martin Seligman.
Objective: Participants will recall the third part of the model. Signpost again. Here is where Six Seconds’ model departs more widely from the MSC definition -- this focus on altruism is about being socially conscious. It is also about getting more satisfaction, pleasure, and power. By developing a noble goal, people are better able to tap into their EQ, stay in fusion, and take strong action.
Objective: Participants know the meaning of empathy and begin to value it more. A key to empathy is reading nonverbal communication and paying close attention to what someone is really feeling. You do not have to have had the same experience -- in fact you certainly have not had the same experience -- but you can find an experience that is somehow related.
Objective: Participants introduced to the idea of Noble Goals You probably do not have time to go in-depth on noble goals -- but you might explain that they are a tool to help align our actions and beliefs personally and professionally. A noble goal… - Will not be met in your lifetime - Will benefit you, but the purpose is to benefit others; the arrow points outward; no one is made less or wrong by you pursuing your noble goal - Will integrate the different areas of your life -- work, family, spirituality, community, health, etc. - Will get you out of bed when nothing else will.
Objective: Participants reflect on their own modeling If you want to teach EQ, practice EQ. We are changing the world, each of us starting with ourselves.
Objective: Participants see EQ as integrated Unlike many skill sets, when you begin to practice EQ, you will see an immediate benefit. The benefit seems to cross over between parts of our lives. So even if they are here to talk about EQ at work, for example, practicing at home will provide benefit at work.
Objective: Participants identify actions they could take to increase EQ Activity: Answer the question on the overhead. Brainstorm a list of actions that will create these behaviors -- or ways of practicing. This is a brainstorm -- not a commitment. “I could use the Six Second pause when my kids start fighting.” “Someone could take the first 5 min of every meeting just to listen.” “I could sit with someone new at lunch.” You could flip back to the previous slide to ensure ideas are coming from all areas.
Objective: Participants will make a simple commitment Activity: Postcard Commitment Pass out postcards (www.EQstore.com !!) Ask each person to make a commitment to at least one SMART objective for the next six weeks. Simple, measurable, actionable, reasonable, timely (see http://www.eqtoolbox.org/project/goal.php). Ask them to look at the list you just made, and also to remember the value sort activity -- maybe there was 1 card they wanted to make more present in their lives? Tell them to address the card to themselves, and that you will mail the card to them. You can ask them to write “no mail” if they do not want to be on your mailing list. You can also ask them to write 1 word on the lower-left corner about the effectiveness of your presentation (though generally the commitments themselves tell you all you need to know about your presentation!) Sometimes it helps to have people read their cards as they finish, as this will give others ideas.
Objective: Participants will leave ready for more. Thank them!