Friday, October 11, 2013 3:30pm - 5pm Conflict resolvers are often called upon to assist individuals with conflict situations through one on one conversations. This workshop employs a conflict transformation coaching model to focus on practical strategies that can increase effectiveness in this arena. These techniques provide pathways for helping clients change their conflict behaviors and affect more peaceful interactions in their personal and professional lives. Insights and examples from practice stories and interviews will augment specific skill- building exercises for envisioning and executing these new actions.

1. PUTTING HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN:
Making Peace Happen Through Conflict Transformation Coaching
ACR 2013 Conference Workshop
Kay Julien, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2011 Dorothy J. Della Noce, J.D., Ph.D., & Kay Julien, Ph.D.
Please do not reproduce or circulate without express permission.

2. CONFLICT COACHING:
THE TRANSFORMATIVE FRAMEWORK
Coaching: “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to
maximize their personal and professional potential” (The International Coaching Federation).
Conflict coaching: a process for helping clients build the personal resources to deal effectively with
conflict.
• Coach
focuses
on
helping
the
client
build
personal
resources
to
manage
con6lict
Coach
• Client
discusses
experiences
with
coach
• Con6lict
"stories"
Client
• Con6lict
interactions
are
"outside
the
room"
• Con6lict
management
efforts
take
place
"outside
the
room"
Others
involved
in
con6lict

3. CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION THEORY
IN A NUTSHELL
Conflict is a crisis in human interaction.
Human experience of conflict: The occurrence of conflict tends to destabilize the
parties’ experience of both self and other. The destabilized experience of self
and other has two dimensions: relative weakness (confusion, fear,
disorganization, vulnerability, powerlessness, uncertainty, indecisiveness) and
relative self-absorption (self-protection, defensiveness, suspicion, hostility,
closed-mindedness).
Destructive cycle: When people in conflict are interacting, the negative dynamics
often feed into each other in a vicious cycle that intensifies each participant’s
sense of weakness and self-absorption. As a result, the interaction between the
participants quickly degenerates and assumes a mutually destructive, alienating,
and dehumanizing character.
Constructive cycle: People have the ability to change the quality of the conflict
interaction. Specifically, people can and do make dynamic shifts along two
dimensions while conflict unfolds. Empowerment is the shift toward increasing
clarity, confidence, personal strength, organization, decisiveness. Recognition is
the shift toward increasing attentiveness to other, responsiveness to other,
openness to the other’s humanity, and appreciation for the other's situation.
Thus, despite conflict’s potentially destructive impacts, people have the capacity to
move back into their sense of personal strength or self-confidence (the
empowerment shift) and their sense of openness or responsiveness to the other
(the recognition shift). As these positive shifts feed into each other, the interaction
can regenerate and assume a constructive, connecting, and humanizing
character. Third parties and other helpers in conflict, like coaches, can help foster
these transformative shifts.
Empowerment Recognition
Autonomy
Agency
Independence
Empathy
Compassion
Interdependence
The Empowerment Shift
From relative weakness to relative strength
The Recognition Shift
From relatively self-absorbed to relatively open
and responsive to the other

4. WHY CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION THEORY
IN COACHING?
What brings people to conflict coaching is a desire to change the way they engage in conflict
interactions. Specifically, we see a desire to improve one’s own ability to express and assert
oneself, as well as a desire to improve the way one relates to others. Empowerment and
recognition support the client’s efforts at making desired changes (arrows in graphic below).
Empowerment & recognition
in the client’s conflict interactions
Empowerment & recognition
in the helping relationship
In the coaching conversations (the helping relationship), the coach supports the
possibility of conflict transformation (constructive change in the quality of the client’s
conflict interactions) by supporting the client’s efforts at self-empowerment and extending
recognition to others.

5. WHAT DOES PRACTICE LOOK LIKE?
Iterative cycles of the “helping” conversation:
Empowerment and recognition can be considered the driving forces that help the cycles to
unfold. The coach does not need to direct movement from cycle to cycle; he or she need only
attend to empowerment and recognition.
The cycles can be thought of as activities that will take shape in any coaching conversation if
the coach attends to empowerment and recognition. Activity within the cycles will naturally
occur (and recur) in a unique sequence for each coaching conversation. There is no wrong
direction through the cycles. Cycles can develop and unfold in any order, and can recur again
and again.
Building
a
relational
context
(how
will
we
have
this
conversation?)
Exploring
the
situation
(what
is
this
about
now?)
Gaining
insight
(what
does
this
mean?)
Envisioning
action
(what
can
be
different?)

6. WORKSHEET
Coaching Competencies
Competency Area Practice Insights Support for E&R?
Coach’s Role
Goal of Practice
“Map” of Process
“Movement” through
Process
Opening Conversation
Notice
Investigate
Renovate
Choose
Communication Skills
Listening/Attending
Reflecting
Summarizing
Questioning
Brainstorming
Informing
Explaining
Suggesting

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