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The Phone Book… A Love Story
By Anna Lines
Yes, it’s that time of year once again, when we all cannot help but begin to reflect on
the past (big sigh!). It’s always a time for remembering not only this past year, but
also reflecting on the years gone by. As per usual, I feel a bit nostalgic when the
holiday season rolls around, and the air seems charged with expectation and
excitement. I also feel anxious, almost giddy, like I did when I was very young, on my
way to visit my extended family in northwest Indiana.
It’s as if my birthday and Christmas and Halloween and every holiday that ever
existed have merged into one, creating a kind of mystical fairy dust that has been
sprinkled around the world, and sometimes in the most unexpected places.
For example, while at the office very recently, my boss mentioned that we had just
received the most recent edition of the phone book. Yes, I am actually referring to
that phone book, and who doesn’t remember the phone book? But I noticed
something shocking as my boss pointed it out; it was small enough to fit through a
standard size household letterbox! Then it hit me, that my beloved phone book.....
was shrinking!
Apparently, the 2016 Yellow Pages has shrunk in height by almost 2 inches, and by
about 1.5 inches in width. I couldn’t believe it! A greatly important and, in my mind,
beloved book, a necessity throughout my lifetime was becoming a... forgotten relic.
In fact, it was diminishing in size right before my disbelieving eyes, yet I was too
blind to realize it. Some time in the past 20+ years, we have quietly deemed the
phone book useless.
But think back! When, at one point in our history the phone book was THE new,
hot and must-have phenomenon. And when was this, you might well ask?
It all started in 1876, when a very young Alexander Graham Bell was granted a
patent on his new-fangled invention, the telephone. Two years later in New Haven,
CT, Bell installed the first telephone exchange.
Now, enter the next key inventor, George W. Coy. With a background as a telegraph
operator and the creator of the commercial switchboard, Coy was already aware of
new strides in American tele-communications. He founded the District Telephone
Company of New Haven and on February 21, 1878 (just a few days after Valentine’s
Day), his company produced the world’s first telephone directory!
And get this! This brand new book consisted of a single, one-sided sheet of paper
that included only 11 residences and 39 businesses. Plus, the list only contained
names, not numbers, because back in the day, operators would connect a caller to
whomever he wanted to call. It was a very rudimentary version of what we are all so
accustomed to today.
These saviors of small-business operations proved to have more influence than just
advertising and keeping lists. According to a story from an old railroad journal in
1935, the Manhattan telephone book supposedly protected train cars from bandits!
Legend has it that a fruit company in Central America filled the inside of the steel
train car walls with 4,000 pounds of Manhattan telephone books. These books just
happened to be the same thickness as the partitions inside the walls, thus creating a
bulletproof train.
Ever since their invention, phone books have proved to be a reliable and profitable
source. The Yellow Pages makes somewhere along the lines of $15 billion a year
from the advertisements. On the case of reliability, what happens if there is a huge
snowstorm and everyone is left without power? Where would you look to find snow
removal services, mechanics, or electricians? There wouldn’t be electricity to use
your computer or to charge your smart phone. The only thing left to do would be to
consult the phone book.
Thank goodness you didn’t throw it away like you thought about doing earlier,
right?
In extreme emergencies the phone book comes in handy. Let’s also not forget that in
case of a zombie apocalypse you can use a phone book and some tape to wrap your
arms up for protection from zombie bites, like Brad Pitt did in World War Z.
If the idea that phone books serve as protection from bullets and zombies isn’t quite
doing it for you, remember that these books are also useful bug killers and booster
seats. The very famous and very short jazz pianist Erroll Garner used a special copy
of the Manhattan “White Pages” to reach the keys.
Phone book paper is easily used as kitty litter or confetti. You would be considered a
“strongman” if you could rip a phone book in half. Apparently the Guinness World
Record for ripping the most telephone directories is only 27.
Being an Art History major, I was curious to see if there were any artists making
work out of phone books. There are! A Cuban-American artist named Alex Queral
carves three-dimensional portraits of famous actors, politicians, artists, etc into
phone books. Another example is Gabriel Orozco, a sculptor of global significance.
His work entitled Dial Tone, 1992, involved cutting and pasting columns of numbers
from a Mexican phone book onto Japanese paper.
On a more serious note, phone books have become pretty sustainable. According to
the Local Search Association, since 2007 paper use for directories has been reduced
by over 70%. The Yellow Pages pride themselves with the fact that sales aided by
their advertisements not only help local economies and create jobs, but also reduce
energy usage and the industry’s footprint. The phone book is probably the only book
that tells you to recycle your old directories because they are 100% recyclable!
With all of this in mind, I can’t understand why there is so much disregard for our
friend the phone book. It is interestingly sad that the book that has been printed
more than any book in history is so disrespected.
I remember looking at phone books when I was little; scrolling through the lists of
tiny font names and numbers, I would come up with elaborate stories as to who
each person was and what they were doing that day. I realize now that what
interested me the most about phone books is that they are simply a collection of
memories. A collection of memories from each year, in each city containing
countless stories that could forever be lost if we choose to ignore or discard an
important piece of history: the phone book.
So, maybe this holiday season we can all remember that magical feeling I mentioned
before and keep an open mind about what may seem like a mundane task or thing. I
know I would like to hold on to that childlike mindset towards this season and to
remember the importance of memories and the forgettable random like the phone
book.
Let us all try our best to be giddy and optimistic towards life, just like Steve Martin
was as Navin Johnson in The Jerk, 1979: “The new phone book’s here! The new
phone book’s here!”

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The Phone Book… A Love Story Edited (1)

  • 1. The Phone Book… A Love Story By Anna Lines Yes, it’s that time of year once again, when we all cannot help but begin to reflect on the past (big sigh!). It’s always a time for remembering not only this past year, but also reflecting on the years gone by. As per usual, I feel a bit nostalgic when the holiday season rolls around, and the air seems charged with expectation and excitement. I also feel anxious, almost giddy, like I did when I was very young, on my way to visit my extended family in northwest Indiana. It’s as if my birthday and Christmas and Halloween and every holiday that ever existed have merged into one, creating a kind of mystical fairy dust that has been sprinkled around the world, and sometimes in the most unexpected places. For example, while at the office very recently, my boss mentioned that we had just received the most recent edition of the phone book. Yes, I am actually referring to that phone book, and who doesn’t remember the phone book? But I noticed something shocking as my boss pointed it out; it was small enough to fit through a standard size household letterbox! Then it hit me, that my beloved phone book..... was shrinking! Apparently, the 2016 Yellow Pages has shrunk in height by almost 2 inches, and by about 1.5 inches in width. I couldn’t believe it! A greatly important and, in my mind, beloved book, a necessity throughout my lifetime was becoming a... forgotten relic. In fact, it was diminishing in size right before my disbelieving eyes, yet I was too blind to realize it. Some time in the past 20+ years, we have quietly deemed the phone book useless. But think back! When, at one point in our history the phone book was THE new, hot and must-have phenomenon. And when was this, you might well ask? It all started in 1876, when a very young Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent on his new-fangled invention, the telephone. Two years later in New Haven, CT, Bell installed the first telephone exchange. Now, enter the next key inventor, George W. Coy. With a background as a telegraph operator and the creator of the commercial switchboard, Coy was already aware of new strides in American tele-communications. He founded the District Telephone Company of New Haven and on February 21, 1878 (just a few days after Valentine’s Day), his company produced the world’s first telephone directory! And get this! This brand new book consisted of a single, one-sided sheet of paper that included only 11 residences and 39 businesses. Plus, the list only contained names, not numbers, because back in the day, operators would connect a caller to
  • 2. whomever he wanted to call. It was a very rudimentary version of what we are all so accustomed to today. These saviors of small-business operations proved to have more influence than just advertising and keeping lists. According to a story from an old railroad journal in 1935, the Manhattan telephone book supposedly protected train cars from bandits! Legend has it that a fruit company in Central America filled the inside of the steel train car walls with 4,000 pounds of Manhattan telephone books. These books just happened to be the same thickness as the partitions inside the walls, thus creating a bulletproof train. Ever since their invention, phone books have proved to be a reliable and profitable source. The Yellow Pages makes somewhere along the lines of $15 billion a year from the advertisements. On the case of reliability, what happens if there is a huge snowstorm and everyone is left without power? Where would you look to find snow removal services, mechanics, or electricians? There wouldn’t be electricity to use your computer or to charge your smart phone. The only thing left to do would be to consult the phone book. Thank goodness you didn’t throw it away like you thought about doing earlier, right? In extreme emergencies the phone book comes in handy. Let’s also not forget that in case of a zombie apocalypse you can use a phone book and some tape to wrap your arms up for protection from zombie bites, like Brad Pitt did in World War Z. If the idea that phone books serve as protection from bullets and zombies isn’t quite doing it for you, remember that these books are also useful bug killers and booster seats. The very famous and very short jazz pianist Erroll Garner used a special copy of the Manhattan “White Pages” to reach the keys. Phone book paper is easily used as kitty litter or confetti. You would be considered a “strongman” if you could rip a phone book in half. Apparently the Guinness World Record for ripping the most telephone directories is only 27. Being an Art History major, I was curious to see if there were any artists making work out of phone books. There are! A Cuban-American artist named Alex Queral carves three-dimensional portraits of famous actors, politicians, artists, etc into phone books. Another example is Gabriel Orozco, a sculptor of global significance. His work entitled Dial Tone, 1992, involved cutting and pasting columns of numbers from a Mexican phone book onto Japanese paper. On a more serious note, phone books have become pretty sustainable. According to the Local Search Association, since 2007 paper use for directories has been reduced by over 70%. The Yellow Pages pride themselves with the fact that sales aided by their advertisements not only help local economies and create jobs, but also reduce
  • 3. energy usage and the industry’s footprint. The phone book is probably the only book that tells you to recycle your old directories because they are 100% recyclable! With all of this in mind, I can’t understand why there is so much disregard for our friend the phone book. It is interestingly sad that the book that has been printed more than any book in history is so disrespected. I remember looking at phone books when I was little; scrolling through the lists of tiny font names and numbers, I would come up with elaborate stories as to who each person was and what they were doing that day. I realize now that what interested me the most about phone books is that they are simply a collection of memories. A collection of memories from each year, in each city containing countless stories that could forever be lost if we choose to ignore or discard an important piece of history: the phone book. So, maybe this holiday season we can all remember that magical feeling I mentioned before and keep an open mind about what may seem like a mundane task or thing. I know I would like to hold on to that childlike mindset towards this season and to remember the importance of memories and the forgettable random like the phone book. Let us all try our best to be giddy and optimistic towards life, just like Steve Martin was as Navin Johnson in The Jerk, 1979: “The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!”