Intentional rebirthing experience from a microcosmic experience to a macrocosmic one and becoming the conduit, the "middle voice" between the two - committing to sharing the messages received.

1. REBIRTH:
Re-union of Spirit & Nature
Copyrighted Material: Chrystal Lynne Spencer-Churchill 2011

2. My Wilderness Quest, the papers I wrote, the books
I read, the images that arose from the paintings
with saran wrap, my dreams, and intuition—all
droplets gathering together to form a river that
would wash over me.
Reborn in these baptizing waters, my spiritual life
renewed with a sense of wonder for the
landscapes of the natural world. I find myself a
conduit speaking from the “middle voice,”
weaving threads to unite Spirit with Nature
housed in a practice of attentive intimacy.

3. Premise: EcoSpirituality is the Re-union of Spirit with Nature
• There is a strict dualism between Spirit and Nature. Every human being is a
combination of these two principles. ~ Patanjali
• The Hopi tradition speaks of a fall from grace in which human beings
experienced themselves as progressively more separate from earth, animals,
and other humans. The return to grace is through reunion. The cause of the fall
is ascribed to people’s forgetting their true nature and purpose. ~Arthur Deikman
• There is a Cartesian split between the knower and the known…a spectator
knowledge about things. ~Abraham Maslow
• …two important kinds of knowledge exist, one based on reason and empiricism,
and the other, no less important, based on intuition and noetic understanding.
~Henri Bergson
• A human being is a part of the whole, called by us “Universe,” a part limited in
time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something
separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This
delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to
affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves
from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living
creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. ~Albert Einstein

4. A possible resolution to this split, this “fall from grace” and the resulting
imbalance and fragmentation we now witness lies in developing a new
mythology around EcoSpirituality – a reunion of Spirit with Nature.
Myths have provided the major cultural guidelines for the conduct of life. It is only
in our own time that major cultures have lacked a common, coherent myth—a grand,
unifying picture, story, and explanation of the cosmos. Indeed this lack of a common
myth may be a major factor in the fragmentation and alienation that haunts so much
of the contemporary world. Much may depend on our ability to create a new myth
appropriate to our time and needs. ~Roger Walsh
In the West, our present underlying mythology is housed within the Judeo-
Christian tradition and its values. Built into the tenets of monotheistic religion
is an admonishment of intimate bodily connection (embodied spirituality) as a
pathway to the sacred. In its texts, Genesis 1:28 for example, God gave man
dominion over the earth. This, along with other examples, set up a
conditioned distancing, a pattern of control and disconnect from nature.
Overtime, this developed into economic and technical mastery failing to take
into consideration the health and welfare of all the Earth’s creatures as well as
of our future generations.
Thousands of years of literal adherence to this mythology has played a part in
the rampant unearthing of Gaia’s treasures, depletion of Her resources, and
blatant disrespect for the land via technological advancements focused on
economic gain.

5. MY PERSONAL WOUND: LACK OF A DIVINE FEMININE ROLE-MODEL TO BALANCE
Without strong role-models of a Divine Feminine presence under
fundamentalist monotheistic religious systems, women, as well as the
anima in men, have been conditioned to distance themselves from an
immediate, personal experience of the sacred, and taught to seek a
transcendent presence of the Divine most often through an intermediary
– usually male. This sets up conditioned patterns of distancing, and my life
was steeped in them—thus, perhaps, my passion. The wound becomes
the gift, but first I had to experience it fully.
I am a child of Western conditioning supported by a patriarchal
underpinning and immersed in a collective psyche whose attention is to
attributes arising from the left-brain while negating the validity of the
right, and a society that continues to be subconsciously influenced by the
biblical Genesis creation myth. Until another mythology arises to infuse
the culture with a new foundation – other than Descarte’s machine –
which is yet another form of distancing, as a Spirit having a human
experience, I intend to seek deeper, intimate connection to the Great
Mother as Gaia. In the bear caves at Pinnacles, I sought to re-member
myself through intentional rebirthing: a ritual death of the old paradigm’s
grip on me, and a rebirth into balance as a conduit between duality.

6. In her book, To Be a Woman: The Birth of the Conscious Feminine, Connie Zweig
states, “Growing up as young girls, we are told by adults that we were made in
the image of God.” From the outset we are given an image to which we, as
women, can never aspire, merely by the simple fact that we were born female.
Jane Wheelwright says, “A baby girl born into a society that believes in this ideal,
even if only implied, will inevitably be affected my it.” Having no feminine heroine
to inspire us, we are forever designated to a lesser role, to the status of helpmate
to the more powerful and authoritative male. Christine Downing, author of the
book, The Goddess, explains, “To be fed only male images of the divine is to be
badly malnourished. We are starved for images which recognize the sacredness
of the Feminine and the complexity, richness, and nurturing power of female
energy…We long for images which name as authentically feminine courage,
creativity, loyalty, self-confidence, resilience, steadfastness, capacity for clear
insight, inclination for solitude, and the intensity for passion.” In her essay, “Why
Women Need the Goddess” found within Womanspirit Rising, Carol Crist says,
“Religions centered on the worship of a male God create moods and motivations
that keep women in a state of psychological dependence on men and male
authority.” The earth is my Divine Feminine: the Great Mother, the Great
Goddess. Her voice waits to be heard. Through cultivating attentive intimacy
with the land, a form of EcoSpirituality, we are able to hear Her whispering….

7. U
The path of evolution isn’t a straight line; it is much more like a U. The left hand of the
U traces the path from “original participation” to our current estrangement from nature.
…We are just beginning to make our ascent back up, this time on the right hand of the U.
…Now we can begin to participate…by becoming conscious of the power of our
imagination in creating the world. …The world we see is a result of thousands of years of
work by the human mind. ~Owen Barfield
(identified with “participatory epistemology”, the knowing that occurs when perceiver and perceived are united as a single consciousness)

8. WALKING BAREFOOT ON
MOTHER EARTH

9. MY YEAR’S SOJOURN BEGINS AT
PINNACLES NATIONAL MONUMENT
SAN ANDREAS FAULT LINE – THE RING OF FIRE: INTIMACY AND ENERGETIC CONNECTION
TO THE ARCHETYPAL VOICE OF THE EMERGING
GREAT MOTHER

10. Chrystal Lynne 2011
Arrow pointing the way into the bear caves
It took me awhile to connect the dots, but with a
friend’s feedback concerning the images that magically
emerged in my second saran-wrap painting, I began to
see how the puzzle pieces fit together. She saw that the
form in my painting showing me the way to my own
rebirth, was the Mother Mary. Her suggestion triggered
a connection to a dream I’d had a month earlier where
ancestors, one of them the Mother Mary, were guiding
me.
One cannot set intent, call in the ancestors, and then
not take heed and open to their guidance when they
The Mother Mary was is one
actually do show up! of my guides.

11. An excerpt from my dream:
On the edge of sleep, in a hypnogogic state, I felt myself sinking downward.
Suddenly, the ancients, their forms rather iconic, encircled me. They looked
as if they’d been carved in linoleum. Robed figures with their deep-set eyes,
long noses, and pursed mouths looked down on me as I lay deep in this grave-
like hole, curled up in a fetal position. It was dark and I felt so alone. They
stretched their arms toward me. I sensed that they had always been there,
but that I’d been too focused on having sunk to the deepest depths and was
too mired in the muddy darkness to notice. . . .lying at the bottom of the pit,
I felt warmth coming out of these ancient hands, so many hands, reaching
down to me to help me up. Shrouded in light the Mother Mary stood out
amongst the others…
And here she was, she’d shown up in my painting. This was a HUGE
epiphany! Although not a Catholic, who better for me than the mother of Jesus,
the Christ to point the way to the Great Mother Gaia? Throughout Southern
France where I’d made pilgrimage in 2000, the Mother Mary is venerated
alongside the Black Madonna, representing the “total woman.” Approached with
reverence, I knew She, as Gaia, would reveal Her healing power, Her ability to
nurture, feed and care for Her children and would once again be given the honor
and respect She so deserved as representative of the
Divine Feminine.

12. Chrystal Lynne Feb.

13. Though so much activity is happening all the time, it is very difficult to be attentive to the
point of intimacy…intimacy depends on serendipity, but also on attention.”
~ Stephanie Kaza
Field of Bright Spirit: Intimate Relations with the Natural World
Attentive intimacy
with the land as the
focus of my spiritual
practice became the
underpinning for my
year’s sojourn. Entering
Pinnacles National Park,
I wondered why I felt
so strongly that THIS
PLACE was to be the
base-camp for my journey. Why Pinnacles and not Yosemite…with the megalith “El
Capitan” and “Spirit in the Land” a source of inspiration for so many. Walking the land, my
hair, like fine antennae picking up frequencies, caught the whisper floating by…not the
whisper of Great Spirit, but the voice of the Great Mother. I was told that this land was
once a volcano. The energy below its surface, rising, pregnant, like the lands of Hawaii.
The Ring of Fire—the portal where the blood, the vital energy of the Great Mother, ran
close to the surface—accessible to those who paid attention. Later, receiving
confirmation of the ancient volcano below the surface at the visitor center, I knew I was
being drawn to write from the voice of the Mother within the land.
Writing from the “middle voice” a conduit btw. The two would be my genre.

14. The amphitheater adjacent to the
bear caves where I sang out my
prayers and intentions loud and
clear for the whole world to hear.
I listened while they echoed in the
canyon…it was then I saw my first
Stone Person staring right at me.
I amble with an explorer’s temperament.
I am alert for the numinous event, for
evidence of a world beyond the rational.
~Barry Lopez

15. “You took my breath away, oh ancient
guardian of the talus bear caves. I would
never have been privy to your benevolent
gaze had I not been overtaken by a
sudden urge to stop, enter into the
amphitheatre-like indentation adjacent to
the cave’s entrance, turn completely
around with back planted firmly against
cold rock, and reverently speak my
prayers and intentions aloud. It was at that
moment my eyes befell you: stalwart,
omniscient, primeval. Piercing eyes
exuding hope that all who enter the den in
a winter phase would emerge renewed.
And I, so small, would be but a wart aside
your nose. Oh, majestic crystallization of
the primal substance of the cosmos, your
rust spots speak to the many tears you
have cried. With Fatherly concern, you
are patient with your children. I am
honored to have such a profound witness
to my rebirth into the land, into deepening,
remembering my wild nature as one in the
wild. Returning to the arms of the Great
Mother.” Chrystal Lynne 2011

16. Oh Divine Mother
Even in the hardness of rock
Your forms are soft and pulsate
With life.
The passage is narrow
Your blood stains the rock
Making my way through
your vaginal passageway
Into the womb
Awaiting REBIRTH.

17. Into the
caves… “Women find their way back to themselves not
by moving up and out into the light like men,
but by moving down into the depths of the
ground of their being.” Maureen Murdock
The Heroine’s Journey

18. We might consider our link to another time when darkness
(attributed to the feminine) was considered positive –
symbolizing wisdom, life, fertility, the earth, and regeneration.
To go in the dark with a
light is to know the light,
To know the dark, go dark.
Go without sight.
And find that the dark, too,
blooms and sings,
And is traveled by dark feet
and wings.
Wendell Berry
Collected Poems
“Darkness precedes light and she is mother.”
-inscription in the altar of the Salermo Cathedral in Italy

19. The Feminine Emerging
My being descended
i could feel my womb area
tingling and pulsating with vibration
as “I” grew larger.
Not an upward ascent,
it was a plunging into the deep,
a letting-go and giving-way
to something bigger.
(poem cont. next page)

20. The environment—rich and teeming with life
embraced by something thick and palpable
It was as if i was encased within my Self.
Enfolded, i became one with the languid,
powerfully-soft textures surrounding me.
Suddenly i felt myself contract
within a minute membrane
i’d become an oval-shaped seed
engulfed in a mother’s warmth.
The vibrations nourished
the dryness of the outer shell
and i could feel myself being nurtured
by this loving, receptive field.
Glittering stardust flowed
over the top of my seed-egg
golden sparks danced over its surface
as i pushed out of a small, fleshy aperture.
My feet became tree roots
seeking the depths.
(poem cont. next page)

21. Roots, like tiny veins,
moved this fluid up into my trunk
spreading a warm, red, blood-like substance
throughout my body.
With hands clasped and fingers pointed
i prodded and probed the dark earth above me
as the whispers of women elders
fluttered like silken shawls over my shoulders.
i could feel their breath on my face
and long, gray hair enveloping me
forming my limbs.
With one strong BURST from this deep, dark
womb i emerged
engulfed in love.
(poem cont. next page)

22. Before me stood a huge figure with pendulous
breasts and large, strong thighs.
She was smiling with a mother’s love as
tears streamed from her soft, round eyes.
“See me and know your Self,” she whispered.
Chrystal Lynne 2011

23. High above me I saw ancient
Stone Faces acting as sentinels for
the healing waters of the Great
Mother. (do you see the ET faces
at the top of the photo?)
Arising renewed from the bear
caves, they were the first thing I
saw; my witnesses as I came out
of the dark and into the light:
reborn.
(I am amazed that the ancient one
who emerged in my second
painting resembles the ancient
faces in these rocks. It amazes me
even more that a baby’s head
could be found in the markings
left by the saran wrap and was
held lovingly in the hands (thumb)
of the ancient “ET” one.)
see opening photo

24. Thus was the experience of my rebirth in the talus bear caves.
“Emerging from the darkness and into the
light of day, I marvel at the Great Mother’s
steadfast presence presiding over the
crystal clear waters that have baptized me
anew. You are the ultimate lyricist—singing
beauty into being. Your songs echo
throughout the canyon, strengthening the
resolve of each new budding seed as you
call forth their new names. You, Mother,
are the womb of life, the entrance into the
void where seeming nothingness is
palpably full. With my delivery from the
bear caves I now reverberate with the
vibrations of your pulsating tones. The
dawning of a new day, a new beginning
packed inside a tiny seed of hope
bestowed upon me in that little acorn from
the Spirit of the Land at Yosemite.”
Chrystal Lynne 2011

25. Again, I have my friend to thank; it was she who pointed out
that the “parent” in my painting was both masculine and
feminine. This sent me off on a new adventure to research
just “who” my new parent was following this rebirthing
experience. What I found in texts that “speak” to me…
The infinite Absolute Source is indescribable. Jewish
esoteric Kabbalists, in attempting to define this
energy, refer to it as the En Sof or Ain Soph: the
Limitless Light, the Radiant Darkness, the Source of
everything. This complete Wholeness, this Absolute
Source remains outside the boundaries of space and
time, and therefore outside the realm that we, as
humans, know and understand. In earlier times this
Source was identified as androgynous.
A prayer to the Mother/Father has been uncovered
in Hippolytus, REF. 5.6, which reads, “From Thee,
Father, and through Thee, Mother, the two immortal
names, parents of the divine being, and thou,
dweller in heaven, humanity, of the mighty name…”
In the Gnostic Gospel to the Hebrews, Jesus spoke of
“my Mother, the Spirit.”

26. ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES…
Not until creation is made manifest are we introduced to a knowable
source of divinity. When we attempt to understand this Absolute
Source, we tend to use vocabulary familiar to us. This, of course, limits
the Limitless. In the West, this naming process included attaching
gender to the Source and ascribing male characteristics to it.
Thousands of years of this one-sided focus has resulted in imbalance
and fragmentation. Reunion is necessary for equilibrium to return to
the planet: when neither polarity is venerated over the other.
Born into the lands of the West, and raised in a fundamentalist
Christian tradition, it is here that I believe both my wound and gift lie,
and I believe the earth, as Mother, is seeking to have a voice.
My words arise from the middle voice—speaking not about personal
experience, but from it, dissolving the subject-object focus, stretching btw.
Spirit and Nature - the relationship between them, making music together,
the “Eco” in ecology & the “Spirit” in Spirituality: seeking reunion – my quest.

27. The Sun doused His light
and I completed the last
half of my Wilderness
Quest in the darkness.
A concern I have while
traveling is that like a stone
skipping over the pond’s surface I,
too, will simply skim over the
more intimate encounter that is
possible while being fully present
to a particular area over an
extended period of time. The
rhythm of the seasons, the first
rays of sunlight kissing the dew
over the grass and making it
sparkle like diamonds, the
lingering chem-trails gone puffy
pink as the setting sun paints the
sky with roses:
Intimacy deepens with time and exposure.

28. Riane Eisler says, “Of all life-forms on this
planet, only we can plant and harvest fields,
compose poetry and music, seek truth and
justice, teach a child to read and write – or
even laugh and cry. Because of our unique
ability to imagine new realities and realize
these through ever more advanced
technologies, we are quite literally partners
in our own evolution. …In the world as it will
be when women and men live in full
partnership there will, of course, still be
families, schools, governments, and other
social institutions. But like the already now
emerging institutions of the equalitarian
family and the social-action network, the
social structures of the future will be based
more on linking than ranking.”

29. Consciousness is trying to move from
power to love.
MARION WOODMAN

30. The entire planet is a living organism
and if one practices attentive intimacy
through experiential means: nature
speaks. Although the Absolute Source
defies expression and no words do it
justice, I will give it my best, utilizing
the “middle voice.”
Nature is the embodiment, the
manifestation of spiritual archetypes.
Contemplation on any creature,
element, or vital energy holds the
potential to induce inner
transformation and to bring about a
merging of the two, which were never
separate in actuality, only in our
minds.

31. Hope, like beauty and dignity, is
imminent in land—that is, in the pattern
of relationships within a place, where
human agency has not severed too many
of those connections and impoverished
the place….Where its dignity has been
taken, no hope arises, and no healing can
come of it to us who have broken it until
we attempt its restoration. Where hope
still lies…we may give the gift…to others
best by turning what we find into a story.
~Mark Tredinnick

32. Will you teach your children what we
have taught our children? That the
earth is our mother? What befalls the
earth, befalls all the sons of the earth.
This we know: the earth does not
belong to man, man belongs to the
earth. All things are connected like
the blood which unites us all. Man did
not weave the web of life, he is
merely a strand in it. Whatever he
does to the web, he does to himself.
~Chief Seattle

33. ODE TO THE GREAT MOTHER
"I who am the beauty of the green earth and the
white moon among the stars and the mysteries of
the waters, I call upon your soul to arise and come
unto me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life
to the universe. From Me all things proceed and
unto Me they must return. Let My worship be in
the heart that rejoices, for behold - all acts of love
and pleasure are My rituals. Let there be beauty
and strength, power and compassion, honor and
humility, mirth and reverence within you. And you
who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and
yearning will avail you not, unless you know the
Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not
within yourself, you will never find it without. For
behold, I have been with you from the beginning,
and I am that which is attained at the end of

34. How can we save what we do not love, and how can we love what we do not
know? ~ Aldo Leopold
HOME IS
WHERE THE HEART IS…
Chrystal Lynne
2011
…AND MY HEART LIES WITH KNOWING AND LOVING THE GREAT MOTHER:
GAIA