BURB is a magazine from the year 2020 that describes the life in the advanced urban setting that has emerged. Dense and intense, beautiful cityscapes have been created, but reading the articles and interviews it becomes clear cities as the result solely built on commercial forces lack many qualities. This issue looks back at the period 2010-2020 and celebrates the ten year anniversary of the 'Cunning City'. Slowly the stark reality below the surface of slick architecture and mind numbing commercialization become apparent. Neville Mars, Adrian Hornsby, DCF All projects on http://BURB.tv

1. WWW
# 2010-2020 LOOKING BACK AT
A GLORIOUS DECADE
# GREAT WALL MAKE-OVER
# PET OF THE FUTURE
# HAUNTED IN THE MEGAMALL
# FAT CAT CRUSHED
# ARE CELEBS WATCHING US?
# PLUS MUCH MORE INSIDE...
this week
10 Years
Cunning
City !

2. Beijing 2020: a this beijing CheCkmate Real-estate
is the CentRal business distRiCt of how we at like to
safe haven for your investment! soaRing
see it. like an eagle oveR the toweRs of ouR gReat Capital the shRewd business
in
sense of ouR veneRated CoRpoRation beComes most appaRent. the playing field of the
in CheCkmate Real-
expanding City we aRe the undisputed winneRs. the last five yeaRs
not
estate has built the tallest and toughest toweRs in town. one Company has Realized
with ouR effoRts we have seCuRed an unpReCedented stRonghold in
moRe, fasteR.
China `s aggRessive Real-estate maRket. fRom this position we obseRve the City as it
gRows. we seize eveRy oppoRtunity to build and we annihilate the medioCRe pRojeCts of
past and CuRRent CompetitoRs. join ouR team of winning investoRs now and view the City
as it Really is: a toweRing landsCape of poweR and potential.
Friendly affiliated with the Carlyle Group
DC.
CheCkmate Real-estate

3. cc, october 14, 2020 mayor he xin cheng (何新城 ) day and night. behold its arteries throbbing in the dark.
today for the first time We look back and take pride in our achievements.
opening statement at the cunning city’s (诡异之城 ) onlookers, local and foreign Were curious — critical sometimes.
10th anniversary celebrations policy makers have often tried to deprive us. but the cunning city Was
strong from its conception. it is not an instant city, but an urban
nucleus unfolding rapidly. its success formula is Widely imitated. the
cunning city has unleashed a social revolution. too many cities Were
merely throWn up by Well-connected businessmen and over-zealous
officials. their vitality perished With the first cracks in the paint. their
Welcome citizens! Welcome visitors! ten years ago this land under our
concrete shells, noW empty, lie scattered around the landscape. We have
feet Was farm land. ten years ago the sky Was gray With dust and soot,
invested together, avoiding opportunism and state squander. many of
and our hands blistered from spades and rusty shovels. today We are
you gathered here today left the fields or abandoned the factories and
here to look around us at What We have created. We have created a
construction sites to build your oWn home, your oWn city. noW We all
dream. a dream of glass and concrete, of parks and avenues, schools
benefit from the prosperity of the cunning city corporation.
and office toWers.
those days the World around us Was in turmoil, occupied by greed and
in this our beautiful city has excelled Where so many have
religious extremism. all We believed in Was progress! mass migration
failed. far from the glare of shanghai, the proWess of
Was our exodus. the neW city Was our promised land. our faith:
guangzhou, and the splendor of beijing, We
have blossomed. Without hesitation
progress, performance and prosperity
We have developed beyond a
mere production
With this belief, you, the citizens have designed a city in the likeness
of your oWn desires. you have packed
center
to become
a poWerful trade hub,
an educational center, a tourist
destination, a shopper’s paradise, a city of
the masses. today this city is a metropolis, and one of the most
the center
competitive on the globe.
to its full commercial potential,
to get here We have Walked neW and uncertain roads. We have built
and sculpted suburbs to fit effortlessly into your comfortable
With blind courage and persistence. We have abandoned the existing
consumer lifestyle. Who Wanted Walls or gates, When shopping
and relinquished tradition. We have denied the permanent and embraced
could be so seamless? Who Wanted to Wait, When you could
the dynamic, and evolved even beyond ourselves.
instead alWays be moving? today We can add tWo more ps – those
today this city is all cities. every morning it reveals itself in unseen
of perfection and play. What’s left for us is to enjoy the ride.
Ways. it’s like a forest — its roots digging deep in the hard soil, its
branches our dense roads and bridges, its canopy of green like our
terraced estates. today the cunning city no longer is a city. it is a
this presentation Was brought to you by omnigroup, your friendly affiliate!
World. a World Where We live, produce and consume. you Will all agree
When i say, this brave neW World We have built together: its structures so
extravagant they make other cities redundant; its artificial landscapes
so subtle they can rival mother nature herself.
Who can resist such glorious temptations When it nurtures us, serves
our desires, and our pleasures? the cunning city alWays knoWs What
We Want. it’s a friend With a mind of its oWn, and a body at Work for us
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4. bURB bURB

5. CONTENTS
burb agazine:
concept and artwork: neville mars POLITBURB
texts: adrian hornsby, neville mars
brain-melt-eurotrash 14
layout: neville mars, adrian hornsby
Still spilling off ships and into trouble
graphical contributions: xiong yi fei, jeffrey ludlow, vanessa lee,
alexis martin reyna, jeff gompertz yoko taketani, Wang zi
hot from the dragon’s mouth 18
contributing authors: louis coulomb, erich schienke, elena simons, Dark stuff afoot in the north west
jeremy mercer, beatrice ferrari, Wei Wei shannon
28
cunnning city facts figures
Catch the latest via r exclusive datastream
This page
team: neville mars, hou xiu, li xin lu
COOL NEW STUFF!
1
from ming to bling!
Check out ancient China 2020-style
30
Wanna haves!
R latest wish list
40
carving out neighborhoods
Blast of light for the Cunning City
IN THE HOME
22
the rise of the phoenix panda
Who said genebenders can’t be cute?
42
my home — my network
Find out how Apple never needs to go outside
TALK OF THE TOWN!
44
marriage 4 a moment
He’s blue — she’s pink …
48
fat cat trampled in cat crazed stampede!
Whoa, but how did that happen?
49
What a podd question!
Kooky celebs get their spy pods
2
ghost in the sponge
Strange things afoot in r favorite mall-chine
PERSONAL FOCUS
urban growth
A story of er-road-ed dreams and new high-deas!
0
Yoko Where Are You? / Unidentified Youth
Odd disappearances and haunting scenes
SPORTS AND LEISURE
shanghai shehui’s silver signing 24
The Puds net another big name
4
high art for the faint at heart
Fancy a spot of culture? Well just look around you!
SPECIAL FEATURES
the cunning city 2
10 years on and more alluring than ever
2
freeze
Dreamers get busy with Humans 2 Oceans
8 bURB bURB 9
ADVERTISEMENT

6. installation
10 bURB bURB 11

7. “THE DyNAMIC CITy IS THE
CHINESE DREAM!”
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8. POLITBURB
Brain-melt-
eurotrash
migrant migrane
this month another dilapidated number of europeans are arriving
european freighter, ironically in china through regular channels,
dubbed the MS Bright Future, ran and showing every indication that
aground coming into china — this they intend to stay.
time quite literally under the nose traditionally eu migration to
of pudong’s celebrated golden china has come from turkey and
mao. it’s hard to imagine what the the balkan areas, but a gathering
father of the ccp would have had wave is now observable from
to say, but it seems unlikely he regions further north. this is largely
would have felt much sympathy for attributable to the “melted brain”
the 28 illegal european immigrants syndrome, where burnt out creative
on board. as individuals they may sectors and bad loans have led
have been dirty, malnourished, and to economic instability and rising
sick, but as part of a growing trend, unemployment.
they represent further administrative but the migration is not all job-
headaches and international orientated. learning-migration
embarrassment. also has a significant role to play,
this is the last in a string of with a substantial growth in the
such incidents, including illicit number of students traveling to
migrant vessels caught docking china. figures from 2019 show a
near shenzhen, qingdao, and on 3% increase on the previous year,
chongming dao island, as well making europeans by far the largest
as european stowaways found in single group in the class of foreign
numerous freight containers up and students enrolled in institutions of
down the coast. no estimates have higher learning in china.
been released for how many may early indicators show that having
have slipped through the net. completed their studies europeans
the risks associated with eu-china do not return home. according to
people trafficking are considerable. the oecd, the return rate over the
the smugglers themselves are period 2008-2019 was only 14.1%.
notoriously brutal, and to avoid While this is all indicative of
suspicion, will devise complicated continuing chinese economic
and lengthy travel routes. it is strength, questions hang over the
suggested that illegal migrants are issue of urban integration. european
often subject to abuse en route, communities tend to be segregated
and held for many years in debt- within the city, and internal violence
bondage upon arrival. between different ethnic factions
this form of migration is however worries the psb, who increasingly
no more than a dark tributary to are being forced to view the influx
the much wider flow. An increasing as a threat to urban security.
14 bURB bURB 1

9. From minG
COOL NEW STUFF!
to BlinG!
great Wall gets a
2020 makeover
sick of pics of the drab old wall in you can’t doubt the man’s en- • an automated anti-vandal taser
decline? “no more!” says guo pu, thusiasm, and, with the whopping protection system
the construction magnate who has 800 billion rmb he’s bringing to the
taken on the task of bringing it up to project, his power to make things • speakers every 0m play-
date. happen. the proposals include: ing mood music and nature
‘i’m not just talking about a wall sounds
face-lift here,’ says mr guo. ‘i’m • replacement of damaged
talking about the whole thing: im- stones with neon-pink kevlar much of the original wall was
plants, bigger lips, smaller nose, bricks built during the ming dynasty in the
cheekbones, ass — the works! that 14th and 1th centuries. now at last
wall is old, but we’re going to make • full end-to-end coating of the it looks like ming’s gonna get his
it sizzle!’ wall with high gloss teflon bling on!
1 bURB bURB 1

10. POLITBURB
Hot!!!
from the Dragon’s
Mouth
distant soundings
fragmented reports have been cir-
culating this week that us military
forces made an incursion into xin-
jiang province in north western chi-
na. according to one source, this is cally integrated and highly efficient
part of a covert operation aimed at economic powerhouse, with a thriv-
‘backing muslim separatists in their ing internal market, and strong eco-
struggles against repression and in- nomic ties with populous brazil and
timidation at the hands of the chi- india. What’s more, until recently,
nese military.’ at an international china’s foreign reserves were bulg-
press conference Chinese officials ing with us dollars and treasury bills
vociferously denied any attack, even while china no longer de-
while at the same time condemning pended nearly as much on exports
the idea as ‘unlawful aggression.’ to grow.
the suggestion of humanitarian economists seem to agree on only
concerns was deemed a ‘human one thing these days: when the oil
rights smokescreen [being used] to price broke the mythical $300 a
influence developments in the great barrel in 201, the global economy
yugsar basin.’ the area has been suffered a deadly blow. since then,
thrust onto the international stage the lights have virtually gone out in
ever since deep nmr mapping re- africa, and much of south america
vealed a 400 billion barrel oil field is down to a flicker. The smaller, less
beneath its dusty plains. satellite resilient – mostly european – com-
images suggest russia has begun panies have either collapsed or
to mobilize troops on its kazakhstan been taken-over by larger ones, fur-
and mongolian borders, signalling ther consolidating global corporate
an intention to respond if the puta- structures. mergers and acquisitions
tive conflict threatens to spill-over have brought together the most
into its territory. unlikely of couples. last week saw
since global oil production peak- the hostile take-over of ballistika,
ed in 2013 the us has focussed all of russia’s largest military hardware
its military might on securing energy manufacturer, by the mammoth
supplies and maintaining transporta- Exxon-GE-Pfizer Group (EGPG).
tion routes. this has been the source most of ballistika’s dozen or so plants
of significant tension between the US are situated in north eastern china
and china. it now looks as though — plants which have for the last
ten years of economic tit-for-tat years been china’s foremost sup-
between these two countries may plier of advanced missile technol-
have finally come to a head. The ogy. but with the suggestion of us
zero-sum interdependencies of the troops trickling into xinjiang prov-
Wal-mart era are a quaint memory ince, some things may be about to
of a gentle early millennium. china change.
has shifted from being the us’s dis- as many commentators have
count overseas factory to a verti- pointed out, the most important
18 bURB bURB 19

11. CONT. FROM PAgE 18
developments in recent years all ther burned on site or transported to
seem to be hinged on whether or power plants around the country.
not adequate supplies of energy the amount of co2 released into
can be secured. there isn’t a ma- the atmosphere by china has dou-
jor multinational in the world that bled in the last five years. Perversely,
FeelinG
doesn’t have a stake in the oil and some might claim this is an indica-
gas supply chain, be it upstream tion of how well things are going. af-
oBserved?
or downstream; be it in shipment or ter all, the true scale of global warm-
commercialization. many alliances ing cotinues to be hotly debated.
have been built around political ob- the quintupling of freak hurricanes
jectives. one of these has been to since the beginning of the century is
squeeze china out. facing chronic suggestive, but climatologists from
widespread power outages and oil the hadley center predicted a wa-
price spikes, china has been forced terlogged benelux by 2020, and this
to step up coal production dramati- appears not to be the case. and so,
cally over the last few years. calls until it is, to some there is no global
by beijing to reopen at once hun- warming. this seems to be the mind-
dreds of derelict and ill-equipped set predominating in boardrooms,
coal mines grimly echoes the great and up and down the global strip
leap ventures that brought so much mall.
hardship and environmental degra- here in the cunning city, the man
dation. about one third of the coal on the street is little concerned with
is currently being converted to liq- the world’s conflicts and upheavals.
uid, synthetic fuel to make-up the he’s worked hard to be able to con-
two million barrels a day shortfall sume hard, and no border skirmish is
from conventional oil. the rest is ei- likely to upset that.
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12. IN THE HOME
The Rise
of the Phoenix Panda
This month saw the final goodbye ceeding years a number of bloated rent embryos date from this period,’
to the giant panda as scientists fi- panda corpses were found on vil- dr zhu notes. ‘that means our entire
nally admitted defeat, and agreed lage garbage heaps, where, rum- genetic stock is 1 bummed out
to scrap their stock of frozen pan- maging for sustenance, they had panda bears. We’re not even deal-
da embryos. attempts over the last confusedly ingested batteries, plas- ing with a full deck.’
few years to culture the embryos, tics, and various heavy metals. but while dr zhu and his team
either in artificial environments or in the meantime pandas in cap- were determined to drive down to
in the wombs of closely related tivity continued to feast on “panda the very bottom of this dead end al-
species, have led to one failure af- powerbars”. however, the concern ley, a splinter research group calling
ter another. there has been grow- for scientists was maintaining a suf- themselves pandas for tomorrow
ing criticism of what has become ficient genetic pool to ensure the (pft) decided to explore a different
known as the “panda pit”, and the overall health and diversity of the route. ‘We had always been inter-
oversized global “panda pocket” species. in 2008 an initiative was ested in the possibility of cloning,’ dr
when it comes to funding. brought in to map the genome of xu, spokesman for pft, has told us,
‘it’s not a technology issue,’ dr every remaining panda individual: ‘but the directors at Wolong were
zhu, head scientist at the Wolong at that time in all. too attached to some dated idea of
breeding center insists. ‘We have the task was completed in 2011, “natural generation.” the challenge
very advanced fake wombs, and but increasingly pandas born from was always to persuade very con-
with the right drugs you could this tiny base were showing reces- servative board members to allow
make a crocodile give birth to a sive traits, including brownish fur us to harvest their precious panda
A
panda bear. the wall we’ve come and distinct behavioral oddities. stem cells. that’s why the clonotron
up against is simply an exhausted fears around asperger’s syndrome was such a breakthrough.’
genetic stock. ultimately it’s the pandas seemed to be confirmed by panda stem cell harvesting was
quality of the embryos you have low levels of social behavior, and generally regarded as a threat to
to deal with, and frankly, they’re a reluctance to engage in mating. potential fetuses, and therefore re-
junk.’ centers exposed pandas to massive jected out of hand. but just as things
this argument is no revelation, quantities of video footage of repro- looked to be deadlocked, a paral-
but rather confirms what skeptics duction in the wild, but while this lel technology came to the rescue.
have been saying for years: that did provoke an outrage about pub- the clonotron, developed in south
when it comes to the giant panda, lic expenditure on “panda porn”, korea, allowed a new genetic map
we left it too late. as well as widespread sales of pi- to be imprinted or reprogrammed
!!
B
things started to look seriously rated dvds, the pandas themselves onto an existing stem cell cluster.
ed
bad for the world’s favorite bam- weren’t getting hot. and while panda stem cells weren’t
boo-binger back in 200. a mas- ‘It just didn’t seem to float their forthcoming, pft, in a bold move,
n
sive simultaneous efflorescence boat,’ dr zhu comments, remember- decided to pursue a “phoenix pan-
of arrow and umbrella bamboo in ing sadly that period. da hack”. using genetic information
m
the mountainous regions of both by 2014 the wild panda popula- from the 2011 census, dr xu came
da
sichuan and shaanxi provinces tion was officially zero, and center up with new “theoretical” pandas,
led to a wide-spread die-off of the workers were becoming increas- and then printed their genomes onto
an
two bamboo types most favored ingly pessimistic about the outlook stem cells garnered from american
by the panda bear. the already for the species in captivity. numbers raccoons. raccoons are closely re-
P
low wild panda population suf- had sunk to 1, and sexual activity lated to pandas, and with a little fine
fered high death rates. over suc- was at an all time low. ‘all of our cur- tuning, dr xu was able to design ge-
22 bURB bURB 23

13. SPORTS AND LEISURE
CONT. FROM PAgE 22
nomes that would take. backs of their vintage petrol-burn
the phoenix panda burst into the cars.
public sphere in 201, when it am- but the practically limitless sup-
bled down the catwalk of paris fash- ply of raccoon stem cells has been
ion Week for top designers prêt-à- bringing the availability and afford-
porter, and had that infamous bowel ability of the phoenix panda to the
movement. prêt’s dwindling global upper-middle classes. a cub now
popularity seemed to be confirmed retails at a cool 00,000 rmb, and
by the silent comment of this brand just about every chic district in the
new species, but while prêt was out, city has its peppering of owners.
the phoenix panda was very very analysts are expecting a sharp rise
in. in demand following the official ex-
naturally docile, readily adapt- tinction of the phoenix panda’s un-
able to domestic food, and at only lucky forebears.
one third the size of a giant panda, dr xu taps the ash off the end of
the faintly striped phoenix panda his exquisite cuban cigar. ‘sure i la-
quickly became the luxury pet to ment the death of the giant panda,’
have on the end of your diamond he says, ‘and this admission from
leash. stars were caught on cam- Wolong is something of a grave-
era with them, and city tycoons had stone. but nature moves on. and
them sitting conspicuously in the business is booming.’
ADVERTISEMENT
shanGhai
shehui’s
silver
siGninG
three million jerseys emblazoned
with the number 10 sold in the
first week alone. a guaranteed
full house for every game at the
newly-expanded honhkou stadium
months before the jia a season signing the most coveted prospect rudolfo was the target of a dozen
kicks off. the football demigods in history to the richest contract in top european sides, including
in madrid, manchester, and milan history. rudolfo, a fleet striker with real madrid who had offered a
weeping bitter tears of frustration. an assassin’s touch around the net, record transfer fee of 200 million
thus far, shanghai shehui’s 1.8 scored an aneurysm-inducing 4 euros to lure him to san bernabeu.
billion rmb gamble on the magical goals for corinthians last season, but shanghai’s director of player
touch of rudolfo is paying off. leading the brazilian club to victory operations, sun qi, flew to parque
the reigning chinese champions in both their domestic championship sao jorge to negotiate directly with
stunned the football world by and the copa america. the player and the club, and won
gO TO PAgE 61
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14. Rise Shine: the great awakening
like the gasses involved in the big lissome fabric was able to move
bang, huge clouds of people were and stir change, thus activating
compressed into the cunning city. the full commercial potential of its
superheated centripetal forces had own unique condition. its ability to
amassed an indefinable amalgam process consumer urges fedback
of energies, materials and individu- into urge-generation, with an in-
als. urban tissue swelled, but like evitable spiraling upwards.
those moments right before the national and ethnic identities
bang, everything was ingeniously unwound in the context of vec-
packed together. tors of such extreme magnitude.
vaulting the need for physical As people traversed the fluid
proximity, packets of light bolted up virtual and physical spaces of
and down optic fibers, drawing the the cunning city, they became
scattered fragments of the world’s chameleons — translucent bod-
aspirant metropoli into a unified cun- ies refracting the urban con-
ning web. global capitals merged text. constantly shifting charac-
and demand-threads co-aligned ter, the first conclusion was that
in the continuous presence of the each person had become many
strong urban force. global rivalries people. but in fact, the opposite
ceded the battleground to a unified was occurring. just as the cun-
structure for desire. the cunning city ning city had collapsed distance,
was only too capable — too swift and substituted choice for will,
and supple — when responding. its it was melding individualities …
gO TO PAgE 36
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15. 14 percent small settlements, 47 percent urban. Current population spread: 12 percent rural, 18 percent small settlements, 70 percent ur on october the 5th, the united
ations announced that global population had reached the 10 billion mark, just 8 years after passing 9 billion. population density now amounts to 19.6 inhabitants per
POLITBURB
square kilometer. Cunning CiTy - faCTs figures females burst into tears 29 times a year on average, beating males by 450 percent. population spread in 2000: 39
percent rural, 14 percent small settlements, 47 percent urban. Current population spread: 12 percent rural, 18 percent small settlements, 70 percent urban. urban area
totals 102014400 square kilometers. rural area totals 408057600 square kilometers. last year’s migration from rural to urban area x 1000: january 367, february 243,
march 156, april 156, may 278, june 293, july 368, august 271, september 255, october 199, november 133, december 250. inhabitants by age 0-12: 16 percent, 13-18: 20
ercent 19-45: 32 percent, 46-65: 9 percent 66-80: 13 percent 81-150: 10 percent. if all of this year’s valentine’s cards were attached in a chain, they would span
he earth 1.8 times. ‘To do’ lists contain an average of 14 items. within the built area of non-residential construction, shopping accounts for the majority- 33
percent- of the area, followed by 20 percent for living, 17 percent for offices, 10 percent for industry, and 9 percent for education, 6 percent for infrastructure
and 5 percent for recreation. last year, 350 children were reported to the police for glass breakage resulting from snowball games. median height of residential
construction in urban area is 45 floors. median depth of residential construction is 9 floors. Those living above the 60th floor engage in sexual intercourse 1.3 times
more frequently than those living below the 15th floor. Champagne consumption is 3.1 times higher. sewer capacity increased by 36% in the last twenty years. inhabitants
f the park regions are three times more likely to develop caries before the age of 17 in relation to the average citizen. females pay 5.4 visits to the bathroom,
ales go to the little room 3.4 times a day. migration from less developed Countries (ldC’s) to more developed Countries (mdC’s) amounts to 132.000 per month. in city
enters households occupy an average of 31 square meters, while suburban residency averages 45 square meters and rural households enjoy 61 square meters. suicide is
p by 5 percent in the last 5 years. demographic indicators suggest a trend towards shrinking families in dense urban areas, countered by a strong increase in household
embers for suburban areas. household size for rural areas is expected to remain steady at 4.3 members. single parent families: 44 percent, two- parent families: 39
ercent, other: 17 percent. families enjoy the following domestic dwellings: 23 percent apartments of which 34 percent owned and 66 percent rented, 17 percent lofts
f which 37 percent owned and 63 percent rented, 9 percent villas of which 73 percent owned and 27 percent rented, 12 percent farms of which 89 percent owned and 11
ercent rented, 3 percent bungalows of which 79 percent owned and 21 percent rented, 6 percent mobile units of which 96 percent owned and 4 percent rented, 13 percent
omeless shelters of which 0 percent owned and 85 percent rented, 17 percent on the streets of which 0 percent owned and 0 percent rented. per thousand inhabitants,
households keep 80 dogs, 154 cats, 39 hamsters, 390 goldfish, 21 parrots, 37 rabbits, 293 stick insects, 21 gerbils and 189 other. The world population travelled a
total of 64000 billion kilometers last year (6800 km per capita). Citizens in possession of a car are 2.1 times more likely to also own a monthly subway subscription.
Travel on foot takes an average of 14 minutes per trip, of which 6 minutes are spent in elevators, 4 minutes in semi-covered space, 3 minutes in open air and 1 minute
otherwise. Taxi rides are considered a ‘special treat’, an ‘emergency convenience’ or an ‘obsolete nuisance’. subway- station employees spend 12% of their working
hours cleaning discarded fee tickets from the ground. national trips by pals 41 percent, aeroplanes 23 percent, public transport 22 percent, cars 10 percent and human
ower 4 percent. international travel utilises aeroplanes 54 percent, pals 23 percent, public transport 19 percent, boats 2 percent and human power 2 percent. air
ravel increased by 67 percent in the last ten years. within this period 872 new destinations were opened to air traffic. 76 serious crashes (50 fatal victims) and
8 minor crashes (50 fatal victims) occurred. airline seat spacing has been increased on many commercial flights to accommodate for an increasingly obese populace.
allets contain 3 paper notes, 11 coins, 3 plastic cards and 17 gold tooth chippers. private corporations account for 96 percent of gdp. Tax rate dropped by 7 percent
n the past two years. Tax income dropped by 9 percent. governments filed 44 antitrust lawsuits against multinational corporations, of which 17 led to financial
ettlements and 27 were pronounced unfounded. The ten largest corporations employed 800 million workers resulting in a total profit of $ 7466 billion. if commercial
nterprises were combined with countries and ordered according to annual revenue or gross domestic product depending, China would be the first nation state to appear
n the list in position 28. international goods trade totals a yearly 15,3 billion megatons, of which 30 percent transported by road, 28 percent by train, 27 percent
by air and 15 percent by sea/river. last year 430550 patents were registered. ‘lessons from the little’ is becoming a major trend as adults discover how much essential
knowledge on computing children have to offer, and kids recognise a source of income. in the meanwhile toddlers have lost interest in last year‘s fad, the down
syndrobot. hours of sleep by age: 0-1: 15.3, 2-5: 10.0, 6-12: 9.6, 13-18: 7.0, 19-45: 6.5, 46-65: 5.7 66-80: 9.3 81-150: 9.6. starting 9th of february performance
artist alicia saunders will be showing her 4 meters of purple toe and fingernails after a successful aesthetic nano-treatment. average jobholders get 12 days of
vacation a year, which they prefer to spend ‘by the seaside with my family’ 28 percent, ‘at meditation camp’ 22 percent, ‘refurbishing my home’ 14 percent, ‘playing
pester the poor’ 7 percent, ‘looking for a new relationship’ 6 percent, ‘other’ 21 percent. long distances are crossed in an effort to enjoy these activities in exotic
places: 63 percent of respondents visit another continent, 22 percent go to another country and 15 percent stay home. sharp competition has driven many small hotels
out of business, but the major chains have more locations on offer than ever, especially by the coast. Civil wars rage in 38 backward nations where liberation movements
battle democratic government. shi’ites continue to dominate 78 sober, peaceful nations. in the 34 more developed Countries libertarianism and empowerment are reigning
deologies, though strains of sunnism and back to body movements can sometimes threaten the status quo. The united nations development program (undp) reported last
ear that the world’s 225 richest people now have a combined wealth of $3.4 trillion. That’s equal to the combined annual income of the world’s 4.5 billion poorest
eople. seventy countries were worse off than 15 years ago. at present, 6 billion people live on less than $2 per day while 1.3 billion get by on less than $1 per
ay. seventy percent of those living on less than $1 per day are women. with global population expanding by 120 million per year, world bank president marshall j.
ush cautions that, unless we address “the challenge of inclusion” 30 years hence we will have 7 billion people living on less than $2 per day. median width of
avements: 1.7 meters. since world war ii the public has come to see terrorism, not war, as most disturbing experience. after some minor left wing and palestine-
elated attacks in the seventies, the world was virtually free of terrorism for three decades. a modest hijacking incident in new york at the beginning of the millennium
parked a new surge of attacks. al Qaeda has since inspired sunni and atheist anti-civilization militia to carry out a plethora of terrorist acts, of which the
nnihilation of israel is most memorable. methods used successfully in the last decade: 54 common explosives, 19 hijackings, 13 biological weapons, 7 neurobombs, 3
irty bombs. all directed at major mdC cities or sites of tourism. The relatively new neurobombing is expected to occur with increasing intensity in the coming years
ith saudi arabian arms industry going steady. 23 percent of citizens sleep in multi-protection tents, 54 percent own and often carry protective garments, 31 percent
ive in the moment and 13 percent would purchase protection if only they could afford it. Thanks to sustainable manipulation, pigs yield 245 meat consumptions, up
rom 230 five years ago. bacon is 20 percent leaner. The median package of sausages contains 8 sausages. aroma lard is becoming increasingly popular as a sandwich
spread amongst the lower classes. Children prefer strawberry, banana, coconut flavours. adults prefer andouilette, aubergine and coconut flavours. worldwide energy
consumption: 31 percent petroleum, 28 percent renewables, 15 percent natural gas, 16 percent nuclear, 7 percent coal and 3 percent incineration. in the ldCs, 80 percent
28 bURB bURB 29
f illnesses are water-related. worldwide water withdrawals from water bodies have risen from 700 m3/person/year in 2000 to over 1300 m3 today. freshwater lakes,

16. COOL NEW STUFF!
Wanna ...
There was a time you could just PICK UP the phone when it rang.
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It's a revolution in watch and telecommunications design that allows
you actually to detach the horn when it rings and plug it in your ear.
Made possible with the bluetooth hands-free earpiece and speaker in
one!
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Tired of dragging that bottle of Scotch under your armpit?
STRAIGHT UP, the one shot Scotch in throw away container saves the day. Bite the
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Also available in a handy friends-pack.
Transformers watch out!
Those mad Martians bring us the latest
in home-away-from-home cinema. Convert
the back of your lorry into a small office,
an outdoor presentation center, a megas-
creen cinema and driving disco with the
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This stainless steel chesterfield couch swept us off
our feet. Built to hover above the ground over a built-
in bright pink neon light, you can enjoy CHESTER
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in and outdoors as the buttonholes ensure a stay-dry
seat!
5 Minute Mies
Thinking of turning that derelict
lot into an art studio and making
some handy cash while you’re at
it? This prefab ’n’ brick build-it-
yourself Miesian package does
just the trick!
30 bURB bURB 31

17. next issue:
Cities to
the moon
PFFW
EEEI
I!
# MOON METROPOLIS MUSHROOMS WITH A RINg OF
BRAND NEW SATELLITE STATIONS. EFFORTS TO CURB
MOONSPRAWL ARE INITIATED, BUT INHABITANTS
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# LUxURy HOTELS OPEN ON MOON METROPOLIS,
ONLy HOW ARE THE MOHITAS?
# MOON RELOCATION: FINE FOR SOME, BUT DOES IT
HELP US DOWN HERE? gET THE C.C. PERSPECTIvE.
A BURB.MOON ExCLUSIvE REvEALS ALL ...
32 bURB bURB 33

18. Paris 000, Koolhaas according to Mars:
“Urbanism is nothing more than the strategic
injection of inhabitants, directly followed by
the meticulous planning of a red light district
to ensure a twenty-four hour economy”
Great
Great Great
34 bURB bURB 3

19. britney’s house see p.49
CONT. FROM PAgE 26
Through the collective gratification of its citizens, the Cunning City has developed a mind of its own.
3 bURB bURB 3
lucid commercialism == fast fluid change
=

20. G?
★
★
ON
R
W
NE
GO
RE
PI
EM
★
38 bURB bURB 39

21. COOL NEW STUFF!
do you feel your street has become ple will be affected by the urban
too compact, your neighborhood renewal of the light for life project.
too full and you don’t see the sun concerns have been raised by
enough? do not despair. the city’s home-owner groups about possible
planners have not abandoned you. evictions related to the project.
a new solution engineered to revi- ‘the demolition of residential
talize the most dense districts of our space has been a serious concern
metropolis has been successfully during the design process. We want-
implemented in two overdeveloped ed to avoid forced evictions at all
quarters. cost and i personally can assure the
head of design of the light for life residents the current relocation is
project jun Wu explains: ‘the easi- only temporary. We have solved this
est way to understand the urban op- problem by creating a much more
eration we have developed is if you efficient layout of the apartments
think of it removing the core from an around the atriums and a slightly
apple. With this procedure we liter- smaller surface area per dwelling.
ally carve out neighborhoods from in return you can enjoy the luxury
the urban tissue and return day- of a glass elevator that takes you
light. at all strategic crossings vast right from the underground parking
atriums will be cut from the existing through the atrium straight to your
building-mass to allow a stream of apartment or even to the rooftop.
sun to penetrate the inner parts of these two minutes should be a daz-
our city. light will trickle down and zling experience. from the top of the
be dispersed by multi-faceted glass atrium the daunting scale and bus-
domes covering the shafts. finally tling activity of our city can be fully
the intricate inner spaces of our appreciated. you will see crowds
city will be experienced in their full of people plummet down in the el-
splendor. the smooth tube-shaped evators around you and soar by
walls we have created will take on escalators crisscrossing through
over the role of the exterior facade. space. it is my belief that in this pre-
With the buildings turned inside out, dominantly interior world we live in,
it will be the job of the voids to con- some bestowal of authentic daylight
vey the feel of the different areas in will be the strategic supplement we
which they are nestled. inside, for need to ensure a bright future for our
those in possession of the valid pass city.’
of course, easy access to the neigh- how will these tubes be carved
borhood is granted, and a system out and where will the debris go? an
of closed-circuit cameras ensures inside perspective on the technical
safety.’ challenges of the light for life project
the homes of nearly 3 million peo- continues in our next issue.
40 bURB bURB 41

22. IN THE HOME
‘Hi! I’m Apple. I
moved into the my-home-my-net-
work development last Spring when my vil-
lage got swallowed. At first I thought, “Oh no! Re-
form housing — NO WAy!!”, but I couldn’t have missed
the mark by more! Here you can really feel the aura of
continuous improvement our City is achieving — and on
APPLE IS ANOTHER HAPPy NEWCOMER
every level of scale! My apartment may be small, but
TO THE CUNNINg CITy!
links directly with the grocery store, the mall, the cin-
ema … Just about everywhere I ever want to go
feels like a part of my bedroom! I’m re-
ally living in the network!’
mY home - mY netWorK
42 bURB bURB 43

23. TALK OF THE TOWN!
Romance
maRRIaGe 4 a mOmenT
v.d.u. prometheus meets lolita
in heels at the …
okay so you’re a total screenie,
but you’re always stuck in front
of the Wrong screen. you’re al-
ways either pushing data or stuff-
ing files or bent over stats about
other people. they’re out there
spending money and having a
good time, while you’re pinned
in an office like an OX under a
yoke, or a bear in a trap, or may-
be like the thing you resemble
most, which is a shrimp in front
of a computer screen!!!!! and
every week your boss comes in
and piles on more pressure and
tightens deadlines, which means
you Work later and eat more.
What’s left of your day in terms
of time for yourself is a smoke
beneath a glass skyscraper as
you shuffle back to catch the D-
rail home. and maybe, you think
to yourself, maybe, i’ll catch a
few zzzs on the train, somewhere
in between spongemall and the
omnicom monument. you’ll
need them, coz you’re not going
to bed — oh no — you’re not
even going home …
okay so you’re young, you’re
cute, you’re out of school but
sometimes you still wear the uni-
form just coz it makes you feel
dirty. you don’t Work coz it’s
boring and you don’t Work
out coz you’re still skinny as a
kid and twice as bad. and any-
way you don’t eat anything you
just drink clear cocktails and
suck the sugar off of the rim of
the glass. okay, so sometimes
you eat something — like a re-
fried pancake with soy sauce
and honey and a pair of pig’s
44 bURB bURB 4

24. GIRLS:
CONT. FROM PAgE 44
ears on top — yuh-hu-humm!!!! on the personalized turkish soap
or maybe, you think to yourself, operas they’re churning out about
maybe, some rich guy is gonna you — about your romance in the
take me out tonight to some fan- CALDERA with a fictional HOTELIER. It
cy restaurant and buy me a follows you everyWhere. it’s playing
bear paW, coz i’m that sexy … on the mirror in the hairdresser’s,
and on the advertiscreens in the
okay, so you’re not even gonna shops you go in. it comes with you
get any sleep on the d-rail, coz as you ride the d-rail and wander
the screen is in there too, and in the park, passing from screen
you can’t not check the stock, to screen to screen as you walk.
and what about that vmail you you collect obsessively to have
were waiting on? and while you’re the same things as her — as you.
here you might as well take a look you haven’t seen your oWn face
at what there’re playing on u-tv for months; only the dim reflec-
(damn cindy is looking hot! hot! tion of it behind the image you are
hot! these days). you know you watching. you’ve been taken over.
can’t just be doing one thing at you’ve become an expression of
one time — it has to be multiple datastreams. in this city, you have
things all the time. if every cell in nothing you have to do and yet
your body isn’t feeling squeezed your life is so precious. you’re
then you’re not maximizing, and floating. you’re like a fragrant
if you’re not doing that …. so you dream. the only thing that remem-
figure, OKOKOKOK, I’ll let ONE bers where you’ve been is the trail
side of my brain go to sleep while of commerce — the omnicom
i keep up with the screen with slips which somebody else is pick-
the other. then after 2 minutes i’ll ing up …
sWap over and rest the other side
for 2 minutes and work with the … okay so the 2 of you find each
and then i’ll sWap back … and so other because you are both lost.
on like that until i get home maybe you are stray particles in the city,
3% refreshed! the truth is you’re but there is an urban gravity
one of those guys who’s always which sucks you together. it hap-
half slumped and half frenetic pens in the skyWalks or somewhere
— scrabbling for something in along the continuous commer-
the middle of a half empty car, cial corridor. maybe in the ice-
with a bit of old magazine blow- cream parlor, where screen-
ing about your shoe. and that’s facades have turned the building
when you feel it: that stress to inside-out. you see each other,
confess — maybe it’s someone and the confluence of unmet de-
you’re looking for — somebody sires turns into moment in space,
— only you don’t know Where to and an act of consumption. the
go. you’re always in the right environment has mediated lack
place but at the Wrong time, or by supplying touch. one of you
in the Wrong place at the … needs the kiss of air and free-
dom. the other needs a presence
okay, so you’re sexy, but you in the real World. it is an oppor-
know you’re a total screenie too. tunity to buy things together, and
you go to the restaurant, but maybe rent a room. it is a mar-
only if they’ve got u-tv on the riage 4 a moment — a fleeting
tabletop. you go to the sponge- thing, as total as it is ephemeral.
mall, but you spend the whole for an hour, or even perhaps a lit-
day driving softpods through tle less, neither of you are looking at
postreality, or sunbathing under screens, or even conscious of them.
a 3.8 yottapixel sun. you up- you can go back noW. back to
loaded your V-LIFE profile into U- Work — to play. game over. in-
World, and now you’re hooked sert coin.
4 bURB bURB 4

25. TALK OF THE TOWN!
DD
PO !
T ATION
Fat Cat tramPled
HA ES
WU
in Cash-CraZed stamPede!
Q
‘i just don’t know why it had to happen to cindy,’ sobs lu qian. We are stand-
ing in the cbd, right in the very spot where less than a week ago lu qian’s pre-
cious pet met her fate. it was in this foreboding beijing canyon, between sheet walls c.c.ers have been wondering for
of reflective glass, that Cindy — a ginger tabby weighing in at a massive 15lbs — was months what the deal can
trampled to death. be with the crop of odd
‘i’d been telling her she had to lose some of that catty fat, and we really had to get out pods turning up on
more,’ qian tells me. ‘now i only wish we’d stayed at home.’ the tops of our sky-
Since its official inception back in 2016, arguments around “equality day” have been rag- scrapers. a burb
ing. there are those who say it’s an admirable form of charity, and why shouldn’t the givers exclusive reveals
have a little fun? others insist that “fat cat” executives tossing great wads of rmb from the ex- that these these
clusive heights of their skyscrapers is just another sick expression of the wealth gap. are being used
it all started with two ceos bragging in a skywalk about how their bonuses had gotten so big as luxury look-
they could throw half out the window and not even notice. after a dash of daring, and with out posts by FULL PICTURE PAgE 36
a lick of that competitive spirit, the pair were stuffing all the dosh they could find through an ex-celebs, who
air vent to the outside world. What neither of them had expected was how elated this would sit watching the swell to hell,’ sin ment, but sources have led us to
make them feel. Word got out among the board rooms, and pretty soon top floors millions that once remarks. ‘they’ll believe that her pod is sitauted atop
across the cbd were crammed with businessmen with serious cash. gazed up at them. hang out at tourist the omnigroup tower in downtown
The notes were fluttering down. Reactions in the streets below hot spots just to get c.c.
were wild. into other people’s the pods themselves are relative-
CREEPY
regulations ensued, with the product we all know today holiday snaps. some ly cheap and flexible, and, with the
as “equality day” — an annual moment of madness in the will even expose themselves right connections, you can set one
city, when rich executives throw money out the window, fame, money, and glamour cer- to cctv cameras in the hope that up just about anywhere. it seems
and flash crowds follow the wind to push and grab tainly do bring happiness, but can there’s a security guard somewhere that spears, along with a host of oth-
at whatever they can get. the terrible tragedy for also be a dangerously addictive watching.’ ers, is cashing in old favors in ex-
HAVE
lu qian and her cat cindy is that when the wind mix. once hooked, stars let their change for a top spot to drop a pod,
YOU
EXPERIENCED changed suddenly, their innocent walk cravings race out of control, and and sit and city watch.
SOMETHING PUZZLED
was overrun by a cash-crazed cold turkey leaves them looking no-one knows how far this trend
STRANGE? TELL US stampede. creepy and acting weird. will run, nor how many more pods
ABOUT IT AND MAKE A
‘i managed to ‘it’s just like any other lethal emo- but this new pod development are likely to appear in the near fu-
QUICK 10,000 RMB!
jump ti-drug cocktail,’ says burb celeb marks a buck in the trend. former ture. but hu sin is certain of one
Send us your real life story – if expert hu sin. ‘you see the same attention seekers seem to be turn- thing: ‘as the cunning city raises up
we print it, we’ll send you up patterns with people who load up ing a telescope of their own back and spits out celebs faster and faster
to 10,000 RMB! Don’t forget the on sexcess, compulsive partying, or on the world, and this has sent both year on year, the pool of potential
gory details, and any pictures
massive noshnanza food binges. it’s experts and relatives spinning. city watchers out there is going to
you might have snapped!
all “hello handsome” while you can ‘i don’t know what she does up keep on growing. the kinds of favors
Contact us through www.
bURB.tv wit h your keep up supply, and “so long san- there all day,’ says lynn spears, you’ll need to have in hand for a re-
name, age, address ity” as soon as it starts to dry up.’ mother of former teen idol britney. ally good pod location are going to
and mobile ‘some of these celebs have be- ‘she used to be so outgoing. now get bigger, and more extreme. What
number!
come so dependent on media at- she tells me she’s surveying the city sorts of things? Well that’s a matter
tention that when they feel the lime- — well what does that mean?’ brit- for the starlets, and the guys with re-
light fading, their whole lives go from ney spears, 38, declined to com- ally big towers.’
48 bURB bURB 49

26. CONT. FROM PAgE 48
back and squeeze behind here,’
qian explains, as she shows me a
marble pillar at the foot of the jing
hu bank tower. ‘but cindy wasn’t so
fast — how could she be?’ at over
twice her recommended weight,
and living off a diet of king prawns
and kfc, it’s hardly surprising cindy
didn’t make it. but who could have
anticipated the bitter irony: that the
generosity of her fat cat compatriots
up in the office towers would have
brought about her untimely death?
‘those people were scary,’ qian
tells me, as she describes the crowd
she watched rush past that day. ‘i
saw hunger in their eyes.’
0 bURB bURB 1

27. TALK OF THE TOWN!
GHOST IN THE SPONGE pneumatic skin
ever since our story last month about What’s more, because the mall is a
how clairvoyant minnie see felt a co-op, owned collectively by repre-
presence in the new spongemall, sentatives from the hundreds
our inbox has been literally bursting of different stores
with your responses. thousands of within, there’s
BURB readers have visited the mall no sense you
with their spook-sensors pricked up, are intruding
and come back to us with sightings on a corporate
and strange tales. Who the ghost is sphere. ‘this is
or quite what they want is yet to be- very important,’
come clear, but one thing’s for cer- minnie tells us,
tain: it loves retail! ‘because ghosts
‘the spongemall’s a great place don’t like places
to hang out,’ explains minnie, ‘and where they feel
so we shouldn’t be so surprised if they have no
someone from the spirit world thinks right to be.’
so too.’ but whether it’s the thou- a number of
sands of great bargains, the fantas- readers have
tic range of food, or the just the lively felt the soft tran-
atmosphere that draws the ghost sitions of the
cinema-escalator
there is anyone’s guess. spongemall may
have something
to do with it. ‘it’s
SPOOKY
funny, you know,’
laughs Wang
‘spirits have divested themselves mi, 19, a stu-
of their earthly shell, and so they ac- dent who likes to
tually can’t eat normal food. i don’t spend lunchtimes in
think this presence has anything to the spongemall. ‘When you
do with yumsy noodletopia,’ minnie go there you don’t really feel like
insists. ‘it’s about something deeper, you’re going into anything, and then
which perhaps we can’t even per- before you know it you’re in the mid-
ceive.’ dle. one time — i was wearing this
but we spoke to lin kao, 44, of cute little tartan skirt — i was deep
yumsy noodletopia, who couldn’t in when i felt a wind on the backs
disagree more. ‘personally i’m not of my knees. i knew immediately
all that superstitious,’ says kao, ‘but the presence had come in with me, subway
i know our noodles are superlicious. probably accidentally, and had only
i don’t see why the ghost wouldn’t just realized it himself! then i turned
make noodletopia his top spot in the round and there was this old man
spongemall. after all, he’s still got a blowing bubbles at me. the whole
nose — i mean ghosts can still smell, thing was incredibly exciting.’
right? smell that! mm mm mhmm!’
one thing the sponge-specter BRAZILIANS
may appreciate about his favorite
haunt is how easily you can glide transparent deck
in and out of the space, and with all but not everyone has such a great
the glass atria, it’s always full of light. experience. career girls Wen Wa, 24,
2 bURB bURB 3

28. CONT. FROM PAgE 52
and fun li, 22, were traveling up haier shampoo.’ Well i wasn’t going
double level
to the wax clinic on level 4 to get to mess around with a poltergeist or
brazilians when they encountered whatever this thing is, so i did what
the phantom. ‘We were on the es- he said right there and then. thank
calator,’ Wa starts to explain. ‘it’s god he’s left me alone ever since.
a double helix so you spin round that trip was scary.’
as you go up and there’s always
plenty to look at. but then some- MACABRE
where around two and a half there
was this awful eggy-cabbagey
smell.’ li goes on: ‘We were stuck of course, the man who has seen
behind these two businessmen so the most macabre mall moments of
we couldn’t start walking to get up all is zhi yu, the chief security guard.
out of it any quicker. the men were ‘i don’t think there’s a single part of
both really fat, and i think they’d this mall that that ghost hasn’t been,’
public square
just been drinking at some busi- yu informs us. ‘and i’ve been watch-
ness lunch or other. they seemed ing. he’s on all the levels, in the light
a bit wobbly. We just had to stand as it comes through the spongy
there and watch their backs, and panels, and he skulks around the
wait for the smell to go away.’ hotel Without operator — peeping
‘it was a bit gross at the time, but through keyholes i’ll bet!’ the retail
i’m glad at least to have met the program of the spongemall is in-
ghost,’ Wa reflects. terspersed with hotel floors, offering
the mischief doesn’t stop there. people rooms for as short or long a
people have not only felt and period as they like (you just swipe
smelt the wraith, but some have a smartcard at the door). It’s filled
heard it too. sun hong, 32, was sit- with tourists, exhausted shoppers,
ting minding his own business on schoolgirls doing a spot of home-
the public square on top of the work between class and volleyball
spongemall when he had a ff-ff- practice, sneaky couples stealing a
fvairy strange encounter. moment, and people just taking a
art gallery
conference center
break. but there’s creepy company
in there too these days it seems. a
HUGE! escalator atrium
window shopping
number of guests have described
incidents of mysteriously losing
‘i was just sitting on a bench,’ small items, hearing ‘sounds’, see-
hong says. ‘it was all pretty nor- ing ‘things’, and experiencing odd
mal. there were some oldsters or even ‘out of this world’ sensations
playing mah-jong, and a few while staying there.
kids rollerskating. perched on a ‘there was even a crazy incident
under deck
wall were these two girls with big in the cinema-elevator, on the other
knockers 4 and i mean huge!
— side of the building,’ zhi yu shares with
— andHaier, a were wearing these
they us. ‘this guy spent almost a whole day
Great
successful mainland
haier + haier t-shirts. you know just riding up and down, watching a
brand, lends pieces of its own logo
western brands entering the
sian Market. the logo? so they had that, with trailer for the new shell motorola
Its logo is portioned
t to brands needing the hair, ice
eam or underwear. two little mop-tops right over
the Opening up movie. it was like he was a man pos-
e way for Global brands to
align themselves withnipples. i was just staring at
their an sessed.’ the movie is about a group
already iconic
them. and then there was this like of polar bears, who use cell phones
image. Great
deep voice in my head saying, to call each other and say goodbye helix of escalators internal passages
4
‘go downstairs and buy a bottle of before their ice floes melt.
Haier, a
Great
successful mainland
and, lends pieces of its own logo
estern brands entering the
Market. Its logo is portioned
o brands needing the hair, ice
or underwear. Opening up
ay for Global brands to
gn themselves with an
already iconic ADVERTISEMENT
image. Great
4 bURB bURB

29. of r!
n
io ecte
ess l sp
pr al
m
s i gem
st’ n
rti Spo
A
e
th
bURB bURB

30. route 1 spotted route 2 presence felt route 3 peeping tom
8 bURB bURB 9

31. PERSONAL FOCUS
CONT. FROM PAgE 24
UNIDENTIfIED YOUTH
the bidding by tripling madrid’s
offer.
‘our goal is to become the best
club in the world,’ sun said at
rudolfo’s introduction ceremony. In the north-eastern waterway ted a ritualized group sui-
‘This is simply the first step.’ of the Tai Yang gong district cide were high-ranking fol-
last season, shanghai proved of our City the body of a young lowers of the Urban Demons.
the strength of the chinese football woman has been found. The body This religious sect was be-
league by advancing to the finals of emerged early Saturday morn- lieved to have been disman-
the fifa club World championship, ing, floating downstream from tled after the arrest of
thrashing european stalwarts the sewage system towards the their leader Eric E. (better
bayern munich and chelsea along Haidian student compounds. known as “The Architect”).
the way. With shanghai’s signing The woman, estimated to be 23 The steadily decreasing speed
of rudolfo, as well as recent high years old and of korean de- of the expansion of our City
profile acquisitions such as mark scent, is assumed to have com- is speculated to be a cause
van broken by hyundai beijing and mitted suicide. Autopsy on for so-called Urban Demons
omario hernandez by shenzen the body has revealed a high to take up their practices.
jianlibao, some experts are concentration of the drug DBD followers of “The Architect”
predicting this to be the beginning (a hallucinogenic found in believe the continuous suc-
of an era of chinese football mind-mints). The drug howev- cess, particularly urban ex-
dominance. er is not likely to be the pansion, of our City is the
‘it’s true that chinese clubs may primary cause of the woman’s result of their periodic
not have the tradition of great death. Casualties of the ge- sacrifice of young women.
european clubs like juventus or netically engineered drug are Police have declined to
olympique de marseille,’ said highly uncommon. This shrouds comment, but the theory is
cctv football commentator xie the death of the woman, who substantiated by a tattoo
donghug. ‘but at the moment, the remains unidentified, in mys- found on the body. The image
chinese clubs have the wealth and tery. found facing upward in on the left ankle depicts the
willingness to pay the top salaries. a pristine white dress, of- letters J and E intertwined,
in this sport that’s what will make ficials described the scene as surrounded by a red heart.
the difference.’ ’bizarre’. The CC metropolitan police
Questions have been raised have issued a statement urg-
about a possible link to the ing anyone with information
Spring Suicides of 2017. The regarding the identity of
seven young girls who commit- the woman to come forward.
CC MET POLICE CONfIRMED
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32. H2O armament
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33. SPORTS AND LEISURE
High Art for the Faint at Heart from our city it displays. the main and tourists alike. on a travela- able urban experience. a strong
volume seems carefully draped like tor one glides through the smooth tingling sense of a long lost urban
a giant handkerchief or glove, hov- glass tube that will take you from reality took hold of this reporter
ering amidst the patchwork of our our city’s cultural center right down entering the last stretch of the ride.
art is on the rise. this weekend the than a large modern museum; most fers its audience a provocative, effi- infrastructural masterpieces, hous- to its historic ruins. surrounded and it invigorates the art on display
mayor of the cunning city will take prominently it features the greatest cient and intensely dynamic experi- ing estates and brain parks. protected by a safe and controlled with a layer of social sensibility not
center stage at the grand opening cultural achievement of this century: ence of mega-art with our city as its the innovative architecture of the environment the tour incorporates seen since art was still made by
ceremony of the largest museum to the cunning city. this makes for an natural urban backdrop. 3 kilometer long tubular structure disregarded districts and will bring artists. Moreover it confirms even
date: the modern art center for bril- unprecedented urban experience. it is a fact tourists have always waves through the most diverse you face-to-face with the generally the darkest corners of our city
liant urban experiences or macbux. as a result of the impressive scale been drawn to the most precious, areas our city has to offer. the di- forgotten population of substance can and should be perceived as
the opening will take the mayor of contemporary art-installations and white and minimalist environments lapidated and chaotic areas, such abusers and prostitutes in the de- breathtakingly beautiful.
and her entourage on an audio tour sculptures (on average works have in town: museums. here their long as the upcoming chinatowns, can serted back streets and alleys. this
Open Tuesday to Sunday. Tickets available at all
across 9 different urban districts at a quadrupled in size over the last two journey is rewarded with the global be observed up close by citizens makes the macbux a truly remark- D-rail entry points or online at www.macbux.gov.cn
comfortable 12 miles an hour. along decades) art more and more oper- culture of internationally renowned
the entire two hour ride the museum ates solely at the level of our city. artists contained by a structure of in-
will feature a rich mix of contempo- the increasingly dense networks of ternationally renowned architecture.
rary art producers from all corners our city have been effectively spun the radically abstract shape of the
of the globe. but macbux is more together by a single building that of- macbux perfectly distances itself
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34. PERSONAL FOCUS
urBan GroW th
“I simply couldn’t believe what had happened. I
thought my life was about to come full circle and
my dreams would at last come true. But instead
this was turning into the worst day of my life …”
yin jun — better know as the King of Feet — is turning the gray spaghetti
roads around the cunning city into fields of hope. his story, one of
remarkable dedication and love for both his city and his family, started at
a very early age. READ ON OvERLEAF FOR FULL STORy!
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35. DESIRE
grew up in the village. to me still there was something holding by the time he was he had read he loved to watch for spring blossom with desire. one evening i stood
the cunning city was always me back. it was like a voice in my more books than me, and spoke on the apple trees, and divine for on the veranda of our little house
the jewel on the horizon — a boyhood head. like a wise man. ‘do not spend days underground water sources. he gazing at the cunning city, growing
shimmering world of riches and as i grew older, the voice became on just eating.’ he would say to me, could be perfectly content with his but i didn’t have hui’s pure soul. i felt brighter in the distance as night fell.
brilliance, but with a cold center. real. it was my little brother talking to quoting the ancients. books, a well, and a little land for the allure of the city even on my skin. ‘What should i do,’ i asked hui. there
i was always drawn to the city, but me. hui was years my junior, but but hui was also a very natural boy. rice and bee-keeping. at the age of 14 i was almost mad were tears in my eyes. ‘how can a
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