2. Index
Introduction Page 3
Mistake 1: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail Page 4
Mistake 2: Fail to Network, Plan to Fail Page 5
Mistake 3: Never Sound Like Your Competition Page 6
Mistake 4: Never Promote Your Services Page 7
Using Features and Benefits
Mistake 5: Never Underestimate Page 8
Your Networking Characters

3. Introduction
I’ve failed a lot and often. I’d been networking for the last 8 years before I discovered
these secrets to networking successfully. I’d actually gained many years of experience
repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The lessons I learned about
attracting attention, generating interest, social styles and instigating action formed the
basis of everything I did in networking.
I knew the old activities I was using were not working but my management kept
encouraging me to do the same things I’d always done and I was too blind to see the
harm I was doing myself.
Every month I struggled to pay the bills, the mortgage, the groceries, and every month
I kept myself upbeat and positive . But nothing improved. I moved from job to job to
job, and got through interviews because I was good at interviews.
The old adage “You got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince/Princess is
absolutely true. And business networking is just like a kissing frogs game. You got to
meet a lot of people before you find your handsome Princess/Princess - or, just as
importantly – you might find the person who you can give you tremendous amounts of
business.
I discovered a system of networking efficiently which transformed the way I network
and networking did not have to be a kissing frogs game.
My results speak for them self because I now receive between 5 and 20 referrals every
day !
My self esteem has gone through the roof and I have no fears when communicating
with strangers for the fist time.
I recognise that my self-concept determined how many people I would approach at
social and business networking events and how many events, I had the courage to visit.
I’m in control.
Now, that is a much happier place to be rather than being tossed about by the tides of
the market, the economy and my employers or customers. If you’re sick and tired of
being part of someone else’s plan for your future and your success, and you’re angry
enough to do something about it, read on.
To your Success
Claude Bonte
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4. Mistake 1: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail
The Problem
I pooh-poohed all attempts at setting goals. “They don’t work for me”, “I can’t be bothered”
and actually I was right. They didn’t work for me and I became despondent because the
goals I did set when I tried to set them were doomed to failure. Why? Because they
were results based goals not behavioural goals and they were often set for me not
with me or by me.
The Facts
You can only manage what you can control. I can’t control the people I meet at
networking event passing business to me but I can manage the behaviours that get
me to the networking event in the first place – the number of events I visit , the number
of people I approach and speak to, my method of following up, the number of face to
face meetings I have after the event etc.
Fail to have a plan of your own and you will always become part of someone else’s
plan.
Are you a leader or a follower, a participant or a spectator ?
A spectator is some one who will always be waiting at the touch line to see what action
the leaders takes. They might say things like “I’ll watch that one or I’ll wait and see what
happens then I might get involved in the business.”
A true leader doesn’t wait for someone else to make a decision before he makes a
commitment, he takes action immediately and usually gets results faster than someone
who is always waiting for things to happen.
So you may have to plan your week so that you can visit most of the key networking
events and functions in your area and make the right connections.
The Next Steps
The key here is to take action and do the behaviours. The law of averages tells us that if
we visit enough good quality functions and events we will meet good quality
business people to network with.
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5. Mistake 2: Fail to Network, Plan to Fail
The Problem
I’ve can’t say that I am always excited making polite conversation with people I don’t
know and have never met because I have no idea how they are going to respond. The
number 1 greatest fear is supposed to be walking into a room full of strangers, can you
believe that ?
We all hate doing these things but you don’t have to like them, you just have to do
them.
The good news is you can become better at doing these things.
The Facts
Fail to network and you are at the mercy of Lady Luck. Would you be comfortable
gambling your house, your marriage and your children on the hope that Luck will
provide and you’ll always have enough customers at the end of your current project or
sales to keep you afloat? Probably not! So why do so many of us do this? Feast to
famine to feast to famine. Over 80% of 2000 small business owners and salespeople I’ve
interviewed were lucky to be 35% productive in any given year. That means for 65% of
the year their time is taken up with navel gazing and waiting for the phone to ring.
You’re probably not that ineffective, but if you are, you’re not networking effectively or
often enough.
You probably take it for granted when you are referred business and probably thankful
because you haven’t had to go out and look for it.
But how do you know that the referral source you are perusing is the best one.
You could be putting lots of effort into your weakest referral source rather than your
strongest and you will only know this by keeping a log of exactly where they are coming
from when you get them.
The Next Steps
Do you know where your enquiries come from, Are you tracking them and keeping
a log ?
When you do make initial contact with a potential referral source, what are you going
to say to get them to refer business to you on a continuous basis?
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6. Mistake 3: Never Sound Like Your Competition
The Problem
Do you find that business owners glaze over when you are telling them how good your
products and services are and all the other great services your company can provide ?
Write down your “elevator pitch” i.e. your 1-minute introduction that tells your fellow
networkers/advocates why they should pass business to you . Now, imagine your
business had folded or you were fired from your job and you’d been hired by a close
competitor. Now write down their elevator pitch. Is it any different, really? “We help
companies like yours who want to improve <feature/benefit>, <feature/benefit>,
<feature/benefit>.” Blah, blah, blah!.
The Facts
Business people have heard it all before, probably a dozen times and you just become
another supplier who offers exactly the same service.
Never talk about yourself, your company or what you do. Always focus on your
customer, their problems and what they want.
Mine might sound something like this.
“<Name>, we help business owners and salespeople in small and medium sized service
businesses who are frustrated that their sales pipeline looks weak or empty and
they’re worried that if they don’t fix this soon, they’ll miss their targets and struggle to
pay their bills.
“Others are afraid that they can’t get in front of qualified buyers, they spend lots of time
networking only to be left with a pocketful of business cards or cold calling for
appointments only to be told, I’m sorry we already buy this service from another
source or the dreaded “Can you send me some information.” then they’ll get sucked
into a discussion about price prematurely and find themselves in a bidding war where
price is the central issue and they’ll struggle to compete at a profit.
“Typically, many are angry at the level of free consulting they give, finding that their
best ideas are stolen by buyers who try to solve their problems by themselves or give
their ideas to their competition …. and they get paid for your hard work.
“I don’t suppose these are problems you ever face in your business?”
Where is there a mention of my products or services? At what point do I talk about
myself, my company or my features and benefits?
The Next Steps
In simple terms, if you keep the conversation focused on the person you are talking to
he or she will be much more interested in you because you have become a more
interesting person just by actively listening to what the other person has to say.
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7. Mistake 4: Never Promote Your Services Using Features and Benefits
The Problem
If you speak to business people at networking events, using your standard features and
benefits you will get drowned out in the wall of noise that surrounds them, won’t you?
That’s never happened to you, has it ? Your message may be the most important
message they receive that day, that week, that month, that year or ever, but if you don’t
get the air time and they don’t sit up and pay attention, it’s a waste of your time and
effort isn’t it? They won’t be passing you their business and they certainly wouldn’t
recommend you to others.
The Facts
So the answer is speak to their pain. Even if when they woke up, the sky was blue and
the sun shining and they had no idea they needed your product or service, if you
speak to their pains, you will grab their attention and they will be happy that you made
the effort to engage them into a conversation . You must never be desperate to tell
your fellow business people how good your company is and what magnificent products
and services you offer because quite frankly they don’t care. All they care about is, “Will
it solve a problem they have ?” . You should leave them with questions NOT answers.
They should want to know more not have their questions answered or what’s the
purpose of them wanting to meet you again.
Focus on their pains and whose data are you using? Yours or theirs? Prospects never
argue with their own data but they’ll argue with yours until you’re blue in the face.
Make your “elevator pitch” using your features and benefits and you might hear “we
already have that covered”, “we’re happy with our current provider”, “not interested”,
“send me some information”, “the timing isn’t right”, “we have no budget for that at the
moment”, “call me back in 6 months” …. But that’s never happened to you, has it?
The Next Steps
When you visit your next networking event, don’t be shy, ask questions which shows you
are interested in others and as most people have an area of their personal or
business life they are unhappy about, you will be surprised what they tell you.
The point is you are speaking to them about a problem area of their life which they
care about and building trust and rapport at the same time because you are putting
the other person first.
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8. Mistake 5 Never Underestimate Your Networking Characters
The Problem
Have you ever been at a networking event, started speaking to someone and you find
out that the person has a completely different agenda to yours.
They may be shy and timid or very loud and you can’t get a word in edgeways, I don’t
suppose that’s ever happened to you, has it ?
If you underestimate these networking characters and don’t fully understand their
motives, it can make your future interaction with them very difficult.
The Facts
The most common 3 characters you will encounter are the widget seller, the white knuckle
cruncher and the wall flower.
a) Widget Seller
This person will stop at nothing to sell you some thing, “Want to buy my blue widgets,
Want to buy my blue widgets” is all you will hear. This character is also known as “the
networking pest” because he/she will hand out lots of business cards and take lots of
yours only to file them away and never follow up…
If you meet this character at a networking event, one way to deal with the situation is to
ask for a business card. In an instant this will break the pattern and give you a chance
to speak !
b) White Knuckle Cruncher
This person is quite timid and will usually be holding a wine glass, which will become
his/her best friend.
The White Knuckle Cruncher will be clasping this glass so tightly that his/her knuckles
will turn white because of the pressure on the glass.
If you move closer to the white knuckle cruncher and gently break into a conversation
you will find that he/ she gradually starts to open up.
You may even like to separate the white knuckle cruncher from the wine glass by
gently taking the glass away and asking if he/she would like another drink.
c) The Wall Flower
This character is quite shy and likes to hover around in the background close to the
wall. The wall flower doesn’t like attention and being around lots of people.
The best thing you can do, is to bring the wall flower into the forefront of the room
away from the wall.
As you shake hands and start talking, if you gently move into the centre of the room
the wallflower will naturally follow so that you can engage in a conversation.
The Next Steps
The next time you visit a networking event, please be mindful of the networking
characters and treat them accordingly. You will be surprised how the interaction
becomes more pleasurable when you know what is actually happening !
Please complete the “Networking Assessment Form” by visiting
http://www.spydaweb.net/kissingfrogs/assmt.xls and discover the challenges that
have been preventing you from getting more business through your networking
activities.
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