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Chapter 12
3MEW
We discovered the importance of words in the first part of this book. It is time now to dive into how to
use these words to facilitate our success. In order to adequately create a life of success it is imperative
that one learn the role of perspective and how to maintain control. There is a simple formula to help.
3MEW is not unique but stolen from my one day experience at an anger management class back in
2002. I had just been eliminated by an injury from my dream of playing collegiate Division I football at
New Mexico State and was having a difficult time dealing with the transition into society. Football is a
great sport and allows for young people to have an outlet for their over stimulated emotions. It is a
highly emotional game in which you are rewarded for your intensity and aggressiveness. The problem
comes when you have been engulfed in its culture for so long that you have learned to lean on football
as your only means of emotional release. After playing the game for 15 years, I had not found another
way to release or control my overly emotional state. 58
Anger management was the result after I had an episode in which the muscle relaxers I was taking for
my injuries reacted badly with the nutritional supplements I was taking to increase my performance on
the field or in this case return to the field as soon as possible. The chemical reaction in my body left my
mind completely confused as to what to do and put me in a manic state. It all came to an explosion
when my high school sweetheart cheated on me and I simply needed to let off some steam. So as to not
take my anger out on any people, I punched the rear end of my Geo Storm and put a large dent in the
car. Realizing that I was destroying my only transportation I turned my anger to the nearest tree and
punched it until my knuckles bled. I could not control what was going on. The rage was getting bigger
and bigger, it felt as though I was going to explode out of my own body, a combustible human ticking
bomb. I took an ice cold shower and tried to calm down, which helped but my breathing was erratic and
my roommate was concerned about me so we called my family to let them know what had occurred. My
mother suggested that I at least see the psychiatrist to determine if it was just a reaction or if there was
something more deeply eroding in my mind.
It was determined by me more than any professional doctor that the chemical combination of medicine
and supplements was creating in my body a mass of destructive thoughts and actions. However, in order
to appease my mother as all good boys sometimes must, I agreed to meet with the counselor. I do not
remember her name but I do remember the things she told me and where her office was at the time. I
walked into the office cluttered with books and sat down. The long haired woman with glasses attached
via the chain around her neck sat with me and after novel introductions she got to her question. “What
do you feel when you are angry?” Imagine my surprise when this educated woman asked me the
dumbest question I think 59

2. I have ever heard. So I answered as any late teen would with a smart ass comment. “I don’t know,
angry? Upset? Mad? Perturbed? What else….” She stopped me mid-sentence as I was trying to think of
more synonyms for anger and said “You’re just a smart ass aren’t you, you don’t need to be here.” I said
“You’re right, I don’t I have already found my problem and fixed it, but thanks for seeing me.” She
grabbed this small pamphlet off of her desk of cluttered papers and said “here just read this, you will be
fine” in her rattled sarcastic voice. I thanked her and that was the end of the shortest therapy session in
history. The session was unimportant but the pamphlet changed my life.
The pamphlet was dedicated to the idea of multiple perspectives. It basically described a block letter “E”
and that if you turn it to a different perspective it changes to an “M, W, and a 3”. The idea was to look at
any event from more perspectives than you own to determine the right course of action prior to
attacking the problem. It became a simple idea that has stuck with me and been a significant part of
how I teach children. I have modified the E to give each part different meanings and rules in order to
make this a functioning tool for education.
E is for any EVENT that happens in history.
3 is the number of viewpoints one must look at to determine truth
M is the manipulator that created the outcome.
W is the WIN the person who won and how they won.
This is great way to teach and learn social studies because all of history has a common thread in that the
3MEW is effective in determining enough information to create your own interpretation as to the truth.
History is interpretive and truth is internal so you must determine 60
your own truth. This is not a history lesson but it is important to realize that past is a 4 letter word and
as such our past is full of emotions that have been manipulated by some piece of society to create our
nation and our world. The 3MEW concept has been further expanded in life skills teaching as
interpreted involving Emotions.
E is the emotion in everything
3 is the number of different types of people that are effected by the emotion
M is the manipulator
W is the Win.
In essence you must identify the emotion, look at 3 different ways to manipulate to create your desired
outcome which can only happen if you W.I.N.
As we have discovered early emotions are in everything that we do and in all four letter words there is
emotional attachment. I am not advocating the stoic belief of non-emotion but rather the conscious

3. control of emotion used as a tool to create success. Think about your daily life. Select any event and you
will find that emotion played a significant role in the success or failure of that task. Let’s take waking up
for instance. When your alarm goes off, are you mad? Tired? Lazy? Or do you wake up in a panic,
apprehensive, afraid to be late, or do you wake up on purpose with a purpose to be a purpose. Notice
how each of these different emotional states affects the outcome of the morning. You take your
emotions with you to work, school, or family. How are you waking up? I am not naïve enough to believe
that it is possible to wake up happy, joyful and excited about the day. I myself am not a morning person,
but that doesn’t mean that my day can’t have a purpose. I believe I woke up for reason so I might as will
have a 61
purpose and live life today on purpose for a higher purpose. I have a new day so let’s see what kind of
success I can be today. Dominate the day is my own personal morning mantra as I look into the mirror to
remind myself who I am and who I will be today. In the previous example we chose three different ways
to wake up and showcased how they have the capability to affect emotions which affects outcome. This
is true in any emotional event, a manipulator must be found to dictate the outcome. The easiest
manipulator to spot is the emotion. Attitude some people say is everything and they are correct, but
attitude is a byproduct of emotion and emotion can be controlled and manipulated by a series of factors
including physiology, psychology and personal experience. You must make a conscious decision as to
who you will be on a daily basis. Will you be the manipulated or the manipulator of your emotions
controlling your personal outcome? If you are not controlling your own emotional state then you are
allowing someone or something else to control your world. Manipulation is not a bad thing all of the
time just as there are also good consequences to some actions. There are good manipulations that put
the people in place to help you attain success and your greatness. You can use the people around you to
help you balance and control your own destiny through emotional control first of the self, then through
your actions or other like-minded individuals, this is the concept of leadership. Finally if you can do
these things you will win. W.I.N. however is a prerequisite for winning. W.I.N. is a concept that I heard
from Lou Holtz as he was speaking at a motivational convention in Albuquerque, New Mexico. W.I.N.
stands for “What’s Important Now”. This is an incredibly powerful tool in controlling your emotions and
destiny because it breaks this large task down to the simple fragments, moments in time. This moment
of your choice, 3MEW will help you control emotions and you can dominate this moment. After which
you can transition to the next moment and be even 62
better than you were in your previous best moment. It is important that you live in the moment. No
distractions, no cell phones, no random off topic conversation, but pure focus on the one moment in
time and making that moment the best moment in your life as it leads to the next moment in your life.
Total focus on the task rather than the outcome creates the desired outcome. If you are spending family
time, then be all there, invest your full attention, emotion and energy into making this moment your
best family memory. Turn off the cell phones, IPad and tablets and sit down at dinner and connect to
your family. Football often uses a term for the next play as your last play. If this was your last dinner

4. with your family, is this how you would want it to be remembered. I disagree with this thinking because
it puts a negative spin on something so possibly amazing. What if this moment, this family time, this
homework assignment, this meeting is the best meeting you will ever have? What would it look like, feel
like, what would you go away thinking, what memory would last forever. Picture your best moment and
ask yourself why this moment can’t be even better than that moment. The answer is you are not fully
invested in this moment and to make it great you must fully invest, take risks and allow yourself to
connect to the moment and foster your relationships on the principle of W.I.N.