1. Through
the Eyes
of a Child
jeffrey robert lewis

2. O T I S P R E S S
COPYRIGHT © 2013

3. In memory of BA Rudolph,
who taught me the value (and fun) of laughing at myself
and Fred Rogers for allowing me to be
part of his neighborhood

4. Dedication
This book is dedicated to Teresa Heinz and Marge Petruska
for their incredible dedication and advocacy on behalf of
children in Pennsylvania and across America
Vance Hecimovich for his courage
Alisa Giannamore for reminding me every day
about the importance of caring
and Eve and the Summerettes

5. Why this book?
In a world where men are not accustomed to sharing their feelings
or exposing their souls, my goal has always been to open my heart
and demonstrate that not all men are shy, closed off or cowards.
It has had its risks, but the rewards far outweigh the danger.
Courage is not defined solely by the words we write, but rather
our willingness to share, discuss and dissect them.
In my lifetime, I have sought and continue to seek ways to
effectively communicate to those who touched my heart in
unimaginable ways.
Through the Eyes of a Child is a collection of poems based on
discussions with adults about their children, and sometimes with
children about their mothers or fathers. It is supplemented with
a piece from me to those who have parented me at one point or
another in my life, as well as to those who have no children of their
own but who have taken a community under their wing.
It is one man’s way of honoring their innermost thoughts, fears and
triumphs along with reminding them how their love has helped
shape the community around them. There are no secret meanings
buried in the stories told or the words used.
In each case, every poem opens the kimono a little wider. It exposes
the inner soul of an author willing to open up for friends, family,
colleagues and others to understand that one door slammed should
never be the end, rather, the beginning to another door opening.
Throughout our lives, each of us has found ourselves clinging
to words, truths, dreams and fairytales. We fight our fears, our
suspicions and our lonely hearts. In the end, the one thing that is
constant are the words and thoughts shared – those spoken and
those discussed and shared.
Those memories are seared in our hearts and become part of the
fabric of who we are – of who I am.
Jeffrey Robert Lewis
(jeffreyrobertlewis@gmail.com)

6. Through
the Eyes
of a Child
jeffrey robert lewis

7. Through Jack's Eyes
A giant walks into my room and his booming voice echoes
against all four walls
He slowly picks me up
Gives me a hug – the kind you remember and long for the rest
of your life
His hands are strong
While he gives me a morning kiss he slowly, methodically, begins
the sniff dance
We both know what this is really about – he wants to know –
“did I poop?”
But then I wait for the truly heavenly part: will he offer me
a back scratchie?
I grew up playing with my dad – I never grew tired of simply being
with him
We played the game of strength
He pretended to fall down when I pushed him
It was never about the game
For me, I just devoured my time with my dad r

8. My father is an extraordinary person, a very gentle individual where
love and life are intertwined and embody his spirit every day
He is defined by who he is – not who others want him to be
His strength is in his soul, his heart, every day
He learned that from his dad – and I am learning from him
every day
When he married my mom, love was truly redefined
When I am in mom’s arms and my father approaches, a quiet
begins to surround the room
It’s as if the world truly stops
And, it really does
My mom makes my dad’s heart melt
And when he looks at her – I know he is melting inside, too
My dad is not afraid
He embraces life, its challenges and its enormity
It is that unique, distinguishing part of a person’s soul that wraps
around you like a warm, comfortable blanket of love
I go to sleep every night knowing there is an angel in my life
He is my dad
I am learning from him that in life, sometimes love is not defined
by words,
But a look,
The warmth of a smile,
A simple touch,
Or a sniff

9. `Pappy D with Love, Chase and Max
Fathers and daughters have a very special bond
They go through life caring for their little girls with forever hugs
Smiles that sear your heart
And limitless love for their grandchildren
Pappy D just loved our mom
He never judged her, never questioned her decisions –
he just loved her
And mom just loves us in the same way
Our Pappy D was a real American
An artist with a welding torch
A dedicated man to his community and
A simply amazing grandfather r

10. His words constantly spoke kindness
“Now remember, you treat others as you want to be treated, but
they’re more than just words. Remember that.”
His acts always demonstrated a greater love of community
There was nothing selfish about him
Pappy D was the personification of old-fashioned honesty
The kind that politicians used to exude
When he spoke it was always from his heart
His community was part of his larger family
He gave because he wanted to – never out of obligation
A simple man with a smile that filled a room
A heart full of incredible patience and endless forgiveness
And his yes always told us a story of love
With Pappy D, it was not about the words he said; it was that very
special hug
The kind where you think he is squeezing everything out of you
Until you realized how much you ached for one more
Our mom is the personification of Pappy D
He instilled in her the qualities that made him so special – and her
so singularly special to us
Every day, we inhale every possible moment of our time with
Pappy D
And then exhale, and start again
Pappy D taught us that a life that gives to others goes on forever
And for us, our mom is forever

11. Standing in Line
My dad travels, endlessly
Every day it’s a new zip code – every night a different hotel bed
What sounded like fun, really seems like its own prison cell on wheels
We talk every day and sometimes video conference
I love technology, but I love my dad more
There are days my dad is simply a memory
My dad has a suitcase that travels with him everywhere
It’s tattered, worn, bruised. I worry someday my dad will be that suitcase
He arrives home with a smile
We read books together
For me the wheels on the bus never go round and round enough
And saying goodnight to the moon is never adequate r

12. He falls asleep reading to me
I kiss him and hug him like there is no tomorrow
Because I know tomorrow means another airplane, another hotel,
another phone call
Someday, I hope I can move up from the back of the line

13. To Mom with Love, Vance
I awaken every day to a smile that lights up my life and a voice
That sings in my heart
She has been my inspiration through moments of darkness,
My warmth when the dark side of a migraine invaded my
very being
She read me stories of a world I never thought possible; or a
freedom from fear I never thought I could attain
I live in a world where
Smoke is everywhere: thick, black and blinding
There are many days when I struggle
to find my way
Choking back the tears that sting my eyes
That sear my soul, forever r

14. I live in a world where
Darkness surrounds me and yet I am more determined than ever
to find the light
Exhausted, frustrated saddened at times, but always determined
I will not back down – I will never give up
My mom instilled in me the belief that I can; that I will beat my
disability
As early as the third grade I remember the thick smoke, the tireless
nights to understand, the desire to just be
The smoke made everything harder to navigate and nearly
impossible to find my way out
It surrounded me and sought to embrace my very being
It challenged my brain to work harder to see through it, and
sometimes it was so thick I thought it would never clear
Living with a learning disability is like fighting your way through
a fire
Every day is a battle
Every day is a fight against the smoke and its darkness in search of
the light
A learning disability never ends; it is ongoing throughout your life
And with my mom in my corner, I have the best anyone could ever
hope for
My mom will always be the wheels on my fire truck

15. Lionheart
He is a quiet, gentle person
A man who built a world around me to protect, educate and care
for me
His strength is never obvious
He is shy and never truly relaxed
This father silently struggles with the constant fear of flying
That fear envelopes his entire persona, but he never lets it stop his
family from enjoying the life he cannot
I saw the world because of him
Memories tucked away in my heart
His gentleness became my exhilarating energy
The bones of my thoughts often reflect the wisdom I gained from
the scraps of his words
He taught me to be an artist, to create beauty through words r

16. I recognize my own weaknesses
And look at life’s uncertainties without anxiety or apprehension
I am filled with endless determination
With the strength of every man’s quiet wisdom
He is a Lionheart
Untouched by fear of sharing
From opening his heart and exposing his own humanity
He walks alongside me every day
Nestled away as a reminder of who I am and why

17. The Unspoken Words of a Child:
To my Auntie Mindela
Every day I imagine waking up to your endless smile,
An incredible hug
As you breathe life into my bones and love into my heart
I know I will soar because you believe in me
You will never know how much you enriched my life
Memories that will last forever
I hold my breath hoping you are not a dream
And I blink and you’re still there
You became my escape without ever knowing it and today you still
protect me from the walls crashing around me
My childhood was filled with adventure
From understanding the importance of art, the proper way to
scramble an egg or hold a golf club r

18. You gave me the power to dream, to create, and ultimately, ascend
way beyond myself
Most important, you believed in me – and taught me the power of
one
You allowed me to be me
Never judging me – always encouraging
There has to be someone like you in every kid’s corner – you have
always been in mine
You gave from your heart and listened intently
I feel safe when you are near me
And, every day I worry, “Will you still be here tomorrow?”

19. To Lucy with Love, Ryan
My mother is a true treasure
A gift of love, understanding and human vulnerability
Words often don’t describe her incredible beauty – she has the soul
of an angel, the heart of a lion and her presence fills every void
She is inspirational
Encourages me and
Wraps me in endless love, a memory that will never end.
Lucy never judged me;
She pushed me with a gentle hand, guided me like an artist, and
talked to me as a tutor, teacher, friend and parent
Illness never deterred her
She used it to strengthen her resolve, teaching me the importance
of optimism and hope
To conquer fear by facing it – no matter how horrible
Her strength fueled my passion for life and love r

20. She taught me that words can nourish your soul
That prayer can embrace your very being
You must look at the world through the eyes of a mother
To truly understand life, love, patience and forgiveness
I grew up never wanting, never needing, never…anything
Lucy gave me something you cannot measure: unimaginable love
Endless, boundless – every day
While I owe her my success – I also owe her my life
She is the spirit inside me
Mom, I will love you forever

21. My Dad Through a Screen Shot,
Love Michael
I grew up in a world of fantasy, imagination and incredible love
My father is an artist with words
He taught us that we had the tools to build, create and imagine
The outdoors became more than a playground; it was a time when
my father was with us, I lived for that small part of the day – that
moment when we were together
And that fantasy world that we created together; our most involved
time together
Grant always engaged my imagination
We built a fantasy world together that was better than any video
game or television show
We played endless games from roughhousing to running outside to
creating with blocks and Legos
Even pillows became a means of constructing something larger
than life r

22. My father always encouraged me to taste the words of others
And he read to me so I could hear the words of great authors
These words could come to life listening to him explain how and
why
His words painted a picture I would always remember
The way he read, the words he used, the expressions on his face or
the inflections in his voice brought the story to life
The gruff way he read in Hagrid’s tongue: I would close my eyes
and see this giant of a man, with a head of hair more shocking than
Chaka Khan, and then feel the gentleness of his oversized hands, all
through my father’s voice
We’d sit on the couch with my sister; he’d calm us down and pick
up from where we’d left off the previous night
Those nights on that couch in my parents’ bedroom were the times
when he, my sister and I were closest and in greatest harmony with
each other
I remember walking with him into the woods behind our first
home and we find an old rope swing
It’s fall: the ground is an autumnal carpet crunching beneath our
feet as he tests the rope
It holds, so he swings me
To this day, I remember the sun leaking between the bare tree
branches.
This was the first time I really remember feeling alive
I grew up listening to the sound of my father creating music; he was
a virtuoso on a computer keyboard
At night, he would work in my room where I would listen to his
fingers tap, tap, tapping on the keyboard
The rain knocking on the window desperate to be noticed
Me, caught somewhere between conscious and unconscious, enjoy-
ing the sound of his fingers composing another great score in the
form of a speech
Me, simply enjoying having my dad with me
My dad is the man I want to be, and at the same time, I want to be
even more
He gave me that gift of always wanting more
He breathes life into me with a hug and I simply want more
His strength fueled my passion for life and love

23. In my lifetime, I have sought and continue to seek ways to effectively
communicate to those who touched my heart in unimaginable ways.
For me, I have never wanted life to stand still like a waltz frozen
in time. I hope these words unthaw a part of you.
Jeffrey Robert Lewis

24. 100% of the proceeds from this
book will be donated to the
Navy Seal Foundation
O T I S P R E S S