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Even before       Children & Marriage
marriage, 86% of
 couples believe
  that children
  would put an                     Kids a
                                   problem
   additional                      Kids NOT
STRAIN on their                    a problem
   marriage–
They are Right
   If children have
    priority over
    marriage, problem
    s will increase.
   Kids have more
    power in the home
    than the stepparent

    This creates
    resentment, jealousy,
    hurt, anger and
    competition.
   Making the
    marriage a
    PRIORITY
    RELATIONSHIP
   Paradoxically
   invites the children
    to gain respect for
    stepparents

    EMPOWERS the stepparent to actually
    care for the children in loving and
    sacrificial ways, due to a lack of
    competition
   We shouldn't
    neglect our
    children to focus
    all the attention
    on our spouse, at
    the expense of the
    children.
             BUT!
    Bottom Line: When push comes to shove,
    we must make it clear to our children that
    our marriage will last ABOVE ALL ELSE
   Children are
    threatened by a
    strong marriage:
   They feel of loss &
    failure,
   lost dream of Parental
    Reconciliation
   A Parent's
    commitment to their
    marriage is the        It is the first step toward
    foundation of the         marital INTIMACY
    home.                          Stepfamily
                             HARMONY, and
“It was when our 5 children came to
        believe and accept that
  our marriage wasn’t going away
    that our stepfamily turned the
               corner to
        Peace and harmony.”
Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 people
Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios
              Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.com
              Cartoons permission by cartoonstock.com
        Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group

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Lesson 4 Children and Parenting

  • 1.
  • 2. Even before Children & Marriage marriage, 86% of couples believe that children would put an Kids a problem additional Kids NOT STRAIN on their a problem marriage– They are Right
  • 3. If children have priority over marriage, problem s will increase.  Kids have more power in the home than the stepparent This creates resentment, jealousy, hurt, anger and competition.
  • 4. Making the marriage a PRIORITY RELATIONSHIP  Paradoxically  invites the children to gain respect for stepparents EMPOWERS the stepparent to actually care for the children in loving and sacrificial ways, due to a lack of competition
  • 5. We shouldn't neglect our children to focus all the attention on our spouse, at the expense of the children. BUT! Bottom Line: When push comes to shove, we must make it clear to our children that our marriage will last ABOVE ALL ELSE
  • 6. Children are threatened by a strong marriage:  They feel of loss & failure,  lost dream of Parental Reconciliation  A Parent's commitment to their marriage is the It is the first step toward foundation of the marital INTIMACY home. Stepfamily HARMONY, and
  • 7. “It was when our 5 children came to believe and accept that our marriage wasn’t going away that our stepfamily turned the corner to Peace and harmony.”
  • 8. Aloha Stadium holds 50,000 people
  • 9. Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios Xhilliwhack, BC OCOI.Studios@gmail.com Cartoons permission by cartoonstock.com Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group

Notas do Editor

  1. CHILDREN AND Parenting:when kids are part of the package.Even before marriage, 86% of couples believe that children would put an additional STRAIN on their marriage– They are Right
  2. CHILDREN AND Parenting:If children have priority over marriage, problems will increase.Kids will have more power in the home than the stepparentThis creates resentment, jealousy, hurt anger and competition between the child and the stepparent
  3. Making the marriage a PRIORITY RELATIONSHIP, then, invites the children to gain respect for stepparents and IT EMPOWERS the stepparent to actually care for the children in loving and sacrificial ways, due to a lack of competitionThis is contrary to popular wisdom. It challenges the unhealthy emotions and attitudes of single parents who are unhealthily attached to their children!
  4. We shouldn't neglect our children to focus all the attention on our spouse, at the expense of the children. Bottom Line: When push comes to shove, we must make it clear to our children that our marriage will last ABOVE ALL ELSE
  5. Children often feel threatened when your marriage is strengthened: They feel a sense of loss and often failure, as their dream of Parental Reconciliation is diminished.Even with the child' fear, insecurity and anxiety, about the new stepfamily, a Parent's declaration and demonstrated commitment to their marriage is the foundation of the home.It is the first step toward marital INTIMACY Stepfamily harmony, and effective parenting
  6. “It was when our 5 children came to believe and accept that our marriage wasn’t going away that our stepfamily turned the corner to Peace and harmony.”
  7. REMEMBER? This is based on research with 50,000 people experienced in step family situationsCondoning childish immaturity is hurting the child and both parents:1. Your partner, the stepparent will eventually leave, lonely and bitter.2. The child will grow up without the ability to form satisfying adult relationships and enter fulfilling marriageFinally, the most depressing fact!3. The biological parent will be lonely in their old age: After studying children of divorce for 25 years, Psychiatrist Judith Wallerstein observed that children of single and divorced parents rarely visit their aged parents in convalescent homes.HOLD ON TO YOUR MARRIAGE!