Presentation at WebJam 9. A Tongue in Cheek look at Programming Languages

1. THE CODE
Gary Barber - Information Architect, User Interaction
Designer
radharc.com.au
manwithnoblog.com
WebJam9

2. WebJam9

3. WORKING-STORAGE SECTION.
77 WS-NAME-ERROR-FLAG
77 WS-NAME
COPY NAMEW.COB.
PROCEDURE DIVISION.
PIC 9(01) COMP VALUE 0.
PIC X(30) VALUE SPACES. Cobol
000000-CONTROL.
PERFORM 000100-PROCESS-NAME
THRU 000100-EXIT
UNTIL (WS-NAME = quot;ENDquot;).
000000-EXIT.
STOP RUN.
000100-PROCESS-NAME.
DISPLAY quot; quot;.
DISPLAY quot;ENTER NAME (UP TO 30 CHARACTERS)quot;.
DISPLAY quot;123456789012345678901234567890 ('END' TO STOP)quot;.
MOVE SPACES TO WS-NAME.
ACCEPT WS-NAME.
IF WS-NAME = quot;ENDquot;
GO TO 000100-EXIT.
MOVE WS-NAME TO NAW-NAME-WORK.
PERFORM 006000-NAME-EDIT
THRU 006000-EXIT
IF (WS-NAME-ERROR-FLAG = 1)
DISPLAY quot;NAME INVALIDquot;
GO TO 000100-EXIT.
MOVE WS-NAME TO NAW-NAME-WORK.
PERFORM 006100-NAME-REVERSE
THRU 006100-EXIT
DISPLAY NAW-NAME-WORK.
DISPLAY quot;LAST: quot; NAW-SPLIT-LAST.
DISPLAY quot;FIRST: quot; NAW-SPLIT-FIRST.
DISPLAY quot;PRE: quot; NAW-SPLIT-PRE.
DISPLAY quot;POST: quot; NAW-SPLIT-POST.
000100-EXIT.
EXIT.
COPY NAMEP.COB.
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4. HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A PET
Lolcode
GIMMEH PET, OBTW
This is the beginning of a long comment block, or actually,
quot;OBTWquot; was the beginning. And to end it...
TLDR
BOTH SAEM PET AN quot;CATquot;, O RLY?
YA RLY,VISIBLE quot;JOO HAS A CATquot;
NO WAI, VISIBLE quot;JOO NEEDS CATquot;
OIC
I HAS A VAR
GIMMEH VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10?
YARLY
BTW this is true
VISIBLE quot;BIG NUMBER!quot;
NOWAI
BTW this is false
VISIBLE quot;LITTLE NUMBER!quot;
KTHX
KTHXBAI
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5. Coldfusion
<cfloop LIST = quot;#Server.Coldfusion.SupportedLocales#quot;
index = quot;localequot; delimiters = quot;,quot;>
<cfset oldlocale = SetLocale(quot;#locale#quot;)>
<cfoutput><p>#locale#<br />
Local: #LSEuroCurrencyFormat(123456, quot;localquot;)#<br />
Currency Number:
#LSParseEuroCurrency(quot;EUR123456quot;)#<br />
International: #LSEuroCurrencyFormat(123456, quot;internationalquot;)#<br />
None: #LSEuroCurrencyFormat(123456, quot;nonequot;)#<br />
<hr noshade>
</p></cfoutput>
</cfloop>
WebJam9

6. Ruby
require 'rubygems'
require 'httparty'
class Ebay
include HTTParty
end
begin
item = Ebay.get('http://rorbuilder.info/cgi-bin/ebay.cgi)['ebay']
item.each do |key, value|
puts key + ': ' + value
end
rescue
p 'oops that product doesn't exist'
end
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7. WebJam9

8. WebJam9

9. F ingerversitive
U niversial
C ompiled
K nowledge
I ntegration
T ranslator
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10. 2 x 5 elements
11 = optiumal
base5
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11. function()
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12. pointer [x]
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13. pointer.pink.hair [x]
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14. loop()
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15. loop.2()
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16. loop.x()
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17. loop.(oops)
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18. flag.x = declare()
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19. flag.x = .maybe.
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20. flag.x = .wtf.
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21. if(x is .true.)
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22. case (this | that)
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23. case (this only!)
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24. blind.panic(!purplehair)
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25. just.crazy(horns)
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26. pray()
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27. flip()
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28. flip.2()
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29. flip.2x()
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30. flip.x()
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31. HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
LACHLAN
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