1. The power of empathy: Peer groups help veterans, police
and moms of kids with special needs
P0er gi"oups help veterans, police and moaYts of lt:ids wi'i:h s1Jecial need~;
9:40AM, Jan. '17, 2012
Cherie Castellano, a crisis intervention professional and program manager at UMDNJ's Behavioral
HealthCare division in Piscataway, is the driving force behind the creation of peer support programs for
mothers of special-needs children, veterans and police officer. On Jan. 9, she led a peer counselor
meeting and training session in Piscataway for participants in the Mom2Mom initiative. I Photo courtesy
UMDNJ
What do police officers, military veterans and motllers have in common?
They all fall into the category of those who help and support others- but often, do not
get the help and suppott that they need, according to Cherie Castellano, the driving
force behind the creation of three Central Jersey-based peer-to-peer support programs.
The programs, offered by the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, are
proving that empathy, wllich arises from walking in the shoes of another, creates a
2. powerful connection and support for those in crisis.
That, in turn, helps both parties heal.
Castellano is a crisis intervention
professional and program manager
at the University of Medicine and
Dentistry of New Jersey's Behavioral
HealthCare division in
Piscataway.
Richard Dvorin, a retired police off icer and
resident of East Brunswick, has been a peer counselor offering assistance on the phone lines in the
Cop2Cop program in 2005. His son, pictured behind him, died in Iraq in 2004, and Dvorin is now a
counselor in a veterans program. I Photo courtesy UMDNJ
She is the director of Cop2Cop, which she established over a decade ago prior to the
terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2001; NJ Vet2Vet, established in 2005; and Mom2Mom,
established in late 2010, which offers support and guidance to mothers of children with
special needs.
All three programs, also known as "reciprocal peer support," offer help through face-to-
face support groups and round-the-clock telephone assistance.
"Those who have been through an experience have an opportunity to be a gateway of
hope for someone else who is going through the same or similar experience,"
Castellano said.
Making connections
"I think when you are speaking with someone who has an academic background in
psychology, it can be verY helpful, but when you are connecting with someone who has
experienced the same situations and issues that you are going through, it i$ just very
meaningful and there is an instant and easy understanding," Nal<eishia Knox of Newark,
a peer support counselor who focuses on outreach wi·ih the Mom2Mom program, said.
Knox said that the idea of mothers of children with special needs supporting other
mothers who are struggling with the same issues, concerns and pressures offers a
satisfying experience for those who want to use what they have been through to help
others.
3. "There is a great comfort in hearing other mothers telling their stories. It creates an
extraordinary sharing through which both the moms that are sharing and the moms
who are listening- benefit," said Knox, who is the mother of an autistic child.
"When you are grappling with questions like, 'Why did this happen to me' or 'Why did
this happen to my child?' there is nothing quite like hearing what other mothers have to
say about how that feels," Knm< added.
Castellano said the peer-support programs have received attention by professionals in
her field.
Medicaid is now recognizing the efficacy of peer-to-peer support.
Following Sept. 11, Castellano was assigned to coordinate support for 1,900 first
responders in New Vorl<and New Jersey.
She also led service responses for the New Jersey Task Force One, Port Authority
Police Department, NYPD and 10 New Jersey Police Departments.
She pioneered the 9/11 Rescuer Reentry Program for the Port Authority Police
Department.
She has received the New Jersey Governors Excellence Award, N.J. Attorney General
Recognition Award, as well as the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation
World Congress Award for Outstanding Response in a Mass Disaster.
Castellano, the wife of a police officer, said there is extraordinary power in the
connection that takes place between people who have walked in similar shoes,
and especially those who are responsible for the care of others.
"I like to say that we are caring for people who care for people," Castellano said. "When
you get an opportunity to reflect on what you have been through and use that
experience, you are able to help someone else in a very unique way. It is about being
present with someone, not judging, just showing pure kindness."
Richard Dvorin of East Brunswicl<, a retired police officer, first became a peer counselor
offering assistance on the phone in the Cop2Cop program in 2005.
His son, Seth, 24-, a soldier, was killed when a roadside bomb exploded near
lskandariyah, Iraq, on Feb. 3, 2004.
The elder Dvorin, who also served as an air police officer in the Air Force, was asked to
work as a counselor in the New Jersey Vet2Vet program in 2006.
4. Dvorin said that there was one veteran whom he will never forget
The veteran talked about missing his dead child.
The caller was talking in a way that led him to believe that he might take his own life in
order to be with his deceased child, Dvorin said.
"At that point I told him about how I lost my son in Iraq, and the things I do to keep him
alive every day," Dvorin said tean"ully.
Dvorin said he sensed a profound change in the attitude of the veteran who was
struggling with profound grief.
"Being able to help a fellow veteran has helped me enormously," Dvorin said. "At the
time I felt as though my son was looking over my shoulder telling me I did a good
job. If veterans do not take care of other veterans, then who will do it?"
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